why must butches put down femmes like that? i certainly don't go around making general put down statements about butches -- so why should they do so about femmes?
On the risk of being castrated (so to speak), those statements are generalizations since not all butches say, think, or even feel these things ... I know I dont.
I, personally, love "high maintenance" femmes ~ for a long time in my youth, I thought "high femme" = "high maintenance femme." Now that Im older, I realize that I like and respect the high maintenance femmes and I have no fucking clue what a high femme is. :-/
I know this hasnt anything to do with any one specific person or event, but Im sorry that whatever sparked this happened .. a lot of people make horrible sweeping generalizations about both butches and femmes and it hurts us because it invalidates who we are. It hurts our community because it causes a divide and misinformation about our IDs
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Re: Double Standardsparker_wolfDecember 22 2005, 20:16:47 UTC
Girl, there are double standards all over the fucking place when it comes to butches and femmes .. some in favor of butches, some in favor of femmes.
None of them are cool ~ or hell, even close to being right ~ but they're there just the same.
I cant understand why high maintenance would be a bad thing, nor why being metrosexual would be a bad thing, nor why a femme fucking a butch, nor a butch cooking dinner ... it ALL fucking amazes me, you know?
Why cant we all be who we are and not just tolerated for it, but fucking accepted and celebrated for it?
I say if you're high maintenance, go with it because you sure as hell deserve it.
"High Maintenance", to my ears, means one of two things. Either someone is genuinely difficult to deal with on an emotional level, or, more likely, someone is just lazy. I find that nearly all the butches who make this statement are lazy, meaning they don't want to make an effort to compromise, understand, etc. You know, they just want to skate along and get all the goodness without doing anything for it. And I'm not really down with that. I'm also, apparently, more emotionally developedthan the average butch. But still, I agree that it's just not a good preactice for people to get into, the whole calling of names. Kudos for stepping up. Then again, why is it nearly always the Femmes who speak up about this? Oh, the world...
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i certainly don't go around making general put down statements about butches -- so why should they do so about femmes?
On the risk of being castrated (so to speak), those statements are generalizations since not all butches say, think, or even feel these things ... I know I dont.
I, personally, love "high maintenance" femmes ~ for a long time in my youth, I thought "high femme" = "high maintenance femme." Now that Im older, I realize that I like and respect the high maintenance femmes and I have no fucking clue what a high femme is. :-/
I know this hasnt anything to do with any one specific person or event, but Im sorry that whatever sparked this happened .. a lot of people make horrible sweeping generalizations about both butches and femmes and it hurts us because it invalidates who we are. It hurts our community because it causes a divide and misinformation about our IDs ( ... )
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Butch = Complicated
There is an underlying double communication that is going on there. One looking more negative - the other more positive or statement of fact.
Whatever... A fag once told me - "Darling of course your High Maintence... It's FABULOUS - isn't? Why would you be offended?"
The entire "High Femme" thingy... don't get me started- I completely DESPISE that ID -- It's just Femmes pissing on tree's as far as I'm concerned.
DieKs
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None of them are cool ~ or hell, even close to being right ~ but they're there just the same.
I cant understand why high maintenance would be a bad thing, nor why being metrosexual would be a bad thing, nor why a femme fucking a butch, nor a butch cooking dinner ... it ALL fucking amazes me, you know?
Why cant we all be who we are and not just tolerated for it, but fucking accepted and celebrated for it?
I say if you're high maintenance, go with it because you sure as hell deserve it.
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I love a "high maintenance" woman who has complex emotions. Can you imagine the opposite? boring.
I love a "high maintenance" woman who keeps me on my toes, keeps life interesting and is a challenge.
High maintenance to me is a compliment. Anyone who would use it as a derogatory term strikes me as insecure.
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