Fic - Issue #2, "Waking Up" take 2

[thalyamuse]

Finally!

I cut almost 4,000 words from this one and I still think the panel descriptions in some places could use more work. But it still got cleaned up in a major way. Now I'm off to woo my muse and work on my masterpiece, issue #3.

Here's the artist's version (original). This one has thumbnail pages for about half the pages.

Here's the hybrid/prose

Comments

[liabrown]

The concept is very sound, very interesting. The writing flows as well as the format allows it to (which is one of my biggest gripes about script style; it's tough to get into the rhthym of what's going on). Self-insertion stories are not really to my taste, but you pull it off pretty well.

I liked the stuff with Star Sapphire and the Gardners best (is Joe canon?). They have good interplay and snappy dialogue that's enjoyable.

[thalyamuse]

Thank you! I knew I was walking a tightrope with the self-insertion, so I'm glad for the success there - it's kind of like playing Mary Sue whack-a-mole when not metamorphosed into a MacGuffin. In another respect, I'm glad to get that bit of character perspective out of the way early in the story, what with each issue getting a new narrator.

And yep, Joe's canon, though obviously obscure (gotta love DCUguide.com..). The last time he popped up was in a very early Birds of Prey arc (he was introduced in Guy's mid 90s series), and I wouldn't be surprised if Johns Spectre-punched him out of existence in GL: Rebirth. SS and Joe have retreated for the time being, though they will return in force and with as much entertaining wrongness as the screen can contain.