Fandom has been one of those over-invested, twisty relationships for me
I haven't been in fandom very long, but already there are times when I just want to call quits to the whole thing and back quickly away. And here I hoped that it'd get easier, rather than harder. Apparently, I'll need to learn to pick out the raisins, too. :)
Hiya, sweets! Sometimes I need to back away from fandom to remember what I like about it because it's so easy to let the things I don't consume me; picking out the raisins does seem the best way to go, although for me it's also been a matter of figuring out what's a raisin and what's a chocolate chip.
Dude, I understand, at least about the "Why do people like me?" thing. The best answer I have for that these days is because they like random jokes about Renaissance and Victorian literature, or because they have an overhonesty kink.
Ha! I know just what you mean! I'm occasionally overcome with the desire to explain why they shouldn't like me, but in that case at least I have the sense to button it.
It's really funny (and reassuring!) to realize that everyone else has those same mutterings within themselves about fandom, and the how and why of it... :)
Bodies, big and beautiful, small and beautiful, should be loved for what they are; I simply lost sight of that and withheld the love.
Wow, that's exactly the issue I'm grappling with at the moment. A helpful friend, who could see, above my head, the black cloud of loathing over these stubborn extra 20 pounds, recently wrote me a card in which she pointed out all the great things about my body. Some where purely cosmetic, but some were things I totally take for granted- being able to get out there and do a steep, 5-mile hike even after months of slothful inactivity, being able to eat anything, be it fatty or spicy or cruciferous with nary a blip of indigestion, and the fact that I never get zits or menstrual cramps. Put that way, there's a lot to love, even with the extra padding. That's not to say I should give up the salads-n-jogging, but it certainly gives me something nicer to focus on than just wiggly arm fat.
Thanks for a great post- the lesson of picking out the raisins is a good one for any sector of life.
What a spectacular friend to have, and the ensuing attitude is something I love/applaud/try-to-emulate! It's so easy to think, "X part of my body, why aren't you better?" and forget about all the bonuses and benefits of having your body, whether or not it conforms to conventional standards, inside and outside of your head. And if you can do a steep five-mile hike, babe, you have a body definitely worth loving!!!
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I haven't been in fandom very long, but already there are times when I just want to call quits to the whole thing and back quickly away. And here I hoped that it'd get easier, rather than harder. Apparently, I'll need to learn to pick out the raisins, too. :)
I miss you when you don't post for a while.
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*many smooches*
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*pats your bountiful arse*
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*wriggles bountiful ass*
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Wow, that's exactly the issue I'm grappling with at the moment. A helpful friend, who could see, above my head, the black cloud of loathing over these stubborn extra 20 pounds, recently wrote me a card in which she pointed out all the great things about my body. Some where purely cosmetic, but some were things I totally take for granted- being able to get out there and do a steep, 5-mile hike even after months of slothful inactivity, being able to eat anything, be it fatty or spicy or cruciferous with nary a blip of indigestion, and the fact that I never get zits or menstrual cramps. Put that way, there's a lot to love, even with the extra padding. That's not to say I should give up the salads-n-jogging, but it certainly gives me something nicer to focus on than just wiggly arm fat.
Thanks for a great post- the lesson of picking out the raisins is a good one for any sector of life.
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