Comments | tharp42: A Failure to Communicate

tharp42

A Failure to Communicate

Apr 15, 2010 17:09

Last week I noticed that a student of mine was absent. He had come to every class before but now suddenly stopped.

"Jae Yong?" I asked all week, scanning the room. Nothing. Another red slash in the attendance book.

On Monday morning I rolled into class and called out the names as I always do. Again, I got to his.

"Jae Yong?" Silence. "Where's ( Read more... )

Comments 9

anonymous April 15 2010, 10:33:56 UTC

Crazy shit, man. If you hadn't asked the class, I wonder how long you would have said the kid's name before someone told you he's dead. Though I enjoy most everything you write, it's nice to hear a little about your work and life on the penninsula again. It's been awhile.

anonymous April 15 2010, 19:13:28 UTC

That country is fucked up man.

cuoeSrs

misswrite April 15 2010, 23:09:55 UTC

Hmmm. I wonder if, in Korea and other countries where there is less importance placed on the individual and more on community/family, the act of suicide suggests a failure on the part of the family rather than just the individual. It sounds from the way your boss reacted that suicide is such a delicate and shameful thing that maybe he didn't inform you because he was afraid your natural reaction to make any kind of expression about it to your class might be culturally inappropriate. Or probably informing you was just too far out of his comfort zone, so he just couldn't be bothered.

Anyway, it's terrible news about your student. :(

tharp42 April 16 2010, 01:15:00 UTC

I think it was out of his comfort zone. My boss hates any kind of directness and/or confrontation. He literally crawls in his own skin when discussing a delicate matter and having to do it in English, which he speaks with all the foreigners.

shame, grief... misswrite April 16 2010, 11:57:58 UTC

i'm korean korean, went to university in america. as a korean-korean, i can tell you that suicide is something koreans do not talk about because 1) just a horrible nature of it and 2) the shame factor. your boss probably didn't want to discuss something so sensitive about someone else's family issues to anyone (or his if something like that happened to his family - god forbid) and probably opted for everyone to find out on their own without him having to tell it. and once they found out, he most likely hoped that everyone not discuss it ( ... )

Re: shame, grief... tharp42 April 16 2010, 19:58:19 UTC

Thanks for the comment. It's really great to hear your perspective.

And please realize that I was not so much complaining in this post but more questioning. I really was curious as to what was going on.

Thread 5

gringo_in_tj April 16 2010, 23:21:43 UTC

Man, GREAT story, absolutely incredible the comparisons in culture.

tharp42 April 17 2010, 04:47:32 UTC

Thanks David.