'This Is A Love Story In My Own Way' [Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross]
Title: 'This Is A Love Story In My Own Way'
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: Panic! at the Disco
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Profanity
Pairing: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Word Count: ~1,350
Summary: Late-night Sidekick conversations & unprecedented confessions.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm the lucky girl who owns Brendon & Ryan - they live in my desk drawer & I bring them out when I want to be entertained ...only really, really not because much as it pains me to say it, I made this stuff up.
Author's Notes: The title is adapted from a line in 'Bang the Doldrums' by Fall Out Boy.
---<---<---@
bden - whats the meaning of life?
sry 2 ask u @ this time of nite but its been bugging me + i cant sleep.
~ry
Brendon blinks, re-reads, blinks again, and then types out a reply in the weak pre-dawn light.
ryan - what?
Ryan frowns at the response, which isn’t really much of a response at all.
whats the meaning of life?
i asked u already, bren.
i want 2 no what u think.
Brendon bites his lip, brow furrowing in thought. If he can just concentrate hard enough, maybe he’ll come up with something that - no, fuck it, it’s too late at night.
ry, i have infinite answers 2 that, none of which r srs.
if ur looking 4 philosophy, go ask spence.
y r u sidekick-msging me neway?
im in the bunk above u.
Ryan pouts a little at the lack of a definitive answer, but taps a message back anyway.
spence is asleep + im msging u b/c it’s easier 2 talk about this kind of stuff in writing.
sidekicks make everything seem smaller, u no what i mean?
Brendon bites back a chuckle, types out a quick reply, hits ‘Send’ and then smirks like the Cheshire Cat.
sidekicks make everything seem smaller? im sure pete would LUV 2 hear u say that.
There is a delay of several seconds while the message gets lost in space before finally landing a little over five feet below where it was deployed. Brendon can tell the exact moment Ryan reads it because he hears a delicate snort followed by a giggle.
u no what i mean! besides, pete has no trouble in that department. dnt pretend u havent looked @ those pix.
Ryan blushes slightly, hesitates over the keys, but eventually sends what he’s written. Shortly afterwards he hears a snicker, then a series of creaking sounds, and before he knows it more and more of Brendon’s long legs are materializing from the semi-darkness as he climbs down the ladder from his bunk. He leaps straight from the penultimate rung to the bottom of Ryan’s bed, causing Ryan to let out a little squeak and a whisper of protest: “Bren! Spence and Jon are sleeping!”
“I know,” Brendon whispers back, “that’s why I didn’t jump on you.”
Ryan sits up and swipes at him, but Brendon just grins and ducks. He likes to think he has naturally quick reflexes but Ryan disagrees, blaming instead Brendon’s absurd propensity for being annoying (more and more people try to hit him, thus he gets better and better at avoiding them). Regardless of the causation, Brendon is skilled at dodging blows and Ryan soon gives up - his heart’s not in it anyway. He lies back down, drawing the covers up to his chin, and Brendon slides up beside him and crawls underneath, resting his head against the other boy’s chest.
“Hmm,” Brendon murmurs lazily against the warmth of Ryan’s body, “so you looked at those pictures of Pete, huh?” He feels Ryan tense slightly - not a lot, and only for a second, but it’s there.
“Did you?” Ryan is an expert at fielding questions.
“Hell yeah!” Brendon is an expert at having no shame.
“And?”
Ryan really wants to know, Brendon muses, eventually deciding that this is a lot easier than the meaning of life question and he’ll take it. He pulls away from Ryan, rests his head on the empty side of the pillow (still warm from where Ryan was lying before), and looks the boy straight in the eyes. “They were fucking hot.”
Ryan giggles uncertainly and tilts his head so that a sheath of hair falls across one eye.
“I’ve always felt…” Brendon begins cautiously, “you know. About Pete?”
Ryan stares at him intently for a few moments before finally nodding.
“And…” Brendon continues, suddenly bold, “and about you too.”
Ryan looks confused. “And about me…?”
Brendon runs his tongue over his bottom lip, bites said lip, waits for Ryan to figure it out. He knows he’ll be able to tell the exact moment when realization dawns because Ryan’s eyes will grow as big as saucers and he’ll let out a little gasp.
As Brendon looks on, Ryan’s eyes grow as big as saucers and he lets out a little gasp. ‘Fuck,’ Brendon says to himself. Usually he’d congratulate himself on his amazing powers of prediction, but right now he’s too nervous.
“You mean, you…?” Ryan begins carefully, looking at Brendon but not quite meeting his eyes.
“Yeah,” Brendon admits in a low voice, feeling like he’s done something wrong. Maybe he has.
“I -” Ryan’s throat is dry as sandpaper and he has to swallow twice before he can get the words out. “Brendon, oh my God…” Brendon squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t deal with this face-to-face - they should’ve stuck to Sidekick-messaging because Ryan’s right, it does make everything seem smaller. “…I feel the same way,” Ryan finishes, so fast that it all sounds like one long word.
Brendon opens his eyes so quickly it feels like he’s sprained something. Do eyelids even have muscles? He makes a mental note to check that on the Internet later, then makes another mental note not to dissociate and snaps back into reality. “Excuse me, Ryan, what?”
A look of fear flashes across the other boy’s face. “You like me, isn’t that what you were trying to say?” Ryan asks cautiously.
Brendon’s heart melts at the uncertainty he sees in Ryan’s eyes. He can think of all manner of annoying wisecracks and puns, not to mention unwanted flashbacks to the sixth grade where “like” only meant as a friend and “like-like” meant something more, but the truth is that he knows exactly what Ryan means and doesn’t want to waste anymore time talking in circles around the boy he like-likes. “Yes,” he says simply, and if he thought Ryan’s eyes were big before, that was nothing compared to what they are now. “You like me too?” he questions, just to make things crystal clear. In his heart he already knows Ryan does, but he doesn’t always trust what his heart tells him.
Ryan looks like a little boy who’s just been told that today is Christmas, Easter and his birthday all rolled into one. It’s cute. “I do,” he breathes, reaching across the pillow to rub the tip of his index finger up and down over the curve of Brendon’s left cheekbone. “How could I not?”
And oh, a little part of Brendon dies inside, but in a good way. It keeled over from a happiness overdose, or something. He makes a mental note to research happiness overdoses along with eyelid muscle strain because tonight has made him a prime candidate for both. “Ry,” he whispers, and Ryan leans in to listen. He’s expecting something beautiful and deep - probably something funny too, seeing as it’s Brendon. And Brendon is anything but insecure so the one thing Ryan isn’t prepared to process is “Why do you like me?” but that’s what he gets.
“At the risk of repeating myself, Brendon, how could I not?”
Now Brendon’s grinning like an idiot and trying not to blush (it’s still pretty dark so it doesn’t matter all that much, but he seems to have forgotten this) and Ryan’s shifting his body closer, moving his hand to the back of Brendon’s neck… and suddenly they’re kissing. Ryan pressed his lips against Brendon’s and before Brendon even had a chance to think about it he was pressing back, and now they’re kissing. Brendon loses himself in the kiss; he stops feeling anything but Ryan, and he stops thinking anything at all. In fact, eyelid muscle strain is the furthest thing from his mind. Tongue strain, maybe.
When Ryan finally pulls away, they are both breathless and gasping. He rests his head on the pillow and tries to catch his breath. “Bren?” he whispers after a few moments.
“Yeah?” Brendon whispers back.
“Stay down here tonight?”
Brendon grins then shifts closer. He places a hand on Ryan’s hip. “Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“How could I not?”
---<---<---@
Author: that_1_incident
Fandom: Panic! at the Disco
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Profanity
Pairing: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Word Count: ~1,350
Summary: Late-night Sidekick conversations & unprecedented confessions.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm the lucky girl who owns Brendon & Ryan - they live in my desk drawer & I bring them out when I want to be entertained ...only really, really not because much as it pains me to say it, I made this stuff up.
Author's Notes: The title is adapted from a line in 'Bang the Doldrums' by Fall Out Boy.
---<---<---@
bden - whats the meaning of life?
sry 2 ask u @ this time of nite but its been bugging me + i cant sleep.
~ry
Brendon blinks, re-reads, blinks again, and then types out a reply in the weak pre-dawn light.
ryan - what?
Ryan frowns at the response, which isn’t really much of a response at all.
whats the meaning of life?
i asked u already, bren.
i want 2 no what u think.
Brendon bites his lip, brow furrowing in thought. If he can just concentrate hard enough, maybe he’ll come up with something that - no, fuck it, it’s too late at night.
ry, i have infinite answers 2 that, none of which r srs.
if ur looking 4 philosophy, go ask spence.
y r u sidekick-msging me neway?
im in the bunk above u.
Ryan pouts a little at the lack of a definitive answer, but taps a message back anyway.
spence is asleep + im msging u b/c it’s easier 2 talk about this kind of stuff in writing.
sidekicks make everything seem smaller, u no what i mean?
Brendon bites back a chuckle, types out a quick reply, hits ‘Send’ and then smirks like the Cheshire Cat.
sidekicks make everything seem smaller? im sure pete would LUV 2 hear u say that.
There is a delay of several seconds while the message gets lost in space before finally landing a little over five feet below where it was deployed. Brendon can tell the exact moment Ryan reads it because he hears a delicate snort followed by a giggle.
u no what i mean! besides, pete has no trouble in that department. dnt pretend u havent looked @ those pix.
Ryan blushes slightly, hesitates over the keys, but eventually sends what he’s written. Shortly afterwards he hears a snicker, then a series of creaking sounds, and before he knows it more and more of Brendon’s long legs are materializing from the semi-darkness as he climbs down the ladder from his bunk. He leaps straight from the penultimate rung to the bottom of Ryan’s bed, causing Ryan to let out a little squeak and a whisper of protest: “Bren! Spence and Jon are sleeping!”
“I know,” Brendon whispers back, “that’s why I didn’t jump on you.”
Ryan sits up and swipes at him, but Brendon just grins and ducks. He likes to think he has naturally quick reflexes but Ryan disagrees, blaming instead Brendon’s absurd propensity for being annoying (more and more people try to hit him, thus he gets better and better at avoiding them). Regardless of the causation, Brendon is skilled at dodging blows and Ryan soon gives up - his heart’s not in it anyway. He lies back down, drawing the covers up to his chin, and Brendon slides up beside him and crawls underneath, resting his head against the other boy’s chest.
“Hmm,” Brendon murmurs lazily against the warmth of Ryan’s body, “so you looked at those pictures of Pete, huh?” He feels Ryan tense slightly - not a lot, and only for a second, but it’s there.
“Did you?” Ryan is an expert at fielding questions.
“Hell yeah!” Brendon is an expert at having no shame.
“And?”
Ryan really wants to know, Brendon muses, eventually deciding that this is a lot easier than the meaning of life question and he’ll take it. He pulls away from Ryan, rests his head on the empty side of the pillow (still warm from where Ryan was lying before), and looks the boy straight in the eyes. “They were fucking hot.”
Ryan giggles uncertainly and tilts his head so that a sheath of hair falls across one eye.
“I’ve always felt…” Brendon begins cautiously, “you know. About Pete?”
Ryan stares at him intently for a few moments before finally nodding.
“And…” Brendon continues, suddenly bold, “and about you too.”
Ryan looks confused. “And about me…?”
Brendon runs his tongue over his bottom lip, bites said lip, waits for Ryan to figure it out. He knows he’ll be able to tell the exact moment when realization dawns because Ryan’s eyes will grow as big as saucers and he’ll let out a little gasp.
As Brendon looks on, Ryan’s eyes grow as big as saucers and he lets out a little gasp. ‘Fuck,’ Brendon says to himself. Usually he’d congratulate himself on his amazing powers of prediction, but right now he’s too nervous.
“You mean, you…?” Ryan begins carefully, looking at Brendon but not quite meeting his eyes.
“Yeah,” Brendon admits in a low voice, feeling like he’s done something wrong. Maybe he has.
“I -” Ryan’s throat is dry as sandpaper and he has to swallow twice before he can get the words out. “Brendon, oh my God…” Brendon squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t deal with this face-to-face - they should’ve stuck to Sidekick-messaging because Ryan’s right, it does make everything seem smaller. “…I feel the same way,” Ryan finishes, so fast that it all sounds like one long word.
Brendon opens his eyes so quickly it feels like he’s sprained something. Do eyelids even have muscles? He makes a mental note to check that on the Internet later, then makes another mental note not to dissociate and snaps back into reality. “Excuse me, Ryan, what?”
A look of fear flashes across the other boy’s face. “You like me, isn’t that what you were trying to say?” Ryan asks cautiously.
Brendon’s heart melts at the uncertainty he sees in Ryan’s eyes. He can think of all manner of annoying wisecracks and puns, not to mention unwanted flashbacks to the sixth grade where “like” only meant as a friend and “like-like” meant something more, but the truth is that he knows exactly what Ryan means and doesn’t want to waste anymore time talking in circles around the boy he like-likes. “Yes,” he says simply, and if he thought Ryan’s eyes were big before, that was nothing compared to what they are now. “You like me too?” he questions, just to make things crystal clear. In his heart he already knows Ryan does, but he doesn’t always trust what his heart tells him.
Ryan looks like a little boy who’s just been told that today is Christmas, Easter and his birthday all rolled into one. It’s cute. “I do,” he breathes, reaching across the pillow to rub the tip of his index finger up and down over the curve of Brendon’s left cheekbone. “How could I not?”
And oh, a little part of Brendon dies inside, but in a good way. It keeled over from a happiness overdose, or something. He makes a mental note to research happiness overdoses along with eyelid muscle strain because tonight has made him a prime candidate for both. “Ry,” he whispers, and Ryan leans in to listen. He’s expecting something beautiful and deep - probably something funny too, seeing as it’s Brendon. And Brendon is anything but insecure so the one thing Ryan isn’t prepared to process is “Why do you like me?” but that’s what he gets.
“At the risk of repeating myself, Brendon, how could I not?”
Now Brendon’s grinning like an idiot and trying not to blush (it’s still pretty dark so it doesn’t matter all that much, but he seems to have forgotten this) and Ryan’s shifting his body closer, moving his hand to the back of Brendon’s neck… and suddenly they’re kissing. Ryan pressed his lips against Brendon’s and before Brendon even had a chance to think about it he was pressing back, and now they’re kissing. Brendon loses himself in the kiss; he stops feeling anything but Ryan, and he stops thinking anything at all. In fact, eyelid muscle strain is the furthest thing from his mind. Tongue strain, maybe.
When Ryan finally pulls away, they are both breathless and gasping. He rests his head on the pillow and tries to catch his breath. “Bren?” he whispers after a few moments.
“Yeah?” Brendon whispers back.
“Stay down here tonight?”
Brendon grins then shifts closer. He places a hand on Ryan’s hip. “Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“How could I not?”
---<---<---@