"As Most Do" part 3/7 (chenzel)
Title: As Most Do (3/7)
Rating: NC-17 (whole series)
Pairing: Chenzel
Summary: Kristin tells the story of her and Idina's relationship.
Kristin and Idina had decided to take things slow. They never went beyond kissing and heavy petting, knowing that if they went any further it would be even harder to go back. They had decided not to tell anyone, figuring it would only complicate things if they did. So even though Idina had woken up in Kristin’s bed on Monday morning with her arms wrapped tightly around the blonde woman, they made sure they arrived to rehearsals separately.
Idina was exactly eleven minutes in front of Kristin and was already talking to Joe when the petite woman arrived. Kristin waved to Idina when she looked over her shoulder at the sound of the door opening, a smile flitting across her face. The small woman was so busy flirting with Idina that she ran into Michelle.
“Excuse you,” Michelle said taking a loud obnoxious bite of an apple. “Sorry,” Kristin murmured looking back over at Idina who had turned back around to Joe. When Kristin looked back to face Michelle, she had seen the woman’s eyes had gone large and she stopped mid chew.
“Oh. My. God,” Michelle said slowly. “What?” Kristin asked squinting at her. “You two slept together!” she said louder than necessary, bits of apple flying from her mouth.
“Ssh,” Kristin said holding a finder to her lips, “That is ridiculous, Michelle!”
“I totally saw this coming!” she said, her eyes wide, “God! You two are fucking glowing! It’s disgusting!”
“We didn’t sleep together!” Kristin said in a harsh whisper and looking around to make sure no one else noticed Michelle’s tirade.
“Like fuck you didn’t! Good God! We’re done! This show is done. We might as well quite workshops because there’s no way the show will make it now!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you don’t necessarily have the best track record for relationships. And Idina. She’s fucking engaged! And completely in love with you! It’s so fucking obvious! God, I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t realize you would be so dense as to actually go through with the feelings. God. Fuck!”
A nauseous feeling began to invade Kristin’s body. “Listen, Michelle,” she said grabbing her arm and leading her to a corner of the room, “Yes, me and Dee are seeing each other-“
“Good God!”
“I don’t see why this is such a bad thing.”
“Listen. You two get all lovey dovey and it’s all good. For a little bit. But then you two break up and you hate each other and the show goes to the shit because our two leads cant stand each other!”
“Michelle, that’s not going to happen.”
“Like shit it’s not! I know how you are. We all know how you are! Idina’s heart doesn’t stand a chance!”
“Hey! Listen to me! This isn’t any of your business! So stay out of it!”
“Like hell it isn’t! There are a lot of people who have a lot riding on this show! Not all of us are lucky enough to actually get offers to do shows, some of us actually had to audition to get here. So when you decide to stop being selfish, you’ll break this off before you really hurt anyone.”
Kristin felt as if she had been punched in the stomach as Michelle stalked away, her face still red with anger. She felt the air start to leave the room and was finding it hard to breath. The floor started spinning and black spots started to appear in front of her eyes. She put her hand out to catch the wall but felt an arm loop around her waist instead.
“Woah, baby, are you okay?” Idina said supporting her as she walked towards the balcony, “Come on, hun, breathe. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” Idina rubbed Kristin’s back soothingly. When she got her breathing under control she felt the tears coming and tried to hold them back. “What’s wrong?” Idina said cradling her face in her hands.
Kristin shook her head, holding the tears back, “Not now. I can’t…we’ll talk about this later. Okay?”
Idina searched Kristin’s face before nodding, “Okay.” She placed a quick kiss on her forehead before walking back into the rehearsal space.
Rehearsal seemed to drag on longer than normal and Kristin was completely exhausted by the end. Idina and Kristin took a cab back to the hotel, but neither spoke, waiting to talk when they got to the hotel. Idina leaned against the wall and watched Kristin carefully as she dug through her bag for her room key, following her in when she finally opened the door.
“Do you want something to drink?” Kristin asked opening the fridge and looking at nothing in particular. Idina closed the door gently and stood in front of Kristin, leaning against the fridge and holding her hands gently. “What’s wrong?”
Kristin looked at their entwined hands and wondered how something that she had been waiting for so long could end so quickly. “I think…” she began with hesitation, “I don’t think we should see each other any more.”
Idina’s mouth opened and closed, her eyes furrowing, “What?”
“I think it would be best if-“
“What are you saying? Why are you saying this?”
“It’s just…there’s too much-“
“Too much? Too much what?”
Kristin could hear the anger rising in Idina’s voice and felt the tears just behind her eyes threatening to fall down her cheeks. “It’s just-“
“Who got to you? It was Michelle wasn’t it?”
Kristin just nodded and flinched when Idina hit the fridge angrily with her open palm. “Dammit, Federer! What did she say?”
She took a shaky breath and tried to speak, “She said that being in a relationship could ruin the show. If we break up then everything will go to hell.”
“Fuckin’ Federer,” Idina said running a hand through her hair, “Don’t listen to her. She thinks she knows everything, but she doesn’t.”
“But, maybe she’s right,” Kristin said quietly.
Idina grabbed her shoulders, “No. She’s not right. Don’t listen to her.”
“She has a point.”
“A point? A point? What kind of fucking point could she possibly have?” Idina said, her grip growing tighter. Kristin winced but didn’t push Idina away.
“I’ll hurt you,” Kristin whispered.
“What?” Idina said.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“I can’t hear you-“
“I’ll hurt you!” Kristin yelled, tears finally falling from her eyes, “I’ll hurt you! I can’t be the person you need me to be!”
Idina dropped her hands from Kristin’s shoulders and began pacing. “What did I do? Things were going so well! I thought I was doing everything right! Fuck. Fuck!”
“Idina!” Kristin said grabbing her arm, “Stop pacing and listen to me.” Idina’s nostrils flared, her face flushed with anger as she bit the inside of her cheek.
“You’re engaged, Idina,” Kristin said as calmly as she could, “I think it’s better if we call this off now before anyone gets hurt and things get messy.”
“Bullshit!”
“Idina, please-“
“No! I’m not going to let you go that easily. I’ve…had feelings for you since we first met. I could never get you out of my mind. You haunted me, Kristin. The longer we worked together the more unbearable the feelings became, it was driving me insane. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. As cheesy romantic comedy as that all sounds it’s true! And now…now I finally have you and you want to leave me? I know you have feelings for me too, Kristin, you can’t deny that.”
The tears were falling freely from Idina’s eyes by now and Kristin held her face between her hands, wiping the tears with her thumbs. She lifted herself on her top toes so that she could press her forehead to Idina’s. “You’re right,” she said quietly, “I can’t deny that. But I’m not going to let you throw away a seven-year relationship on me. And I’m not going to let this jeopardize this show or anyone’s career over a love affair.”
“This is more than a love affair,” Idina whispered, “you can’t cheapen this to nothing more than an affair.”
Kristin sighed and shook her head, “You’re getting married in a couple of weeks, Idina. We can’t do this.”
“I want to do this-“
“Idina,” Kristin said a little more sternly, “I don’t wa-…I can’t do this anymore.” It was hard for Kristin to lie to Idina like that…but she knew that she had to. For her, for Idina, for the show.
“Kristin, please,” she managed to choke out. Kristin didn’t say anything, just kissed her lightly on the lips and stepped back form her, letting their hands touch for as long as possible before she turned away and walked into the bedroom. She heard a few sobs from the kitchen followed by the dragging of feet and the closing of the hotel door. Kristin closed her eyes and let the tears fall freely, knowing she would be regretting this for years to come.
Rating: NC-17 (whole series)
Pairing: Chenzel
Summary: Kristin tells the story of her and Idina's relationship.
Kristin and Idina had decided to take things slow. They never went beyond kissing and heavy petting, knowing that if they went any further it would be even harder to go back. They had decided not to tell anyone, figuring it would only complicate things if they did. So even though Idina had woken up in Kristin’s bed on Monday morning with her arms wrapped tightly around the blonde woman, they made sure they arrived to rehearsals separately.
Idina was exactly eleven minutes in front of Kristin and was already talking to Joe when the petite woman arrived. Kristin waved to Idina when she looked over her shoulder at the sound of the door opening, a smile flitting across her face. The small woman was so busy flirting with Idina that she ran into Michelle.
“Excuse you,” Michelle said taking a loud obnoxious bite of an apple. “Sorry,” Kristin murmured looking back over at Idina who had turned back around to Joe. When Kristin looked back to face Michelle, she had seen the woman’s eyes had gone large and she stopped mid chew.
“Oh. My. God,” Michelle said slowly. “What?” Kristin asked squinting at her. “You two slept together!” she said louder than necessary, bits of apple flying from her mouth.
“Ssh,” Kristin said holding a finder to her lips, “That is ridiculous, Michelle!”
“I totally saw this coming!” she said, her eyes wide, “God! You two are fucking glowing! It’s disgusting!”
“We didn’t sleep together!” Kristin said in a harsh whisper and looking around to make sure no one else noticed Michelle’s tirade.
“Like fuck you didn’t! Good God! We’re done! This show is done. We might as well quite workshops because there’s no way the show will make it now!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, you don’t necessarily have the best track record for relationships. And Idina. She’s fucking engaged! And completely in love with you! It’s so fucking obvious! God, I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t realize you would be so dense as to actually go through with the feelings. God. Fuck!”
A nauseous feeling began to invade Kristin’s body. “Listen, Michelle,” she said grabbing her arm and leading her to a corner of the room, “Yes, me and Dee are seeing each other-“
“Good God!”
“I don’t see why this is such a bad thing.”
“Listen. You two get all lovey dovey and it’s all good. For a little bit. But then you two break up and you hate each other and the show goes to the shit because our two leads cant stand each other!”
“Michelle, that’s not going to happen.”
“Like shit it’s not! I know how you are. We all know how you are! Idina’s heart doesn’t stand a chance!”
“Hey! Listen to me! This isn’t any of your business! So stay out of it!”
“Like hell it isn’t! There are a lot of people who have a lot riding on this show! Not all of us are lucky enough to actually get offers to do shows, some of us actually had to audition to get here. So when you decide to stop being selfish, you’ll break this off before you really hurt anyone.”
Kristin felt as if she had been punched in the stomach as Michelle stalked away, her face still red with anger. She felt the air start to leave the room and was finding it hard to breath. The floor started spinning and black spots started to appear in front of her eyes. She put her hand out to catch the wall but felt an arm loop around her waist instead.
“Woah, baby, are you okay?” Idina said supporting her as she walked towards the balcony, “Come on, hun, breathe. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” Idina rubbed Kristin’s back soothingly. When she got her breathing under control she felt the tears coming and tried to hold them back. “What’s wrong?” Idina said cradling her face in her hands.
Kristin shook her head, holding the tears back, “Not now. I can’t…we’ll talk about this later. Okay?”
Idina searched Kristin’s face before nodding, “Okay.” She placed a quick kiss on her forehead before walking back into the rehearsal space.
Rehearsal seemed to drag on longer than normal and Kristin was completely exhausted by the end. Idina and Kristin took a cab back to the hotel, but neither spoke, waiting to talk when they got to the hotel. Idina leaned against the wall and watched Kristin carefully as she dug through her bag for her room key, following her in when she finally opened the door.
“Do you want something to drink?” Kristin asked opening the fridge and looking at nothing in particular. Idina closed the door gently and stood in front of Kristin, leaning against the fridge and holding her hands gently. “What’s wrong?”
Kristin looked at their entwined hands and wondered how something that she had been waiting for so long could end so quickly. “I think…” she began with hesitation, “I don’t think we should see each other any more.”
Idina’s mouth opened and closed, her eyes furrowing, “What?”
“I think it would be best if-“
“What are you saying? Why are you saying this?”
“It’s just…there’s too much-“
“Too much? Too much what?”
Kristin could hear the anger rising in Idina’s voice and felt the tears just behind her eyes threatening to fall down her cheeks. “It’s just-“
“Who got to you? It was Michelle wasn’t it?”
Kristin just nodded and flinched when Idina hit the fridge angrily with her open palm. “Dammit, Federer! What did she say?”
She took a shaky breath and tried to speak, “She said that being in a relationship could ruin the show. If we break up then everything will go to hell.”
“Fuckin’ Federer,” Idina said running a hand through her hair, “Don’t listen to her. She thinks she knows everything, but she doesn’t.”
“But, maybe she’s right,” Kristin said quietly.
Idina grabbed her shoulders, “No. She’s not right. Don’t listen to her.”
“She has a point.”
“A point? A point? What kind of fucking point could she possibly have?” Idina said, her grip growing tighter. Kristin winced but didn’t push Idina away.
“I’ll hurt you,” Kristin whispered.
“What?” Idina said.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“I can’t hear you-“
“I’ll hurt you!” Kristin yelled, tears finally falling from her eyes, “I’ll hurt you! I can’t be the person you need me to be!”
Idina dropped her hands from Kristin’s shoulders and began pacing. “What did I do? Things were going so well! I thought I was doing everything right! Fuck. Fuck!”
“Idina!” Kristin said grabbing her arm, “Stop pacing and listen to me.” Idina’s nostrils flared, her face flushed with anger as she bit the inside of her cheek.
“You’re engaged, Idina,” Kristin said as calmly as she could, “I think it’s better if we call this off now before anyone gets hurt and things get messy.”
“Bullshit!”
“Idina, please-“
“No! I’m not going to let you go that easily. I’ve…had feelings for you since we first met. I could never get you out of my mind. You haunted me, Kristin. The longer we worked together the more unbearable the feelings became, it was driving me insane. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. As cheesy romantic comedy as that all sounds it’s true! And now…now I finally have you and you want to leave me? I know you have feelings for me too, Kristin, you can’t deny that.”
The tears were falling freely from Idina’s eyes by now and Kristin held her face between her hands, wiping the tears with her thumbs. She lifted herself on her top toes so that she could press her forehead to Idina’s. “You’re right,” she said quietly, “I can’t deny that. But I’m not going to let you throw away a seven-year relationship on me. And I’m not going to let this jeopardize this show or anyone’s career over a love affair.”
“This is more than a love affair,” Idina whispered, “you can’t cheapen this to nothing more than an affair.”
Kristin sighed and shook her head, “You’re getting married in a couple of weeks, Idina. We can’t do this.”
“I want to do this-“
“Idina,” Kristin said a little more sternly, “I don’t wa-…I can’t do this anymore.” It was hard for Kristin to lie to Idina like that…but she knew that she had to. For her, for Idina, for the show.
“Kristin, please,” she managed to choke out. Kristin didn’t say anything, just kissed her lightly on the lips and stepped back form her, letting their hands touch for as long as possible before she turned away and walked into the bedroom. She heard a few sobs from the kitchen followed by the dragging of feet and the closing of the hotel door. Kristin closed her eyes and let the tears fall freely, knowing she would be regretting this for years to come.