i've been thinking...
Earlier this afternoon I was watching my Spring Show DVD from last year and as I watched each dance that had me or any of my close friends in it, I would start to smile... and then start crying. Like on the "Cats" dance (laura's squad) I was laughing so hard because the moves were hilarious, but I was crying so hard because I miss everyone who's not there this year. Mainly, every time I saw Adri I just bursted into tears. I really really really miss her. I mean, we were never even THAT close, but just seeing her during Tiger Dancers period everyday made me so happy. Her smile is irreplaceable. I've only seen her two or three times since graduation last year... that's sad. :(
So then I started to think about next year and all the friends I'm gonna leave behind... and all of my friends that will be going separate ways. Christa and Christina are going to San Antonio, Katy's going to College Station, Roxanne's going to Seguin and I'm going to Belton or maybe Houston. That sucks. I don't wanna have to start my whole friend circle over. I mean, not that anyone could ever replace you guys, but no one could even BEGIN to make up for your absence.
And to make matters worse, all I've been doing lately is waiting for high school to end. I need to stop that. I know that I'll regret it when I'm older. I mean, not that I'll miss the actual school part; I'll just miss having all my friends around. I think I'm going to start to appreciate the days I have left with my friends... cause I know I don't have much longer. I'm going to stop wishing my days away.
On the same note... I've been really torn lately about what I'm going to do after high school. My friends and I have debates over the pros and cons of each option: Community College or University? Here's the list so far:
Community College
-Pros: Room and board/food/clothing paid for (living with my aunt in houston), cheaper tuition, family there to help me when things suck
-Cons: I'd still be living with family instead of being on my own like you're SUPPOSED to be in college, I would have no social life, I'd never see Stephanie or ANY of my friends, and I'd be far away from Austin.
University
-Pros: Close to friends/family/austin, room with my best friend, being on my own, it's a really good school for my career
-Cons: there are lots of really stupid rules at this school, its really expensive
Yeah, so I don't know what I want to do yet. I'm so bad at making decisions! And when I do choose one way or the other, how will I know that it was the right decision? How does anyone ever know if it was the right decision?