repost (slightly different as I think I typed something additional before)

[thatmikeguy]

So I'm reading this book about Chechnya and the war there(which is kind of odd because I bought it like 2 days before the whole school hostage thing happened

Comments

you took it off. . . .

[joymattingly]

i've been thinking about that post on and off all day (in between working and worried bouts of my husband's temperature being 104.5, but i digress.) it's been a long stressful day. Friday is ending here and there, it is still early Friday morning, it blows my mind. I called my Mom seconds ago to get Mom advice and it struck me that she hadn't/hasn't lived her Friday yet. . . . isn't that wacko? neither here nor there. i love you and you're a beautiful person with amazing talent. i'm sure you hear that all the time and by the sound of your last post, i bet you wonder if it's really true. . . . you know what i think about whenever i think about you, your job, and how you love it *and* you get paid rather well. . . I always think how Amy used to say that she (with her big accounting bucks) was going to open up a soup kitchen and that you (a starving artist) could eat there and live in her basement. . . . life's funny, isn't it? the way we think it will go and then the way it actually does.

Re: you took it off. . . .

[thatmikeguy]

yeah... I was kind of in a keep stuff to myself mood last night, not sure why. I guess a lot of times I feel like I'm just bumming people out, and that some of those things just feel like they are more sincere when they stay internal... like I'm more likely to do something about them if I don't talk about them out loud.

I definitely don't feel like I am any less of a person... just that I wish I could get my shit together and help spread my good fortune to others. It is wild how things turned out, but I would love to follow in those proposed footsteps of Amy :) I think some of what I've got now is definitely due to my hard work and dedication, but I also think a lot of it is luck of the draw. I'd just like to redistribute some luck :)

p.s. you rock... and you know I love you and think you're a beautiful person with amazing talent too, but I'll say it as well :)

Re: you took it off. . . .

[lil_amysunshine]

I want you both to come live with me!! I'll even make you your own cottages so no one has to live in the basement! Oh the cookies we could cook. . .

I miss you guys and the old days when we all used to converge on your house on Irvin and I would make fudge or whatever and then I would step on a slug and squeal until Pat would come wipe the slim off my feet. And then we would all get cozy in teh living room and watch movies. Oh the laughter.

By the way Mike, one of my friends came over the other day and commented on your picture on my wall. He said, "Wow, that guy draws excellent butts!" I had to agree.

Re: you took it off. . . .

[thatmikeguy]

Indeed... I did enjoy the 314 Irvin days. goodness :) I miss fresh baked cookies too... gotta figure out how to do that shizzle vegan style ;)

that's funny about the butts. yesterday our concept artist for the game was drawing up some templates for character drawings for the game, and I corrected his butt shapes :)

Cheeky monkey!

[stephanova]

Before you removed this post, I read it and I was going to comment on it, but didn't really know what to say except, Thank You. I also wanted to say that you really should post from your other journal more often. I like reading about what you're thinking even if it has a touch of morose it, because that's just how life is. LiveJournal is wonderful because you can write whatever you want (no matter how depressing you think it is) and if people feel bummed out by it, they can stop reading it. It's that simple. I for one wasn't bummed out by what you wrote. I was happy to know that you too struggle with the guilt of being born into a position of privilege that allows you to take advantage of your skills and your work ethic more than a lot of people even get the chance too. I struggle with that every day, and honestly, I think it limits my ambition because I feel guilty about succeeding... but I didn't really realize that until I just wrote it and that's all your fault! (Thank you

Re: Cheeky monkey!

[joymattingly]

excellently put, steph. I want to thank you too, Miguel!

And look at that, Mike, we're going to have our very own cottages on the Happy Bunny Fluffy Farm! Dan and I were wanting to live on an organic farm. . . .

Re: Cheeky monkey!

[thatmikeguy]

HAPPY BUNNY FLUFF FARM!!!!!!!!

;)

Re: Cheeky monkey!

[thatmikeguy]

I like being called a cheeky monkey :)

Yeah, usually LJ is where I place the depressing stuff actually... my other journal is usually social frivolity. And I usually feel that way, about it being open for people to read or not read at their own discretion. I guess I was just feeling kind of introverted the other night, and this entry, along with my other more recent entry in my other journal were both kind of personal and I decided to remove them.

That being said, I think I was just in a mood (which doesn't happen to me in that way very often) and I'm going to repost it here. I'm glad it helped in some way, and I'm glad you told me :) I too feel like I limit my success because of my guilt, but interestingly I only limit my 'financial' success by not asking for what I should be getting paid... when what I should do is ask for it and give it to someone else ;)

Yah, I'll be there late thursday night, so I'll see everyone friday sometime I imagine (although I'd probably be up for going out late thursday if anyone else was).

:)