He knew the precise psychological moment when to say nothing.

[thatswhthesaid]

I wish I did.

I keep doing this thing where I've got great storylines, but I've no idea when I'm rambling. How much junk is too much? How jumpy-out of sequence is too jumpy and out of sequence? How much explanation is too much? For example, right now I'm working on, what I hope, will be a long term project. Four boys coming of age. They all live in

Comments

[drunkenmusician]

-Flip paragraphs two and three. I think it would flow better. Also, you tend to repeat things like “I,” like you were shuffling things around and editing and you just missed something

[thatswhthesaid]

-Yeah. I originally had them that way...And I'll go back and look at that.
-Yeah, that grammar probably needs editing. And I'm pretty sure the semi-colon is *technically* correct, but upon rereading I realize that it seems wonky, stylistically. Really, I just need to read this thing aloud, but finding a moment when I'm alone to do that is very hard.
-I was trying to be a "teenage-slang-but-with-someone-who-speaks-proper-English-mostly" but I see how that could be failure to do that and instead just look wrong.
-Awww. Thanks. <3 I was also hoping that implied that Benjamin (Who may be renamed Thomas) knows Charlie really well