Title: Whoever You Are (or: 5 Paragraphs Based On An Extra X Chromosome)
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 554 words
Warning: Major Character Death
Summary: Gender has nothing to do with it.
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1.
The actress that is to play the angel Castiel is a woman by the name of Misha Collins, and Jensen doesn’t understand her at all. Once, while they were on set, she held the door open for Jared in a way that his mother would have adored had she been a man, and then pinched his ass as he walked through. For Jared, that was all that was needed to break the ice, but Jensen is still forever confused by the mix of delicate feminism and chauvinist pig that makes up her personality. The fans adore her, though, and she adores them back; a role-model for women of all ages, with her fake angelic credentials and her genuine smile.
2.
Dean is bemused by the angel who has saved him from perdition. She looks like a woman - she has an ample bosom and is kinda beautiful if you look at her from the right angle, but she acts like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes are too wide and she stares at chairs like they’re the most fascinating thing in the world, but glares at men like the apocalypse is their fault, even though Dean is pretty sure only one man is directly responsible for that. She is not at all a woman he would flirt with at a bar, let alone one he would fall in love with - but when it happens, he can't bring himself to be at all surprised.
3.
Castiel knows that in seven different universes, the vessel he currently inhabits is physically male. This is an anomaly, because despite the many differences there are between one universe and the next, gender is mostly the same. However, Jamie Novak has always been different, and Castiel doesn’t begrudge her for any of it, regardless of what human priests said about the subject.
(Castiel also observes that the Dean and Castiels of all the universes end up in the same situation, regardless of what gender their vessels are. There is always the same burning feeling where their hearts are supposed to be, the same looks that last a little too long, the same bittersweet story that ends too soon.)
4.
Jamie Novak had a job at a library and a piggy bank that would never be full. The piggy bank is for a sex reassignment surgery that will never happen. Claire always puts half of her allowance in the piggy bank and Jamie loves his daughter all the more for it, but he tells her that it doesn’t matter. He is already male, and always has been. It doesn't matter who acknowledges it and who doesn't, all the people that matter already do.
5.
Castiel dies for Dean, and in her very soul, she has always known that was how it was going to be. Before she goes, she holds Jamie Novak close, covers his soul with the brightness of her very being, and when she is snuffed out of existence, Jamie is still there - safe and thankful and bitter and happy and all the emotions Castiel had learned to feel in her short time on Earth.
Whe Dean finds out, Jamie is there to hold Dean Winchester’s hand as he shouts and rages in frustration and heartbreak, broken into a thousand pieces that will never be quite repaired. His brother clutches at him from behind, holding him up and keeping him steady.
Jamie watches and keeps holding on. He is broken, but he is not alone.