There might be a reasonable explanation for this. That's what I have to keep on telling myself today. There's a folder in my hands, heavy, the surface of the paper smooth under my fingers, but the corner's already dog-eared from all the times I had to open it and rifle through the contents. People on the island receive little gifts from home pretty often, usually something that makes them stop and think. Something to remind them that the island hasn't always been home. But, you know, it's not the kind of thing you expect until it comes. And mine arrived in a neat little folder next to my pillow, Bill's neat script on the notes inside. It's all... a collection of memories, I guess. Clipped articles from when I was a kid and competed in all the spelling bees, pictures of me during my shifts at Merlotte's. Family tree with some people marked, including myself. Even the contact information for the Rattrays
( ... )
It's Flo, who sees her first. Her face lights up, splits open in a grin, two rows of tiny, baby teeth and dimples. Then Mack sees her and runs forward, shouting happily, "Sookie!"
I look to her then, and immediately know something's wrong. But I don't say anything, at first. I just wait for the girls to say their hellos. It's best to just let 'em get it out of their systems.
Honestly, I'm expecting it when I hear Mack's voice calling out from a distance, and I crouch on down and watch as the two run on over, fairy wings bouncing and flapping with the movement. I can't help but laugh, really, even though my mind's so dang full of thoughts that I can't keep any of them straight. Still, I'm nothing but glad to see them. Hopefully they realize that.
"Mack! Flo!" I greet, hoping that I've remembered the order of their names right. I try to switch off, now and again. Probably me just overthinking things, but I don't want one of them to think that I'm playing favorites, or that I can't tell the difference between the two of them. Mack reaches me first today, so I let myself relax a little- even if I've got the order off, at least I can say that she got to me first. "I swear, you two just get prettier and prettier every time I see you. C'mon, give Sookie a kiss and show me those lovely wings you've got."
Haven't looked Neil in the eye yet. Maybe because I know that he'll see right through me when I do.
They both kiss her at the same time, sloppily on each cheek, and then Mack spins around so Sookie can get a better look at the wings she's wearing, green with a swirling pattern on them in glitter.
"They're not butterfly wings. They're fairy wings. But we're catching butterflies," Mack says, then her sister adds, "The fairies aren't big enough to catch with a net."
I snort out a laugh, 'cause that's not something I've told them, but I did say that there are all types of people here, aliens and witches and ghosts and there's no way of knowing there aren't fairies, too.
"I don't know what they think they're gonna do with 'em, when they catch 'em, but they haven't quit talkin' 'bout it for days," I say, and I notice she hasn't looked at me yet. That alone speaks as loudly as anything else she might've done.
"I also hear that fairies get real mad when you do, too," I point out to both girls, waiting until they've both planted kisses on my cheeks before I nuzzle them in turn, leaving a peck for one, then the other, holding them both close. "So probably best not to make them mad, especially if you're ever planning on having your wishes granted." Nodding as though I'm a veritable expert on all things fairy, I tap both of them on the nose and laugh as Mack spins around, faster and faster, like she's expecting herself to lift right off the ground
( ... )
Mack and Flo listen to her every word, their eyes wide, like she's speaking some kind of great wisdom I couldn't possibly pass on to them. My lips twitch into a grin, reaching out to push Mack upright when she teeters over to one side.
"Yeah, let's start pinnin' bug corpses to the walls," I snort, dropping into a crouch at Sookie's side while Mack and Flo run off with promises to bring back flowers.
"Stay close," I remind them, huffing out a laugh when all three dogs follow after them. Three canine guardians of various size.
Turning to Sookie, I arch a brow and ask, "What's goin' on?"
It's almost a relief once the girls are out of range, though the guilt hits me in the center of my chest right after. How can I even begin to think of that as a relief? The last thing I should want is for either of them to leave. The last thing I should want is to be alone right now, when I've just lost a great deal, and every minute feels like it risks my losing more, somehow. But the thoughts keep on buzzing around my head, and whether or not they're all my own, I still find myself feeling the impulse to find a clear space. A silent space. Just to breathe and let it all go.
But Neil's just about the next best thing.
"Rahne disappeared," I explain first with an exhale, feeling my eyes grow warm, though I stubbornly blink everything back. "Rahne disappeared, and... and I received a package from home this morning that has my head turnin' in circles, and lord, I can deal with a great deal if I have to, but having it all come down at once is getting to me a bit much."
"Shit," I murmur, voice pitched low so the girls can't hear. I didn't know Rahne, really, but I've seen her around, and I know how important she was to her and her other friends.
"Always seems to come all at once, huh?" I say, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. If this place was fair, it'd at least space shit out, give us time to deal with it. But this place isn't fair. Then again, neither were the places most of us came from.
I can't finish that statement. I should. There's a whole lot of me that wants to. It isn't even that big of a deal. Because... well, I've lost so much more back in Bon Temps that it seems silly to try to compare it to what happened here. Isn't it? Rahne's just gone back to her own world, she's tough enough that I can- I have to- believe that she'll make her way around there just fine. It's not like losing gran. Losing Dawn. It's not like any of that, and as far as things that vampires have done to me go, it's not like a folder's especially unusual. It's not like a folder's worthy of me falling right apart.
So instead, I just quiet down and let him finish brushing my hair behind my ear, gaze falling to the ground again. "It was a folder of Bill's," I say quietly with a shrug. "All this stuff about me that I guess he must have tracked down over time."
I don't know a goddamn thing about this guy, beyond the fact that she loved him, but that sounds really fuckin'... creepy.
Nearby, Mack and Flo are busy gathering up tiny flowers, plucking off the petals and tossing them into each other's hair, and generally making an adorable nuisance of themselves. I'm grateful for that. For the fact that they're not really around to listen.
"It never gets easier, losin' folks, and it sure as hell never gets easier, findin' this... bullshit the island leaves for us."
"He had a folder," I nod, more glad than I can describe that Neil immediately seems to get it, immediately seems to understand that it's not something that I can just be calm about. I know that once you love someone, all you ever want to do is learn more about them, know the things that make them happy, learn about the things that make them sad. I understand that more than anyone can know, being as nosy as I am, and with the way that I used to be able to find all of it out at just a touch. Though it was, in its own way, a curse at best, there were advantages that came with telepathy.
And if a breach of privacy makes me nervous in spite of all of that, you know that it's gotta be pretty major
( ... )
"Nothin'. It doesn't mean anything, Sook. It's just a folder. Whatever the hell else it might mean, you might not ever know, you know?"
Or she won't know until the island lets her, and honestly, I'm sick and tired of this goddamn place holding so much power over us.
"I just... I'm never gonna understand why this place takes us away from home, only to throw all this shit at us, so we don't forget all the little things from back there that we can't change. It's pointless."
"Is it?" I ask. Not that I'm really trying to argue against Neil, but... heck, it sure feels like there's someone or something pulling us around on strings, dropping crap down to us whenever it feels like it, and I can't really tell if it's to teach us some sort of valuable lesson, or if it's just someone with a cruel sense of how to run an island. All I know is that none of it feels random. When people show up on this island, it's like you're always waiting for their story, waiting to see if they've got loved ones around, waiting to see if their loved ones appear.
"I mean, sure, the island brings around a lot of stuff we can't ever figure out. It also brings us people from home, though. And sometimes... I don't know, maybe it's tryin' to show me something about Bill that I should've noticed earlier on my own. Or maybe it's just trying to eff with me."
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I look to her then, and immediately know something's wrong. But I don't say anything, at first. I just wait for the girls to say their hellos. It's best to just let 'em get it out of their systems.
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"Mack! Flo!" I greet, hoping that I've remembered the order of their names right. I try to switch off, now and again. Probably me just overthinking things, but I don't want one of them to think that I'm playing favorites, or that I can't tell the difference between the two of them. Mack reaches me first today, so I let myself relax a little- even if I've got the order off, at least I can say that she got to me first. "I swear, you two just get prettier and prettier every time I see you. C'mon, give Sookie a kiss and show me those lovely wings you've got."
Haven't looked Neil in the eye yet. Maybe because I know that he'll see right through me when I do.
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"They're not butterfly wings. They're fairy wings. But we're catching butterflies," Mack says, then her sister adds, "The fairies aren't big enough to catch with a net."
I snort out a laugh, 'cause that's not something I've told them, but I did say that there are all types of people here, aliens and witches and ghosts and there's no way of knowing there aren't fairies, too.
"I don't know what they think they're gonna do with 'em, when they catch 'em, but they haven't quit talkin' 'bout it for days," I say, and I notice she hasn't looked at me yet. That alone speaks as loudly as anything else she might've done.
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"Yeah, let's start pinnin' bug corpses to the walls," I snort, dropping into a crouch at Sookie's side while Mack and Flo run off with promises to bring back flowers.
"Stay close," I remind them, huffing out a laugh when all three dogs follow after them. Three canine guardians of various size.
Turning to Sookie, I arch a brow and ask, "What's goin' on?"
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But Neil's just about the next best thing.
"Rahne disappeared," I explain first with an exhale, feeling my eyes grow warm, though I stubbornly blink everything back. "Rahne disappeared, and... and I received a package from home this morning that has my head turnin' in circles, and lord, I can deal with a great deal if I have to, but having it all come down at once is getting to me a bit much."
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"Always seems to come all at once, huh?" I say, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. If this place was fair, it'd at least space shit out, give us time to deal with it. But this place isn't fair. Then again, neither were the places most of us came from.
"What was the package?"
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I can't finish that statement. I should. There's a whole lot of me that wants to. It isn't even that big of a deal. Because... well, I've lost so much more back in Bon Temps that it seems silly to try to compare it to what happened here. Isn't it? Rahne's just gone back to her own world, she's tough enough that I can- I have to- believe that she'll make her way around there just fine. It's not like losing gran. Losing Dawn. It's not like any of that, and as far as things that vampires have done to me go, it's not like a folder's especially unusual. It's not like a folder's worthy of me falling right apart.
So instead, I just quiet down and let him finish brushing my hair behind my ear, gaze falling to the ground again. "It was a folder of Bill's," I say quietly with a shrug. "All this stuff about me that I guess he must have tracked down over time."
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I don't know a goddamn thing about this guy, beyond the fact that she loved him, but that sounds really fuckin'... creepy.
Nearby, Mack and Flo are busy gathering up tiny flowers, plucking off the petals and tossing them into each other's hair, and generally making an adorable nuisance of themselves. I'm grateful for that. For the fact that they're not really around to listen.
"It never gets easier, losin' folks, and it sure as hell never gets easier, findin' this... bullshit the island leaves for us."
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And if a breach of privacy makes me nervous in spite of all of that, you know that it's gotta be pretty major ( ... )
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Or she won't know until the island lets her, and honestly, I'm sick and tired of this goddamn place holding so much power over us.
"I just... I'm never gonna understand why this place takes us away from home, only to throw all this shit at us, so we don't forget all the little things from back there that we can't change. It's pointless."
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"I mean, sure, the island brings around a lot of stuff we can't ever figure out. It also brings us people from home, though. And sometimes... I don't know, maybe it's tryin' to show me something about Bill that I should've noticed earlier on my own. Or maybe it's just trying to eff with me."
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