IV: Bride of Chucker | [Voice | Action]
[Mike is... better than he was. The events of the AU were like the best dream he'd ever had, and waking up to harsh reality was all the more painful this time because everyone else remembered the dream too. It was like being stripped bare in no way he'd ever experienced, nudist that he is, and he doesn't like it one bit.
she knows
After thinking ( Read more... )
she knows
After thinking ( Read more... )
Ah, certainly, Mike.
... It's... an interesting process, actually. Would... would you prefer a demonstration, or...? [He doesn't know how eager Mike is to have him around at the moment or ever and frankly, things seem less awkward at a respectable distance anyway.]
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... The first thing I did after getting Don treatment was record everything I r-remembered. [Which was, quite frankly, a lot. Much of the information is significantly detailed, as well.]
... A-and I have yet to forget much of the memories, including things outside of the ten-day span of the... actual experiment. I am told that I am an oddity in that r-regard.
[Robert swallows down some bile at that particular doodle. He doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that he could be violent.
He begins drawing as well, an overly-precise but scattered-looking diagram... It's the tiny remnants of Daisy's MJOLNIR suit blueprints that he remembers. (He has a clearer picture of them in his post-experiment notes.)]
... Th-they... h-have... given me m-much to think about.
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[Like how on earth he convinced Ami to marry him. That might have been useful to remember.]
Hey, what's that? [It looks cool.]
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... But it might not bother you. [The tone isn't accusatory, just... faraway and a little sad.]
... A-And this is what I remember of the prototype mining suit I constructed for Ms. Daisy. Or rather, what I thought was a prototype mining suit...
... [He makes a bitter, mirthless little noise that might almost be a laugh.] To think that I thought I had made this with Don's help.
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[And that's all he'll ever admit to you.]
So what is it really, then?
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... Terrifying. [The most terrifying part is that Robert thinks he might actually be almost barely beginning to understand violence.]
... And... it is a... h-highly dangerous weaponized set of w-war armour, from what I could see.
...
I-I don't think it was nearly so dangerous when I built it in that falsehood world, but... but... i-it could still kill.
[So much horror in Robert's voice. Though it's the quiet, cold sort of horror.]
... I... I was friends with Ms. Daisy there. Very close friends. Violence was... a part of that f-falsehood's life...
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[What?]
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The fact I could hurt somebody. Willingly.
That's... [It's one of the central tenets of Terran dogma, and Robert had it essentially ripped out of him for awhile.]
... I even wanted to hurt Helios at one point, because... [Robert trails off awkwardly. He's not sure if he should relate this particular story.] ... Well, I was threatened physically.
... B-But that isn't a justification...
[Even if Don and Helios both insisted it was.]
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... It... was... d-during that f-falsehood only.
[Whelp, he's going to have to explain it now.]
I-I... presume that during that time Helios was... n-not very enamoured of the closeness I had with Giles...
He, er, a-attempted to kill me due to... this reason. O-or perhaps something... else. [Something awkward that Robert would rather not mention unless he has to.] I am... n-not truly certain anymore. In fact, I am n-not sure if that other self was aware.
... A-Afterwards he expressed m-much regret for how it had g-gone and... a-and tried to apologize... he would never d-do that sort of behaviour now.
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[He doesn't wanna know.]
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[Robert shakes his head slightly, his voice a little trembly still.]
... R-Regardless, I should never have wished to cause i-injury to him, or anyone. For any reason.
[Do you hear the shame in Robert's voice, Mike?]
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[Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.]
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... That's wh-what Don told me, but I don't understand.
[Robert can finally put words to his taboos now, after four months. So he says them.]
All m-my life, I've... always thought that violence was despicable, for any reason... I-I was always taught that anybody who c-could fight at all was a barbarian, could only ever be cruel and abominable...
...
... Th-the second part... d-doesn't seem to be true here. Because... because I've m-met many people who... w-who somehow can fight and still, still are good people...
[It goes against everything Robert was ever told, everything Robert was ever taught, everything Robert's society ever dictated. And it confuses and frightens him because he cares deeply about these people, loves one of them almost obsessively now... and yet he can't understand this. He can't understand how that works.]
...
I-I... I don't understand how, but... but.
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...
I-It's just... difficult.
[Robert has never had this concept before. For him, standing by is the only way to deal with violent conflict. Martyr yourself rather than fight back. Don't hurt anybody because that would be stooping to that hideous level.]
... I... d-don't understand how that works...
... Is this like the... "Principle of Least Harm" that Don told me about?
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