A very, very Wildly Inappropriate!Brooke for Barney (barnacle_the)
[For the amazing
barnacle_the . Brooke is very naughty and semi-evil, and I apologize on her behalf, as well as on my behalf if any butchering was done with poor Barney Stinson. I hope you enjoy, and expect Jealous!Brooke sometime in the future, 'cause I have an idea rolling around there. BTW, there Billy (
nottome ) cameos via text, because he just has to. <3]
It was what Brooke Davis (and a slightly disgusted Billy Hollister) referred to as "The Car Trick."
Despite the innumerable advantages on the receiving end of the Car Trick, there was one downside to waiting patiently in the backseat of a car with a serious lack of clothing.
It was cold.
But she was no fool. She made sure to take the necessary precautions. Fuzzy, pink socks covered her feet. White mittens warmed her hands. And that was the extent of the clothing that Brooke Davis was wearing in the backseat of Barney Stinson's car.
It was a callback to her slutty cheerleader days, when her method of welcoming new basketball players was changing out of her uniform in the back of their cars. It had served her well then, and it was going to serve her well now.
She'd been texting Billy concerning Barney's whereabouts. And his last text ("Do I even want to know why you're being a stalker?") was answered with an obvious "No." She'd spent quite a bit of time orchestrating her little play, and if she was right, Barney was late.
She'd placed her black dress and underwear on the seat beside her, and shivered a little in the cold air of the car. Her eyes flickered to the driver's side window, where through the dark glass revealed a suited Barney approaching the car.
The door opened, and she sat contently with her knees in front of her. She smiled a little when she met his eyes in the rear-view mirror, and was a little relieved at how subtle his jump of fright was.
"Whoa...Hi?" He muttered, staring at her in blank amazement through the mirror.
"Well hello, Mr. Stinson."
"Is...this is a really, really sexy carjacking?"
She smiled. "I figured you needed to know what was behind the fashion diva persona. Or former. Plus, I've been dying to bring this baby out of retirement."
Barney put a hand on the mirror, slowly adjusting it to see his naked visitor better.
"Like what you see?"
"Very."
"And?"
"Are those mittens?" He cocked his head with a cute little confused smile. His eyes left the mirror and half-turned around to get a look at a devlishly smiling Brooke, who looked at each of her mittens and fuzzy socks and shrugged, as if the explanation were obvious. Barney couldn't help but continue. "And...we're still talking because...?"
"Because..." Brooke began, slyly grabbing her underwear and slipping it on, bending over behind his seat to slip on her dress. "...You've got to earn it, that's why." She shrugged on a strap of the dress, tilting her head and leaning in close until their faces were but inches apart. "I just felt like being really inappropriate."
"Beautiful, have I ever told you you're amazing?"
She smiled and shrugged coyly. She did not forget the most crucial element to this traditional welcoming. She lightly slipped a leopard printed bra on his right shoulder, grinning coquettishly.
"Sweet dreams," she whispered before kissing him on the cheek, straightening her dress, and exiting the car.
She didn't look back, no matter how much she wanted to look back for his reaction.
Her phone beeped, and she checked her text.
Billy: [Why do I feel like you're doing something really, really inappropriate right now?]
Brooke couldn't help but smirk to herself, and made a mental note to get that bra back, and thank Billy later.
barnacle_the . Brooke is very naughty and semi-evil, and I apologize on her behalf, as well as on my behalf if any butchering was done with poor Barney Stinson. I hope you enjoy, and expect Jealous!Brooke sometime in the future, 'cause I have an idea rolling around there. BTW, there Billy (
nottome ) cameos via text, because he just has to. <3]
It was what Brooke Davis (and a slightly disgusted Billy Hollister) referred to as "The Car Trick."
Despite the innumerable advantages on the receiving end of the Car Trick, there was one downside to waiting patiently in the backseat of a car with a serious lack of clothing.
It was cold.
But she was no fool. She made sure to take the necessary precautions. Fuzzy, pink socks covered her feet. White mittens warmed her hands. And that was the extent of the clothing that Brooke Davis was wearing in the backseat of Barney Stinson's car.
It was a callback to her slutty cheerleader days, when her method of welcoming new basketball players was changing out of her uniform in the back of their cars. It had served her well then, and it was going to serve her well now.
She'd been texting Billy concerning Barney's whereabouts. And his last text ("Do I even want to know why you're being a stalker?") was answered with an obvious "No." She'd spent quite a bit of time orchestrating her little play, and if she was right, Barney was late.
She'd placed her black dress and underwear on the seat beside her, and shivered a little in the cold air of the car. Her eyes flickered to the driver's side window, where through the dark glass revealed a suited Barney approaching the car.
The door opened, and she sat contently with her knees in front of her. She smiled a little when she met his eyes in the rear-view mirror, and was a little relieved at how subtle his jump of fright was.
"Whoa...Hi?" He muttered, staring at her in blank amazement through the mirror.
"Well hello, Mr. Stinson."
"Is...this is a really, really sexy carjacking?"
She smiled. "I figured you needed to know what was behind the fashion diva persona. Or former. Plus, I've been dying to bring this baby out of retirement."
Barney put a hand on the mirror, slowly adjusting it to see his naked visitor better.
"Like what you see?"
"Very."
"And?"
"Are those mittens?" He cocked his head with a cute little confused smile. His eyes left the mirror and half-turned around to get a look at a devlishly smiling Brooke, who looked at each of her mittens and fuzzy socks and shrugged, as if the explanation were obvious. Barney couldn't help but continue. "And...we're still talking because...?"
"Because..." Brooke began, slyly grabbing her underwear and slipping it on, bending over behind his seat to slip on her dress. "...You've got to earn it, that's why." She shrugged on a strap of the dress, tilting her head and leaning in close until their faces were but inches apart. "I just felt like being really inappropriate."
"Beautiful, have I ever told you you're amazing?"
She smiled and shrugged coyly. She did not forget the most crucial element to this traditional welcoming. She lightly slipped a leopard printed bra on his right shoulder, grinning coquettishly.
"Sweet dreams," she whispered before kissing him on the cheek, straightening her dress, and exiting the car.
She didn't look back, no matter how much she wanted to look back for his reaction.
Her phone beeped, and she checked her text.
Billy: [Why do I feel like you're doing something really, really inappropriate right now?]
Brooke couldn't help but smirk to herself, and made a mental note to get that bra back, and thank Billy later.