Final Fantasy XVI fic, Chasing the Forgotten 4 (Expose)
title: Chasing the Forgotten
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Dion/Joshua
rating: E
summary: Having been born the Phoenix meant Joshua was destined to be by Bahamut’s side as his consort.
He didn’t know what he was expecting, but certainly not the situation he found himself in.
Omegaverse AU.
words: 3930
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy XVI belongs to Square Enix.
Chapter 4: Expose
On a resounding round of applause did the curtain finally fell on the stage, the lights all around flared brightly to life, and the audience began the slow exodus out of the theatre proper.
Having already stood in their box seats to give the performers their due, Lords Margrace and Lamont turned towards the exit, with the latter offering his arm to the former as they made their way out.
Amidst the height of emotion elicited by the play, the Phoenix’s happy trilling at the company was contagious, spreading to a pleasant hum that reverberated throughout Joshua’s body. His hand was curled upon Lamont’s elbow, and they strolled at leisure out of their private box at the Theatre Imperiale, minds still digesting the show that had just finished.
“So, Lord Margrace,” began Lamont as they stepped out among the throng of leaving theatre-goers, “will you grace me with your thoughts on the performance?”
Joshua took a deep breath, a wrinkle in his nose as he thought. “The performers themselves were amazing,” began he, “The set design and costumes utterly beautiful and conveyed the astounding atmosphere required of the story. Though of the story itself…there is something rather unsatisfying about it.”
Lamont hummed. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” said Joshua, bumping his hip playfully against the other man as he continued, “I noticed that this is director Primus Tabithe’s third work in The Last Dream series where he went with his signature ending of killing the main character off.”
“I must admit I am not familiar with his work.”
“It seems to be his usual forte of storytelling.”
“And you find it unsatisfying?”
“I do feel there are better ways of inciting pathos from the audience other than killing off the main character. It always comes down to a sacrifice they must make and they lose their lives over it. Other directors and writers have had much success with a different approach.”
“Ah, but then it wouldn’t be called a Primus Tabithe work, now would it?”
Joshua huffed out a laugh. “No, I suppose not.”
Lamont’s eyes twinkled with fondness and adoration as he watched Joshua with his mirth.
Feeling self-conscious, the ginger’s cheeks warmed with a pink hue and his blue eyes strayed from his companion’s gaze. “What is it?”
Lamont lifted his other hand to squeeze the hand at his elbow. “Thank you for agreeing to my company.”
Joshua found himself clutching said elbow, exerting a bit of self-control to keep himself from running his hand up to feel at his bicep. “The pleasure is mine.”
There was a pause in their steps at the top of the stairs, the crowd they were following having come to a standstill. At the base of the stairs was an impromptu play of a young inebriated nobleman harassing theatre staff members.
“Do you not know who I am? Who you’re addressing?” Though his words were slurred, still it projected loud and clear among the mass of unintended spectators.
“My Lord, please, the-” One of the unfortunate staff tried to reason, but it was futile-there was no reasoning with someone lost to their drink.
“I am the Emperor’s brother-in-law. I could have him behead you for this. Who do you think you are?”
“Please, my Lord-”
“Don’t you ‘m’Lord’ me. Where’s the guards? Seize this scoundrel. He dared to address his superior like an equal.”
Beside Joshua, he heard a low growl coming from Lamont, the displeased look on his face mirrored that of the rest of the crowd. This was not the first time a member of House Branford tried to throw their weight around. With their family’s sudden rise to power and wealth when Terence Branford was promoted as the Shining Concubine, they had gone on to coerce their way into various industries and companies, forcing their way into the higher aristocratic groups with the leeway given to them by having a member of their House in such a lofty standing in the Emperor’s regard. Joshua had observed such acts from the family around Oriflamme over the years that he had been masquerading as Margrace and even on occasion at court as the Consort, and as with others who had witnessed such uncouth displays, had been resigned to simply let them act as they would on account of the one who backed them. One could only presume that the Emperor and the Concubine’s relationship was truly strong that House Branford could nigh get away with anything and everything uncontested.
But the figure beside Joshua was uncommonly tense, that there seemed to be something deeper in the displeasure separate from the feelings of the rest of the crowd. And the telltale sensation of aether suddenly gathering to converge on Lamont was so familiar that Joshua couldn’t help but gasp, feeling shaken deep in his heart. Questions of why, how, why now fought and entangled inside his mind and brought tears to his eyes. But the threat of that aether had him grasping tightly with both hands on Lamont’s arm. “Not here,” whispered Joshua in warning.
Lamont turned to him, and there was a ring of golden-brown that pushed at the blue colour in his iris, blond roots appearing in his silver hair.
“This is not the place.” Joshua’s own cerulean orbs roved over Lamont’s face, seeing in them the traces of Emperor Bahamut’s features that he had never noticed before. And he couldn’t help feeling as though he was betrayed. But then it would explain the Phoenix’s excitement and enthusiasm; for however much the firebird held anger and frustration for the situation of having to keep apart from his spouse, it was but a small dying star in the expansive universe of their multitude of lifetimes together.
Those who weren’t sensitive to it could not feel the aether themselves, but it was still a relief to sense it dissipate. They couldn’t have Bahamut suddenly manifesting in the crowd; it would cause quite the chaos, riot, and likely destruction. In finding a potential crisis averted, Joshua now had space to give into his irk, and he tried to retrieve his hand from Lamont’s arm, but the latter stubbornly held him in place. In retaliation, the ginger pinched at him and even stomped a booted heel onto his foot, but other than a mild grunt, Lamont refused to release him.
“This is not the place,” said Lamont, throwing Joshua’s words back at him.
The ginger seethed. “Shouldn’t you join your in-law down there?” he whispered scathingly. “He’s invoking you.”
“Rest assured, my beloved-”
Joshua hissed, and proceeded to dig his heel harder on Dion’s shoe, earning him a pained grunt.
“-They will receive their requital.”
“They?” scoffed Joshua, not relenting on his step, relishing the sight of the disguised emperor’s furrowed brow and muscle ticking in his jaw as reaction to the pain he was inflicting.
“They’ve been allowed to roam free for long enough.”
“And who allowed them to flourish so?”
At that, Lamont had the sense of decency to look contrite.
“Is it not for the love of your favourite?” continued Joshua, suddenly feeling that what he had locked away all those years ago threatened to burst out of their prison inside him. He was beset with the fervent desire to not want to be here. Away. He tried to move, to turn back, to be released from the unerring grip that held him in place.
Why, how, why now was a litany that played inside his mind. Before he could bite his lips, words burst out of him, “All my life I’ve lived with the cage of destiny of having the Phoenix live inside me. All the expectations that came with having such a role; the heaviness of all the duty that that entails. And the thought that somewhere out there, there was someone like me, experiencing the same suffocation. And the love that Phoenix has for Bahamut, all those histories and lifetimes, were so overwhelming. But so magical. So wonderful. That I couldn’t wait to feel the same for you. For surely you would have felt that way too?”
Lamont swallowed. “Joshua, I-”
“But I was naïve,” interrupted the ginger, pressing on, unwilling to hear what the emperor had to say. “My feelings are my own, and they have nothing to do with you as you are. They were about a dream of you that was never real. A figment of memory that isn’t even mine.”
Joshua’s foot had gone slack, the fight having gone out of him as he stepped back. Lamont still held him fast, unwilling to let go.
“And now here you are. The oath is still in place. Why, then, are you chasing after the forgotten?”
Dion’s mind reeled. All those years ago where his duty and his destiny were hammered to him over and over, the Phoenix and Joshua Rosfield were merely names, abstract concepts; they did exist, but not having seen them in person, not having met them, to Dion they haven’t been given form and thus didn’t seem real. They had been, at least back then, part of a far-flung future that was removed from his present. What was in his presence during that time was Terence, who had offered to fill that unbearable gaping void of loneliness. But to no avail. That emptiness persisted with a human’s fleeting concept of love. And years later, when the wedding finally took place…just that one night made Dion realize that nobody could ever measure up to what the Phoenix and Joshua truly meant to what he was as a person, as the shell that housed Bahamut. That he and Joshua truly were made to be with each other, meant to be together. Suffused as he was with the weight of all he felt, Dion could only say, “There’s nothing about you that’s forgettable,” every word heavy and significant.
“Eh, who’s been blabbering over there?!” came an exclamation from the landing below, the Branford lord’s attention diverted to them. “I’m talking here. Who do you think you are? You’re nothing, that’s what. I’m related to the Emperor. And with one word from me, the Emperor will have your heads, do you hear?”
Gazes still locked together as though the rest of the world had fallen away, there was a traitorous part of Joshua that badly wanted to know what the disguised emperor meant. And so he sought, the golden-brown orbs that met his blue were fierce in their hope. But the commotion of the crowd being pushed around by the obnoxious young Lord Branford as he made his way to them broke the charged moment between them.
“I’m talking to you, you ugly tart! Who do you think you are, huh? Who said you could speak while I’m talking?”
The momentum of his advance propelled him forcefully into Joshua that he actually managed to shove him off from Lamont’s hold, the redhead’s back smacking against the wall.
Lamont grew livid, his hand landing on the shoulder of young Lord Branford. “You have crossed the line,” he growled.
“Unhand me, you rascal!” Lord Branford rolled his shoulder to dislodge the hand, his other arm flailing around haphazardly and managing to knock the hat and wig from Joshua’s head.
There was a collective gasp of surprise all around as Lord Margrace was unmasked.
“Blimey!” blurted out Lord Branford with spittle flying all around, pointing at Joshua. “You’re the Consort Phoenix!” Then he turned to Lord Lamont, mouth gaping open. “And you’re fraternizing with another man!” He turned to the crowd. “You all saw them, right? That’s treason, that is!” He laughed. “My brother-in-law will have both your heads for this.” And then almost to himself, “And now nothing will stand in my brother the Concubine’s way.”
The murmurs of the scandal of the century was spreading around and growing in volume.
Lamont looked to Joshua, who was minutely shaking his head at him at the touch of aether in the air. Not here, the ginger mouthed. But Dion could stay himself no longer. He would not allow his Consort to be treated in such a manner, to be perceived in such a way. In a bright burst of light, wings sprouted from his back-the span of them scraping against the ornate columns, walls, and the ceiling, and even brushing the crowd away with a great gust of wind and aether. Veins of golden aether glowed over his skin, horns protruded over his head, and the silver of his hair faded back to gold as he made his way to where Joshua leaned against the wall, picking up the dislodged wig and hat on the way.
The startled crowd quickly recognized just who now stood before them and collectively fell to their knees, a susurration of “Your Radiance” and “Your Majesty” chorusing all around.
“If anyone is to be losing their head,” said the Emperor Bahamut in a distorted voice, brushing the dust off of the hat and disentangling it from the now-tangled wig, and tenderly placed it on Joshua’s pinned-up curls, then gave an airy sidelong glance to the figure now cowering on the ground, “it is you, Sir Trevor of House Branford.”
“Your Radiance, I beg for your mercy. I didn’t know…please…”
“No mercy shall be given to any who dared lay a hand upon the Consort Phoenix,” he said bitingly, sending a signal to the shadow guard that had been tailing him, who then immediately went forth to call for the city guards.
The young Lord Branford tried to rise from his position on the floor, yelping in pain as Dion pinned him to the ground with one of his wing spikes.
“You were not given leave to rise, Sir Trevor of House Branford,” proclaimed the Emperor.
“Your Radiance, for the love you hold for my brother, you must show me mercy.”
The crowd around expressed mutters of further disapproval for the scoundrel.
“-How audacious-”
“-So entitled even now as to make demands of the Emperor-”
“-Love for the Concubine, indeed, when the Emperor is here with the Consort-”
“-This Branford lot is really too much-”
“-Hear, hear-”
The crowd parted when the guards finally arrived, who were initially surprised at finding their Emperor semi-primed with the Consort, but not forgetting to salute and pay their respects to their lieges. Dion released his spike from the prone figure, who was immediately put in chains and herded away to be detained in the imperial gaol, shouting for mercy all the while.
Through the path that had opened up before them did the Emperor and Consort leave, stopping before the staff to inform them that reparations to any damages caused by the Emperor’s transformation would be handled by the crown, and an imperial official would arrive on the morrow to oversee the work.
The audience and staff followed them at a respectful distance outside, and Dion assisted Joshua into the carriage before he de-primed and got on himself, and in tense silence did they begin their travel back to the palace.
Joshua had been feeling shaken the entire time - from the awful behaviour of that Branford family member, from the reveal of not just himself to the populace but also of Lamont’s true identity, and from all the words that had burst out of Joshua earlier, unable to stopper them as they barraged out of his mouth. Hopes and dreams released from their years-long prison inside his heart. And still, there still was left many that wanted out.
He found himself saying, “Back then, I had felt excited and apprehensive. The thought that out there was another one like me who housed an Eikon in their body...I couldn't wait to meet you and see how you were like. I felt how the Phoenix felt for Bahamut. For you. And I thought that you would also have felt the same, simply because we were in the same predicament. Arriving here...made me realize how naïve I've been. I've placed so much hope in stories, in legends. In them coming true simply because we finally meet. But the reality of it is a different matter. It turned out you were in love with someone else. There was no room for me; I am merely here as a fulfillment of duty.”
“You are not just a fulfillment of duty, my beloved.” Dion reached out to take Joshua’s hand, but the redhead still seemed lost in the sea of all he had buried inside, the touch unacknowledged.
“You are you,” continued Joshua, “and though Bahamut resides in you it didn't mean you have to feel as he felt. It didn't mean you have to consign yourself to the stories of old, of history. It didn't mean you, as Dion Lesage, have to feel for me as Bahamut does for the Phoenix. It didn't mean you have to do or feel as your predecessors did.”
Dion closed his eyes. “But I am. I do.”
“So I've made my peace with it. I've felt so bitter and angry and betrayed for so long. And really, what do my feelings have to do with you? I'm ready to move past it. We may be married, but we don't have to have anything to do with each other. We'll just carry on as we've always had.”
“I wholeheartedly disagree, my beloved.”
“Our marriage aside, you've proven to be honorable and kind. And you must really love the Shining Concubine, accepting the child he had even though such a thing is-”
Dion tightened his hold and firmly objected, “No,” finally breaking through Joshua’s soliloquy with the pressure of his hands.
That brought Joshua’s gaze upon Dion, and he blinked wonderingly. “Pardon?”
“You're wrong about me. I'm selfish and greedy.” The emperor shifted in the seat and held both of Joshua’s hands in his. “Having had a taste, I want it all. I want all of you. I want to be free from this vow, this cage I've created, so I can finally be with you.” He held up both hands against his chest. “Growing up, you were like a dream, unfathomable, unreachable. I got so mired by all that I couldn't have that I had gotten impatient: instead of waiting for you and keeping on the path that destiny forged for me, I strayed just so I could feel something. Anything. Gripped by loneliness, I was a man starved for attention and love. Things that happened to others and not to people like us who were put up on pedestals and worshiped as gods. We house beings beyond human ken inside our bodies, and so by extension everything human is beyond us. But that was what I wanted most of all: to feel human.
“But always with him I tried to find what I've been seeking, to allay this insatiable hunger that's been persisting inside me for so long. But I had come to realize that he was the one who wanted most of all for me to be more human than I really am. He could not fully accept me for me. And one night with you made everything settle inside me. All that I'd been seeking was with you all along, had I been patient, had I waited as I should.”
Joshua shook his head, unwilling to allow the fledgling spark of hope to blaze in his heart. “Please, don’t-”
“I want to fight for us.”
Joshua curled his hands into fists, feeling the sting of tears on the precipice of his lids. Fight how? he wondered. Fight who? Against yourself? Because of the vow you made? I-the Phoenix doesn’t want to lose you.
“Be the mate for life that you deserve, just as we should be for all lifetimes.”
Joshua wanted very badly to kick Dion, but the close confines of the carriage and the way he sat with his skirts tucked beneath him made it difficult.
“Breed you the way you are meant to.”
Joshua felt his toes curl at that, the Phoenix trilling in abject approval. But he was not ready to give in just like that. “And what of that favourite of yours?”
Golden-brown eyes were determined as they gazed at him. “The law must be upheld. He and his family have transgressed against the crown and punishment must be meted out.”
“And your feelings on this?”
“I am but a servant of the empire and must do as duty bids.”
“You know what that entails,” reminded Joshua.
But even entertaining the notion of invoking the law regarding the Concubine’s transgression had the oath squeezing at Dion’s heart, and he doubled forward in pain.
Alarmed, Joshua uncurled his fists, gently placing his hands on Dion’s chest, wanting to peer right into the heart of him. “Do not tempt fate,” he implored. “You may have bungled up this lifetime, but I-the Phoenix, I mean, should very much like to see you in the next. His husband for all time.”
Dion closed his eyes. There was pleasure and pain at hearing those words: Pleasure at the thought of distant futures where they were reunited once more, over and over. And pain that Joshua had exempted himself from it in this life.
“You’re mine for all time, as I am yours,” whispered Dion desperately. “I will make things right. I promise-”
Joshua quickly placed a hand over Dion’s lips. “No! No more oaths!”
The emperor nodded, kissing his fingers. “As my beloved commands.”
Joshua sighed in exasperation. “If-hypothetically, mind you-if I should concede to living with you as your husband, in the true union of Bahamut and Phoenix, know that you belong to no other but me.”
“As it should be,” responded Dion readily. “Now and forever.”
“But that oath you took prevents you from being mine. And you cannot raise your hand against the object of your oath.”
“Then be you the blade in my hand, swift, true, and razor sharp. And dissever the chains of the oath around my heart.”
“Will you not regret it? Has he not served you and loved you well?”
“Not enough to allay my hunger, no. There is regret. But also gratefulness. Of everyone around me, he had been the kindest, most loyal. Until he wasn't. Until he stopped. Like me, he was caged. He could have flourished well out in the world if only he didn't fall in love with the dragon who had always belonged to the firebird. ‘Tis strange how I could never see our future together whenever I tried to envision it. What it would've been like if he truly was the one. But he could never be the one. For there is you, Joshua. Only you, for always.”
The redhead bit his lips and closed his eyes. On offer upon a silver platter was the desire he had long ago discarded. In him was the residual anger still for that damnable oath that caused the course of their lives to go awry. Wrought with fiery vengeance, he was not wont to allow it to die down just yet. “I need time.”
“Of course. Anything you require is yours.”
He squeezed at the hand that held his, then gave Dion a piercing look. “We shall see.”
More words were yet to be spoken, but the silence that fell between was suffused with all the potentiality and possibilities of finally allowing their destinies to be fulfilled. Hand in hand and eye to eye, they rode on to the start of their tomorrow.
A/N: Major delay happened: my courseload got super heavy and many a due date was on the horizon that needed to be dealt with, thus fic writing had to be put in the backburner until my courses lightened a bit. Before I knew it, nearly a month had passed. But the interim did give me a lot to percolate on about where I want this story headed since a lot of the times I just write with no plans lol and just let the story develop as it will.
There's probably two or three more chapters left, but don't hold me to that number. Things could change.
Thanks for reading :)
Oct/2023
=========================
previous chapter | next chapter
author: caledon (the_tower_room)
pairing: Dion/Joshua
rating: E
summary: Having been born the Phoenix meant Joshua was destined to be by Bahamut’s side as his consort.
He didn’t know what he was expecting, but certainly not the situation he found himself in.
Omegaverse AU.
words: 3930
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy XVI belongs to Square Enix.
Chapter 4: Expose
On a resounding round of applause did the curtain finally fell on the stage, the lights all around flared brightly to life, and the audience began the slow exodus out of the theatre proper.
Having already stood in their box seats to give the performers their due, Lords Margrace and Lamont turned towards the exit, with the latter offering his arm to the former as they made their way out.
Amidst the height of emotion elicited by the play, the Phoenix’s happy trilling at the company was contagious, spreading to a pleasant hum that reverberated throughout Joshua’s body. His hand was curled upon Lamont’s elbow, and they strolled at leisure out of their private box at the Theatre Imperiale, minds still digesting the show that had just finished.
“So, Lord Margrace,” began Lamont as they stepped out among the throng of leaving theatre-goers, “will you grace me with your thoughts on the performance?”
Joshua took a deep breath, a wrinkle in his nose as he thought. “The performers themselves were amazing,” began he, “The set design and costumes utterly beautiful and conveyed the astounding atmosphere required of the story. Though of the story itself…there is something rather unsatisfying about it.”
Lamont hummed. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” said Joshua, bumping his hip playfully against the other man as he continued, “I noticed that this is director Primus Tabithe’s third work in The Last Dream series where he went with his signature ending of killing the main character off.”
“I must admit I am not familiar with his work.”
“It seems to be his usual forte of storytelling.”
“And you find it unsatisfying?”
“I do feel there are better ways of inciting pathos from the audience other than killing off the main character. It always comes down to a sacrifice they must make and they lose their lives over it. Other directors and writers have had much success with a different approach.”
“Ah, but then it wouldn’t be called a Primus Tabithe work, now would it?”
Joshua huffed out a laugh. “No, I suppose not.”
Lamont’s eyes twinkled with fondness and adoration as he watched Joshua with his mirth.
Feeling self-conscious, the ginger’s cheeks warmed with a pink hue and his blue eyes strayed from his companion’s gaze. “What is it?”
Lamont lifted his other hand to squeeze the hand at his elbow. “Thank you for agreeing to my company.”
Joshua found himself clutching said elbow, exerting a bit of self-control to keep himself from running his hand up to feel at his bicep. “The pleasure is mine.”
There was a pause in their steps at the top of the stairs, the crowd they were following having come to a standstill. At the base of the stairs was an impromptu play of a young inebriated nobleman harassing theatre staff members.
“Do you not know who I am? Who you’re addressing?” Though his words were slurred, still it projected loud and clear among the mass of unintended spectators.
“My Lord, please, the-” One of the unfortunate staff tried to reason, but it was futile-there was no reasoning with someone lost to their drink.
“I am the Emperor’s brother-in-law. I could have him behead you for this. Who do you think you are?”
“Please, my Lord-”
“Don’t you ‘m’Lord’ me. Where’s the guards? Seize this scoundrel. He dared to address his superior like an equal.”
Beside Joshua, he heard a low growl coming from Lamont, the displeased look on his face mirrored that of the rest of the crowd. This was not the first time a member of House Branford tried to throw their weight around. With their family’s sudden rise to power and wealth when Terence Branford was promoted as the Shining Concubine, they had gone on to coerce their way into various industries and companies, forcing their way into the higher aristocratic groups with the leeway given to them by having a member of their House in such a lofty standing in the Emperor’s regard. Joshua had observed such acts from the family around Oriflamme over the years that he had been masquerading as Margrace and even on occasion at court as the Consort, and as with others who had witnessed such uncouth displays, had been resigned to simply let them act as they would on account of the one who backed them. One could only presume that the Emperor and the Concubine’s relationship was truly strong that House Branford could nigh get away with anything and everything uncontested.
But the figure beside Joshua was uncommonly tense, that there seemed to be something deeper in the displeasure separate from the feelings of the rest of the crowd. And the telltale sensation of aether suddenly gathering to converge on Lamont was so familiar that Joshua couldn’t help but gasp, feeling shaken deep in his heart. Questions of why, how, why now fought and entangled inside his mind and brought tears to his eyes. But the threat of that aether had him grasping tightly with both hands on Lamont’s arm. “Not here,” whispered Joshua in warning.
Lamont turned to him, and there was a ring of golden-brown that pushed at the blue colour in his iris, blond roots appearing in his silver hair.
“This is not the place.” Joshua’s own cerulean orbs roved over Lamont’s face, seeing in them the traces of Emperor Bahamut’s features that he had never noticed before. And he couldn’t help feeling as though he was betrayed. But then it would explain the Phoenix’s excitement and enthusiasm; for however much the firebird held anger and frustration for the situation of having to keep apart from his spouse, it was but a small dying star in the expansive universe of their multitude of lifetimes together.
Those who weren’t sensitive to it could not feel the aether themselves, but it was still a relief to sense it dissipate. They couldn’t have Bahamut suddenly manifesting in the crowd; it would cause quite the chaos, riot, and likely destruction. In finding a potential crisis averted, Joshua now had space to give into his irk, and he tried to retrieve his hand from Lamont’s arm, but the latter stubbornly held him in place. In retaliation, the ginger pinched at him and even stomped a booted heel onto his foot, but other than a mild grunt, Lamont refused to release him.
“This is not the place,” said Lamont, throwing Joshua’s words back at him.
The ginger seethed. “Shouldn’t you join your in-law down there?” he whispered scathingly. “He’s invoking you.”
“Rest assured, my beloved-”
Joshua hissed, and proceeded to dig his heel harder on Dion’s shoe, earning him a pained grunt.
“-They will receive their requital.”
“They?” scoffed Joshua, not relenting on his step, relishing the sight of the disguised emperor’s furrowed brow and muscle ticking in his jaw as reaction to the pain he was inflicting.
“They’ve been allowed to roam free for long enough.”
“And who allowed them to flourish so?”
At that, Lamont had the sense of decency to look contrite.
“Is it not for the love of your favourite?” continued Joshua, suddenly feeling that what he had locked away all those years ago threatened to burst out of their prison inside him. He was beset with the fervent desire to not want to be here. Away. He tried to move, to turn back, to be released from the unerring grip that held him in place.
Why, how, why now was a litany that played inside his mind. Before he could bite his lips, words burst out of him, “All my life I’ve lived with the cage of destiny of having the Phoenix live inside me. All the expectations that came with having such a role; the heaviness of all the duty that that entails. And the thought that somewhere out there, there was someone like me, experiencing the same suffocation. And the love that Phoenix has for Bahamut, all those histories and lifetimes, were so overwhelming. But so magical. So wonderful. That I couldn’t wait to feel the same for you. For surely you would have felt that way too?”
Lamont swallowed. “Joshua, I-”
“But I was naïve,” interrupted the ginger, pressing on, unwilling to hear what the emperor had to say. “My feelings are my own, and they have nothing to do with you as you are. They were about a dream of you that was never real. A figment of memory that isn’t even mine.”
Joshua’s foot had gone slack, the fight having gone out of him as he stepped back. Lamont still held him fast, unwilling to let go.
“And now here you are. The oath is still in place. Why, then, are you chasing after the forgotten?”
Dion’s mind reeled. All those years ago where his duty and his destiny were hammered to him over and over, the Phoenix and Joshua Rosfield were merely names, abstract concepts; they did exist, but not having seen them in person, not having met them, to Dion they haven’t been given form and thus didn’t seem real. They had been, at least back then, part of a far-flung future that was removed from his present. What was in his presence during that time was Terence, who had offered to fill that unbearable gaping void of loneliness. But to no avail. That emptiness persisted with a human’s fleeting concept of love. And years later, when the wedding finally took place…just that one night made Dion realize that nobody could ever measure up to what the Phoenix and Joshua truly meant to what he was as a person, as the shell that housed Bahamut. That he and Joshua truly were made to be with each other, meant to be together. Suffused as he was with the weight of all he felt, Dion could only say, “There’s nothing about you that’s forgettable,” every word heavy and significant.
“Eh, who’s been blabbering over there?!” came an exclamation from the landing below, the Branford lord’s attention diverted to them. “I’m talking here. Who do you think you are? You’re nothing, that’s what. I’m related to the Emperor. And with one word from me, the Emperor will have your heads, do you hear?”
Gazes still locked together as though the rest of the world had fallen away, there was a traitorous part of Joshua that badly wanted to know what the disguised emperor meant. And so he sought, the golden-brown orbs that met his blue were fierce in their hope. But the commotion of the crowd being pushed around by the obnoxious young Lord Branford as he made his way to them broke the charged moment between them.
“I’m talking to you, you ugly tart! Who do you think you are, huh? Who said you could speak while I’m talking?”
The momentum of his advance propelled him forcefully into Joshua that he actually managed to shove him off from Lamont’s hold, the redhead’s back smacking against the wall.
Lamont grew livid, his hand landing on the shoulder of young Lord Branford. “You have crossed the line,” he growled.
“Unhand me, you rascal!” Lord Branford rolled his shoulder to dislodge the hand, his other arm flailing around haphazardly and managing to knock the hat and wig from Joshua’s head.
There was a collective gasp of surprise all around as Lord Margrace was unmasked.
“Blimey!” blurted out Lord Branford with spittle flying all around, pointing at Joshua. “You’re the Consort Phoenix!” Then he turned to Lord Lamont, mouth gaping open. “And you’re fraternizing with another man!” He turned to the crowd. “You all saw them, right? That’s treason, that is!” He laughed. “My brother-in-law will have both your heads for this.” And then almost to himself, “And now nothing will stand in my brother the Concubine’s way.”
The murmurs of the scandal of the century was spreading around and growing in volume.
Lamont looked to Joshua, who was minutely shaking his head at him at the touch of aether in the air. Not here, the ginger mouthed. But Dion could stay himself no longer. He would not allow his Consort to be treated in such a manner, to be perceived in such a way. In a bright burst of light, wings sprouted from his back-the span of them scraping against the ornate columns, walls, and the ceiling, and even brushing the crowd away with a great gust of wind and aether. Veins of golden aether glowed over his skin, horns protruded over his head, and the silver of his hair faded back to gold as he made his way to where Joshua leaned against the wall, picking up the dislodged wig and hat on the way.
The startled crowd quickly recognized just who now stood before them and collectively fell to their knees, a susurration of “Your Radiance” and “Your Majesty” chorusing all around.
“If anyone is to be losing their head,” said the Emperor Bahamut in a distorted voice, brushing the dust off of the hat and disentangling it from the now-tangled wig, and tenderly placed it on Joshua’s pinned-up curls, then gave an airy sidelong glance to the figure now cowering on the ground, “it is you, Sir Trevor of House Branford.”
“Your Radiance, I beg for your mercy. I didn’t know…please…”
“No mercy shall be given to any who dared lay a hand upon the Consort Phoenix,” he said bitingly, sending a signal to the shadow guard that had been tailing him, who then immediately went forth to call for the city guards.
The young Lord Branford tried to rise from his position on the floor, yelping in pain as Dion pinned him to the ground with one of his wing spikes.
“You were not given leave to rise, Sir Trevor of House Branford,” proclaimed the Emperor.
“Your Radiance, for the love you hold for my brother, you must show me mercy.”
The crowd around expressed mutters of further disapproval for the scoundrel.
“-How audacious-”
“-So entitled even now as to make demands of the Emperor-”
“-Love for the Concubine, indeed, when the Emperor is here with the Consort-”
“-This Branford lot is really too much-”
“-Hear, hear-”
The crowd parted when the guards finally arrived, who were initially surprised at finding their Emperor semi-primed with the Consort, but not forgetting to salute and pay their respects to their lieges. Dion released his spike from the prone figure, who was immediately put in chains and herded away to be detained in the imperial gaol, shouting for mercy all the while.
Through the path that had opened up before them did the Emperor and Consort leave, stopping before the staff to inform them that reparations to any damages caused by the Emperor’s transformation would be handled by the crown, and an imperial official would arrive on the morrow to oversee the work.
The audience and staff followed them at a respectful distance outside, and Dion assisted Joshua into the carriage before he de-primed and got on himself, and in tense silence did they begin their travel back to the palace.
Joshua had been feeling shaken the entire time - from the awful behaviour of that Branford family member, from the reveal of not just himself to the populace but also of Lamont’s true identity, and from all the words that had burst out of Joshua earlier, unable to stopper them as they barraged out of his mouth. Hopes and dreams released from their years-long prison inside his heart. And still, there still was left many that wanted out.
He found himself saying, “Back then, I had felt excited and apprehensive. The thought that out there was another one like me who housed an Eikon in their body...I couldn't wait to meet you and see how you were like. I felt how the Phoenix felt for Bahamut. For you. And I thought that you would also have felt the same, simply because we were in the same predicament. Arriving here...made me realize how naïve I've been. I've placed so much hope in stories, in legends. In them coming true simply because we finally meet. But the reality of it is a different matter. It turned out you were in love with someone else. There was no room for me; I am merely here as a fulfillment of duty.”
“You are not just a fulfillment of duty, my beloved.” Dion reached out to take Joshua’s hand, but the redhead still seemed lost in the sea of all he had buried inside, the touch unacknowledged.
“You are you,” continued Joshua, “and though Bahamut resides in you it didn't mean you have to feel as he felt. It didn't mean you have to consign yourself to the stories of old, of history. It didn't mean you, as Dion Lesage, have to feel for me as Bahamut does for the Phoenix. It didn't mean you have to do or feel as your predecessors did.”
Dion closed his eyes. “But I am. I do.”
“So I've made my peace with it. I've felt so bitter and angry and betrayed for so long. And really, what do my feelings have to do with you? I'm ready to move past it. We may be married, but we don't have to have anything to do with each other. We'll just carry on as we've always had.”
“I wholeheartedly disagree, my beloved.”
“Our marriage aside, you've proven to be honorable and kind. And you must really love the Shining Concubine, accepting the child he had even though such a thing is-”
Dion tightened his hold and firmly objected, “No,” finally breaking through Joshua’s soliloquy with the pressure of his hands.
That brought Joshua’s gaze upon Dion, and he blinked wonderingly. “Pardon?”
“You're wrong about me. I'm selfish and greedy.” The emperor shifted in the seat and held both of Joshua’s hands in his. “Having had a taste, I want it all. I want all of you. I want to be free from this vow, this cage I've created, so I can finally be with you.” He held up both hands against his chest. “Growing up, you were like a dream, unfathomable, unreachable. I got so mired by all that I couldn't have that I had gotten impatient: instead of waiting for you and keeping on the path that destiny forged for me, I strayed just so I could feel something. Anything. Gripped by loneliness, I was a man starved for attention and love. Things that happened to others and not to people like us who were put up on pedestals and worshiped as gods. We house beings beyond human ken inside our bodies, and so by extension everything human is beyond us. But that was what I wanted most of all: to feel human.
“But always with him I tried to find what I've been seeking, to allay this insatiable hunger that's been persisting inside me for so long. But I had come to realize that he was the one who wanted most of all for me to be more human than I really am. He could not fully accept me for me. And one night with you made everything settle inside me. All that I'd been seeking was with you all along, had I been patient, had I waited as I should.”
Joshua shook his head, unwilling to allow the fledgling spark of hope to blaze in his heart. “Please, don’t-”
“I want to fight for us.”
Joshua curled his hands into fists, feeling the sting of tears on the precipice of his lids. Fight how? he wondered. Fight who? Against yourself? Because of the vow you made? I-the Phoenix doesn’t want to lose you.
“Be the mate for life that you deserve, just as we should be for all lifetimes.”
Joshua wanted very badly to kick Dion, but the close confines of the carriage and the way he sat with his skirts tucked beneath him made it difficult.
“Breed you the way you are meant to.”
Joshua felt his toes curl at that, the Phoenix trilling in abject approval. But he was not ready to give in just like that. “And what of that favourite of yours?”
Golden-brown eyes were determined as they gazed at him. “The law must be upheld. He and his family have transgressed against the crown and punishment must be meted out.”
“And your feelings on this?”
“I am but a servant of the empire and must do as duty bids.”
“You know what that entails,” reminded Joshua.
But even entertaining the notion of invoking the law regarding the Concubine’s transgression had the oath squeezing at Dion’s heart, and he doubled forward in pain.
Alarmed, Joshua uncurled his fists, gently placing his hands on Dion’s chest, wanting to peer right into the heart of him. “Do not tempt fate,” he implored. “You may have bungled up this lifetime, but I-the Phoenix, I mean, should very much like to see you in the next. His husband for all time.”
Dion closed his eyes. There was pleasure and pain at hearing those words: Pleasure at the thought of distant futures where they were reunited once more, over and over. And pain that Joshua had exempted himself from it in this life.
“You’re mine for all time, as I am yours,” whispered Dion desperately. “I will make things right. I promise-”
Joshua quickly placed a hand over Dion’s lips. “No! No more oaths!”
The emperor nodded, kissing his fingers. “As my beloved commands.”
Joshua sighed in exasperation. “If-hypothetically, mind you-if I should concede to living with you as your husband, in the true union of Bahamut and Phoenix, know that you belong to no other but me.”
“As it should be,” responded Dion readily. “Now and forever.”
“But that oath you took prevents you from being mine. And you cannot raise your hand against the object of your oath.”
“Then be you the blade in my hand, swift, true, and razor sharp. And dissever the chains of the oath around my heart.”
“Will you not regret it? Has he not served you and loved you well?”
“Not enough to allay my hunger, no. There is regret. But also gratefulness. Of everyone around me, he had been the kindest, most loyal. Until he wasn't. Until he stopped. Like me, he was caged. He could have flourished well out in the world if only he didn't fall in love with the dragon who had always belonged to the firebird. ‘Tis strange how I could never see our future together whenever I tried to envision it. What it would've been like if he truly was the one. But he could never be the one. For there is you, Joshua. Only you, for always.”
The redhead bit his lips and closed his eyes. On offer upon a silver platter was the desire he had long ago discarded. In him was the residual anger still for that damnable oath that caused the course of their lives to go awry. Wrought with fiery vengeance, he was not wont to allow it to die down just yet. “I need time.”
“Of course. Anything you require is yours.”
He squeezed at the hand that held his, then gave Dion a piercing look. “We shall see.”
More words were yet to be spoken, but the silence that fell between was suffused with all the potentiality and possibilities of finally allowing their destinies to be fulfilled. Hand in hand and eye to eye, they rode on to the start of their tomorrow.
A/N: Major delay happened: my courseload got super heavy and many a due date was on the horizon that needed to be dealt with, thus fic writing had to be put in the backburner until my courses lightened a bit. Before I knew it, nearly a month had passed. But the interim did give me a lot to percolate on about where I want this story headed since a lot of the times I just write with no plans lol and just let the story develop as it will.
There's probably two or three more chapters left, but don't hold me to that number. Things could change.
Thanks for reading :)
Oct/2023
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