im destracted by the cut on my lip
i was just about to type my new entry when my mother started bugging me about drivers ed.
... i told her all this before. though i tried to remain calm and answer the question, she refused to stop antagonizing me with really stupid questions. really stupid. things i've answered to her not even a full minute earlier. upon reflection i guess grabbing a pillow and chucking it at her was more violent and immature than a resolution; however, i hate being annoyed. she was annoying me.
im sick of school, its become more of a liability than a learning experience and all i get out of it is a lack of sleep and a bunch of busy work. im all for learning, but im not sure how knowing logarithmatic and "que tal vez" is going to help me. (i forgot what that fucking means). now dont get me wrong, im not saying its pointless, im sure someone may love spanish. quite possibly become a spanish teacher some day after traveling all the latin american countries, visiting the sights, and even partaking in the running of the bulls. im not that person. im ready to learn what i want to learn. sure im young but im old enough to know what i want to do. i garentee it'll have nothing to do with log (to the base) 3 under x-4 or latin america.
its interesting but i was looking at livejournal entries doing my part to be an ass and make my own little snide remarks to people i dont like (sometimes maybe hiding behind an anonymous comment) talking to people i think are really hot and who should dump their girlfriends for me (note, past paragraph has been sarcastic) and i thought of my eljay name. the1artist12. the 1 and the 12 came from my birthdate (12/1/87). its in most of my middle school SN's and it was almost habitual when i put that in. the artist however came from... well, no real background. it was the day after snowball and i just decided to put the artist. i want to be an artist. i blame brendan donahue (probably spelled that wrong, but yo uall know b-side, skin head b, johnny badass, etc.)
i was talking to him during my free period and he showed me a bunch of art stuff. it was good. scratch that. it fucking rocked. he painted on pictures he took, and carved on pictures he took, and took really cool pictures. possibility for a future? maybe. if i become more in touch with photography and artwork in general, its all your fault b-side.
why am i doing this? i have nothing better to do, and it seems to be the same situation this weekend. my life has become so unmotivated and pathetic lately its so disgusting. this is going under a cut in hopes people wont look at it. i should erase it but i just dont feel like it.
dammit, i've said "i" too many times. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! all this is is complaining and self depricating bullshit that just turns around on itself and leads to nowhere other than where ever.
askldgh;asldkgh, i wish i had something to do besides complain and shit
god i hate myself
im gonna go write on something that isnt posted to anyone on the internet