what I do when I'm bored
Part I - General Rules
1. The first person to yell “Shotgun!” gets to ride in the front passenger seat.
2. The word “shotgun” must be yelled loud enough for at least one witness to hear. If “shotgun” is whispered with the intent of only one witness hearing it, the call is automatically void.
3. All occupants of the Jeep must be outside, directly on the way to, and in sight of the Jeep before Shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may Shotgun be called while inside a building. If the Jeep is parked in a garage, then the garage is considered outside for the purposes of calling Shotgun.
4. A person may only call Shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside the Jeep or while still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one cannot get out of the Jeep and call Shotgun for the return journey.
5. One is allowed to ride Shotgun as many times as he or she legitimately calls it.
6. If no one calls Shotgun, the first person to place their hand on the handle to open the Shotgun door, or to sit Shotgun, takes Shotgun.
Part II - Special Cases and Exceptions
1. In the event that the owner of the Jeep is drunk or for any other reason unable to perform as driver, or is not driving for any reason, he is automatically awarded Shotgun, unless declined.
2. In the event that the driver’s significant other or potential significant other is present, she is automatically awarded Shotgun, unless declined.
3. In the event that a passenger may legitimately get sick during the course of a drive, he or she is automatically defaulted to Shotgun as to make appropriate use of the window.
4. In the event that there are three passengers, two of whom are a couple, the passenger who is not in the couple is automatically awarded Shotgun.
5. In the event that only one person in the group knows how to get to the designated location, and this person is not the driver, they are automatically deemed Navigator and thus awarded Shotgun.
6. In the event that the owner of the Jeep is unable to serve as driver, the person most qualified or most often deemed Navigator shall serve as driver.
Part III - Rights and Responsibilities of Jeep Shotgun
1. The person riding Shotgun has the right to adjust and change settings on the radio and air conditioning, without permission from, but subject to the approval of, the driver. However, if the owner of the Jeep is riding Shotgun, then he has final say on radio and air conditioning settings.
2. The person riding Shotgun has the responsibility to act as Navigator. This means he or she must be able to read the Atlas as well as road signs, and quickly convey accurate information to the driver. It is also the responsibility of the Navigator to ask for directions, if deemed necessary by the driver.
3. Any person not able to perform the duties of Navigator may be barred from Shotgun by the driver on long trips, or on any trips in which a Navigator is needed.
4. The person riding Shotgun has the responsibility to prevent drinks in the front cup holders from spilling by holding them down during quick starts, quick stops, and turns that may cause said drinks to spill.
5. The person riding Shotgun is entitled to leave Shotgun and retain Shotgun rights provided that he or she is not gone for more than five minutes. After five minutes, the remaining passengers may compete for Shotgun.
6. If the person riding Shotgun leaves Shotgun for a period of time greater than five minutes, but they are doing something to either serve the driver, or performing any duty as Navigator, he or she retains Shotgun rights indefinitely.
7. It is the responsibility of the person riding Shotgun to help the driver look for and identify cops and speed traps.
Part IV - Final Say
1. The driver has final say in all Shotgun decisions.
2. If the driver is not the owner of the Jeep, then the owner has final say in all Shotgun decisions, provided the owner is sober and in otherwise good decision making condition.
3. If for any reason, the owner is not driving or riding in the Jeep, then whoever is driving has final say in all Shotgun decisions.
4. The driver has the right to suspend any person’s Shotgun privileges to and from any trip.
5. The owner of the Jeep has the right to suspend, temporarily or permanently, any person’s Shotgun privileges to and from all trips, except for those in which the owner is not present.
Part V - Additional Rules and Clauses
1. Eviction - If the Jeep is forced to stop due to an infraction by the person sitting Shotgun, then said person must relinquish his or her seat, per the judgement of the driver. The exception to this rule is if the owner of the Jeep is sitting Shotgun; the owner cannot be evicted.
2. Refueling - It is the driver’s responsibility to physically pump gas. It is the responsibility of the person sitting Shotgun to collect any and all gas monies from the other passengers, and deliver all said monies to the driver.
3. Should there be a tie when calling Shotgun, the winner may be determined by a foot race. This is to take place from the location that the tie occurred, to the Jeep. The first person to touch the Jeep is awarded Shotgun.
4. If any person causes damage to the Jeep under any circumstances, such as in a tie-breaking race, that person is automatically barred from Shotgun for a length of time determined by the owner of the Jeep, based on how severe the damage to the Jeep has been.
5. In the event that there is a dispute (tie or otherwise) as to who is to receive Shotgun, the winner of Shotgun may be determined through a single round of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
6. In the event that there are fewer passengers in the Jeep than capacity allows, someone must always ride Shotgun to prevent the driver from feeling like/becoming a chauffeur. This rule includes couples.
7. The driver of the Jeep may allow a couple or potential couple to sit in back while Shotgun remains empty, but is under no obligation to do so. (See previous).
8. When crossing the border into another state, all Shotgun claims up to that point become void and all passengers may once again compete for Shotgun. If there is a change in the person sitting Shotgun, the driver of the Jeep may either pull over at a safe convenience, or wait until the refueling point.
9. A passenger may only receive Shotgun if he says shotgun within the context of calling shotgun. For instance, a passenger may not be awarded shotgun if he or she asks if anyone has called shotgun or if he or she was talking about a shotgun.
10. In the event that a passenger has any injury (broken leg, sprained ankle, etc) that would present a disadvantage in riding in the back significantly moreso than riding Shotgun, that person is automatically awarded Shotgun.
11. The Barefoot Clause - Since you must be outside to call Shotgun, some people will just grab their shoes, run outside, and call Shotgun before putting their shoes on. This is not valid. You must have your shoes on (if you plan to wear any) before you may call Shotgun.