All righty then. Here is my second attempt at this fanfic thing! The S/P ship is a wonderful muse, and while I don't dare think that this will be as wildly adored as The Intrinsic Happiness Quotient, I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless. Do leave your comments, they stave off writer's block and feed the soul!
Title: Anything-Can-Happen-August (1/?)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: R (just to be safe - since I don’t know where this will go yet)
Word Count: 2436
Disclaimer: Not mine... although I still wish I had my own Sheldon *sigh*
X-Posted: Paradox (sheldon_penny):
http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/426233.html Anything-Can-Happen-August
August 5, 2011
Leonard Hofstadter stared up at the sky, whether seeking divine intervention or not, he wasn’t sure.
The sun shone bright and the sky above him was a piercing cerulean blue, with nary a cloud in sight, almost as if water wouldn’t dare condensate into cloud cover on this day.
He silently watched all the different cars pull into the parking lot, noting that someone had even arrived in a Winnebago, he thought with a wry chuckle, inanely wondering if it was de rigueur to arrive at a wedding in your mobile home, even for Nebraska.
Small groups of people started filing up the steps towards him. The ladies were dressed in pastel summer dresses, some with fancy hats and pashmina shawls, while the men wore a variety of suits, and not a chequered pattern in sight, he thought with a smirk, recalling Penny’s long lecture on the evils of plaid.
He scanned the small crowd for Wolowitz and Koothrappali; he had promised Penny that he would keep an eye on Howard, and make sure he didn’t get himself into trouble with any of the female guests. Strangely, he found them sitting side by side on the stone banister that flanked the steps to the church. They looked reflective and it was surreal to see that thoughtful an expression on Howard’s face. He debated going down there to join them, but his feet wouldn’t move. He had his own thoughts to ponder and a part of him felt like he would be intruding on Raj and Howard’s own introspections.
The man standing next to him fidgeted. Leonard inhaled deeply before plastering an understanding smile on his face, and turned towards his best friend. He patted Sheldon on the back. It was a manly gesture, he supposed, but he really couldn’t think of anything else to do that would be more encouraging or supportive.
As the crowd coming into the church thinned down to a few stragglers, Howard and Raj made their way up to where he and Sheldon were standing.
“It’s time to rock, dudes,” Raj said with a nervous smile.
Sheldon’s fidgeting increased substantially.
“You gonna be okay, big guy?” Howard asked, with what was likely supposed to be an encouraging smile but instead looked slightly terrifying.
“It’s all right, Sheldon,” Leonard reassured him. “Just think, it’ll all be over in an hour.”
“It’s a wedding, Leonard,” Sheldon huffed impatiently. “This is just the beginning.”
“Well, then - let’s go embrace the new beginning!”
All four men braced themselves in their own ways, and then quickly checked out each other’s suits to make they still looked decent. Their black suits matched, with the exception of Sheldon’s of course, which was slightly different, but all were tailored to fit perfectly, since Penny had insisted on overseeing all their fittings.
Satisfied that they all looked good despite the jitters all of them were experiencing - after all, this was the first time one of them was getting married, jitters were to be expected - they took a collective deep breath and entered the church together, Leonard and Sheldon leading the way. They walked up the aisle slowly and with seeming casualness, occasionally smiling and waving at familiar faces.
As they took their places at the altar, Leonard could not help but feel a pang of regret that he was not going to be the one standing up to take his vows with Penny, promising to love her forever. That ship had sailed a long time ago - in fact, it had never even come in to dock. He and Penny were just never meant to be, no matter how much he may have wished otherwise.
And he had wished. And wished. And then, for good measure, he had wished some more.
As they looked into the crowd seated in the pews, a few people smiled encouragingly at them, but still, Sheldon fidgeted at his side. It was to be expected though, since he would have done much the same had he been in Sheldon’s shoes, so he let it slide. After all, this was a big day for Sheldon, and he - Leonard - had to somehow get him through it in one piece. And Leonard had already come to the realization that Sheldon loved Penny enough not to make this difficult for her by giving in to any of his little idiosyncrasies.
Suddenly, the opening strains of Wagner’s Bridal March sounded loudly in the church, and all four of them jumped, completely startled. They nervously laughed at each other before regaining their slightly more sober demeanour and focusing, like everyone else in the church hall, on the little girl who was ushered to stand in the archway of the hall’s entrance.
With golden ringlets and green eyes - Penny’s five-year-old niece, Mandy - looked adorable in a buttery yellow dress and basket with matching ribbons. Wearing a serious expression - she was after all, leading the bridal procession - she slowly began walking down the aisle with measured steps, carefully tossing miniature red, yellow and orange Penny Blossoms from her basket as she went.
That had been Sheldon’s idea, and the moment he had thought of it, Leonard had known that his friend genuinely loved Penny. It was one of the countless thoughtful little things that he did for her that finally convinced Leonard that Sheldon was the right man for her, and that his own feelings for her would forever pale in comparison.
Sheldon had of course overseen the entire Penny Blossom manufacturing process by Penny’s cousins and Raj - although how Raj got roped into helping was still a mystery. The four of them also sported Penny Blossom boutonnieres on their lapels; Sheldon’s was red, and the rest of them had yellow ones.
As Mandy neared the halfway point to the altar, Penny’s teenaged sister, Samantha, in a long flowing dress of the same pleasant yellow shade as her niece, started down the aisle. Following a few steps behind her was Mandy’s mother, Penny’s older sister, the trigger-happy, gun-toting Katherine that Penny had always talked about. Finally the music reached the crescendo that signalled the entrance of the bride, and all heads turned to the archway as Penny stood there with her father.
Sheldon gasped audibly. And no wonder, Leonard thought, for Penny looked... glorious. Her strapless dress was stunning, with a figure-hugging bodice and a billowing skirt made with yards and yards of tulle that ended in a train behind her. The intricate rhinestone-encrusted detail of the dress’ bodice caused it to shimmer when the light hit it as she walked, so she literally and figuratively sparkled. She had eschewed a veil in favour of a crown of delicate white Penny Blossoms over her artfully styled golden curls. Sheldon had not trusted anyone else with making the white Penny Blossom crown and his work was of course, both intricate and flawless, and the flowers looked freshly plucked and absolutely real. When Sheldon had presented her with it, Leonard had realized that Sheldon not only loved Penny, but he was in love with her. And that it was the true kind of love, the forever kind, the kind of love that happy, lasting marriages were built on.
As Penny approached the altar, her gaze darted to Sheldon’s, as if she couldn’t quite help herself, and she smiled at him.
Leonard was struck by the force of that radiant smile - it was as if her whole world was somehow summarized in a single smile - only for Sheldon. He heard Sheldon take a deep, shuddering breath and when he looked up at him, Leonard actually saw the tension dissipate from Sheldon’s body as he smiled back at her. A real smile, for once.
Leonard breathed a sigh of relief and returned the smile that Penny briefly flashed in his direction before she turned to smirk at both Raj and Howard. Then she turned to the minister and handed her bouquet, a melange of beautifully arranged white and yellow flowers - that had been a gift from him, Howard and Raj - to her sister.
The minister smiled benevolently at her.
“Who gives this woman in marriage?” he asked. Penny’s father puffed up at her side.
“I do,” he said gruffly, as he placed her hand in her soon-to-be husband’s hand and stepped back to take his seat beside Penny’s mother.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...” the minister started, and Leonard, his stomach clenching with apprehension, absently wondered why he felt so nervous.
“Into this holy estate,” the minister continued, “these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.”
There was pin drop silence in the church and suddenly time seemed to slow. In those crucial few seconds that the minister paused in his prayer, Leonard wondered if he should say something - anything.
The nerves were causing his stomach to churn uncomfortably, and every instinct in his body was clamouring for him to interrupt - to turn to Penny and yell: Stop this madness, Penny - you’re marrying the wrong man!
You should be marrying Sheldon!
But Leonard, instead, held his peace.
Then, just as the minister opened his mouth to continue with the prayer, someone spoke.
“Stop.”
Every head in the church swivelled to look at the man standing beside Leonard. Leonard’s heart leapt to his throat as Raj and Howard gasped in shock.
“Sheldon! What are you doing?” he whispered fiercely, his tone at the crossroads between admonishing and encouraging. Leonard actually felt a palpable fear as Penny turned to look at Sheldon. She wore her junior-rodeo-on look and it was menacing and completely at odds with her wedding dress.
“Sweetie?” She glared at Sheldon - her Best Man. “I’m kind of in the middle of something important here.” It was said with sarcasm, so of course it went right over Sheldon’s head.
“When have you ever known me to hold my peace, Penny?” Sheldon asked her, the look on his face was now steely and determined. Leonard was so unnerved, he thought he would pass out. “You’re making a colossal mistake marrying this man. There, I said it. We’ve all wanted to say it, but none of us had the courage. But I’m your best man - I have to have your best interests at heart and he,” Sheldon pointed to Penny’s groom, “he isn’t in your best interests.”
Penny’s eyes widened and she looked away from Sheldon and up at her stunned and increasingly annoyed future husband, Michael.
“Penelope,” Leonard heard Michael whisper to her, “get rid of him - or I will.”
Leonard’s shackles rose, but there was no way he would - or could - challenge Michael; the man made Kurt seem like a teddy bear in comparison. Penny turned to look at the crowd, her face strained, and Leonard actually felt incredibly sorry that her perfect day had been marred by Sheldon’s interruption. Then again, they had all needed to get this off their chests. Sheldon was right - they had all felt that Penny was making a huge mistake, but he - Sheldon - had the only one brave enough to tell her.
If only he had timed it a little better.
“Sorry, everyone. There’s been a little... unscheduled hiccup,” Penny addressed the crowd after throwing Sheldon a mean stare. She glanced at her parents and sisters and smiled reassuringly. “Nothing to be concerned about. I’ll be right back.”
And with that, she grabbed Sheldon by the hand - threw a scathing glance at Leonard when he tried to follow - and dragged Sheldon to a hallway behind the altar of the church.
***
Penny, her heart beating like bongo drum in her chest, propelled Sheldon, her hand at his back, down the hallway and into a side room. She had known of the room’s existence because she had grown up coming to this church every Sunday, and that was the room she had always tried to hide in to escape bible studies class.
She shoved Sheldon inside and slammed the door shut behind her before whirling on him like the warrior queen she played on Age of Conan.
“I can’t believe I just did that!” he exclaimed.
“I can’t believe it either, Sheldon!” she cried angrily. “If you had hesitated just a second longer, the minister would have launched into the whole spiel. God - what’s the matter with you?”
Sheldon shuffled in place, looking down in contrition and remorse. Penny frantically looked around the room, her eyes lighting up when she saw the heavy-looking wooden chair in the corner of the room near the door. She rushed to it - grabbing it and dragging it across the floor to the door. Once there, she tilted the chair on its hind legs and shoved the chair back so that it lodged under the doorknob.
“What did you do that for?” Sheldon asked in surprise.
“I did that because I’m going to kill you Sheldon, and I don’t want anyone interrupting me!”
“What? Why?” Sheldon yelled, horrified. Penny shushed him. “I don’t understand! I followed your instructions exactly!”
“You waited too long!” Penny railed at him.
“I got caught up in the drama of the moment!” She shot him a withering glare.
“Did you take care of everything else?”
“Our escape is precisely and meticulously planned - well, of course it is - I planned it!”
“Did you top up the gas tank?”
“Penny, I don’t drive! Why would I fill up the tank?”
“Did you at least check the gas tank?”
“I refer you to my previous answer.”
“Yeah, real meticulous, Sheldon!”
Both of them jumped as they heard voices further down the hallway.
“Crap! Let’s go!” Sheldon grabbed her outstretched hand and then ran out through the small back door in the room. It led down a little corridor to a little-used back exit to the church. Sheldon actually gathered up her dress and train, so that she could easily manoeuvre the back stairway to the car park.
He stopped before turning a corner and looked to see if any of the wedding guests had exited the church, but seeing that the car park was deserted, he turned to Penny and held out his hand to her.
“Ready?” he asked, and she looked at first at his outstretched hand and then up at him. He smiled at her, looking happier than she had seen him look in past few weeks, maybe months. She grinned up at him and nodded.
“Let’s do this.” And then they ran, hand in hand, to the waiting Winnebago.