The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (3/6)
I really enjoyed writing this chapter - just because it brought to mind some stellar, magical moments between our dynamic duo. I hope y’all get a kick outta this! Enjoy and remember: Comments = Y
Title: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (3/?)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: T
Word Count: 4,012
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine... I only stake my claim on the plot... and maybe Sheldon, if I can get him.
X-Posted to Paradox: http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/471943.html
Part Three
Penny wasn’t exactly sure how it had happened, but happen it did.
Somehow, after they had all battled it out at Halo, Leonard and Cass had thought it would be nice if they all went out for dinner one night.
As a foursome.
Penny thought they were insane, but had no choice in the matter since it had been Leonard’s brilliant idea to begin with. Sheldon too, was reluctant - but being Sheldon, that could be for any number of reasons - and he voiced his reluctance every few minutes, solely, Penny thought acerbically, to test her patience.
They had looked at each other while Leonard and Cass discussed restaurants - although this was an exercise in futility since Sheldon would eventually have final say - and by some unspoken agreement -that involved staring, a few pointed glares and several raised eyebrows - they decided that Raj and Howard should not be exempted from the imminent outing.
So it was a sixsome that arrived at The Orchid for dinner the next night - coincidentally anything-can-happen-Thursday - which was the only reason Sheldon had not put up too much of a fuss over eating out.
Sheldon held the door open for Cass, and waited until everyone was inside before he followed them in. The restaurant was busy, Penny noted, and before Sheldon could have his customary ‘preferred seating’ discussion with the hostess, she waylaid him with a hand to his arm, and they stepped to the side of the entrance foyer together. Cass watched them in surprise but the guys knew Sheldon was getting the pre-eating out talk, and thought nothing of it.
“Sheldon, it’s way too busy in here - we’re just going to have to sit where they tell us to sit.”
“But what if...?”
“I will talk to the hostess - you stay out of it.”
“Penny - I am perfectly capable...”
“I know, sweetie, but you know what happens when the wait-staff get pissed off, right?”
“Very well.”
Thankfully, the hostess seated them at a table by the window, and all of them stood as they waited for Sheldon to decide where he wanted to sit. He picked the seat on the left of the table, closest to the window and Cass slid into the seat next to him. Penny took the seat across from him, while Leonard sat next to her. Raj and Howard looked at each other in alarm as they noted the empty seat next to Cass. Both moved to sit next to Leonard, but Raj was just a little bit quicker, thus forcing Howard to sit next to Cass. For once, Howard did not seem thrilled at the prospect. Instead, he settled for leering at hostess as she gave them their menus.
Sheldon excused himself a few minutes later to go wash his hands, and while the rest of them were still perusing their menus, their harried waitress came up to the table. She was young and obviously having a rough night. Penny felt her pain.
“Hi everyone, my name’s Lucy and I’ll be your server tonight. Would you be ready to order, by any chance? We’re really sorry to rush you, but we are so busy that the more time the kitchen has the better,” she said in a Midwestern accent that endeared her to Penny even more. “Oh, and your first drinks are on the house, and we’ll send over a complimentary platter of appetizers as well - just to make up for the slight delay tonight.”
They were all generally ready to order, but Penny let everyone else order first, buying time for Sheldon to return, although there was no telling how long he would take - it all really depended on the cleanliness of the washrooms, and if they had lotion - well, then Sheldon would moisturize.
She had just finished scanning the menu for the most Sheldon-friendly selections, when the waitress walked around to her end of the table to get her order.
“All right, Lucy,” she said with a smile, “first off let me apologize in advance for the customer who will be seated across from me,” Lucy darted a startled glance at the empty seat before looking at Penny again. “I swear to you, though - if you get his order exactly right - he is an amazing tipper. Believe me - I’m a waitress and I’ve served him - the key is in the details. You’re going to have to write all this down and I will check it at the end.”
“Sheldon still tips you?” Leonard asked in surprise.
“Always,” Penny replied offhandedly, before turning to Lucy again. “And just to keep things simpler - I’m going to have the exact same thing, okay?” The girl nodded as Cass looked at Penny quizzically. “We will have the cedar plank grilled salmon. It needs to be well done - no raw bits in the middle. The internal temperature of the salmon steak at its thickest part needs to be above 150 degrees Fahrenheit. The vegetables on the side need to be roasted, not steamed - and please don’t even let a cauliflower within five feet of his plate.”
“Allergies?” Lucy asked with a worried frown.
“Idiosyncrasies,” Penny deadpanned. “Also, brown rice on the side - not white. And nothing on the plate can be seasoned. These are what we will require on the side: raspberry vinaigrette, low sodium soy sauce, salt, freshly ground pepper, a whole lemon with a knife - he’ll cut it himself - and some crushed chilli flakes.”
“What about the salad that comes with the meal?”
“No salad - he doesn’t do salad. Bring him a baked potato instead. Make sure there’s a dollop of sour cream and chopped chives on the side - nothing on the potato.”
“Wow.”
“No kidding. You want to read that back to me, sweetie?” Penny listened as she repeated the order verbatim. “Perfect - like I said - get this right, and he’ll be your biggest tipper. Oh, and I almost forgot - get him a diet coke - chilled, no ice, and if you could bring that whole lemon I mentioned now - that would be great - he’ll probably want a wedge with his drink. Oh, and for dessert - we’ll have the peach cobbler - lightly dusted with icing sugar and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream...”
“On the side?”
“You got it.”
“Okay, I’m on it,” Lucy steeled herself for the impending challenge and Penny smirked.
“Good girl!”
The rest of the table stared at her - completely dumbfounded - as Sheldon wound his way around the tables back to them. He took his seat across from Penny.
“The men’s room has an acceptable level of cleanliness,” he mused, rubbing his hands together. “They also had lotion.” Penny hid her smile behind her hand.
Sometimes it was downright scary how well she knew him.
The drinks arrived not long after, and Sheldon looked pleasantly surprised at his tall glass of diet cola and the whole lemon that accompanied it. He graciously thanked Lucy, who blushed, and hurried away not long after depositing a paring knife on a gleaming plate next to his glass.
“Thank you for ordering my drink, Penny.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Penny said as she pulled out her vibrating phone. She had just received a text from her sister, and she hit reply while Sheldon tried to get the waitress’ attention.
“Sorry, guys, but I just have to text my sister back - talk amongst yourselves and don’t mind me for a few minutes.”
“Isn’t she going to take my order?” Sheldon wondered aloud, as he read the menu.
“I ordered for you,” Penny absently informed him, her fingers flying over the text keypad of her phone.
“The cedar plank salmon well done?”
“Yes.”
“150 degrees Fahrenheit internal temperature - no hint of opaqueness?”
“Yes.”
“Roasted, not steamed, vegetables and brown, not white, rice on the side?”
“And no cauliflower. Yes.”
“Oh, I forgot about the cauliflower - thank you. Raspberry vinaigrette, low sodium soy sauce, salt, freshly ground pepper, crushed chilli flakes - this lemon is sufficient. Oh, and no salad?”
“Yes to everything.”
“What do I want instead of a salad?” he mused. “Hmmm. Maybe mashed potatoes?”
“You had that yesterday.”
“Oh, right - a baked potato then.”
“Sour cream and chives on the side.”
“Perfect. Thank you, Penny.”
“You’re welcome - oh, my sister says hello.”
“Kate or Sam?”
“Sam.”
“How was her chemistry test?”
“I just asked her that - B plus.”
“That is satisfactory.”
“More than satisfactory considering she was failing before. She says it’s all thanks to you, and she’s going to courier you a batch of her white chocolate walnut brownies.”
“I merely tutored her. And thank her in advance for the brownies - which I will not be sharing with you - so make sure you ask her to send you some as well.” Penny smirked.
“You tutored Penny’s sister in Omaha?” Leonard asked in surprise. “And she sends you brownies?”
“Yes, through Skype - the tutoring, not the brownies,” he answered vaguely. “I like the ambiance here. Good choice, Penny. Is this where you...?”
“Bought the peach cobbler? Yes,” she said, without taking her eyes from her phone.
“Excellent, then that’s what I’m having for dessert.”
“I already ordered it. Kate’s dating again.”
“Oh, good for her. I gather that makes you happy now? Icing sugar over top and à la mode?”
“Yes. And it does make me happy. She’s my sister - her happiness is important to me.”
“Hmm... I don’t really think about my sisters’ happiness.”
“That’s because they’re not unhappy - believe me, if they were - you would think about it.”
“I don’t see why it would bother me one way or the other.”
“I know you, Sheldon Cooper,” Penny sighed, putting her phone away, and looking defiantly at him, “for all your griping - it would bother you if a member of your family was unhappy. You might not want to share that with anyone but it would so bother you.”
“I suppose. Although what a waste of time and energy that would be.”
“It’s like watching the Sheldon and Penny Show,” she heard Howard mumble to Raj at the other end of the table. Raj nodded in awe, and after that Penny studiously avoided looking at them. It was bad enough that she had Cass’ stares to contend with. It was making her very uncomfortable, and yet - she didn’t get what the big deal was.
She had known Sheldon Cooper for four years.
Enough said.
Somehow, she didn’t feel very conversational at the moment, and she let the talk deviate into scientific waters for a little while. Then their food arrived. Lucy - with the assistance of another waiter - carefully laid out the various items in front of her and Sheldon, and then looked to Penny for approval. Penny’s sharp gaze took in all the dishes one by one, each one perfectly prepared and arranged exactly as per her instructions. She beamed up at Lucy.
“Excellent job, honey.”
“Thanks,” she replied with a relieved sigh as she darted a shy smile at Sheldon, and then scurried away.
“The service here is exemplary,” Sheldon stated, as he spread his napkin on his lap, “even if the waitress is somewhat skittish.”
Most of the meal passed with animated conversations about everything from superstring theory to superheroes. Penny’s mind actually glossed over huge chunks of the conversation - after knowing the guys for such a long time - she had heard most of this before.
She was absently staring out the window admiring the twinkling fairy lights that decorated the trees in the park across the street - they were just a couple of weeks from Christmas after all - when she noticed a couple walking hand in hand, smiling at each other and looking very much in love.
Penny sighed; when was she ever going to be in love like that? Where the person by your side is the only person you ever want by your side? For the rest of your life.
She did a double take when the man she was watching dropped to his knee in front of the woman he was with. They were silhouetted by the fountain they were standing beside - and with the lights all around them - the scene was magical. She grasped Sheldon’s hand where it lay on the table.
“Aww, look, Sheldon - he’s proposing,” she whispered excitedly, turning to Leonard with an excited smile and grasping him by the elbow. Everyone’s gaze followed her line of sight to the couple outside. “That’s so romantic,” she murmured, getting all choked up - a ridiculous reaction, but she was a sucker for stuff like this. As the man pulled out what was obviously a ring from his pocket and offered it up to the girl, Penny held her breath, waiting to see the woman’s response.
“Why is he engaging in this blatantly public display of his ardour?” Sheldon asked.
“Shhh...,” Penny’s hand involuntarily tightened its grip on Sheldon’s, and his thumb unconsciously curled around hers. She watched as the woman raised her hand to her face, wiping away tears; and blinked as tears sprang into her own eyes.
“She’s crying - obviously, her response is going to be negative.”
“No, it won’t be...”
“Why not?”
“Because Sheldon - we cry when we get proposed to,” Sheldon started; she could feel it from their clasped hands.
“Are you speaking from personal experience?”
“No. It’s just something we women do.”
“That makes no sense whatsoever...”
“She said yes! Oh! How wonderful!” Penny sighed happily, bouncing in her seat slightly as she turned to look at all of them, a little surprised that none of them looked as excited as she felt. She looked back at the happy couple; the man now twirled the woman about in his arms. It was cliché and the scene had played out like a sappy romantic film, but that didn’t make watching it any less touching.
The conversation at the table resumed where it had left off, but Penny still watched the couple as they kissed. They looked - even from a distance - joyous.
Something suddenly clicked into place in her head. She didn’t feel that way with Leonard. Her hand dropped from where it rested in the crook of his arm.
Granted, it was not a startling realization. They had hooked up when the guys had returned home from the arctic over a year ago, and had broken up and made up and broken up again since then. This most recent re-establishment of their relationship had been the result of a drunken night of ill-advised sex. He had read a lot more into it than she had, but she had been feeling so lonely and desperate for human connection, that she had just settled into being a couple again.
After all, even though Leonard could be cloying sometimes, basically he was a sweet guy and she did adore him, but being with him did nothing to fill the void in her soul.
She snapped to attention when their dessert arrived, and Lucy placed the peach cobbler in front of her. She smiled up at the girl but noticed the waitress’ gaze was on her hand, which while no longer clasped in Sheldon’s, was very near his hand, his thumb nestled beneath her index finger.
Penny blinked at her peach cobbler, and tried not to feel... anything.
“You didn’t answer my question before,” Sheldon told her as he tucked into his dessert.
“What question?”
“Why would he do something like propose marriage - which I am assuming is a rather intimate ritual - in such a public place?” Penny looked up at him as he chewed thoughtfully, obviously interested in her response, and vaguely aware that the others had stopped discussing something about a nano-whatsit, and were now looking at them. Penny nonchalantly moved her hand away from Sheldon’s and picked up her fork.
“Maybe they met in that park. Or maybe it was their special place to hang out - maybe that’s where they realized they were in love. Either it has some special significance to them or he thought it was a pretty place to propose with the fountain and twinkly lights,” she told him as she took a bite of her cobbler.
“It was kind of romantic,” Leonard pointed out.
“I suppose,” Cass concurred. “And now they enter into a new phase of their relationship - although I still don’t quite understand how a ring on your finger and a piece of paper can define a relationship paradigm for so many people. Common law relationships would work just as well.”
“But that’s not marriage,” Penny argued. “There’s a difference.”
“What are your thoughts on marriage, Sheldon? I’m assuming that at some point of your life you would contemplate taking a mate.” Cass asked him, a look of almost clinical curiousity on her face. Leonard, Howard and Raj exchanged amused looks.
“Here we go,” Leonard mumbled, smothering a smile. Penny bristled at the thought - taking a mate? What was he - livestock? She absolutely hated it when people just assumed Sheldon was unfeeling and unaware of anything that even remotely bordered on personal.
Then again, maybe she saw - admittedly small - glimpses of a side of him that no one else really looked for.
“I have to agree with Penny on this issue,” he said bluntly, surprising them all. Penny’s startled gaze briefly collided with his, before he addressed the table at large. “Of course, I strongly believe that I need to propagate my unique DNA with a suitable mate, but I also believe in the sanctity of the marriage bond. Although, I haven’t yet come to terms with the inevitable havoc it will wreck on my existence as I know it.” He shuddered.
“Not necessarily,” Leonard informed him, “you could essentially maintain separate yet fruitful lives and still uphold a marital bond. That’s what my parents did.”
“My parents as well,” Cass told them, “they had separate bedrooms and I can’t help but see only advantages to that scenario. My bedroom, for example, is my sanctuary. I can’t even imagine sharing it.”
“Here, here,” Sheldon agreed.
“Are you guys for real?” Penny exclaimed. “When two people love each other enough to get married, they actually like sharing things, you know? Like a bed? There’s nothing better than snuggling with someone you love.”
“Here, here,” Howard agreed with a leer at Penny. She glowered at him.
“But you don’t like to snuggle,” Leonard looked at her, bemused.
“I’m not talking about me,” Penny retorted, not quite meeting his eyes. “I meant generally. And my point was that it’s weird for a married couple to have separate bedrooms.”
“What if your partner is a loud snorer and you’re a light sleeper, or vice versa?” Cass countered.
“Or what if they wake up a lot during the night?” Sheldon asked with a pointed look at Leonard.
“I have sleep apnea!” Leonard snapped.
“I guess,” Penny shook her head. “I don’t know - I would think that if you loved each other - you’d want to be together - even while you were asleep.”
“But it would mean sharing your bed - and I don’t know about that,” Sheldon stated flatly.
“Oh, Sheldon,” Penny rolled her eyes at him. “It would just be a simple adjustment from sleeping right smack in the middle of a great, big bed like a mummy in a tomb thingie!”
“Sarcophagus.”
“Sarcophagus, right. All you would have to do is pick a side.”
“I like the middle - it’s the most comfortable spot.”
“You have more spots than a leopard.”
“Something my future wife would have to contend with.”
“God help her,” Howard quipped.
“God and his mother!” Penny added with a giggle. This time Sheldon rolled his eyes.
“Speaking of whom - she wants to you to call her tomorrow,” he took another bite of his pie. “Oh, and speaking of sarcophagi - did you get the email I sent you?”
“What email? And did she say why she wants me to call her?”
“I didn’t ask - who knows what you two talk about all the time? And the email was about the ancient Egyptian exhibit returning to the museum. That’s my second favourite...”
“Epoch!” Penny beamed at him, pleased that she remembered the word. He smiled a small smile.
“Good for you.”
“Hah! Yeah - I saw it on the news last night. I was going to ask if you wanted to go see it again. I had a lot of fun the last time we went to the museum. Oh! I know why she’s calling - we’re supposed to go over ideas for Missy’s bridal shower.”
“Oh - why you? And I thought we could go on Sunday.”
“Because I’m driving you to the wedding, remember? So I’m going to be there to help out. And Sunday’s great - although I want to stop for waffles first.”
“Done.”
“Good.”
“Wow.” This from Howard again. Raj nodded emphatically as he looked from Penny to Sheldon and back again. Penny avoided looking at Leonard and waved at Lucy, who was passing by, indicating they were ready for the cheque.
They left the restaurant not long after, and judging from the smile Lucy gave him, Sheldon had indeed tipped her well. Raj and Howard said their farewells - well, Howard speaking for them both - as the rest of them walked to Penny’s car. Cass had taken a cab to the restaurant from her hotel, so Penny offered to drop her off. She graciously accepted but seemed surprised when Sheldon, and not Leonard, opened the passenger-side door, and darted a questioning look at Leonard who shrugged and held the back door open for her.
“He gets motion sickness if he sits in the back. And nobody wants to deal with a sick Sheldon.”
“Oh,” Cass commented with a smirk as she got in.
“So, this collaboration between you and Sheldon - do you really think you’ll make significant strides in delineating stem cell signalling pathways?” Leonard asked as they all bucked in.
“Of course it will, Leonard. There are myriad applications to molecular physics. Especially in terms of cloning and immortalizing these cells for in vitro study,” Sheldon informed him.
Penny tuned out of the conversation, but when Sheldon was silent for a moment, as Cass and Leonard debated something sciency, she asked in him in a hushed voice: “Cloning? Isn’t that like - not physics?”
“That’s right,” Sheldon told her, “cloning is more of a molecular biological technique but we’re trying to enhance its efficacy.”
“You mean make it better?”
“Yes.” Penny smirked at him.
“Are you doing this to try and grow your own Leonard Nimoy?” Sheldon, who had been focused on the changing traffic lights as they came to a halt for the red, did a double-take and looked at her. Then his face broke into a singular, perfect grin. Penny giggled.
“Have you heard the old adage that great minds think alike?”
“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, still smiling.
“This is the first time I have felt an intellectual kinship with you, Penny,” he teased, his smile matching the playfulness of hers. Penny narrowed her eyes and mock-glared at him.
“Give me some time to blow the man down,” she sung under her breath, as she looked away.
But Sheldon heard her - and he... laughed.
She couldn’t keep a straight face, and soon they were both laughing while Cass and Leonard looked at them and each other in confusion. Penny calmed herself as the light turned green, but the smile stayed on her face.
It started less than a minute later. And it was harmonious and flawless - just like the first time.
“Come all ye young fellows that follow the sea...,” Sheldon started.
“...to my way hey, blow the man down,” Penny continued.
“And pray pay attention and listen to me...”
“Give me some time to blow the man down!”
“Here we go,” Leonard lamented, as Cass looked at him in bewilderment. Leonard hung his head, knowing the conversation had just been effectively terminated. He gave Cass a look of commiseration. “Don’t ask.”
“I’m a deep water sailor just come from Hong Kong...”
“...to my way hey, blow the man down...”
“If you’ll give me some whiskey, I’ll sing you a song...”
“Give me some time to blow the man down!”
***
Title: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (3/?)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: T
Word Count: 4,012
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is not mine... I only stake my claim on the plot... and maybe Sheldon, if I can get him.
X-Posted to Paradox: http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/471943.html
Part Three
Penny wasn’t exactly sure how it had happened, but happen it did.
Somehow, after they had all battled it out at Halo, Leonard and Cass had thought it would be nice if they all went out for dinner one night.
As a foursome.
Penny thought they were insane, but had no choice in the matter since it had been Leonard’s brilliant idea to begin with. Sheldon too, was reluctant - but being Sheldon, that could be for any number of reasons - and he voiced his reluctance every few minutes, solely, Penny thought acerbically, to test her patience.
They had looked at each other while Leonard and Cass discussed restaurants - although this was an exercise in futility since Sheldon would eventually have final say - and by some unspoken agreement -that involved staring, a few pointed glares and several raised eyebrows - they decided that Raj and Howard should not be exempted from the imminent outing.
So it was a sixsome that arrived at The Orchid for dinner the next night - coincidentally anything-can-happen-Thursday - which was the only reason Sheldon had not put up too much of a fuss over eating out.
Sheldon held the door open for Cass, and waited until everyone was inside before he followed them in. The restaurant was busy, Penny noted, and before Sheldon could have his customary ‘preferred seating’ discussion with the hostess, she waylaid him with a hand to his arm, and they stepped to the side of the entrance foyer together. Cass watched them in surprise but the guys knew Sheldon was getting the pre-eating out talk, and thought nothing of it.
“Sheldon, it’s way too busy in here - we’re just going to have to sit where they tell us to sit.”
“But what if...?”
“I will talk to the hostess - you stay out of it.”
“Penny - I am perfectly capable...”
“I know, sweetie, but you know what happens when the wait-staff get pissed off, right?”
“Very well.”
Thankfully, the hostess seated them at a table by the window, and all of them stood as they waited for Sheldon to decide where he wanted to sit. He picked the seat on the left of the table, closest to the window and Cass slid into the seat next to him. Penny took the seat across from him, while Leonard sat next to her. Raj and Howard looked at each other in alarm as they noted the empty seat next to Cass. Both moved to sit next to Leonard, but Raj was just a little bit quicker, thus forcing Howard to sit next to Cass. For once, Howard did not seem thrilled at the prospect. Instead, he settled for leering at hostess as she gave them their menus.
Sheldon excused himself a few minutes later to go wash his hands, and while the rest of them were still perusing their menus, their harried waitress came up to the table. She was young and obviously having a rough night. Penny felt her pain.
“Hi everyone, my name’s Lucy and I’ll be your server tonight. Would you be ready to order, by any chance? We’re really sorry to rush you, but we are so busy that the more time the kitchen has the better,” she said in a Midwestern accent that endeared her to Penny even more. “Oh, and your first drinks are on the house, and we’ll send over a complimentary platter of appetizers as well - just to make up for the slight delay tonight.”
They were all generally ready to order, but Penny let everyone else order first, buying time for Sheldon to return, although there was no telling how long he would take - it all really depended on the cleanliness of the washrooms, and if they had lotion - well, then Sheldon would moisturize.
She had just finished scanning the menu for the most Sheldon-friendly selections, when the waitress walked around to her end of the table to get her order.
“All right, Lucy,” she said with a smile, “first off let me apologize in advance for the customer who will be seated across from me,” Lucy darted a startled glance at the empty seat before looking at Penny again. “I swear to you, though - if you get his order exactly right - he is an amazing tipper. Believe me - I’m a waitress and I’ve served him - the key is in the details. You’re going to have to write all this down and I will check it at the end.”
“Sheldon still tips you?” Leonard asked in surprise.
“Always,” Penny replied offhandedly, before turning to Lucy again. “And just to keep things simpler - I’m going to have the exact same thing, okay?” The girl nodded as Cass looked at Penny quizzically. “We will have the cedar plank grilled salmon. It needs to be well done - no raw bits in the middle. The internal temperature of the salmon steak at its thickest part needs to be above 150 degrees Fahrenheit. The vegetables on the side need to be roasted, not steamed - and please don’t even let a cauliflower within five feet of his plate.”
“Allergies?” Lucy asked with a worried frown.
“Idiosyncrasies,” Penny deadpanned. “Also, brown rice on the side - not white. And nothing on the plate can be seasoned. These are what we will require on the side: raspberry vinaigrette, low sodium soy sauce, salt, freshly ground pepper, a whole lemon with a knife - he’ll cut it himself - and some crushed chilli flakes.”
“What about the salad that comes with the meal?”
“No salad - he doesn’t do salad. Bring him a baked potato instead. Make sure there’s a dollop of sour cream and chopped chives on the side - nothing on the potato.”
“Wow.”
“No kidding. You want to read that back to me, sweetie?” Penny listened as she repeated the order verbatim. “Perfect - like I said - get this right, and he’ll be your biggest tipper. Oh, and I almost forgot - get him a diet coke - chilled, no ice, and if you could bring that whole lemon I mentioned now - that would be great - he’ll probably want a wedge with his drink. Oh, and for dessert - we’ll have the peach cobbler - lightly dusted with icing sugar and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream...”
“On the side?”
“You got it.”
“Okay, I’m on it,” Lucy steeled herself for the impending challenge and Penny smirked.
“Good girl!”
The rest of the table stared at her - completely dumbfounded - as Sheldon wound his way around the tables back to them. He took his seat across from Penny.
“The men’s room has an acceptable level of cleanliness,” he mused, rubbing his hands together. “They also had lotion.” Penny hid her smile behind her hand.
Sometimes it was downright scary how well she knew him.
The drinks arrived not long after, and Sheldon looked pleasantly surprised at his tall glass of diet cola and the whole lemon that accompanied it. He graciously thanked Lucy, who blushed, and hurried away not long after depositing a paring knife on a gleaming plate next to his glass.
“Thank you for ordering my drink, Penny.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Penny said as she pulled out her vibrating phone. She had just received a text from her sister, and she hit reply while Sheldon tried to get the waitress’ attention.
“Sorry, guys, but I just have to text my sister back - talk amongst yourselves and don’t mind me for a few minutes.”
“Isn’t she going to take my order?” Sheldon wondered aloud, as he read the menu.
“I ordered for you,” Penny absently informed him, her fingers flying over the text keypad of her phone.
“The cedar plank salmon well done?”
“Yes.”
“150 degrees Fahrenheit internal temperature - no hint of opaqueness?”
“Yes.”
“Roasted, not steamed, vegetables and brown, not white, rice on the side?”
“And no cauliflower. Yes.”
“Oh, I forgot about the cauliflower - thank you. Raspberry vinaigrette, low sodium soy sauce, salt, freshly ground pepper, crushed chilli flakes - this lemon is sufficient. Oh, and no salad?”
“Yes to everything.”
“What do I want instead of a salad?” he mused. “Hmmm. Maybe mashed potatoes?”
“You had that yesterday.”
“Oh, right - a baked potato then.”
“Sour cream and chives on the side.”
“Perfect. Thank you, Penny.”
“You’re welcome - oh, my sister says hello.”
“Kate or Sam?”
“Sam.”
“How was her chemistry test?”
“I just asked her that - B plus.”
“That is satisfactory.”
“More than satisfactory considering she was failing before. She says it’s all thanks to you, and she’s going to courier you a batch of her white chocolate walnut brownies.”
“I merely tutored her. And thank her in advance for the brownies - which I will not be sharing with you - so make sure you ask her to send you some as well.” Penny smirked.
“You tutored Penny’s sister in Omaha?” Leonard asked in surprise. “And she sends you brownies?”
“Yes, through Skype - the tutoring, not the brownies,” he answered vaguely. “I like the ambiance here. Good choice, Penny. Is this where you...?”
“Bought the peach cobbler? Yes,” she said, without taking her eyes from her phone.
“Excellent, then that’s what I’m having for dessert.”
“I already ordered it. Kate’s dating again.”
“Oh, good for her. I gather that makes you happy now? Icing sugar over top and à la mode?”
“Yes. And it does make me happy. She’s my sister - her happiness is important to me.”
“Hmm... I don’t really think about my sisters’ happiness.”
“That’s because they’re not unhappy - believe me, if they were - you would think about it.”
“I don’t see why it would bother me one way or the other.”
“I know you, Sheldon Cooper,” Penny sighed, putting her phone away, and looking defiantly at him, “for all your griping - it would bother you if a member of your family was unhappy. You might not want to share that with anyone but it would so bother you.”
“I suppose. Although what a waste of time and energy that would be.”
“It’s like watching the Sheldon and Penny Show,” she heard Howard mumble to Raj at the other end of the table. Raj nodded in awe, and after that Penny studiously avoided looking at them. It was bad enough that she had Cass’ stares to contend with. It was making her very uncomfortable, and yet - she didn’t get what the big deal was.
She had known Sheldon Cooper for four years.
Enough said.
Somehow, she didn’t feel very conversational at the moment, and she let the talk deviate into scientific waters for a little while. Then their food arrived. Lucy - with the assistance of another waiter - carefully laid out the various items in front of her and Sheldon, and then looked to Penny for approval. Penny’s sharp gaze took in all the dishes one by one, each one perfectly prepared and arranged exactly as per her instructions. She beamed up at Lucy.
“Excellent job, honey.”
“Thanks,” she replied with a relieved sigh as she darted a shy smile at Sheldon, and then scurried away.
“The service here is exemplary,” Sheldon stated, as he spread his napkin on his lap, “even if the waitress is somewhat skittish.”
Most of the meal passed with animated conversations about everything from superstring theory to superheroes. Penny’s mind actually glossed over huge chunks of the conversation - after knowing the guys for such a long time - she had heard most of this before.
She was absently staring out the window admiring the twinkling fairy lights that decorated the trees in the park across the street - they were just a couple of weeks from Christmas after all - when she noticed a couple walking hand in hand, smiling at each other and looking very much in love.
Penny sighed; when was she ever going to be in love like that? Where the person by your side is the only person you ever want by your side? For the rest of your life.
She did a double take when the man she was watching dropped to his knee in front of the woman he was with. They were silhouetted by the fountain they were standing beside - and with the lights all around them - the scene was magical. She grasped Sheldon’s hand where it lay on the table.
“Aww, look, Sheldon - he’s proposing,” she whispered excitedly, turning to Leonard with an excited smile and grasping him by the elbow. Everyone’s gaze followed her line of sight to the couple outside. “That’s so romantic,” she murmured, getting all choked up - a ridiculous reaction, but she was a sucker for stuff like this. As the man pulled out what was obviously a ring from his pocket and offered it up to the girl, Penny held her breath, waiting to see the woman’s response.
“Why is he engaging in this blatantly public display of his ardour?” Sheldon asked.
“Shhh...,” Penny’s hand involuntarily tightened its grip on Sheldon’s, and his thumb unconsciously curled around hers. She watched as the woman raised her hand to her face, wiping away tears; and blinked as tears sprang into her own eyes.
“She’s crying - obviously, her response is going to be negative.”
“No, it won’t be...”
“Why not?”
“Because Sheldon - we cry when we get proposed to,” Sheldon started; she could feel it from their clasped hands.
“Are you speaking from personal experience?”
“No. It’s just something we women do.”
“That makes no sense whatsoever...”
“She said yes! Oh! How wonderful!” Penny sighed happily, bouncing in her seat slightly as she turned to look at all of them, a little surprised that none of them looked as excited as she felt. She looked back at the happy couple; the man now twirled the woman about in his arms. It was cliché and the scene had played out like a sappy romantic film, but that didn’t make watching it any less touching.
The conversation at the table resumed where it had left off, but Penny still watched the couple as they kissed. They looked - even from a distance - joyous.
Something suddenly clicked into place in her head. She didn’t feel that way with Leonard. Her hand dropped from where it rested in the crook of his arm.
Granted, it was not a startling realization. They had hooked up when the guys had returned home from the arctic over a year ago, and had broken up and made up and broken up again since then. This most recent re-establishment of their relationship had been the result of a drunken night of ill-advised sex. He had read a lot more into it than she had, but she had been feeling so lonely and desperate for human connection, that she had just settled into being a couple again.
After all, even though Leonard could be cloying sometimes, basically he was a sweet guy and she did adore him, but being with him did nothing to fill the void in her soul.
She snapped to attention when their dessert arrived, and Lucy placed the peach cobbler in front of her. She smiled up at the girl but noticed the waitress’ gaze was on her hand, which while no longer clasped in Sheldon’s, was very near his hand, his thumb nestled beneath her index finger.
Penny blinked at her peach cobbler, and tried not to feel... anything.
“You didn’t answer my question before,” Sheldon told her as he tucked into his dessert.
“What question?”
“Why would he do something like propose marriage - which I am assuming is a rather intimate ritual - in such a public place?” Penny looked up at him as he chewed thoughtfully, obviously interested in her response, and vaguely aware that the others had stopped discussing something about a nano-whatsit, and were now looking at them. Penny nonchalantly moved her hand away from Sheldon’s and picked up her fork.
“Maybe they met in that park. Or maybe it was their special place to hang out - maybe that’s where they realized they were in love. Either it has some special significance to them or he thought it was a pretty place to propose with the fountain and twinkly lights,” she told him as she took a bite of her cobbler.
“It was kind of romantic,” Leonard pointed out.
“I suppose,” Cass concurred. “And now they enter into a new phase of their relationship - although I still don’t quite understand how a ring on your finger and a piece of paper can define a relationship paradigm for so many people. Common law relationships would work just as well.”
“But that’s not marriage,” Penny argued. “There’s a difference.”
“What are your thoughts on marriage, Sheldon? I’m assuming that at some point of your life you would contemplate taking a mate.” Cass asked him, a look of almost clinical curiousity on her face. Leonard, Howard and Raj exchanged amused looks.
“Here we go,” Leonard mumbled, smothering a smile. Penny bristled at the thought - taking a mate? What was he - livestock? She absolutely hated it when people just assumed Sheldon was unfeeling and unaware of anything that even remotely bordered on personal.
Then again, maybe she saw - admittedly small - glimpses of a side of him that no one else really looked for.
“I have to agree with Penny on this issue,” he said bluntly, surprising them all. Penny’s startled gaze briefly collided with his, before he addressed the table at large. “Of course, I strongly believe that I need to propagate my unique DNA with a suitable mate, but I also believe in the sanctity of the marriage bond. Although, I haven’t yet come to terms with the inevitable havoc it will wreck on my existence as I know it.” He shuddered.
“Not necessarily,” Leonard informed him, “you could essentially maintain separate yet fruitful lives and still uphold a marital bond. That’s what my parents did.”
“My parents as well,” Cass told them, “they had separate bedrooms and I can’t help but see only advantages to that scenario. My bedroom, for example, is my sanctuary. I can’t even imagine sharing it.”
“Here, here,” Sheldon agreed.
“Are you guys for real?” Penny exclaimed. “When two people love each other enough to get married, they actually like sharing things, you know? Like a bed? There’s nothing better than snuggling with someone you love.”
“Here, here,” Howard agreed with a leer at Penny. She glowered at him.
“But you don’t like to snuggle,” Leonard looked at her, bemused.
“I’m not talking about me,” Penny retorted, not quite meeting his eyes. “I meant generally. And my point was that it’s weird for a married couple to have separate bedrooms.”
“What if your partner is a loud snorer and you’re a light sleeper, or vice versa?” Cass countered.
“Or what if they wake up a lot during the night?” Sheldon asked with a pointed look at Leonard.
“I have sleep apnea!” Leonard snapped.
“I guess,” Penny shook her head. “I don’t know - I would think that if you loved each other - you’d want to be together - even while you were asleep.”
“But it would mean sharing your bed - and I don’t know about that,” Sheldon stated flatly.
“Oh, Sheldon,” Penny rolled her eyes at him. “It would just be a simple adjustment from sleeping right smack in the middle of a great, big bed like a mummy in a tomb thingie!”
“Sarcophagus.”
“Sarcophagus, right. All you would have to do is pick a side.”
“I like the middle - it’s the most comfortable spot.”
“You have more spots than a leopard.”
“Something my future wife would have to contend with.”
“God help her,” Howard quipped.
“God and his mother!” Penny added with a giggle. This time Sheldon rolled his eyes.
“Speaking of whom - she wants to you to call her tomorrow,” he took another bite of his pie. “Oh, and speaking of sarcophagi - did you get the email I sent you?”
“What email? And did she say why she wants me to call her?”
“I didn’t ask - who knows what you two talk about all the time? And the email was about the ancient Egyptian exhibit returning to the museum. That’s my second favourite...”
“Epoch!” Penny beamed at him, pleased that she remembered the word. He smiled a small smile.
“Good for you.”
“Hah! Yeah - I saw it on the news last night. I was going to ask if you wanted to go see it again. I had a lot of fun the last time we went to the museum. Oh! I know why she’s calling - we’re supposed to go over ideas for Missy’s bridal shower.”
“Oh - why you? And I thought we could go on Sunday.”
“Because I’m driving you to the wedding, remember? So I’m going to be there to help out. And Sunday’s great - although I want to stop for waffles first.”
“Done.”
“Good.”
“Wow.” This from Howard again. Raj nodded emphatically as he looked from Penny to Sheldon and back again. Penny avoided looking at Leonard and waved at Lucy, who was passing by, indicating they were ready for the cheque.
They left the restaurant not long after, and judging from the smile Lucy gave him, Sheldon had indeed tipped her well. Raj and Howard said their farewells - well, Howard speaking for them both - as the rest of them walked to Penny’s car. Cass had taken a cab to the restaurant from her hotel, so Penny offered to drop her off. She graciously accepted but seemed surprised when Sheldon, and not Leonard, opened the passenger-side door, and darted a questioning look at Leonard who shrugged and held the back door open for her.
“He gets motion sickness if he sits in the back. And nobody wants to deal with a sick Sheldon.”
“Oh,” Cass commented with a smirk as she got in.
“So, this collaboration between you and Sheldon - do you really think you’ll make significant strides in delineating stem cell signalling pathways?” Leonard asked as they all bucked in.
“Of course it will, Leonard. There are myriad applications to molecular physics. Especially in terms of cloning and immortalizing these cells for in vitro study,” Sheldon informed him.
Penny tuned out of the conversation, but when Sheldon was silent for a moment, as Cass and Leonard debated something sciency, she asked in him in a hushed voice: “Cloning? Isn’t that like - not physics?”
“That’s right,” Sheldon told her, “cloning is more of a molecular biological technique but we’re trying to enhance its efficacy.”
“You mean make it better?”
“Yes.” Penny smirked at him.
“Are you doing this to try and grow your own Leonard Nimoy?” Sheldon, who had been focused on the changing traffic lights as they came to a halt for the red, did a double-take and looked at her. Then his face broke into a singular, perfect grin. Penny giggled.
“Have you heard the old adage that great minds think alike?”
“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, still smiling.
“This is the first time I have felt an intellectual kinship with you, Penny,” he teased, his smile matching the playfulness of hers. Penny narrowed her eyes and mock-glared at him.
“Give me some time to blow the man down,” she sung under her breath, as she looked away.
But Sheldon heard her - and he... laughed.
She couldn’t keep a straight face, and soon they were both laughing while Cass and Leonard looked at them and each other in confusion. Penny calmed herself as the light turned green, but the smile stayed on her face.
It started less than a minute later. And it was harmonious and flawless - just like the first time.
“Come all ye young fellows that follow the sea...,” Sheldon started.
“...to my way hey, blow the man down,” Penny continued.
“And pray pay attention and listen to me...”
“Give me some time to blow the man down!”
“Here we go,” Leonard lamented, as Cass looked at him in bewilderment. Leonard hung his head, knowing the conversation had just been effectively terminated. He gave Cass a look of commiseration. “Don’t ask.”
“I’m a deep water sailor just come from Hong Kong...”
“...to my way hey, blow the man down...”
“If you’ll give me some whiskey, I’ll sing you a song...”
“Give me some time to blow the man down!”
***