The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (4/6)
***
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Sheldon waited for the bedroom door to open; Leonard - in the entire course of his dating Penny - had never once spent the entire night at her apartment.
And thankfully, he noted as the door cracked open to reveal a certain bleary-eyed roommate, this had not changed.
“Leonard, we’re going to be late for work - why are you not dressed yet?”
“I guess I must have turned off my alarm,” Leonard muttered. “Can you call Raj for a ride? I’m going in a little later.”
“Very well; although I don’t appreciate this change in my routine. There was no advanced notice and that is in direct violation of our contract.”
The door slammed in his face.
Sheldon huffed in indignation and went to collect his laptop bag - he would call Raj once he was downstairs. He couldn’t help but look over at Penny’s apartment as he closed the door behind him.
He stared at her door, not pausing to consider rhyme or reason for doing so, and he was startled when it opened suddenly.
“Sheldon.”
“Good morning, Penny.”
“Good morning. What were you doing?”
“Just leaving for work.” He allowed her to precede him down the stairs.
“Without Leonard?”
“He’s still abed.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“I was going to call Raj, but all right.”
“Are you okay, Sheldon?” She paused mid-step and looked up at him warily. “You seem a little pissed off.”
“My morning routine has been severely compromised by Leonard’s lack of punctuality, so forgive me if I seem a little pissed off.”
“Oh.”
“I would appreciate it if you not keep him up so late in the future,” he bristled, although how he got the words past his clenched jaw was a mystery, even to him. He positively itched for a confrontation right now, and his words were measured to push her buttons. “Especially on a work night.”
“I didn’t - it was over in a few minutes.” Sheldon did a double take at her absentminded statement. He was even more annoyed that she hadn’t risen to the bait.
“Isn’t it impolitic to kiss and tell as it were?” Pushing hadn’t worked - he shoved.
“What?” He watched as she mentally reviewed their conversation, and then put a hand over her eyes.
“I didn’t mean that! We just talked. I broke up with him last night.” She looked up at him, and he noticed something strange. There was no sadness in her eyes, maybe a little remorse, but no sadness. No - there was an odd resilience there that he hadn’t seen in a long time.
His irrational anger towards her fizzled.
“Are you all right?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. She smiled up at him.
“You know - I think I am. Although, I’m sorry that you have to deal with Leonard now. Because this time, it’s over for good.”
“Well, good for you. And as for dealing with Leonard, it won’t be the first time and it certainly won’t be the last. I will suggest to Wolowitz that they cheer him up in some frivolous manner that won’t require my participation.”
“That might be best,” she smirked as they walked out into the California sunshine.
“Would you be in need of a hug?” He didn’t know which part of his subconscious the question had come from, but his mouth said the words before his thought processes could complete their circuit.
She blinked in surprise, but when she smiled a second or two later - it was as if the sun itself had slipped from its place in the sky and dipped a little closer to earth. He actually glanced up at the sky to check - despite the absurdity of the idea.
But then Penny moved towards him, and his arms instinctively wrapped around her frame. Her arms wound around his neck and she sighed contently while he held his breath. There was no awkwardness about their hugs any more - she had taught him how to hug properly last Christmas; she refused to let him call it Saturnalia any more.
“If Raj and Howard get Leonard, do you want to hang out with me on Saturday?” she asked as he released her and they walked to her car.
“I can’t - Cass is taking me shopping.”
“What?” She came to an abrupt halt. “For what?”
“For a new suit,” he stoically informed her. “We’re attending a fundraising dinner on Saturday night - to try and secure funding for our upcoming collaboration - and she feels that my plaid suit is dated.”
“Oh,” she said softly as they got into the car, “you didn’t say anything to me about that.”
“Was it worthy of mention?”
“You buying a new suit and going out with Cass - yeah-huh!”
“Oh. I’m buying a new suit to go out to a fundraising dinner with Cass, Penny.” She glowered at him and he smirked.
“So, what time tomorrow night?”
“She’s picking me up at seven.”
“I guess new friends can be a good thing.”
“Oh, speaking of which - my friendship questionnaire is due after work today.”
“Holy crap - I forgot all about that.”
“Well, I suggest you get cracking, Penny,” he said with a hint of trepidation. “If you don’t hand it in - well, that’s an automatic disqualification!”
“Oh - I’ll hand it in all right!”
“I sense something is amiss.”
“You think, genius?” She glared at him. It was slightly scary, and he wasn’t quite sure what he had missed. Sometimes her mind had more convolutions than a maze.
“Penny, are you all right?”
“I’m freaking fantastic, Sheldon!” She declared, staring straight ahead as she turned onto Euclid Avenue. As they hit the first bump, Sheldon got the distinct impression that - maybe, just maybe - she wasn’t so freaking fantastic after all.
***
“Penny, do you know how to tie a tie?”
Penny, who was trying not to kill Howard for yet another inappropriate remark - the man was on fire tonight - turned to Sheldon in relief.
And then froze. Literally, figuratively - whatever. She turned to stone - and so did the three other men in the room.
Sheldon strode up to her holding out both ends of the tie he had around his neck. He tugged at the ends, indicating that she take over the tying process. Her hands didn’t move.
“Holy shit - Sheldon’s sexy.” This from a very stunned Howard.
“Duuuuudddeee. You’re hot.” This from a very un-inebriated Raj.
Leonard just stood at the kitchen island, dumbfounded, his coffee mug halfway to his mouth.
Penny couldn’t have moved if someone paid her. She just watched as Sheldon glared at the guys.
“Sarcasm?”
Howard walked up to them. “Sheldon, may I present Exhibit A.” He waved his hands next to Penny as if she was some prize to be had on The Price is Right. “This is going to be every woman’s reaction to you tonight. As long as you keep your mouth shut. Oh, man - you are my hero. If you don’t get some action tonight - the world as we know it will end.” He looked over at Raj. “Next time we go to Vegas, we are taking Sheldon and his suit.” Raj nodded so vehemently, his head was in danger of toppling off his shoulders.
“Don’t be ridiculous, as if I would engage in such an ill-advised activity as to visit Las Vegas with the likes of the three of you!” Sheldon scoffed. “Penny?” He tugged at the ends of his tie again, and Penny snapped to attention, her hands automatically reaching out and the tie practically knotted itself.
She took a small step back to survey Sheldon’s outfit as he shrugged into his jacket. His suit was a very dark grey, conforming to his body like it had been tailored for this sole purpose - to be worn by Sheldon Cooper; it was paired with a slate blue-grey shirt that exactly matched the colour of his eyes.
He was breathtakingly handsome - and Penny was certainly breathless - and completely flummoxed.
Of course, she had known that Sheldon was cute - she wasn’t blind - it was the first thing she noticed about him on the day they had first met. She had known that Sheldon was adorable - an annoying whack-a-doodle too, of course - but adorable in ways too numerous to count.
Now as she stared up at him, her hand still lingering on his tie, the warmth of his body warming her, she realized that Howard and Raj were right. He was most definitely sexy and hot. Him - Sheldon Cooper. Hot and Sexy.
Good grief.
Cass had outdone herself.
The thought gave her pause and before she knew it, it started bouncing off the walls of her mind like a mantra from hell. Cass and Sheldon. Sheldon and Cass. Tonight. Oh, God.
She plopped down on the couch.
“Penny,” Sheldon’s exasperation was immediate as he gave her a pointed look. She realized she was in his spot. She scooted over, and he took his seat, bending over to tie his shoelaces.
She peeked at his shoes - polished black loafers with crisp laces that his long fingers made short work of. She was losing her mind, she thought, how could she find a man’s shoes... sexy?
She leaned her head back against the sofa and tuned everything and everybody - well, almost everybody - out.
She stayed that way when Sheldon left not long after. She stayed that way as the boys followed - off to a bar - not long after that. In fact, she dozed off there, and didn’t awaken until she heard the door opening what had to be hours later.
***
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. “Leonard.”
Sheldon waited for the bedroom door to open; Leonard - in the entire course of his dating Penny - had never once spent the entire night at her apartment.
And thankfully, he noted as the door cracked open to reveal a certain bleary-eyed roommate, this had not changed.
“Leonard, we’re going to be late for work - why are you not dressed yet?”
“I guess I must have turned off my alarm,” Leonard muttered. “Can you call Raj for a ride? I’m going in a little later.”
“Very well; although I don’t appreciate this change in my routine. There was no advanced notice and that is in direct violation of our contract.”
The door slammed in his face.
Sheldon huffed in indignation and went to collect his laptop bag - he would call Raj once he was downstairs. He couldn’t help but look over at Penny’s apartment as he closed the door behind him.
He stared at her door, not pausing to consider rhyme or reason for doing so, and he was startled when it opened suddenly.
“Sheldon.”
“Good morning, Penny.”
“Good morning. What were you doing?”
“Just leaving for work.” He allowed her to precede him down the stairs.
“Without Leonard?”
“He’s still abed.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“I was going to call Raj, but all right.”
“Are you okay, Sheldon?” She paused mid-step and looked up at him warily. “You seem a little pissed off.”
“My morning routine has been severely compromised by Leonard’s lack of punctuality, so forgive me if I seem a little pissed off.”
“Oh.”
“I would appreciate it if you not keep him up so late in the future,” he bristled, although how he got the words past his clenched jaw was a mystery, even to him. He positively itched for a confrontation right now, and his words were measured to push her buttons. “Especially on a work night.”
“I didn’t - it was over in a few minutes.” Sheldon did a double take at her absentminded statement. He was even more annoyed that she hadn’t risen to the bait.
“Isn’t it impolitic to kiss and tell as it were?” Pushing hadn’t worked - he shoved.
“What?” He watched as she mentally reviewed their conversation, and then put a hand over her eyes.
“I didn’t mean that! We just talked. I broke up with him last night.” She looked up at him, and he noticed something strange. There was no sadness in her eyes, maybe a little remorse, but no sadness. No - there was an odd resilience there that he hadn’t seen in a long time.
His irrational anger towards her fizzled.
“Are you all right?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. She smiled up at him.
“You know - I think I am. Although, I’m sorry that you have to deal with Leonard now. Because this time, it’s over for good.”
“Well, good for you. And as for dealing with Leonard, it won’t be the first time and it certainly won’t be the last. I will suggest to Wolowitz that they cheer him up in some frivolous manner that won’t require my participation.”
“That might be best,” she smirked as they walked out into the California sunshine.
“Would you be in need of a hug?” He didn’t know which part of his subconscious the question had come from, but his mouth said the words before his thought processes could complete their circuit.
She blinked in surprise, but when she smiled a second or two later - it was as if the sun itself had slipped from its place in the sky and dipped a little closer to earth. He actually glanced up at the sky to check - despite the absurdity of the idea.
But then Penny moved towards him, and his arms instinctively wrapped around her frame. Her arms wound around his neck and she sighed contently while he held his breath. There was no awkwardness about their hugs any more - she had taught him how to hug properly last Christmas; she refused to let him call it Saturnalia any more.
“If Raj and Howard get Leonard, do you want to hang out with me on Saturday?” she asked as he released her and they walked to her car.
“I can’t - Cass is taking me shopping.”
“What?” She came to an abrupt halt. “For what?”
“For a new suit,” he stoically informed her. “We’re attending a fundraising dinner on Saturday night - to try and secure funding for our upcoming collaboration - and she feels that my plaid suit is dated.”
“Oh,” she said softly as they got into the car, “you didn’t say anything to me about that.”
“Was it worthy of mention?”
“You buying a new suit and going out with Cass - yeah-huh!”
“Oh. I’m buying a new suit to go out to a fundraising dinner with Cass, Penny.” She glowered at him and he smirked.
“So, what time tomorrow night?”
“She’s picking me up at seven.”
“I guess new friends can be a good thing.”
“Oh, speaking of which - my friendship questionnaire is due after work today.”
“Holy crap - I forgot all about that.”
“Well, I suggest you get cracking, Penny,” he said with a hint of trepidation. “If you don’t hand it in - well, that’s an automatic disqualification!”
“Oh - I’ll hand it in all right!”
“I sense something is amiss.”
“You think, genius?” She glared at him. It was slightly scary, and he wasn’t quite sure what he had missed. Sometimes her mind had more convolutions than a maze.
“Penny, are you all right?”
“I’m freaking fantastic, Sheldon!” She declared, staring straight ahead as she turned onto Euclid Avenue. As they hit the first bump, Sheldon got the distinct impression that - maybe, just maybe - she wasn’t so freaking fantastic after all.
***
“Penny, do you know how to tie a tie?”
Penny, who was trying not to kill Howard for yet another inappropriate remark - the man was on fire tonight - turned to Sheldon in relief.
And then froze. Literally, figuratively - whatever. She turned to stone - and so did the three other men in the room.
Sheldon strode up to her holding out both ends of the tie he had around his neck. He tugged at the ends, indicating that she take over the tying process. Her hands didn’t move.
“Holy shit - Sheldon’s sexy.” This from a very stunned Howard.
“Duuuuudddeee. You’re hot.” This from a very un-inebriated Raj.
Leonard just stood at the kitchen island, dumbfounded, his coffee mug halfway to his mouth.
Penny couldn’t have moved if someone paid her. She just watched as Sheldon glared at the guys.
“Sarcasm?”
Howard walked up to them. “Sheldon, may I present Exhibit A.” He waved his hands next to Penny as if she was some prize to be had on The Price is Right. “This is going to be every woman’s reaction to you tonight. As long as you keep your mouth shut. Oh, man - you are my hero. If you don’t get some action tonight - the world as we know it will end.” He looked over at Raj. “Next time we go to Vegas, we are taking Sheldon and his suit.” Raj nodded so vehemently, his head was in danger of toppling off his shoulders.
“Don’t be ridiculous, as if I would engage in such an ill-advised activity as to visit Las Vegas with the likes of the three of you!” Sheldon scoffed. “Penny?” He tugged at the ends of his tie again, and Penny snapped to attention, her hands automatically reaching out and the tie practically knotted itself.
She took a small step back to survey Sheldon’s outfit as he shrugged into his jacket. His suit was a very dark grey, conforming to his body like it had been tailored for this sole purpose - to be worn by Sheldon Cooper; it was paired with a slate blue-grey shirt that exactly matched the colour of his eyes.
He was breathtakingly handsome - and Penny was certainly breathless - and completely flummoxed.
Of course, she had known that Sheldon was cute - she wasn’t blind - it was the first thing she noticed about him on the day they had first met. She had known that Sheldon was adorable - an annoying whack-a-doodle too, of course - but adorable in ways too numerous to count.
Now as she stared up at him, her hand still lingering on his tie, the warmth of his body warming her, she realized that Howard and Raj were right. He was most definitely sexy and hot. Him - Sheldon Cooper. Hot and Sexy.
Good grief.
Cass had outdone herself.
The thought gave her pause and before she knew it, it started bouncing off the walls of her mind like a mantra from hell. Cass and Sheldon. Sheldon and Cass. Tonight. Oh, God.
She plopped down on the couch.
“Penny,” Sheldon’s exasperation was immediate as he gave her a pointed look. She realized she was in his spot. She scooted over, and he took his seat, bending over to tie his shoelaces.
She peeked at his shoes - polished black loafers with crisp laces that his long fingers made short work of. She was losing her mind, she thought, how could she find a man’s shoes... sexy?
She leaned her head back against the sofa and tuned everything and everybody - well, almost everybody - out.
She stayed that way when Sheldon left not long after. She stayed that way as the boys followed - off to a bar - not long after that. In fact, she dozed off there, and didn’t awaken until she heard the door opening what had to be hours later.
***