My life could be a reality tv show...this year woulda been a particularly good season

[the___fury]

I keep trying to find reasons to exist. I would like to think I'm not the only one. I feel singled out somehow by some sort of negative cosmic karma. Then again I really don't think I deserve this. It's not even so much that I still feel like I need to be in that emotionally torturing relationship, I don't even miss it and I know that I don't want

Comments

[anonymous]

oh Mal, Mal, Mal. Sometimes we think too much, or maybe I should speak for myself and say "I think too much." I, too, woke up with that whole "why the fuck am i here?" feeling. It's always the same; it starts with "why am i here", and all of the possible answers have the same kind of reasoning, with the same flaw. If the answer is, for instance, "to help other people" then that holds me over for a while, but eventually i come to the realization of "if my job is to help people, then why are they here?..to be helped?..that sounds pretty fucked up too, eh?" And i usually analyze it further, but to no satisfying avail. Maybe the answer is we're here for the sake of being here - living for life's sake; life is it's own purpose with it's own satisfaction, and experiences are just some sort of cog in the machine of it all. Maybe. I wish I had a final answer to it, but i'm sorry Mallory..i don't.

and I'm not sure what made me get over it this time, probably the same mysterious whatever-the-hell-it-is that made it all go away every