(Untitled)

[the_ameneko]

Another fic posted elsewhere. Mini summary: Slave runs away, both he and his master have epiphanies. As Close as Hands and Feet on orig_slavefic.

This might one day become a complete story, but for now, this is all it is.

Comments

[anonymous]

Hi!

I read your fic and it's good - complex emotions and relationship, and a new perspective on some slavefic tropes for me. The furries are strange but interesting.

You asked for feedback; I don't usually do this but this time I am tempted, because your good fic does not need the few tiny blemishes that it has :) So:

He supposed Avoe might be right

Lukin did not deign to comment. (Lukin did not condescend to comment)
or
Lukin refused to comment.

Also, it was often very hard to tell who 'he' was in the sentences. I could have used quite a few more names to tell me who was doing what and when. You need just so many names that it is always clear, and no more.

And that's it! I do hope I have not offended in any way, that was never my intention. Happy continued writing!

[the_ameneko]

Thank you so much! I'll fix it tonight. No offense taken at all; I love this kind of comment. Especially when it's prefaced by such nice things. :)