the world has it's shine (i would drop it on a dime) [3/4]
Just in time for Valentine's Day - the Angsty chapter! May you all be happier than Scorpius on this fine holiday.
the world has its shine (i would drop it on a dime) [3/4]
otempora01, rated PG-13 for kissing, swearing, sexual situations, and Al’s virgin eyes (although this chapter strays a bit more toward R).
Harry Potter, AS/S, m/m, post-series.
Scorpius may have joined the Aurors of his own free will, but he stayed for Albus Severus.
Part 3 complete in 8,576 words.
*
There’s something I’ve been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of they have filled me up with doubt
How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew I threw it all away
-Breathing by Yellowcard
*
Al gave up on trying to sleep around five o’clock in the morning. He dressed as silently as he could, grabbed his old Oblivion 180, and headed out onto the street. He’d left the broom Scorpius had gave him in his Mum’s old room at the Burrow, unable to bring himself to return there despite what he’d said. He’d heard Scorpius Apparate out the room, but Al didn’t think he’d ever be able to pass that room without feeling like he wanted to retch.
His throat closed up as his mind bombarded him with images and sensations-the feel of Scorpius’ tongue in his mouth, the heated look in Scorpius’ eyes as Al pulled him down for another kiss-and he could feel himself hyperventilating. Casting a quick concealment charm, he hopped on his broom and raced away as though he could leave his brain behind him.
The skies were overcast, typical for the last day of April, and the slight chill helped to clear Al’s head a little. At the very least, he didn’t feel like throwing up anymore.
Al floated on his broom high over the rooftops and tried to think. He’d snogged his male best friend (or ex-best friend). It might even have gone past snogging if his mother and her sixth sense for when her children were getting themselves into some sort of trouble hadn’t called his name and snapped him out of it.
He, Albus Severus Potter, had snogged a boy. He’d gotten a stiffy for a boy. Sure, he’d always thought Scorpius was attractive, but there were plenty of attractive blokes in the world that Al had no desire to snog. James was an attractive guy, but that didn’t mean Al would shag him if they weren’t related!
A headache began to pound behind his eyes and he could feel his cake threatening to come back up if he continued along this train of thought. He was not a shirtlifter. He’d had girlfriends before and he’d snogged them all the time. He’d never even considered Scorpius as a potential lover before. Not until-
Stomach heaving, Al dived for the ground in a wronski feint that would make his father proud, jumped off his broom, and threw up in the bushes of a house a mile away from his own.
Al knelt there on the sidewalk for a long time, just breathing and trying to think. Or not trying to think. Thinking was bad when all he could think about was Scorpius’ lips and hands.
He got himself back under control and stood, climbing back onto his broom. It took him a couple of seconds to remember that he had to decide where he wanted to go before the broom would move and, with a shake of his head, Al headed back home.
He smelled breakfast as he entered Grimmauld Place, leaving his broom in the hall. His dad was in the kitchen, making bacon and eggs. Al, mouth still tasting of bile, felt sick from the smell.
“You were out early,” Harry Potter said, flipping the bacon with a spatula. “Something on your mind?”
“I-no. No, I just… couldn’t sleep…”
“Ginny told me that the Malfoy kid left early from your party last night. Did you two have a fight?”
Al, who would have usually responded with a reminder that ‘the Malfoy kid’ had a first name, stiffened. “Something like that. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough. Take a seat. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
“Actually, Dad, I think I’ll go back to bed,” said Al with a weary sigh, already shuffling toward the door. “I’m not hungry anyway.”
“If you’re sure.”
Al stopped in the doorway, biting his lip as he considered the risk of asking the question that was burning on his tongue. He felt hot and cold all over, twice as nauseous as before, but he forced himself to turn. “Dad… say, hypothetically, one of your sons turned out to be… er… to, er… fancy… other blokes. Would… would you, er, disown them for it?”
Harry shut off the stove and scraped the bacon and eggs onto a large plate. He put the frying pan in the sink, pushed his glasses up on his nose, and cleared his throat.
“Alright, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but,” Harry gestured for Al to take a seat, which he did, albeit warily. “Al, I love you very much. You know that. It’s no business of mine whether you want to have it on with girls or with boys or-”
“Dad!” said Al, alarmed. “Not me! It was-it was a hypothetical situation! And, anyway, I could mean James!”
Harry tried to hide his laugh in a cough, but it was an extremely unsuccessful attempt. “Right. Well, I love your brother very much and it’s no business of mine whether he wants to have it on with girls or with boys or with Veelas or whatever. My kid is my kid. I only hope he exercises good judgment when it comes to life partners, because so many girls-I mean, boys-would use Jamie to get a spread in Witch Weekly and that’s just wrong.”
“What about Mum? D’you think she might be mad?”
“I doubt it. Ginny’s an open-minded girl. Sometimes.”
Al fell silent as his father sent Kreacher to retrieve Lily and Ginny for breakfast. Harry and Ginny Potter weren’t exactly model examples of the Pureblood thought process-after all, Harry was a half-blood and Ginny was, supposedly, a blood traitor-but he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. Even if the Malfoys did find out that their son was a shirtlifter, they probably wouldn’t disinherit him.
“I know we’re talking hypothetically about your brother,” said Harry as he got the extra plates. “But if you do think you might fancy boys over girls, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
“I’m going back to bed,” Al stood and ran for the door, clutching his stomach. He barely made it to the toilet in time.
It was Thursday before Scorpius ventured out of his room for something other than food, water, or using the toilet.
Louis had never wanted to throttle a person more than he wanted to throttle his cousin Albus. Scorpius was usually a fairly reserved person, calm, gentle, quietly amused. Now, he was like a ghost, wandering around the house without really seeing anything or saying anything. Louis had tried numerous times to engage him in conversation, but it was, essentially, like talking to a brick wall and now he just checked on Scorpius every now and then to make sure he hadn’t committed suicide in there.
Louis was idly doodling on a sheet of paper when the bedroom door opened. He didn’t look up, expecting Scorpius to go to the toilet or the kitchen and then go right back to the bedroom. It came as a complete surprise when Scorpius sat down right next to him.
“You look like shit,” said Louis tactfully, setting down his quill. It wasn’t a lie. The bags beneath Scorpius’ eyes seemed to have gotten worse-probably because Scorpius hadn’t been sleeping well-and he still looked very pale. He was wearing an old t-shirt and the same black silk pajama pants, his eyes lacking a certain spark. The certain spark Al had always put there.
Scorpius managed a smile that was almost painful to look at. “At least with me it’s only temporary. What’s your excuse?”
If Scorpius was feeling well enough to be snarky, he would be okay. Louis was surprised at the sheer amount of relief he felt.
“I’m adorable and you know it,” he said, returning the smile.
Scorpius glanced past him to the doodle, blinking. “Hey, that’s really good,” he said, sliding the paper out from under the quill to get a better look. Louis had been brooding on being sent to Romania which had culminated in a doodle of a dragon baring a close resemblance to the one on his arse cheek, but with a spin to it-the dragon was playing Exploding Snap for cigarettes.
He shrugged. “I was bored out here by myself. I don’t supposed you want to play a game?”
Again, he expected Scorpius to decline and head back to his room and, again, he was surprised when Scorpius did not.
“I’m not playing you for money, though,” he clarified. “If you’ve gotten good enough to acquire your rent like this, I might go bankrupt.”
Louis got to his feet and headed to his bedroom to get the cards. Had he been anyone else, he might have asked how Scorpius was dealing with That Albus Effect or when Scorpius planned on going back to Auror training. But Louis had spent long enough with Scorpius to know that he talked about things on his own time and pushing him would only cause him to close himself off even more. Louis had never been a pusher, which was probably another reason he and Scorpius got on so well, but for once he was curious.
Scorpius toying with the quill when Louis returned. “Can I keep it? The doodle, I mean.”
“Sure,” Louis said, already beginning to shuffle the cards. “You sure you don’t want to play for money? You can help me pay this month’s rent or buy a new pair of boots.”
Scorpius gave him a look almost on par with the ones he’d given before Al’s birthday party. It was tinged with exhaustion, but it was still a look.
Louis smiled. “Fine, no money. Just try not to cry when I win.”
“I’ve done enough crying the last few days,” said Scorpius with a vague, bitter smile that faded as soon as it appeared.
Louis paused in shuffling the cards, seeing his opening and taking it. “Are you alright? I mean, really alright? I’m sure Al didn’t mean to-”
“Tell me to go and bugger myself after he snogged me? How could that not have been intentional?”
Louis thought on it for a very long time. Then he simply began to pass out the cards.
“Exactly,” said Scorpius dryly. “The way I see it, I can wallow in my room for the rest of my life, or I can cut my losses and move on. I don’t need Al to make me happy.”
“But he does make you happy,” Louis felt the need to mention. Scorpius slapped a card down by his hand, raising a warning eyebrow as it exploded. Louis, knowing how easily that could have been his hair or eyebrows, wisely fell silent.
You don’t forget people with this much control over your emotions that easily, he thought but didn’t say. I don’t think you ever do.
Rose was transporting an armful of prophecies to the Department of Mysteries when she nearly tripped over her despondent cousin. Catching an orb before it fell, she stopped and stared down at Albus Severus, debating whether or not she had time to stop and find out what was wrong. Her supervisors didn’t really like their incoming prophecies to spend too much time out in the open.
Then again, Al was her cousin. Of course she’d risk it.
Rose carefully sat down next to him, transporting the orbs to her lap, and placed a hand on Al’s shoulder. “Hey, you. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Al mumbled, rubbing at his red eyes. “I just didn’t feel like going to training today, that’s all.”
“Tell me another,” Rose snorted. “You love Auror training almost as much as you do our family. If you’re not there, you’re dead, critically ill, or upset about something on par with the death of a family member. Grandma Molly’s alright, isn’t she?”
Al looked quite like he wanted to smile, but his face had forgotten how. He gave up and rested his chin on his drawn-in knees. “At the party, something… something happened. Between me and Scorp-ius.”
Rose lifted an eyebrow and removed her hand. She’d sometimes thought that Al had forgotten that Scorpius had two more syllables to his name. “A fight?”
“No. Not… not a fight. Well, okay, there was a fight, but that came after…”
“After what?”
Al ducked his head, his voice getting tiny and quiet, “After I snogged him.”
Abject surprise was probably not the reaction Al wanted. Rose had to tell herself that five times before she could even attempt to respond. She’d always thought that Scorpius Malfoy had a thing for her brother-anyone who watched them interact could probably tell-but it had seemed impossible to her that Al would ever return those feelings. Al had a big heart and a small brain that sometimes prohibited him from being able to connect those sorts of dots.
Rose realized that now was not an appropriate time to get lost in her own thoughts and shook herself out of it. “Ah-well, then… what… how did Scorpius react to… to the kiss?” Al turned an interesting shade of red. Rose bit her lip to hold in a giggle. “That well, huh? So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is I’m not a poufter!” Al said as though it should be obvious. “And Scorpius might be and he probably thinks I am because I snogged him and I didn’t mean to-”
“Then why did you?”
“I don’t bloody know!” shouted Al with rising frustration. “It just happened. He’d just given me the best birthday present ever, as usual, and I was hugging him for it, as usual, and then we were sort of staring at each other and I remember thinking that… that he smelled really good and I’d never seen his eyes turn that shade of grey before…”
Al trailed off into what could almost be interpreted as a dreamy silence. Rose was no expert on affairs of the heart, but her cousin sounded like he had it bad for Scorpius, sexuality crisis or no sexuality crisis. She would have told him so, but she had no idea whether it would only exacerbate the situation. Boys were delicate and foolish creatures. One had to manipulate them into thinking something was their idea if they were to ever get anything done.
Rose cleared her throat. “Well, if you’re so worried about Scorpius thinking you’re a poufter, then why don’t you go and tell him you’re not a poufter?”
“But what if he’s a poufter?”
“Does it matter?”
Al genuinely thought about it then, slowly, he shook his head. “He’s still my-was my-best mate, no matter who he’s shagging.”
“Brilliant. Go and tell him that, then, and get your Scorp back. And, if you don’t mind, next time you want to talk, come and find me directly. You nearly made me crack some of these.”
Al grabbed a few of the orbs and helped her to her feet, then carefully arranged them in her arms again. He looked considerably happier, a determined gleam in his eyes. “Thanks, Rosie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Brood yourself to death, most likely. See you later.”
The first person Al saw when he Apparated into Scorpius’ flat was Louis. Louis was sitting on the couch, shirtless and damp as if he’d just gotten out of the shower, the towel under him catching the water dripping down his chest and arms. A pair of draw-string trousers hung low on his hips and he was flicking a silver lighter open and closed.
His entire face lit up when he saw Al. “Thank Merlin. He’s become an absolute menace since you two had that fight. I’m this close to putting my foot through his teeth!”
Al had heard similar complaints back at school and was none too pleased to hear it now. He squared his shoulders and opened his mouth to inform Louis that he hadn’t exactly come to kiss and make up when the bathroom door opened and Scorpius stepped out in all his bare-bottomed glory, squinting around the room.
“You took my towel, you wank-” hissed Scorpius until he spotted Al and stopped short. “Oh.”
“Oh,” Al repeated, his eyes trapped on Scorpius’ hipbone. The letters A.S.P. stood out in black in on the pale skin, a red-eyed snake curled around them. He swallowed. “So, that’s where it was. Huh.”
Louis took the opportunity to pull Scorpius’ towel out from under himself and toss it at Scorpius’ head. It smacked him on the cheek, startling him out of his reverie and, covering the tattoo with a hand, he disappeared into the bedroom.
Oddly calm, Al looked over at his cousin. “Why are you all wet?”
“Why don’t you ask Scorpius?” Louis replied, picking up a day-old copy of the Prophet. “There’s no lock on that door.”
Al hesitated only a moment before crossing the room and pushing open the door. Scorpius was fully dressed in his black silk pajama bottoms and a white shirt, his glasses on and his back turned. He didn’t move or speak as Al came in and carefully shut the door behind him.
The silence was unbearably awkward, but Al had no idea what to say. Scorpius had his initials tattooed on his hip. When Scorpius had been drunk enough to permanently ink his body, Al had been the first thing to pop into his mind. Before the kiss, that would have been vaguely sweet. Now Al didn’t know what to think.
For lack of something better, he fell back on his initial reason for coming. “How long have you been a-I mean, how long have you known you… fancy boys…?”
Scorpius stared at the wall for a moment more before turning enough for Al to get a good look at his face. There were bags under his eyes and clumps of blond hair sticking up or sticking down in various states of disarray and his skin seemed paler than ever before. Al felt instantly guilty.
“If you have a problem with me being ‘like that’,” Scorpius said with a bitter edge to his voice. “Then you can just leave right now, Albus. I don’t need that kind of friend.”
“I don’t have a problem with your sexuality!”
“Then what is your problem? It can’t be the tattoo. You didn’t even know about it until today.”
“Why do you have my initials on your hip anyway?” Al snapped on a burst of anger fueled by his increasing level of discomfort. “Louis got a dragon. What, were they out of magical creatures?”
Scorpius laughed derisively. “You are such an idiot.”
“An idiot whose initials you have tattooed on your hip.”
“Shut up about that. I told you I was pissed.”
“Last time I was pissed, my first thought wasn’t to go have your name tattooed on or around my backside!”
“Why did you kiss me?”
Al’s retort died in his throat at the sudden subject change. His lips moved uselessly but no words came out and, even if they had, he was sure they would have been incoherently structured. How could Scorpius be asking him that? Al had been trying as hard as he could to forget that night. He didn’t want to talk about it.
“This was a mistake,” he said, turning and grabbing the doorknob. “I shouldn’t have come.”
He only managed to get the door open a crack before an arm reached past his head and slammed it shut. Al turned back around to meet Scorpius glare-for-glare, keeping one hand on the knob.
“So that’s it then?” asked Scorpius, apparently unmindful of the change in proximity. Al, on the other hand, could think of nothing else. The anger in his eyes and the set of his jaw seemed to have a significant impact on Scorpius’ appearance, bringing life back into his face. It was sort of beautiful. “That’s all it took to end an eight year friendship? One snog?”
“That’s not what I want,” Al said, unable to look at Scorpius any longer. His head hurt and his stomach heart and his chest was beginning to hurt as well. “I just don’t-I don’t understand-”
Scorpius dropped his arm, but didn’t bother to move back. Al let go of the doorknob. He could still feel the heat radiating off Scorpius’ body and it was making him lightheaded.
“Fine. You want to know about my tattoo, Al?” Scorpius said without waiting for the twitch of a nod Al gave in reply. His tone was flat, his face impossible to read. “It was a couple of weeks before I was due to come back here. I’d just sent in my Auror application and Louis decided that we had to celebrate by going to his favorite bar. That’s where the being pissed part comes in.
“So we’re wandering the streets of Paris at about three in the morning when Louis spots a Muggle tattoo shop and says we should get a matched set to top off the night. He knew he wanted that dragon the instant he saw it on the wall, but I couldn’t decide. And then the tattoo artist-Gary, in case you’re curious-gave me the suggestions, y’know, MUM, a rose, all that rot. And then he said that a lot of people came in and got their lovers’ names inked in.”
Al’s eyes widened, but Scorpius clearly wasn’t finished. He stared at a point somewhere over Al’s shoulder.
“I’m pretty sure he thought Louis and I were together, but all I could think about right then was that I was going home and you might not even speak to me. That we’d never be friends like we were back at school and I’d never get to tell you how I felt. I wanted to remember the times I was lying next to you in your four-poster and talking about everything or when we were in the library eating chocolate frogs behind our Potions textbooks. I wanted to keep a piece of you with me, no matter what. So I had A.S.P. tattooed on my hip.”
“What,” Al’s throat was dry and his voice sounded like he hadn’t used it in days. He swallowed and tried again. “What are you trying to say?”
The anger intensified. “I’m in love with you, you bloody moron! I don’t know how I can make this any clearer! I came back to London for you, I became an Auror for you, I kissed you back because I love you. Merlin, you’re dense!”
Scorpius ran a hand through his hair and began to withdraw, muttering angrily to himself, but Al caught him by the front of the shirt and pulled him forward until their foreheads were resting against one another, his eyes sliding shut.
“Why is Louis all wet?” Al whispered, the warmth of Scorpius’ breath on his face easing that ache in his chest just a little bit.
“Jealous?” Scorpius replied as their lips met. Al shut off the part of his mind that was telling him that this was a bad idea and the part of his mind that was asking him why he was doing this again and just focused on the kiss.
Scorpius was making no attempt to respond, but Al could feel him shaking. He opened his eyes and tilted his head to brush a kiss along Scorpius’ jaw line. “What if I am jealous?”
Scorpius laughed breathlessly although they had yet to really do anything. “What are you doing, Al? I can’t-if you’re not going to-do you have any idea what you’re-”
Al kissed him to shut him up. The second kiss was full of desperation and need. Al was desperate to keep Scorpius from finishing those sentences. He needed to get rid of that throbbing pain where his heart was supposed to be. He just wanted so much and so badly it hurt and he didn’t know why.
Scorpius caved in with a groan that was almost agonized and pressed Al back up against the door, licking into his mouth. Al’s breath hitched as he returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around Scorpius’ waist to keep them both anchored through this.
We should stop, Al thought as Scorpius nibbled a spot just behind his ear, mouth falling open on a moan, This isn’t-I just wanted to-Why does this feel so good?
Scorpius pulled away with a gasp, covering his eyes with a hand and laughing again. “Bloody buggering hell, Al.”
“Don’t stop,” Al begged, reaching for him again. Scorpius evaded his hands, stepping back until the whole room separated them. Al’s pulse was pounding in his ears and all his blood was in his prick, making it a little hard to think of anything but getting Scorpius’ tongue back in his mouth. “Please-”
“No. Do you even realize how-how unfair this is?”
Al felt the sudden urge to cry. “I just-”
“I love you, Al,” Scorpius said quietly. “But I can’t do this. It hurts. You don’t know what you want and I don’t want to have you for however long it takes you to come to your senses and decide that you’re not ‘like that.’ If you’re randy, go find yourself a girl who doesn’t feel as much for you as I do because I can’t be that person. I refuse.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“Well, until you can tell me what this is, we’re done. I think you should leave.”
Al searched for something to say, some way to explain himself. He’d been on fire a moment ago and felt like he could do anything. Now the parts of him that didn’t feel cold were numb and he could feel tears building behind his eyes. He mumbled something that might have been a goodbye and groped for the doorknob.
“What is wrong with you?” Louis asked, making no attempt to hide the Extendable Ear in his hands.
Instead of answering, Al wiped at his eyes and Apparated home. Why bother? That was just another question he didn’t know the answer to.
To explain his absence from training, Al ate some of the Fever Fudge he’d gotten from James and spent the next two days confined to his room with Lily making frequent trips in to check on him.
Al was almost in awe of how big an idiot he was. He’d gone over to Scorpius’ flat to tell him that he wasn’t a shirtlifter and instead he’d kissed him again? There had to be something wrong with him.
“According to this,” said Lily, reading the leaves in the teacup Al had drained a few minutes ago. “Not only are you going to die incredibly soon, but you’ll probably be stabbed. And by someone you love, too. You didn’t set my cards on fire again, did you? Because I don’t feel like committing murder.”
Al ignored her, curling into a ball and trying to breathe past the ache in his chest that refused to fade. Scorpius had Al’s initials tattooed on his hipbones. Scorpius was in love with him. And now Scorpius thought that Al saw him as some sort of-of booty call and it was all Al’s fault. He wasn’t sure what he thought of Scorpius anymore, but that certainly wasn’t it.
He just couldn’t seem to stop himself. That was the problem. Scorpius had been his best friend for years and now Al couldn’t get through a single combination without wanting to kiss him. The room went suddenly out of focus and Al was surprised to reach up and find himself crying.
There had to be something seriously wrong with him.
“Ugh,” Lily said, sounding exasperated. “I wish James were here. At least he’s good for a laugh when he’s sick, wailing and whining about how he’s going to die. You’re so boring, Albus.”
Al listened to her gather up the teacup and the tray and waited until he heard the door open and close before allowing himself to sniffle. He groped for a tissue on the bedside table and closed his fingers around a magazine instead. It was the copy of Witch Weekly that Rose had given him for his birthday, open to James’ interview. His brother smirked up at him in glossy black and white, looking very pleased with himself and occasionally signaling for the reader to call him. Al’s smile was watery as he scanned the article.
…member of the infamous Weasley-Potter clan, a family so large it puts most Pureblood family trees to shame. When asked how his family has been supporting him as he navigates the Cannons through the new combined European Quidditch League, James smiled.
“Oh, they’ve been brilliant, all of them. I get good practice doing one-on-one matches and flying contests with my little brother, Al. We’re always trying to show one another up because I’m bigger and have to be better, you know?” said James with a laugh. “But Al keeps me on my toes. He’s a smart kid and I love him to death. Don’t tell my sister, Lily, but Al’s always been my favorite.”
Lily had been absolutely outraged when she’d read the article, screaming something about her inner Eye predicting death and dismemberment in James’ future, but Al had been ecstatic.
He ran a finger over the picture-James’ messy hair, sized by a sudden desire to see his brother again. He hadn’t actually seen James since the last time the Cannons had actually played a game in their home stadium and Ron had taken the whole family. He wondered what James was up to, if he’d be even remotely interested in Al’s problems and if he’d even be able to help. James may have thought he was Merlin’s gift to the wizarding world, but that wasn’t necessarily true.
Al reached under his bed and pulled out his Skiving Snack box, popping the antidote end of the Fever Fudge in his mouth. He next looked for a quill and a piece of parchment. When all else failed, there was James.
James Potter was notorious for loving to go out and party with his teammates, but he hadn’t been seen in a pub for nearly three days. “I have better things to do,” he usually said when asked, but tonight he was starting to wish he’d chosen to go out after all.
“I hate chess,” he said petulantly as Teddy’s queen massacred his rook. “You know I hate chess. You’re going back to London tonight and you want to play bloody chess?”
Teddy, who had sent his article back to the Prophet by owl post that morning and was taking his good sweet time in getting back to London, raised a hot pink eyebrow at him. Teddy’s spiky hair was hot pink in the front and jet black in the back to hide the singed hair that had yet to grow out. He was wearing a large, sleeveless blue shirt that said SEE YOU LATER INNOVATOR bold black letters, black boxers, and no socks. He had a pair of combat shoes on the floor by the dresser, written all over in white ink a la Louis.
Teddy was saying something likely smart-arsed in reply, but James was staring at his hair. His hair-like his eyes-was supposed to be brown, but James rarely saw it that way. Teddy’s hair was almost like a living thing on his head. Sure, Teddy could change anything about his appearance, but it was his hair he changed most often of all. A dazzling red, a deep blue, a light purple-what use did he have for dye when his hair had a built in spectrum of colors?
“James,” Teddy said, interrupting his musing. “It’s your turn.”
James looked down at the chessboard then, maturely, swept off the pieces and knocked the board aside with his foot.
Teddy was trying very hard not to smile. “I win by default.”
“I don’t care,” James said and kissed him. Teddy laughed against his lips as James crawled into his lap and wrapped his arms around Teddy’s shoulders, eyes sliding shut. It only took the feel of James’ tongue sliding over his bottom lip to turn Teddy’s chuckles into gasps. James, feeling quite pleased with himself, reached down to place Teddy’s hands firmly on his arse, then slid his tongue between Teddy’s parted lips.
Teddy tasted like the hot chocolate they’d ordered from room service and the bad Bertie Bott flavors they’d dared one another to eat. Teddy’s tongue brushed against his own, eliciting a pleased groan from a sexually frustrated James, and he shifted into just the right spot for James to rut shamelessly against him.
“Merlin,” Teddy broke the kiss to breath heavily against James’ hair, thrusting his hips up to meet James’. “Why is it… that every time I-ah-see you… we always end up-”
“I’m incredibly fit,” James said in between the open-mouthed kisses he was placing on Teddy’s neck. “And also-mmm-I give really good head.”
Teddy swore and came.
James laughed breathlessly and increased his movements. Teddy nudged his head up and nibbled along his throat, sliding a hand down the front of James’ trousers to wrap around him. James had to bite down on his lip to keep from releasing an embarrassing squeak.
As though reading his mind, Teddy smirked. His hair turned a devilish shade of red as he pumped his hand rapidly, catching James’ every moan, groan, and whimper with his mouth. James kissed him back desperately, thrusting into Teddy’s hand, feeling more and more overwhelmed until the hotel door opened and one of the hotel managers took one look at them and screamed in surprise.
James, unable to stop it, clapped a hand over his mouth as he suffered through an orgasm he was too mortified to enjoy.
“You, too?!” said another voice that only made the situation worse. “All of a sudden you have to be a poufter, too? What is this, a bloody epidemic?!”
James lifted his pounding head just in time to see Al turn and storm away in a fit of righteous anger while the pale hotel manager cleared her throat and whispered, “Your brother’s here to see you, Mr. Potter.”
Thankfully, she closed the door behind her.
Teddy tugged his hand out of James’ pants and almost ran it through his hair before he realized what he was doing and wiped it on the sheets instead. “You should go after him,” Teddy said, cheeks red. “I’ll wait here.”
James got up, changed his trousers, and washed his hands, feeling very awkward. He hadn’t exactly been planning to tell his family about him and Teddy and he was even less excited by the prospect now that he’d seen Al’s reaction. He’d always thought that with Scorpius Malfoy for a friend Al would probably be the most open-minded, Louis notwithstanding, but apparently not…
“I’ll be back,” he said, stealing one last kiss from Teddy before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.
Al was sitting on the carpet two doors down, staring despondently at the floor. It was one of his odd habits to find a quiet place to sit and mope and, since Al had just left in anger a few minutes ago, James could only assume that something else was bothering his brother.
James sat down against the opposite wall and cleared his throat. “So, er, how’d you get here?”
“Flooed in to one of the wizarding pubs,” Al answered tonelessly. “It wasn’t that hard to find the one Muggle hotel in Falmouth that had a bunch of rowdy men in orange and black robes staying in it. Your manager recognized me and told the hotel manager to send me up and, well, you know.”
“Right,” James shifted, uncomfortable. “So…”
Al glanced up at him then just as quickly looked away. “I didn’t mean what I said. You and Teddy’ve always been close and it’s none of my business if you want to… do things with him. It’s just… I thought you liked girls.”
“I do like girls. But I love Teddy. There’s a significant difference.” When Al made no reply, James crawled over to his side of the hallway and sat down next to him. “Alright, Albus Severus Potter, out with it. What’s going on that tiny little mind of yours? Teddy’s got to go back to London in a few hours and you’re wasting precious time.”
“Since when have you and Teddy been a, er, a couple? I mean, how’d it happen? I always thought… I mean, you went out with all those… When did you figure out that you loved Teddy?”
James blinked, but Al was picking at the carpet and refused to say any more. His brows furrowed. “Er, I think it was… It was after I broke up with Dolly, that one model with the-”
“I remember Dolly, thank you.”
“Heh. Anyway, I broke up with Dolly and Victoire had broken up with Teddy. I figured we should have a guys’ night, y’know? We played Exploding Snaps and Teddy wouldn’t let up on me when he won so I kind of shut him up. With my mouth.”
“With your-?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn’t like I’d had a crush on Teddy forever and was using that as a lame excuse to snog him. It was just an accident. But it was an accident that got me curious. The next time we met up, I kissed him again. And again,” James sighed. “There’s just a certain point where an accident stops being an accident and starts becoming a habit. Besides, a romantic relationship is really just deep friendship with bonus shagging, so it wasn’t that large a jump.”
James snuck a peek at Al as he finished. Al had gotten very pale and he seemed unable to focus on anything for a long stretch of time. One minute he was looking at the carpet, then the wall, then his shoes, then at James, then the wall again. Finally he closed his eyes.
“Scorp and I snogged.”
“…excuse me?”
“Please don’t make me say it again.”
James got to his feet, glowering down at his little ball of a brother. “That gitface made a move on you after I specifically told him not to? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I am telling you,” said Al, getting up as well. “It was just-wait a minute. Did you just say you told him not to? How did you even know-”
“Oh, please, Al,” James snorted. “Anyone with eyes could see that Scorpius Malfoy is absolutely bonkers for you. Why do you think Mum hates him so much? Watch him talk to you or about you or look at you or anything and it’s glaringly obvious. He’s fancied you since we were at school, but I didn’t think he was going to do anything about it!”
Al blushed. “When did you tell him not to make a move on me?”
“At graduation while you were catching up with Uncle George and Uncle Bill. I heard him talking to one of those Slytherins in the john about telling you how he felt before he left. For your emotional sanity, I may or may not have threatened to neuter him if he did anything of the sort.”
“James!”
“You don’t just drop a bomb like that on someone and then leave the country! It’s unethical!”
Al closed his eyes with such a pained sigh that James almost felt guilty. When he re-opened his eyes, they were dark and upset. He almost seemed to be collapsing as he slid back down the wall.
“I’m so confused, James,” Al confessed, swallowing hard. “I’ve never thought about a guy like that before, let alone Scorpius, but I’m hurting so much right now. It hurts to be away from him, but when I’m with him I just hurt him and then I hurt more and I just can’t handle this anymore. James,” Al lowered his voice to a broken whisper. “He said he’s in love with me.”
James glanced up and down the hallway, then knelt down in front of Al and pulled him into a hug. Al’s breathing sounded painful, as though the effort of inhaling and exhaling was too much for his body to take. He honestly couldn’t remember a single time he’d hugged his brother since Al had been in diapers. It was strange in an unfamiliar sort of way.
“Well,” he said gently. “Do you love him back?”
“I don’t know. He makes me want to throw up.”
“Me, too, but all Malfoys do.”
Al chuckled, albeit weakly. “The day after I snogged him the first time, I threw up twice.”
“You snogged him more than once? Al,” James turned Al until Al was facing him, holding him by the shoulders. “I’m not exactly Malfoy’s biggest fan, but you have no business snogging him until you know how you feel. Otherwise, you’re just messing with him.”
“I know. I just… I don’t know how I feel about him. Why do you think I’m so confused?”
“You know how you feel, Al. You just don’t know what it means. Just turn your thoughts into words for a moment and we’ll figure it out together.”
Al was silent for a long moment, his mouth twitching, before a dam seemed to break and a flow of words poured out. “It’s just so weird. Scorp was always just my best mate. He knew me better than anyone and I trusted him with my life and I would’ve done anything for him.
“And when he came back, I didn’t even care that he hadn’t written while he was gone. I was just so happy to have him back. It was like seeing him for the first time all over again and sometimes I’d catch myself staring at him because he’s just so beautiful. He’s always telling me how Malfoys have good breeding and, yeah, I was aware he was fit, but it didn’t mean anything to me. Until now. He really is beautiful…
“And then at my party, he gave me the greatest present ever, the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world, and I loved him for it. It wasn’t like loving him like a best mate. It was stifling and scary and overwhelming, the way I felt about him. And then I snogged him and I heard Mum calling, which worked like a cold shower, and I just panicked!
“And of course the next time I see him I just do the same thing. He told me he loved me and I made him think I was using him for sex. And what if I am just using him for sex? I want him every time I see him these days. It’s within the realm of possibility.”
Al’s voice had turned bitter with self-loathing and he shrugged himself out of James’ grip and wrapped his arms around himself as he glared at the floor.
James chose his words carefully. “Well, it sounds to me like it’s not the fact that you’re both boys that bothers you. It sounds more like that’s what you want to be the problem.”
Al gave no response.
“Not to suddenly switch subjects or anything, but when I first started snogging Teddy, I was confused, too. I didn’t understand much other than snogging him felt really, really good. Almost as good as other things-”
“For the love of Merlin, James-”
“-but then I sat Teddy down and told him how I was feeling, in an incredibly long, incredibly un-masculine talk. It wasn’t even so much the talk as the fact that I could talk to him that helped me realize that wanting to snog him was new, but not completely different. Teddy and I already had a strong relationship. We were just taking it to the next level, is all. So, I guess what I’m saying is,” James finished. “Maybe you ought to sit Scorpius down and explain all of this to him. Not to tell you how you’re feeling, but the fact that you’re worried that you’re using him for sex, and about how that would hurt him, proves that you’re not capable of something like that.”
Al chewed on his lower lip, but some of the tension drained out of his shoulders. James hid a smile. Al was so obviously in love that he was blind to it. His brother was such an idiot sometimes.
He got to his feet. “Well, you can stay the night if you don’t feel like flooing back to London. We can play Exploding Snap and I’ll even order some gay porn for you.”
“I hate you,” said Al with a small smile.
“I hate you, too,” said James, helping him up and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “So, what do you say?”
“Mum and Dad think I have a fever and, anyway, I have training in the morning so I should get home. Besides, I think you and Teddy have to make up for lost time, don’t you?”
“Bugger! Teddy! I forgot all about him! I hate you even more now, Al, and I wish you would die. Tell Lily I send my love!” James clapped Al on the shoulder, then hurried back to his hotel room, taking a moment to transfigure the number into a large DO NOT DISTURB sign.
Teddy was lying on his back on the sheetless bed, his hair black in the front to match the back. He sat up as James came in. “So, how’d it go?”
“Very well, actually,” James sad, tugging off his shirt. “I told him all about how we started dating. You know, when I kept snogging you and you kept letting me.”
Teddy gave him a puzzled stare. “We started dating when you told me that the best cure for the my-girlfriend-rejected-my-marriage-proposal-because-she-thinks-I’m-a-poufter blues was sex with you.”
James snickered at the reminder. Oh, he was so coy and clever he amazed himself. “Yes, but that in no way related to Al’s situation. I’ll tell him the truth once he and Malfoy pull their heads out of their arses, but for now he knows what he needs to. You can tell Louis that the next time Al and Malfoy exchange words, they’ll actually, you know, exchange words.”
He finished his statement by tugging off his trousers. Teddy was transfixed for a moment before he shook his head once to clear it and again for emphasis.
“I already removed the sheets, James.”
“We only have two and a half hours left before your portkey activates, Teddy.”
James had a point and they both knew it. He climbed back into bed, allowing Teddy to pull him down on top of him and smiling against his lips. “I love you so much.”
Teddy pressed a single kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you, too.”
By the time Al returned to Diagon Alley, it was well past midnight and his mother was going to kill him. Lily had to have noticed his disappearance and informed the whole house by now. At seventeen, she was no less of a tattletale than she had been at eight. He went out into the alley to Apparate home and stopped as he caught sight of a flash of blond hair near the ice cream parlor.
He stopped short, stepping into the shadow of a building and whispering a spell to help him see better in the dark. It was Scorpius, leaning against the window of the parlor and popping a cherry into his mouth.
Al’s throat felt tight as he tried to think of what to do. It was the perfect opportunity to talk to Scorpius, but it was so soon. Al had no idea what to say or how to say it or even if he was ready. He’d just objectified Scorpius two days ago, for Merlin’s sake. Scorpius probably didn’t even want to talk to him.
Once again, Al was struck by how beautiful Scorpius was, his eyes running from the top of Scorpius’ very blond head to the tasteful shoes on his feet. His hands twitched with a sudden, irrational urge to touch him and he almost panicked before he realized that it was okay. It was okay to want to touch Scorpius’ cheek, to want to run his fingers through Scorpius’ hair, to want to hug him and hold his hand and…
Al’s eyes went wide and his cheeks went red.
I’m in love with him, he realized with a start, the ever-present ache being replaced by the fast-paced pounding of his heart. He felt lightheaded for an entirely new reason. I’m in love with Scorpius.
He couldn’t stop his lips from curving into a smile anymore than he could stop the warm feeling that was spreading all over his entire body. It was the same feeling he’d gotten while snogging Scorpius: that feeling of invincibility, of being able to do anything, of flying without taking his feet off the ground.
He opened his mouth to call out to Scorpius, but then the parlor door opened and Louis stepped out with a chocolate milkshake. He said something that made Scorpius smile like Al hadn’t seen him smile in weeks, then produced two straws from his pocket.
Scorpius took one, then stuck out his tongue, and Louis’ laugh was so loud the whole alley could hear it. “I can’t believe you did it! So, what, that means you’re a good snog?”
Al could have told Louis that, but Scorpius’ response was low and, from the look on Louis’ face, suggestive. Louis blew his straw wrapper at Scorpius and drank half the milkshake. Scorpius spat gracefully to the side, then unwrapped his straw and stuck it into the glass. Al watched them finish the shake, their blond heads bent close together, and thought of going to Scorpius’ flat and seeing a wet Louis sitting on the couch seconds before Scorpius had come naked out of the shower.
“Jealous?” Scorpius had asked and Al had been, a little, but he hadn’t seriously considered that something was going on between them before. But, no, Louis wouldn’t do that to him.
To him, no. For Scorpius… maybe.
They finished the shake with a slurp and Scorpius was the first to lift his head. Al crept closer, keeping to the shadows, until he was hiding near the entrance to Knockturn Alley and close enough to hear them.
“I told you. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac guaranteed to cure the my-best-mate-makes-me-want-to-off-myself blues,” Louis was saying as he tossed the empty cup into a nearby trash bin. “You got another cherry stem?”
“That was the last one. We should probably get back to the flat anyway.”
“Are you going back to work tomorrow?”
“Maybe,” but Scorpius didn’t sound even the slightest bit convincing. He just sounded tired. Al’s guilt returned with a vengeance. “Right now I just want to sleep.”
Louis nodded. “Yeah, alright.”
They Apparated away with a combined crack that sounded unnecessarily loud in the silent alley. Al stared at the spot where they had been standing for a very long time before he, too, Apparated home.
Rewind || Forward
the world has its shine (i would drop it on a dime) [3/4]
otempora01, rated PG-13 for kissing, swearing, sexual situations, and Al’s virgin eyes (although this chapter strays a bit more toward R).
Harry Potter, AS/S, m/m, post-series.
Scorpius may have joined the Aurors of his own free will, but he stayed for Albus Severus.
Part 3 complete in 8,576 words.
*
There’s something I’ve been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of they have filled me up with doubt
How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew I threw it all away
-Breathing by Yellowcard
*
Al gave up on trying to sleep around five o’clock in the morning. He dressed as silently as he could, grabbed his old Oblivion 180, and headed out onto the street. He’d left the broom Scorpius had gave him in his Mum’s old room at the Burrow, unable to bring himself to return there despite what he’d said. He’d heard Scorpius Apparate out the room, but Al didn’t think he’d ever be able to pass that room without feeling like he wanted to retch.
His throat closed up as his mind bombarded him with images and sensations-the feel of Scorpius’ tongue in his mouth, the heated look in Scorpius’ eyes as Al pulled him down for another kiss-and he could feel himself hyperventilating. Casting a quick concealment charm, he hopped on his broom and raced away as though he could leave his brain behind him.
The skies were overcast, typical for the last day of April, and the slight chill helped to clear Al’s head a little. At the very least, he didn’t feel like throwing up anymore.
Al floated on his broom high over the rooftops and tried to think. He’d snogged his male best friend (or ex-best friend). It might even have gone past snogging if his mother and her sixth sense for when her children were getting themselves into some sort of trouble hadn’t called his name and snapped him out of it.
He, Albus Severus Potter, had snogged a boy. He’d gotten a stiffy for a boy. Sure, he’d always thought Scorpius was attractive, but there were plenty of attractive blokes in the world that Al had no desire to snog. James was an attractive guy, but that didn’t mean Al would shag him if they weren’t related!
A headache began to pound behind his eyes and he could feel his cake threatening to come back up if he continued along this train of thought. He was not a shirtlifter. He’d had girlfriends before and he’d snogged them all the time. He’d never even considered Scorpius as a potential lover before. Not until-
Stomach heaving, Al dived for the ground in a wronski feint that would make his father proud, jumped off his broom, and threw up in the bushes of a house a mile away from his own.
Al knelt there on the sidewalk for a long time, just breathing and trying to think. Or not trying to think. Thinking was bad when all he could think about was Scorpius’ lips and hands.
He got himself back under control and stood, climbing back onto his broom. It took him a couple of seconds to remember that he had to decide where he wanted to go before the broom would move and, with a shake of his head, Al headed back home.
He smelled breakfast as he entered Grimmauld Place, leaving his broom in the hall. His dad was in the kitchen, making bacon and eggs. Al, mouth still tasting of bile, felt sick from the smell.
“You were out early,” Harry Potter said, flipping the bacon with a spatula. “Something on your mind?”
“I-no. No, I just… couldn’t sleep…”
“Ginny told me that the Malfoy kid left early from your party last night. Did you two have a fight?”
Al, who would have usually responded with a reminder that ‘the Malfoy kid’ had a first name, stiffened. “Something like that. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough. Take a seat. Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”
“Actually, Dad, I think I’ll go back to bed,” said Al with a weary sigh, already shuffling toward the door. “I’m not hungry anyway.”
“If you’re sure.”
Al stopped in the doorway, biting his lip as he considered the risk of asking the question that was burning on his tongue. He felt hot and cold all over, twice as nauseous as before, but he forced himself to turn. “Dad… say, hypothetically, one of your sons turned out to be… er… to, er… fancy… other blokes. Would… would you, er, disown them for it?”
Harry shut off the stove and scraped the bacon and eggs onto a large plate. He put the frying pan in the sink, pushed his glasses up on his nose, and cleared his throat.
“Alright, I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but,” Harry gestured for Al to take a seat, which he did, albeit warily. “Al, I love you very much. You know that. It’s no business of mine whether you want to have it on with girls or with boys or-”
“Dad!” said Al, alarmed. “Not me! It was-it was a hypothetical situation! And, anyway, I could mean James!”
Harry tried to hide his laugh in a cough, but it was an extremely unsuccessful attempt. “Right. Well, I love your brother very much and it’s no business of mine whether he wants to have it on with girls or with boys or with Veelas or whatever. My kid is my kid. I only hope he exercises good judgment when it comes to life partners, because so many girls-I mean, boys-would use Jamie to get a spread in Witch Weekly and that’s just wrong.”
“What about Mum? D’you think she might be mad?”
“I doubt it. Ginny’s an open-minded girl. Sometimes.”
Al fell silent as his father sent Kreacher to retrieve Lily and Ginny for breakfast. Harry and Ginny Potter weren’t exactly model examples of the Pureblood thought process-after all, Harry was a half-blood and Ginny was, supposedly, a blood traitor-but he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. Even if the Malfoys did find out that their son was a shirtlifter, they probably wouldn’t disinherit him.
“I know we’re talking hypothetically about your brother,” said Harry as he got the extra plates. “But if you do think you might fancy boys over girls, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
“I’m going back to bed,” Al stood and ran for the door, clutching his stomach. He barely made it to the toilet in time.
It was Thursday before Scorpius ventured out of his room for something other than food, water, or using the toilet.
Louis had never wanted to throttle a person more than he wanted to throttle his cousin Albus. Scorpius was usually a fairly reserved person, calm, gentle, quietly amused. Now, he was like a ghost, wandering around the house without really seeing anything or saying anything. Louis had tried numerous times to engage him in conversation, but it was, essentially, like talking to a brick wall and now he just checked on Scorpius every now and then to make sure he hadn’t committed suicide in there.
Louis was idly doodling on a sheet of paper when the bedroom door opened. He didn’t look up, expecting Scorpius to go to the toilet or the kitchen and then go right back to the bedroom. It came as a complete surprise when Scorpius sat down right next to him.
“You look like shit,” said Louis tactfully, setting down his quill. It wasn’t a lie. The bags beneath Scorpius’ eyes seemed to have gotten worse-probably because Scorpius hadn’t been sleeping well-and he still looked very pale. He was wearing an old t-shirt and the same black silk pajama pants, his eyes lacking a certain spark. The certain spark Al had always put there.
Scorpius managed a smile that was almost painful to look at. “At least with me it’s only temporary. What’s your excuse?”
If Scorpius was feeling well enough to be snarky, he would be okay. Louis was surprised at the sheer amount of relief he felt.
“I’m adorable and you know it,” he said, returning the smile.
Scorpius glanced past him to the doodle, blinking. “Hey, that’s really good,” he said, sliding the paper out from under the quill to get a better look. Louis had been brooding on being sent to Romania which had culminated in a doodle of a dragon baring a close resemblance to the one on his arse cheek, but with a spin to it-the dragon was playing Exploding Snap for cigarettes.
He shrugged. “I was bored out here by myself. I don’t supposed you want to play a game?”
Again, he expected Scorpius to decline and head back to his room and, again, he was surprised when Scorpius did not.
“I’m not playing you for money, though,” he clarified. “If you’ve gotten good enough to acquire your rent like this, I might go bankrupt.”
Louis got to his feet and headed to his bedroom to get the cards. Had he been anyone else, he might have asked how Scorpius was dealing with That Albus Effect or when Scorpius planned on going back to Auror training. But Louis had spent long enough with Scorpius to know that he talked about things on his own time and pushing him would only cause him to close himself off even more. Louis had never been a pusher, which was probably another reason he and Scorpius got on so well, but for once he was curious.
Scorpius toying with the quill when Louis returned. “Can I keep it? The doodle, I mean.”
“Sure,” Louis said, already beginning to shuffle the cards. “You sure you don’t want to play for money? You can help me pay this month’s rent or buy a new pair of boots.”
Scorpius gave him a look almost on par with the ones he’d given before Al’s birthday party. It was tinged with exhaustion, but it was still a look.
Louis smiled. “Fine, no money. Just try not to cry when I win.”
“I’ve done enough crying the last few days,” said Scorpius with a vague, bitter smile that faded as soon as it appeared.
Louis paused in shuffling the cards, seeing his opening and taking it. “Are you alright? I mean, really alright? I’m sure Al didn’t mean to-”
“Tell me to go and bugger myself after he snogged me? How could that not have been intentional?”
Louis thought on it for a very long time. Then he simply began to pass out the cards.
“Exactly,” said Scorpius dryly. “The way I see it, I can wallow in my room for the rest of my life, or I can cut my losses and move on. I don’t need Al to make me happy.”
“But he does make you happy,” Louis felt the need to mention. Scorpius slapped a card down by his hand, raising a warning eyebrow as it exploded. Louis, knowing how easily that could have been his hair or eyebrows, wisely fell silent.
You don’t forget people with this much control over your emotions that easily, he thought but didn’t say. I don’t think you ever do.
Rose was transporting an armful of prophecies to the Department of Mysteries when she nearly tripped over her despondent cousin. Catching an orb before it fell, she stopped and stared down at Albus Severus, debating whether or not she had time to stop and find out what was wrong. Her supervisors didn’t really like their incoming prophecies to spend too much time out in the open.
Then again, Al was her cousin. Of course she’d risk it.
Rose carefully sat down next to him, transporting the orbs to her lap, and placed a hand on Al’s shoulder. “Hey, you. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” Al mumbled, rubbing at his red eyes. “I just didn’t feel like going to training today, that’s all.”
“Tell me another,” Rose snorted. “You love Auror training almost as much as you do our family. If you’re not there, you’re dead, critically ill, or upset about something on par with the death of a family member. Grandma Molly’s alright, isn’t she?”
Al looked quite like he wanted to smile, but his face had forgotten how. He gave up and rested his chin on his drawn-in knees. “At the party, something… something happened. Between me and Scorp-ius.”
Rose lifted an eyebrow and removed her hand. She’d sometimes thought that Al had forgotten that Scorpius had two more syllables to his name. “A fight?”
“No. Not… not a fight. Well, okay, there was a fight, but that came after…”
“After what?”
Al ducked his head, his voice getting tiny and quiet, “After I snogged him.”
Abject surprise was probably not the reaction Al wanted. Rose had to tell herself that five times before she could even attempt to respond. She’d always thought that Scorpius Malfoy had a thing for her brother-anyone who watched them interact could probably tell-but it had seemed impossible to her that Al would ever return those feelings. Al had a big heart and a small brain that sometimes prohibited him from being able to connect those sorts of dots.
Rose realized that now was not an appropriate time to get lost in her own thoughts and shook herself out of it. “Ah-well, then… what… how did Scorpius react to… to the kiss?” Al turned an interesting shade of red. Rose bit her lip to hold in a giggle. “That well, huh? So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is I’m not a poufter!” Al said as though it should be obvious. “And Scorpius might be and he probably thinks I am because I snogged him and I didn’t mean to-”
“Then why did you?”
“I don’t bloody know!” shouted Al with rising frustration. “It just happened. He’d just given me the best birthday present ever, as usual, and I was hugging him for it, as usual, and then we were sort of staring at each other and I remember thinking that… that he smelled really good and I’d never seen his eyes turn that shade of grey before…”
Al trailed off into what could almost be interpreted as a dreamy silence. Rose was no expert on affairs of the heart, but her cousin sounded like he had it bad for Scorpius, sexuality crisis or no sexuality crisis. She would have told him so, but she had no idea whether it would only exacerbate the situation. Boys were delicate and foolish creatures. One had to manipulate them into thinking something was their idea if they were to ever get anything done.
Rose cleared her throat. “Well, if you’re so worried about Scorpius thinking you’re a poufter, then why don’t you go and tell him you’re not a poufter?”
“But what if he’s a poufter?”
“Does it matter?”
Al genuinely thought about it then, slowly, he shook his head. “He’s still my-was my-best mate, no matter who he’s shagging.”
“Brilliant. Go and tell him that, then, and get your Scorp back. And, if you don’t mind, next time you want to talk, come and find me directly. You nearly made me crack some of these.”
Al grabbed a few of the orbs and helped her to her feet, then carefully arranged them in her arms again. He looked considerably happier, a determined gleam in his eyes. “Thanks, Rosie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Brood yourself to death, most likely. See you later.”
The first person Al saw when he Apparated into Scorpius’ flat was Louis. Louis was sitting on the couch, shirtless and damp as if he’d just gotten out of the shower, the towel under him catching the water dripping down his chest and arms. A pair of draw-string trousers hung low on his hips and he was flicking a silver lighter open and closed.
His entire face lit up when he saw Al. “Thank Merlin. He’s become an absolute menace since you two had that fight. I’m this close to putting my foot through his teeth!”
Al had heard similar complaints back at school and was none too pleased to hear it now. He squared his shoulders and opened his mouth to inform Louis that he hadn’t exactly come to kiss and make up when the bathroom door opened and Scorpius stepped out in all his bare-bottomed glory, squinting around the room.
“You took my towel, you wank-” hissed Scorpius until he spotted Al and stopped short. “Oh.”
“Oh,” Al repeated, his eyes trapped on Scorpius’ hipbone. The letters A.S.P. stood out in black in on the pale skin, a red-eyed snake curled around them. He swallowed. “So, that’s where it was. Huh.”
Louis took the opportunity to pull Scorpius’ towel out from under himself and toss it at Scorpius’ head. It smacked him on the cheek, startling him out of his reverie and, covering the tattoo with a hand, he disappeared into the bedroom.
Oddly calm, Al looked over at his cousin. “Why are you all wet?”
“Why don’t you ask Scorpius?” Louis replied, picking up a day-old copy of the Prophet. “There’s no lock on that door.”
Al hesitated only a moment before crossing the room and pushing open the door. Scorpius was fully dressed in his black silk pajama bottoms and a white shirt, his glasses on and his back turned. He didn’t move or speak as Al came in and carefully shut the door behind him.
The silence was unbearably awkward, but Al had no idea what to say. Scorpius had his initials tattooed on his hip. When Scorpius had been drunk enough to permanently ink his body, Al had been the first thing to pop into his mind. Before the kiss, that would have been vaguely sweet. Now Al didn’t know what to think.
For lack of something better, he fell back on his initial reason for coming. “How long have you been a-I mean, how long have you known you… fancy boys…?”
Scorpius stared at the wall for a moment more before turning enough for Al to get a good look at his face. There were bags under his eyes and clumps of blond hair sticking up or sticking down in various states of disarray and his skin seemed paler than ever before. Al felt instantly guilty.
“If you have a problem with me being ‘like that’,” Scorpius said with a bitter edge to his voice. “Then you can just leave right now, Albus. I don’t need that kind of friend.”
“I don’t have a problem with your sexuality!”
“Then what is your problem? It can’t be the tattoo. You didn’t even know about it until today.”
“Why do you have my initials on your hip anyway?” Al snapped on a burst of anger fueled by his increasing level of discomfort. “Louis got a dragon. What, were they out of magical creatures?”
Scorpius laughed derisively. “You are such an idiot.”
“An idiot whose initials you have tattooed on your hip.”
“Shut up about that. I told you I was pissed.”
“Last time I was pissed, my first thought wasn’t to go have your name tattooed on or around my backside!”
“Why did you kiss me?”
Al’s retort died in his throat at the sudden subject change. His lips moved uselessly but no words came out and, even if they had, he was sure they would have been incoherently structured. How could Scorpius be asking him that? Al had been trying as hard as he could to forget that night. He didn’t want to talk about it.
“This was a mistake,” he said, turning and grabbing the doorknob. “I shouldn’t have come.”
He only managed to get the door open a crack before an arm reached past his head and slammed it shut. Al turned back around to meet Scorpius glare-for-glare, keeping one hand on the knob.
“So that’s it then?” asked Scorpius, apparently unmindful of the change in proximity. Al, on the other hand, could think of nothing else. The anger in his eyes and the set of his jaw seemed to have a significant impact on Scorpius’ appearance, bringing life back into his face. It was sort of beautiful. “That’s all it took to end an eight year friendship? One snog?”
“That’s not what I want,” Al said, unable to look at Scorpius any longer. His head hurt and his stomach heart and his chest was beginning to hurt as well. “I just don’t-I don’t understand-”
Scorpius dropped his arm, but didn’t bother to move back. Al let go of the doorknob. He could still feel the heat radiating off Scorpius’ body and it was making him lightheaded.
“Fine. You want to know about my tattoo, Al?” Scorpius said without waiting for the twitch of a nod Al gave in reply. His tone was flat, his face impossible to read. “It was a couple of weeks before I was due to come back here. I’d just sent in my Auror application and Louis decided that we had to celebrate by going to his favorite bar. That’s where the being pissed part comes in.
“So we’re wandering the streets of Paris at about three in the morning when Louis spots a Muggle tattoo shop and says we should get a matched set to top off the night. He knew he wanted that dragon the instant he saw it on the wall, but I couldn’t decide. And then the tattoo artist-Gary, in case you’re curious-gave me the suggestions, y’know, MUM, a rose, all that rot. And then he said that a lot of people came in and got their lovers’ names inked in.”
Al’s eyes widened, but Scorpius clearly wasn’t finished. He stared at a point somewhere over Al’s shoulder.
“I’m pretty sure he thought Louis and I were together, but all I could think about right then was that I was going home and you might not even speak to me. That we’d never be friends like we were back at school and I’d never get to tell you how I felt. I wanted to remember the times I was lying next to you in your four-poster and talking about everything or when we were in the library eating chocolate frogs behind our Potions textbooks. I wanted to keep a piece of you with me, no matter what. So I had A.S.P. tattooed on my hip.”
“What,” Al’s throat was dry and his voice sounded like he hadn’t used it in days. He swallowed and tried again. “What are you trying to say?”
The anger intensified. “I’m in love with you, you bloody moron! I don’t know how I can make this any clearer! I came back to London for you, I became an Auror for you, I kissed you back because I love you. Merlin, you’re dense!”
Scorpius ran a hand through his hair and began to withdraw, muttering angrily to himself, but Al caught him by the front of the shirt and pulled him forward until their foreheads were resting against one another, his eyes sliding shut.
“Why is Louis all wet?” Al whispered, the warmth of Scorpius’ breath on his face easing that ache in his chest just a little bit.
“Jealous?” Scorpius replied as their lips met. Al shut off the part of his mind that was telling him that this was a bad idea and the part of his mind that was asking him why he was doing this again and just focused on the kiss.
Scorpius was making no attempt to respond, but Al could feel him shaking. He opened his eyes and tilted his head to brush a kiss along Scorpius’ jaw line. “What if I am jealous?”
Scorpius laughed breathlessly although they had yet to really do anything. “What are you doing, Al? I can’t-if you’re not going to-do you have any idea what you’re-”
Al kissed him to shut him up. The second kiss was full of desperation and need. Al was desperate to keep Scorpius from finishing those sentences. He needed to get rid of that throbbing pain where his heart was supposed to be. He just wanted so much and so badly it hurt and he didn’t know why.
Scorpius caved in with a groan that was almost agonized and pressed Al back up against the door, licking into his mouth. Al’s breath hitched as he returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around Scorpius’ waist to keep them both anchored through this.
We should stop, Al thought as Scorpius nibbled a spot just behind his ear, mouth falling open on a moan, This isn’t-I just wanted to-Why does this feel so good?
Scorpius pulled away with a gasp, covering his eyes with a hand and laughing again. “Bloody buggering hell, Al.”
“Don’t stop,” Al begged, reaching for him again. Scorpius evaded his hands, stepping back until the whole room separated them. Al’s pulse was pounding in his ears and all his blood was in his prick, making it a little hard to think of anything but getting Scorpius’ tongue back in his mouth. “Please-”
“No. Do you even realize how-how unfair this is?”
Al felt the sudden urge to cry. “I just-”
“I love you, Al,” Scorpius said quietly. “But I can’t do this. It hurts. You don’t know what you want and I don’t want to have you for however long it takes you to come to your senses and decide that you’re not ‘like that.’ If you’re randy, go find yourself a girl who doesn’t feel as much for you as I do because I can’t be that person. I refuse.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“Well, until you can tell me what this is, we’re done. I think you should leave.”
Al searched for something to say, some way to explain himself. He’d been on fire a moment ago and felt like he could do anything. Now the parts of him that didn’t feel cold were numb and he could feel tears building behind his eyes. He mumbled something that might have been a goodbye and groped for the doorknob.
“What is wrong with you?” Louis asked, making no attempt to hide the Extendable Ear in his hands.
Instead of answering, Al wiped at his eyes and Apparated home. Why bother? That was just another question he didn’t know the answer to.
To explain his absence from training, Al ate some of the Fever Fudge he’d gotten from James and spent the next two days confined to his room with Lily making frequent trips in to check on him.
Al was almost in awe of how big an idiot he was. He’d gone over to Scorpius’ flat to tell him that he wasn’t a shirtlifter and instead he’d kissed him again? There had to be something wrong with him.
“According to this,” said Lily, reading the leaves in the teacup Al had drained a few minutes ago. “Not only are you going to die incredibly soon, but you’ll probably be stabbed. And by someone you love, too. You didn’t set my cards on fire again, did you? Because I don’t feel like committing murder.”
Al ignored her, curling into a ball and trying to breathe past the ache in his chest that refused to fade. Scorpius had Al’s initials tattooed on his hipbones. Scorpius was in love with him. And now Scorpius thought that Al saw him as some sort of-of booty call and it was all Al’s fault. He wasn’t sure what he thought of Scorpius anymore, but that certainly wasn’t it.
He just couldn’t seem to stop himself. That was the problem. Scorpius had been his best friend for years and now Al couldn’t get through a single combination without wanting to kiss him. The room went suddenly out of focus and Al was surprised to reach up and find himself crying.
There had to be something seriously wrong with him.
“Ugh,” Lily said, sounding exasperated. “I wish James were here. At least he’s good for a laugh when he’s sick, wailing and whining about how he’s going to die. You’re so boring, Albus.”
Al listened to her gather up the teacup and the tray and waited until he heard the door open and close before allowing himself to sniffle. He groped for a tissue on the bedside table and closed his fingers around a magazine instead. It was the copy of Witch Weekly that Rose had given him for his birthday, open to James’ interview. His brother smirked up at him in glossy black and white, looking very pleased with himself and occasionally signaling for the reader to call him. Al’s smile was watery as he scanned the article.
…member of the infamous Weasley-Potter clan, a family so large it puts most Pureblood family trees to shame. When asked how his family has been supporting him as he navigates the Cannons through the new combined European Quidditch League, James smiled.
“Oh, they’ve been brilliant, all of them. I get good practice doing one-on-one matches and flying contests with my little brother, Al. We’re always trying to show one another up because I’m bigger and have to be better, you know?” said James with a laugh. “But Al keeps me on my toes. He’s a smart kid and I love him to death. Don’t tell my sister, Lily, but Al’s always been my favorite.”
Lily had been absolutely outraged when she’d read the article, screaming something about her inner Eye predicting death and dismemberment in James’ future, but Al had been ecstatic.
He ran a finger over the picture-James’ messy hair, sized by a sudden desire to see his brother again. He hadn’t actually seen James since the last time the Cannons had actually played a game in their home stadium and Ron had taken the whole family. He wondered what James was up to, if he’d be even remotely interested in Al’s problems and if he’d even be able to help. James may have thought he was Merlin’s gift to the wizarding world, but that wasn’t necessarily true.
Al reached under his bed and pulled out his Skiving Snack box, popping the antidote end of the Fever Fudge in his mouth. He next looked for a quill and a piece of parchment. When all else failed, there was James.
James Potter was notorious for loving to go out and party with his teammates, but he hadn’t been seen in a pub for nearly three days. “I have better things to do,” he usually said when asked, but tonight he was starting to wish he’d chosen to go out after all.
“I hate chess,” he said petulantly as Teddy’s queen massacred his rook. “You know I hate chess. You’re going back to London tonight and you want to play bloody chess?”
Teddy, who had sent his article back to the Prophet by owl post that morning and was taking his good sweet time in getting back to London, raised a hot pink eyebrow at him. Teddy’s spiky hair was hot pink in the front and jet black in the back to hide the singed hair that had yet to grow out. He was wearing a large, sleeveless blue shirt that said SEE YOU LATER INNOVATOR bold black letters, black boxers, and no socks. He had a pair of combat shoes on the floor by the dresser, written all over in white ink a la Louis.
Teddy was saying something likely smart-arsed in reply, but James was staring at his hair. His hair-like his eyes-was supposed to be brown, but James rarely saw it that way. Teddy’s hair was almost like a living thing on his head. Sure, Teddy could change anything about his appearance, but it was his hair he changed most often of all. A dazzling red, a deep blue, a light purple-what use did he have for dye when his hair had a built in spectrum of colors?
“James,” Teddy said, interrupting his musing. “It’s your turn.”
James looked down at the chessboard then, maturely, swept off the pieces and knocked the board aside with his foot.
Teddy was trying very hard not to smile. “I win by default.”
“I don’t care,” James said and kissed him. Teddy laughed against his lips as James crawled into his lap and wrapped his arms around Teddy’s shoulders, eyes sliding shut. It only took the feel of James’ tongue sliding over his bottom lip to turn Teddy’s chuckles into gasps. James, feeling quite pleased with himself, reached down to place Teddy’s hands firmly on his arse, then slid his tongue between Teddy’s parted lips.
Teddy tasted like the hot chocolate they’d ordered from room service and the bad Bertie Bott flavors they’d dared one another to eat. Teddy’s tongue brushed against his own, eliciting a pleased groan from a sexually frustrated James, and he shifted into just the right spot for James to rut shamelessly against him.
“Merlin,” Teddy broke the kiss to breath heavily against James’ hair, thrusting his hips up to meet James’. “Why is it… that every time I-ah-see you… we always end up-”
“I’m incredibly fit,” James said in between the open-mouthed kisses he was placing on Teddy’s neck. “And also-mmm-I give really good head.”
Teddy swore and came.
James laughed breathlessly and increased his movements. Teddy nudged his head up and nibbled along his throat, sliding a hand down the front of James’ trousers to wrap around him. James had to bite down on his lip to keep from releasing an embarrassing squeak.
As though reading his mind, Teddy smirked. His hair turned a devilish shade of red as he pumped his hand rapidly, catching James’ every moan, groan, and whimper with his mouth. James kissed him back desperately, thrusting into Teddy’s hand, feeling more and more overwhelmed until the hotel door opened and one of the hotel managers took one look at them and screamed in surprise.
James, unable to stop it, clapped a hand over his mouth as he suffered through an orgasm he was too mortified to enjoy.
“You, too?!” said another voice that only made the situation worse. “All of a sudden you have to be a poufter, too? What is this, a bloody epidemic?!”
James lifted his pounding head just in time to see Al turn and storm away in a fit of righteous anger while the pale hotel manager cleared her throat and whispered, “Your brother’s here to see you, Mr. Potter.”
Thankfully, she closed the door behind her.
Teddy tugged his hand out of James’ pants and almost ran it through his hair before he realized what he was doing and wiped it on the sheets instead. “You should go after him,” Teddy said, cheeks red. “I’ll wait here.”
James got up, changed his trousers, and washed his hands, feeling very awkward. He hadn’t exactly been planning to tell his family about him and Teddy and he was even less excited by the prospect now that he’d seen Al’s reaction. He’d always thought that with Scorpius Malfoy for a friend Al would probably be the most open-minded, Louis notwithstanding, but apparently not…
“I’ll be back,” he said, stealing one last kiss from Teddy before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.
Al was sitting on the carpet two doors down, staring despondently at the floor. It was one of his odd habits to find a quiet place to sit and mope and, since Al had just left in anger a few minutes ago, James could only assume that something else was bothering his brother.
James sat down against the opposite wall and cleared his throat. “So, er, how’d you get here?”
“Flooed in to one of the wizarding pubs,” Al answered tonelessly. “It wasn’t that hard to find the one Muggle hotel in Falmouth that had a bunch of rowdy men in orange and black robes staying in it. Your manager recognized me and told the hotel manager to send me up and, well, you know.”
“Right,” James shifted, uncomfortable. “So…”
Al glanced up at him then just as quickly looked away. “I didn’t mean what I said. You and Teddy’ve always been close and it’s none of my business if you want to… do things with him. It’s just… I thought you liked girls.”
“I do like girls. But I love Teddy. There’s a significant difference.” When Al made no reply, James crawled over to his side of the hallway and sat down next to him. “Alright, Albus Severus Potter, out with it. What’s going on that tiny little mind of yours? Teddy’s got to go back to London in a few hours and you’re wasting precious time.”
“Since when have you and Teddy been a, er, a couple? I mean, how’d it happen? I always thought… I mean, you went out with all those… When did you figure out that you loved Teddy?”
James blinked, but Al was picking at the carpet and refused to say any more. His brows furrowed. “Er, I think it was… It was after I broke up with Dolly, that one model with the-”
“I remember Dolly, thank you.”
“Heh. Anyway, I broke up with Dolly and Victoire had broken up with Teddy. I figured we should have a guys’ night, y’know? We played Exploding Snaps and Teddy wouldn’t let up on me when he won so I kind of shut him up. With my mouth.”
“With your-?”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn’t like I’d had a crush on Teddy forever and was using that as a lame excuse to snog him. It was just an accident. But it was an accident that got me curious. The next time we met up, I kissed him again. And again,” James sighed. “There’s just a certain point where an accident stops being an accident and starts becoming a habit. Besides, a romantic relationship is really just deep friendship with bonus shagging, so it wasn’t that large a jump.”
James snuck a peek at Al as he finished. Al had gotten very pale and he seemed unable to focus on anything for a long stretch of time. One minute he was looking at the carpet, then the wall, then his shoes, then at James, then the wall again. Finally he closed his eyes.
“Scorp and I snogged.”
“…excuse me?”
“Please don’t make me say it again.”
James got to his feet, glowering down at his little ball of a brother. “That gitface made a move on you after I specifically told him not to? Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“I am telling you,” said Al, getting up as well. “It was just-wait a minute. Did you just say you told him not to? How did you even know-”
“Oh, please, Al,” James snorted. “Anyone with eyes could see that Scorpius Malfoy is absolutely bonkers for you. Why do you think Mum hates him so much? Watch him talk to you or about you or look at you or anything and it’s glaringly obvious. He’s fancied you since we were at school, but I didn’t think he was going to do anything about it!”
Al blushed. “When did you tell him not to make a move on me?”
“At graduation while you were catching up with Uncle George and Uncle Bill. I heard him talking to one of those Slytherins in the john about telling you how he felt before he left. For your emotional sanity, I may or may not have threatened to neuter him if he did anything of the sort.”
“James!”
“You don’t just drop a bomb like that on someone and then leave the country! It’s unethical!”
Al closed his eyes with such a pained sigh that James almost felt guilty. When he re-opened his eyes, they were dark and upset. He almost seemed to be collapsing as he slid back down the wall.
“I’m so confused, James,” Al confessed, swallowing hard. “I’ve never thought about a guy like that before, let alone Scorpius, but I’m hurting so much right now. It hurts to be away from him, but when I’m with him I just hurt him and then I hurt more and I just can’t handle this anymore. James,” Al lowered his voice to a broken whisper. “He said he’s in love with me.”
James glanced up and down the hallway, then knelt down in front of Al and pulled him into a hug. Al’s breathing sounded painful, as though the effort of inhaling and exhaling was too much for his body to take. He honestly couldn’t remember a single time he’d hugged his brother since Al had been in diapers. It was strange in an unfamiliar sort of way.
“Well,” he said gently. “Do you love him back?”
“I don’t know. He makes me want to throw up.”
“Me, too, but all Malfoys do.”
Al chuckled, albeit weakly. “The day after I snogged him the first time, I threw up twice.”
“You snogged him more than once? Al,” James turned Al until Al was facing him, holding him by the shoulders. “I’m not exactly Malfoy’s biggest fan, but you have no business snogging him until you know how you feel. Otherwise, you’re just messing with him.”
“I know. I just… I don’t know how I feel about him. Why do you think I’m so confused?”
“You know how you feel, Al. You just don’t know what it means. Just turn your thoughts into words for a moment and we’ll figure it out together.”
Al was silent for a long moment, his mouth twitching, before a dam seemed to break and a flow of words poured out. “It’s just so weird. Scorp was always just my best mate. He knew me better than anyone and I trusted him with my life and I would’ve done anything for him.
“And when he came back, I didn’t even care that he hadn’t written while he was gone. I was just so happy to have him back. It was like seeing him for the first time all over again and sometimes I’d catch myself staring at him because he’s just so beautiful. He’s always telling me how Malfoys have good breeding and, yeah, I was aware he was fit, but it didn’t mean anything to me. Until now. He really is beautiful…
“And then at my party, he gave me the greatest present ever, the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world, and I loved him for it. It wasn’t like loving him like a best mate. It was stifling and scary and overwhelming, the way I felt about him. And then I snogged him and I heard Mum calling, which worked like a cold shower, and I just panicked!
“And of course the next time I see him I just do the same thing. He told me he loved me and I made him think I was using him for sex. And what if I am just using him for sex? I want him every time I see him these days. It’s within the realm of possibility.”
Al’s voice had turned bitter with self-loathing and he shrugged himself out of James’ grip and wrapped his arms around himself as he glared at the floor.
James chose his words carefully. “Well, it sounds to me like it’s not the fact that you’re both boys that bothers you. It sounds more like that’s what you want to be the problem.”
Al gave no response.
“Not to suddenly switch subjects or anything, but when I first started snogging Teddy, I was confused, too. I didn’t understand much other than snogging him felt really, really good. Almost as good as other things-”
“For the love of Merlin, James-”
“-but then I sat Teddy down and told him how I was feeling, in an incredibly long, incredibly un-masculine talk. It wasn’t even so much the talk as the fact that I could talk to him that helped me realize that wanting to snog him was new, but not completely different. Teddy and I already had a strong relationship. We were just taking it to the next level, is all. So, I guess what I’m saying is,” James finished. “Maybe you ought to sit Scorpius down and explain all of this to him. Not to tell you how you’re feeling, but the fact that you’re worried that you’re using him for sex, and about how that would hurt him, proves that you’re not capable of something like that.”
Al chewed on his lower lip, but some of the tension drained out of his shoulders. James hid a smile. Al was so obviously in love that he was blind to it. His brother was such an idiot sometimes.
He got to his feet. “Well, you can stay the night if you don’t feel like flooing back to London. We can play Exploding Snap and I’ll even order some gay porn for you.”
“I hate you,” said Al with a small smile.
“I hate you, too,” said James, helping him up and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “So, what do you say?”
“Mum and Dad think I have a fever and, anyway, I have training in the morning so I should get home. Besides, I think you and Teddy have to make up for lost time, don’t you?”
“Bugger! Teddy! I forgot all about him! I hate you even more now, Al, and I wish you would die. Tell Lily I send my love!” James clapped Al on the shoulder, then hurried back to his hotel room, taking a moment to transfigure the number into a large DO NOT DISTURB sign.
Teddy was lying on his back on the sheetless bed, his hair black in the front to match the back. He sat up as James came in. “So, how’d it go?”
“Very well, actually,” James sad, tugging off his shirt. “I told him all about how we started dating. You know, when I kept snogging you and you kept letting me.”
Teddy gave him a puzzled stare. “We started dating when you told me that the best cure for the my-girlfriend-rejected-my-marriage-proposal-because-she-thinks-I’m-a-poufter blues was sex with you.”
James snickered at the reminder. Oh, he was so coy and clever he amazed himself. “Yes, but that in no way related to Al’s situation. I’ll tell him the truth once he and Malfoy pull their heads out of their arses, but for now he knows what he needs to. You can tell Louis that the next time Al and Malfoy exchange words, they’ll actually, you know, exchange words.”
He finished his statement by tugging off his trousers. Teddy was transfixed for a moment before he shook his head once to clear it and again for emphasis.
“I already removed the sheets, James.”
“We only have two and a half hours left before your portkey activates, Teddy.”
James had a point and they both knew it. He climbed back into bed, allowing Teddy to pull him down on top of him and smiling against his lips. “I love you so much.”
Teddy pressed a single kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you, too.”
By the time Al returned to Diagon Alley, it was well past midnight and his mother was going to kill him. Lily had to have noticed his disappearance and informed the whole house by now. At seventeen, she was no less of a tattletale than she had been at eight. He went out into the alley to Apparate home and stopped as he caught sight of a flash of blond hair near the ice cream parlor.
He stopped short, stepping into the shadow of a building and whispering a spell to help him see better in the dark. It was Scorpius, leaning against the window of the parlor and popping a cherry into his mouth.
Al’s throat felt tight as he tried to think of what to do. It was the perfect opportunity to talk to Scorpius, but it was so soon. Al had no idea what to say or how to say it or even if he was ready. He’d just objectified Scorpius two days ago, for Merlin’s sake. Scorpius probably didn’t even want to talk to him.
Once again, Al was struck by how beautiful Scorpius was, his eyes running from the top of Scorpius’ very blond head to the tasteful shoes on his feet. His hands twitched with a sudden, irrational urge to touch him and he almost panicked before he realized that it was okay. It was okay to want to touch Scorpius’ cheek, to want to run his fingers through Scorpius’ hair, to want to hug him and hold his hand and…
Al’s eyes went wide and his cheeks went red.
I’m in love with him, he realized with a start, the ever-present ache being replaced by the fast-paced pounding of his heart. He felt lightheaded for an entirely new reason. I’m in love with Scorpius.
He couldn’t stop his lips from curving into a smile anymore than he could stop the warm feeling that was spreading all over his entire body. It was the same feeling he’d gotten while snogging Scorpius: that feeling of invincibility, of being able to do anything, of flying without taking his feet off the ground.
He opened his mouth to call out to Scorpius, but then the parlor door opened and Louis stepped out with a chocolate milkshake. He said something that made Scorpius smile like Al hadn’t seen him smile in weeks, then produced two straws from his pocket.
Scorpius took one, then stuck out his tongue, and Louis’ laugh was so loud the whole alley could hear it. “I can’t believe you did it! So, what, that means you’re a good snog?”
Al could have told Louis that, but Scorpius’ response was low and, from the look on Louis’ face, suggestive. Louis blew his straw wrapper at Scorpius and drank half the milkshake. Scorpius spat gracefully to the side, then unwrapped his straw and stuck it into the glass. Al watched them finish the shake, their blond heads bent close together, and thought of going to Scorpius’ flat and seeing a wet Louis sitting on the couch seconds before Scorpius had come naked out of the shower.
“Jealous?” Scorpius had asked and Al had been, a little, but he hadn’t seriously considered that something was going on between them before. But, no, Louis wouldn’t do that to him.
To him, no. For Scorpius… maybe.
They finished the shake with a slurp and Scorpius was the first to lift his head. Al crept closer, keeping to the shadows, until he was hiding near the entrance to Knockturn Alley and close enough to hear them.
“I told you. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac guaranteed to cure the my-best-mate-makes-me-want-to-off-myself blues,” Louis was saying as he tossed the empty cup into a nearby trash bin. “You got another cherry stem?”
“That was the last one. We should probably get back to the flat anyway.”
“Are you going back to work tomorrow?”
“Maybe,” but Scorpius didn’t sound even the slightest bit convincing. He just sounded tired. Al’s guilt returned with a vengeance. “Right now I just want to sleep.”
Louis nodded. “Yeah, alright.”
They Apparated away with a combined crack that sounded unnecessarily loud in the silent alley. Al stared at the spot where they had been standing for a very long time before he, too, Apparated home.
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