I love it when you smile
Everything's sort of ok here, have a lot of tests and a presentation to prepare, so I thought I wouldn't update this LJ for a while. But today I definitely need to make this little (but serious enough) rant, so there you are...
The facts: in my medieval latin class there are about 12 people. We're usually sitting in two rows facing each other, and of course it happens quite often that we exchange looks with the people sitting in the front row. Right in front of me just happens to sit the prettiest girl in the class. A couple of weeks ago she had a presentation to do, and she did it in German (her mother-tongue). So I told my flat-mate, who was sitting next to me: "I don't have a clue what she's saying, but I'm definitely enjoying this presentation all the same". Yeah, the kind of stupid things we say every now and then. And she actually is really pretty, especially when she smiles. However, he's been teasing me for the last two weeks because of that, although I made it very clear that I'm not planning on doing or trying anything with her. Well, I don't care about the teasing. Today we saw her when we were taking our meals, we waved to each other and she smiled as usual her wonderful smile. So ok, I said, "well, this smile made my day". Because I do think it's true, a smile can really change your day, from whoever you get it. If it's a very pretty girl smiling with her very pretty smile, that's even better, but a smile is a smile anyway and is a powerfully fascinating thing.
But, here started the troubles. I made the obvious mistake of saying aloud that I liked her smile; so here there were, my flat-mates (well, one of them in particular), saying that it's quite childish to get happy because "aaaawwwwww, she smiiiiled", that it's immature, that they've been trying to teach me that there's more to love and I can't just be happy with a smile or a wave or a few words, 'cause that's what boys in middle school do, not adults. And on like that. Which totally pissed me off.
First of all... I never thought calling someone immature was a way of showing someone's maturity.
Second... I know we have a very different vision of the world, of life and love, but I'm not trying to change their ideas, I'd like them not to try and change mine. It's not like I'm leading an unhappy life, not at all. Especially now.
Third... it was them who talked about love in the first place, not me. I think I have a pretty good idea of what love is or should be (although it could be a bit idealised), and I've had it for a few years now, I don't need -and I don't want- someone to "teach" me, thank you very much.
Fourth... a smile is a very simple thing, but if it comes when you're worried, or tired, or bored, it really is like a ray of sunlight. Who cares if I'm happy with it? Why should I be immature just for liking a smile? I mean... I rather think if someone can't appreciate one, then he's lost all poetry there's in life, thinking this is part of getting an adult. It's one of the little things that can make the difference. If we smiled more, the world would be happier.
But I know we see the world under a different perspective. I didn't think it could be such a difference, but now I can see it more clearly... even though we do agree on many things, we are many miles apart. Well, one of them is furthest; lately I got more than once the impression that he doesn't like some of my friends too much (and I know why, and I know this is the main difference between us). The other one is... just in the middle. I still love both of them, of course. But it's a fact that we see things in different ways, although we can still get along together quite well.
I definitely needed to say it... now I feel better. Time to get back to my medieval latin presentation...!