Comments | the_bigboss: MEMO TO ALL STAFF:

the_bigboss

MEMO TO ALL STAFF:

Dec 19, 2005 01:04

There will be no Holiday Bonuses this year. Instead, everyone will be receiving copies of the New Jersey Hunting Guide.

Happy Holidays,

J.P. Kelleran.

Comments 12

renkokitomi December 19 2005, 06:25:37 UTC

Score! That will help us eliminate our competition.

Thank you boss!

falco84 December 19 2005, 06:41:04 UTC

Whatever it takes to succeed, sir. I want to keep going places in this company!

david_deacon December 19 2005, 08:03:04 UTC

The maintenance staff does nothing but sit by the generators in the basement and play checkers all day, J.P. Shouldn't they be fired?

the_bigboss December 19 2005, 10:49:41 UTC

I SWEAR TO GOD, DEACON. IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE COMPANY PROPERTY RIGHT NOW I WILL HAND YOU YOUR ASS ON A GODDAMN SILVER PLATTER.

doja December 19 2005, 15:09:08 UTC

but... but... i'm vegan, sir.

the_bigboss December 19 2005, 16:30:06 UTC

What the hell is vegan? Is that some arabian religion?

If it weren't for this equal opportunity crap, your ass would be fired.

doja December 19 2005, 16:39:47 UTC

I don't eat animals products.

I figured I was as good as fired anyway. my internet usage has been outrageous.

the_bigboss December 19 2005, 18:43:03 UTC

Don't eat-- animals-- This is-- !! Outrageous!

A hippie! A goddamn hippie in my offices!

Sheila, call security. Make sure they bring tasers.

obscureterminus December 19 2005, 15:49:53 UTC