original fiction: graveyward town

[the_cactusland]

graveyard town
Every morning, Claire Flores sleepdrives through Graveyard Town with her teenage neighbour, where she reads the poems a local poet wrote after he died.
2300, pg-13. for alandalus at inrevelations.

Comments

[the_cactusland]

yeah, the poetry is original! Though completely crappy, I am sure. But wow. This is the first original story I posted and reading this comment means so much, so much to me. Thank you

[mascaratube]

this is more than brilliant. I am at school right now and i want to cry and really they had no right to bury her. i love it, zombies and russel. Amazing dear.

[the_cactusland]

thanks so much! This comment is amazing, thank you! :D Iam so happy you enjoyed it! thank you!

[missy_useless]

God damn it. This is very, very good - ingenious, even - and you have absolutely no reason to be nervous. Wow.

I love the opening line. I love the ending. I love everything in between. This story - this scenario, the pace, the flow, the imagery, the whole writing style - is so haunting. Very beautiful, very visual and relentless and absolutely eerie and haunting. I don't think that this will leave hold of me anytime soon, especially since I kind of fell in love with all the characters. Jesus fucking Christ, seriously. I think I'm going to cry now. Or be scared. Or both. I shouldn't have read this before trying to sleep. I hope you are aware of how amazingly talented you are. I loved the snippets of poetry as well.

Uhm ... apparently I don't have anything insightful to say, as per usual. :/ Again, thank you for sharing your original fiction. I hope you'll post more soon, it was a pleasure to read this.

[the_cactusland]

You are really, honestly, seriously, the most kind person I know. Thank you FOREVER for reading this through and for me leave such nice feedback. This was a complete first for me so just knowing it can convey certain emotions feels amazing - thank you. Seriously. I am indebted to you. Wow! I am so glad you liked the characters and felt moved by the story. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!

[lusimeles]

Oh, wow - I loved this, the little nuances in language, the characters, the unexpected twists and turns - definitely one of my favourites from this round :) I was definitely pulled into the story - the ambience that you created here, and this threw me all over the place in the best way possible. The first and last lines were total genius, btw - altogether a really impressive story!

[the_cactusland]

Thank you so much! It means a lot to get such nice and kind feedback! :D Thank you! :D

[memories_child]

I really like this - it's such a unique idea for a story, and fits the lyrics so well! I wanted to read more of this world; I really like it, and would love to know more about the other characters there. Why are they there? What are they doing each day? But also, I don't have to know, not for this story at least. I'd just like to.

Heh, I'm not sure how much that last sentence made sense!

[the_cactusland]

That last sentence came to illustrate a section when this story had sections but then, it ended up as a crazy crazy last line ;) I am very glad you enjoyed the story and the universe. I think I might develop it further - I do agree it's too vague here. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! :D

[memories_child]

Oh, no-I meant *my* last sentence, not yours. I was kinda rambling on by the time I finished the comment. I liked your last sentence, though combined with the paragraph above it (trying to get the soil from her fingernails) I did wonder if she'd been buried alive (or is that a really obvious part of the story and I'm just being really dense?).

I'd definitely love to read it if you do develop it further.

[the_cactusland]

;) Nah - you're not dense at all. It was quite vague. She died (and killed Robert) in car accident - that's why they kept driving in and out of town each day. I wish I had worked harder in this to make it longer and more explicit.

Thanks so much once again!