188
Write two letters: one to someone who hurt you, one to someone you hurt.
Dear Dad,
I've written this... too many times, yeah? So I suppose, in all those drafts, I've said what I could say. There're hundreds of different ways to
Dear Mum,
I know I told you that it didn't bother me
Dear Mr Bennett,
It came as a right shock when I found out you'd removed me from the milkround this past Tuesday. I've been your loyal & hard-working employee for going on four years now, & to see all my dedication & service be shot just because of the rumors of some shit unpalatable magazines was offensive. Time & again, you've told me in confidence that I was your best employee, the best milkman you have. I've no idea whether you meant it, now, or if you just told everyone that to make them work harder, but I certainly took it personally, just like I'm taking my removal personally now.
If the round ever suffered under my care, if I ever misplaced an order or was given complaints, I wish you'd've told me about them before now. Because, as far as I know, I've been perfect. You've known me longer than these magazines. You hired me with all the expectations you held for your other milkmen, & I like to think I lived up to them.
Doesn't matter what 'The Calcium Kid' does. It matters what Jimmy Connelly does, & he's done good by you and the round. I'd like you to reconsider that before you lose a valuable asset here in Lambeth. Rest assured, this is my last warning, & I'm not about to change my mind on it. If I've been terminated for good, then I'm not coming back.
Sincerely,
Jimmy Connelly
Dear Pete,
Put some ice on it, you wanker.
& drink your milk.
-- THE CALCIUM KID
Dear Dad,
I've written this... too many times, yeah? So I suppose, in all those drafts, I've said what I could say. There're hundreds of different ways to
Dear Mum,
I know I told you that it didn't bother me
Dear Mr Bennett,
It came as a right shock when I found out you'd removed me from the milkround this past Tuesday. I've been your loyal & hard-working employee for going on four years now, & to see all my dedication & service be shot just because of the rumors of some shit unpalatable magazines was offensive. Time & again, you've told me in confidence that I was your best employee, the best milkman you have. I've no idea whether you meant it, now, or if you just told everyone that to make them work harder, but I certainly took it personally, just like I'm taking my removal personally now.
If the round ever suffered under my care, if I ever misplaced an order or was given complaints, I wish you'd've told me about them before now. Because, as far as I know, I've been perfect. You've known me longer than these magazines. You hired me with all the expectations you held for your other milkmen, & I like to think I lived up to them.
Doesn't matter what 'The Calcium Kid' does. It matters what Jimmy Connelly does, & he's done good by you and the round. I'd like you to reconsider that before you lose a valuable asset here in Lambeth. Rest assured, this is my last warning, & I'm not about to change my mind on it. If I've been terminated for good, then I'm not coming back.
Sincerely,
Jimmy Connelly
Dear Pete,
Put some ice on it, you wanker.
& drink your milk.
-- THE CALCIUM KID