2004...the year that was....LLLAAAAAAME!
2004...CANOLIS YEAR IN REVIEW....
MAN OF THE YEAR
who is it? find out by clicking right cheeeeere
Howard Stern- for giving the FCC the bird and jumping to SIRIUS satellite radio either losing or alienating half of his audience or revolutioning radio...again!
Dimebag Darrell of Damageplan/Pantera-for claiming his spot amongst the greatest guitar gods of all time and being gunned down....the only way to go besides OD’ing ,which has been overdone just a tad over the years. he lived and died rock n roll,FUCKers
Philip Anselmo of Pantera/Superjoint Ritual/Down/- for being the most hated and singled out man after Dime’s death and wrongfully so...while he was alive the 2 threw SHIT back and forth at each other cause thats what friends do when they have a falling out...when Dime was killed a cease fire of words came to be and now Phil has nothing but nice things to say....possible retiring from the music biz altogther.
Weird Al Yankovic- despite his daughter being born and his parents dying of Asphyxiation on the same due to a tragic accident invloving the fireplace not being properly maintained,he stayed on tour ...and allowed me to see him for the 3rd time in concert....cause really its all about me
Brian “The Mutant Canoli “Connolly- once again..cause its all about who?
me! in just one year i met a girl, had her come vistit me twice, went back with her once, planned a move, got engaged,i moved.(in the same week on the last 2)...i worked at Wal Mart...ok forget about that last part...but hear me out...
2005 will be mine bitches...and by June 6,2006 ...you will know my name. and/or FEEL my pain. now with a partner in crime by my side...the world will feel my wrath and long term plans do not involve working shitty retail jobs or staying in TEXASS.
BAND OF THE YEAR
Bad Religion
Slayer
Green Day
Killswitch Engage
Damageplan
The Killers
Mastodon
Descendents
PUNK ALBUM OF THE YEAR
GREEN DAY-American Idiot
BAD RELIGION-The Empire Strikes First
DESCENDENTS0Cool to Be You
JOEY CAPE AND TONY SLY-Acoustic
Rock Against Bush 1 and 2
SUM 41-Chuck
DENVER HARBOR-Scenic
VANDALS-Hollywood Potato Chip
ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES-Ruin Johnny Bar Mitzvah
JIMMY EAT WORLD-Futures
STRUNG OUT-Exile in Oblivion
NO MOTIV-Daylight Breaking
METAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE-The End of Heartache
MASTODON-Leviathan
DREAM THEATER-Train of Thought
SLIPKNOT-Vol 3. The Subliminal Verses
TYPE O NEGATIVE-Life is Killing Me
FEAR FACTORY-Archetype
SOULFLY-Prophecy
Probot
DAMAGEPLAN-Breathing New Life
KITTIE-Until The End
AVENGED SEVENFOLD-waking the fallen
ATREYU-The Curse
A PERFECT CIRCLE-eMOTIVe
CHEVELLE-This Type of Thinking Could Do Us In
POP/ROCK ALBUM OF THE YEAR
EMINEM-Encore
PEARL JAM-rearviewmirror-greatest hits 1991-2003
THE KILLERS-Hot Fuss
VANESSA CARLTON-Harmonium
A PERFECT CIRCLE-eMOTIVe
U2-How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
NIRVANA-With The Lights Out Box Set
MELEE-Everyday Behavior
SOUNDTRACK
Team America :World Police
Fahrenheit 9/11
28 Days Later
Freddy Vs Jason
funniest motherfucker/COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR
Chris Rock- Never Scared DVD
Lewis Black-Rules of Enragement CD
Adam Sandler-Shh...Dont Tell CD/Spanglish
Trey Parker and Matt Stone-South Park Season 8/Team America
Dave Chappelle- Chappelles Show Season 2
Dave Attell-Insomniac DVD/ Skanks for the Memories CD
David Cross-Its Not Funny CD/Let America Laugh DVD
Denis Leary- Merry ****in’ Xmas CD
***dane cook,tom green,weird al and george carlin didnt release anything new this year.
jim carrey didnt release anything funny this year.
SONG OF THE YEAR
DREAM THEATER-As I Am
BAD RELIGION-Sinister Rouge
GREEN DAY-Boulevard of Broken Dreams
GREEN DAY-American Idiot
THRICE-Stare at the Sun & All That's Left
ATREYU-Right Side of the Bed/You Give Love a Bad Name
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE-Breathe Life
DAMAGEPLAN-Save Me
EMINEM-Like Toy Soldiers
EMINEM-Ass Like That
EMINEM-My 1st Single
SLIPKNOT-Duality
SUM 41-Were All To Blame
SUM 41-The Bitter End
DENVER HARBOR-Picture Perfect Wannabe
THE KILLERS-Somebody Told Me
THE KILLERS-Mr. Brightside
DESCENDENTS-Nothing with You
JIMMY EAT WORLD-Futures
THE QUIZNOS SPONGEMONKEYS- We Love The Subs
NEW MUSICAL DISCOVERIES
Killswitch Engage
Soilwork
Allister
The Killers
Thrice
Probot
Damageplan
Melee
Dimmu Borgir
Spineshank
Soulfly
Fear Factory
Ill Nino
Headbangers Ball Vol 1 and 2
Warped Tour 2004
MOVIES I SAW
Team America -World Police
Fahrenheit 9/11
Super Size Me
Kill Bill Vol 2
Dawn of the Dead
MOVIE I WANNA SEE
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Meet The Fockers
Sideways
Napolean Dynamite (mainly just to get people to stop telling me i NEED to see this movie...grr)
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
Oceans Twelve
Spanglish
The Longest Yard
Anchorman
CONCERT I SAW
Jagermeister Music Tour- Slayer/Killswitch Engage/Mastodon (Gypsy Ballroom,Deep Ellum Dallas,TX DECEMBER)
97X NEW ROCK SPECTACLE -The Darkness /Authority Zero/Steriogram/ Suburban Tragedy
(Coachman Park,Clearwater,FL JUNE)
Atreyu/From Autum To Ashes (The Masquerade,Ybor City,FL MAY)
Bad Religion/Rise Against/ From First to Last (Trees Deep Ellum Dallas,TX OCTOBER)
Weird Al Yankovic (Ruth Eckerd Hall,Clearwater, FL MAY)
OURS ( Gypsy Tea Room,Deep Ellum Dallas,TX AUGUST)
BUMMER OF THE YEAR:
*Dimebag Darrell R.I.P. 1966-2004 ----proving that America and Gun Control need major improvements....we will constantly continue to be in a work in progress yet at the same time...making none....moving back 2 steps with each step forward.
*The current state of WWE and Pro Wrestling: Wrestlemania 20, NWA-TNA,mass firings, lack of original storylines...made missing over 6 months of WWE programming for the first time in 17 years....no big deal.
*THE FCC IS TAKING OVER/ USA LOSES ITS SENSE OF HUMOR:
bubba the love sponge is fired,howard stern is fined and censored,janet whips out her titty on a sunday afternoon,kevin smith is L-A-M-E without Jay and Silent Bob....did someone one say something about separation of church and state???
could also be why the WWE sucks major balls now as well.
*BUSH IS RE-ELECTED...CAUSE JOHN KERRY IS A DOUCHEBAG AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MORONS....i remembered to register,duuuuh i forgot to vote....as if there wasnt enough reminders...NOV 2 NOV 2 VOTE OR DIE ROCK THE VOTE SMACKDOWN YOUR VOTE.....**** your mom.
and OHIO really licks a llama’s anus.
More Dead Wrestlers and Celebrities:
Rick “Cocaine is Helluva Drug” James, Beeyitch,
Ol’ Dirty Bastard/Dirt Mc Girt/Big Baby Jesus,
Nick and Mary Yankovic (parents of Weird Al)
Rodney “ No Respect/Kill the FUCKing Indian!” Dangerfield, (see Natural Born Killers,Caddyshack,Meet Wally Sparks and Back to School....skip Ladybugs.)
Ray “Big Boss Man/Youre a Nasty Bastard”Traylor
Ray “Hercules” Hernandez
Jack “ WWF Presidente/Therefore...” Tunney
Marianna “ Beaver Cleavage’s Mom” Komlos (part of one of the most craptastic storylines in wrestling history in the WWF circa 1999)
Johnny “1,2,3,4! ” Ramone,
Ronald “ Weeeeelll” Reagan,
Christopher “Superman can’t walk,Superman cant breathe”Reeve
Marlon “Don Vito Corleone/Da muddafuggin Godfather” Brando,
Ray “You got the right one baby,uh-huh/Xavier” Charles,
Julia “Scary Chef” Child,
Laura “Gloria” Branigan,
Yassir “Towelhead” Arafat
Janet “Shower Scene in Psycho” Leigh
JJ “Token Black Old School MTV VJ” Jackson
Tony “ Felix Unger of the Odd Couple” Randall
Stan "Adam's Dad" Sandler and Meatball,his dog
whats with people named Ray dying this year?!?! Traylor,Hernandez and Charles!
MOST SHOCKING MOMENTS
*my lame ass gets engaged at a BLUE MAN GROUP SHOW in Chicago on 7/17/04
*Finally Outta FL---Moved to TX on July 12,2004
*A WHITE CHRISTMAS...IN DALLAS! awoke to a snow covered car in TEXAS?!??! see pics i posted in LJ a few days before XMAS.
*Dimebag is Murdered (equally shocking that i was able to attend the Memorial Serice in Arlington ,TX only 20 mins away from where i currently live and able to see the remaining members of Pantera (minus Phil) and Jerry Cantrell,Zakk Wylde and EDDIE ****IN VAN HALEN!!!)
*THE RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES?!?!?! Boston Red Sox drop their 86 year curse defeating the FUCKING NEW YORK YANKEES OF ALL TEAMS?!?!
at least they didnt get revenge for the 1986 WORLD SERIES loss to the METS...it was the wrong team,fuckers.
btw..for the record...i havent watched Baseball since the Mets won the series that year,so i really could give 2 shits...fuck baseball.
(motherfuck the Tsunamis...those dirtbags needed a good bath ....think of it as a thorough cleansing..both physcially and spiritually...SINNERS!)
BOOKS I READ OR AM CURRENTLY READING
Hollywood Causes Cancer
Broken Harts-The Life and Death of Owen Hart
Wrestlecrap -The Worst of Pro Wrestling
Dude,Wheres My Country
carlin,catcher in rye,cuckoos nest,fear and loathing,sex,lies and headlocks
BEST TV WORTH WATCHING
The Sopranos
Chappelles Show
South Park
The Simpsons
Chris Rock: Never Scared
Uranium on Fuse
Headbangers Ball on MTV2
new episodes of Family Guy in 2005!!!!!!!!!!!
WWE RAW and SMACKDOWN need a kick in the ass this year....
looking forward...this year i turn 25...meaning one thing and one thing only...
I CAN RENT CARS...um...yeah
hopefully my car insurance will go down.and the new STAR WARS movie wont completely suck a donkeys dick.
MOST ANNOYING THING OF THE YEAR
take your pick:
paris hilton,nicky hilton,the olsen twins,britney spears,mandy moore,lindsay lohan,jessica and ashlee “milli vanilli part 2” simpson,jennifer HOpez/bennifer,
TSUNAMI-wave of destruction,the media,TV,bad bad movies,being told every other movie coming out is the BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR or SCARIEST FILM EVER (the grudge,saw,the village,etc) john kerrys monotone voice and stupid horse face, the word BLOG, the term FLIP FLOP,
Bill O’Reilly (Whats the beef sir?!?),Republicans,Ohio (2 strikes....1 for the election and 1 for dimebag’s murder) George Dubya Bush and his lack of debating skills,the overall ignorance of AMERICAN voters on election day...but i did not participate so i cant talk and then again...ya cant blame me----but
THANKS FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION
MAN OF THE YEAR
who is it? find out by clicking right cheeeeere
Howard Stern- for giving the FCC the bird and jumping to SIRIUS satellite radio either losing or alienating half of his audience or revolutioning radio...again!
Dimebag Darrell of Damageplan/Pantera-for claiming his spot amongst the greatest guitar gods of all time and being gunned down....the only way to go besides OD’ing ,which has been overdone just a tad over the years. he lived and died rock n roll,FUCKers
Philip Anselmo of Pantera/Superjoint Ritual/Down/- for being the most hated and singled out man after Dime’s death and wrongfully so...while he was alive the 2 threw SHIT back and forth at each other cause thats what friends do when they have a falling out...when Dime was killed a cease fire of words came to be and now Phil has nothing but nice things to say....possible retiring from the music biz altogther.
Weird Al Yankovic- despite his daughter being born and his parents dying of Asphyxiation on the same due to a tragic accident invloving the fireplace not being properly maintained,he stayed on tour ...and allowed me to see him for the 3rd time in concert....cause really its all about me
Brian “The Mutant Canoli “Connolly- once again..cause its all about who?
me! in just one year i met a girl, had her come vistit me twice, went back with her once, planned a move, got engaged,i moved.(in the same week on the last 2)...i worked at Wal Mart...ok forget about that last part...but hear me out...
2005 will be mine bitches...and by June 6,2006 ...you will know my name. and/or FEEL my pain. now with a partner in crime by my side...the world will feel my wrath and long term plans do not involve working shitty retail jobs or staying in TEXASS.
BAND OF THE YEAR
Bad Religion
Slayer
Green Day
Killswitch Engage
Damageplan
The Killers
Mastodon
Descendents
PUNK ALBUM OF THE YEAR
GREEN DAY-American Idiot
BAD RELIGION-The Empire Strikes First
DESCENDENTS0Cool to Be You
JOEY CAPE AND TONY SLY-Acoustic
Rock Against Bush 1 and 2
SUM 41-Chuck
DENVER HARBOR-Scenic
VANDALS-Hollywood Potato Chip
ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES-Ruin Johnny Bar Mitzvah
JIMMY EAT WORLD-Futures
STRUNG OUT-Exile in Oblivion
NO MOTIV-Daylight Breaking
METAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE-The End of Heartache
MASTODON-Leviathan
DREAM THEATER-Train of Thought
SLIPKNOT-Vol 3. The Subliminal Verses
TYPE O NEGATIVE-Life is Killing Me
FEAR FACTORY-Archetype
SOULFLY-Prophecy
Probot
DAMAGEPLAN-Breathing New Life
KITTIE-Until The End
AVENGED SEVENFOLD-waking the fallen
ATREYU-The Curse
A PERFECT CIRCLE-eMOTIVe
CHEVELLE-This Type of Thinking Could Do Us In
POP/ROCK ALBUM OF THE YEAR
EMINEM-Encore
PEARL JAM-rearviewmirror-greatest hits 1991-2003
THE KILLERS-Hot Fuss
VANESSA CARLTON-Harmonium
A PERFECT CIRCLE-eMOTIVe
U2-How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
NIRVANA-With The Lights Out Box Set
MELEE-Everyday Behavior
SOUNDTRACK
Team America :World Police
Fahrenheit 9/11
28 Days Later
Freddy Vs Jason
funniest motherfucker/COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR
Chris Rock- Never Scared DVD
Lewis Black-Rules of Enragement CD
Adam Sandler-Shh...Dont Tell CD/Spanglish
Trey Parker and Matt Stone-South Park Season 8/Team America
Dave Chappelle- Chappelles Show Season 2
Dave Attell-Insomniac DVD/ Skanks for the Memories CD
David Cross-Its Not Funny CD/Let America Laugh DVD
Denis Leary- Merry ****in’ Xmas CD
***dane cook,tom green,weird al and george carlin didnt release anything new this year.
jim carrey didnt release anything funny this year.
SONG OF THE YEAR
DREAM THEATER-As I Am
BAD RELIGION-Sinister Rouge
GREEN DAY-Boulevard of Broken Dreams
GREEN DAY-American Idiot
THRICE-Stare at the Sun & All That's Left
ATREYU-Right Side of the Bed/You Give Love a Bad Name
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE-Breathe Life
DAMAGEPLAN-Save Me
EMINEM-Like Toy Soldiers
EMINEM-Ass Like That
EMINEM-My 1st Single
SLIPKNOT-Duality
SUM 41-Were All To Blame
SUM 41-The Bitter End
DENVER HARBOR-Picture Perfect Wannabe
THE KILLERS-Somebody Told Me
THE KILLERS-Mr. Brightside
DESCENDENTS-Nothing with You
JIMMY EAT WORLD-Futures
THE QUIZNOS SPONGEMONKEYS- We Love The Subs
NEW MUSICAL DISCOVERIES
Killswitch Engage
Soilwork
Allister
The Killers
Thrice
Probot
Damageplan
Melee
Dimmu Borgir
Spineshank
Soulfly
Fear Factory
Ill Nino
Headbangers Ball Vol 1 and 2
Warped Tour 2004
MOVIES I SAW
Team America -World Police
Fahrenheit 9/11
Super Size Me
Kill Bill Vol 2
Dawn of the Dead
MOVIE I WANNA SEE
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Meet The Fockers
Sideways
Napolean Dynamite (mainly just to get people to stop telling me i NEED to see this movie...grr)
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
Oceans Twelve
Spanglish
The Longest Yard
Anchorman
CONCERT I SAW
Jagermeister Music Tour- Slayer/Killswitch Engage/Mastodon (Gypsy Ballroom,Deep Ellum Dallas,TX DECEMBER)
97X NEW ROCK SPECTACLE -The Darkness /Authority Zero/Steriogram/ Suburban Tragedy
(Coachman Park,Clearwater,FL JUNE)
Atreyu/From Autum To Ashes (The Masquerade,Ybor City,FL MAY)
Bad Religion/Rise Against/ From First to Last (Trees Deep Ellum Dallas,TX OCTOBER)
Weird Al Yankovic (Ruth Eckerd Hall,Clearwater, FL MAY)
OURS ( Gypsy Tea Room,Deep Ellum Dallas,TX AUGUST)
BUMMER OF THE YEAR:
*Dimebag Darrell R.I.P. 1966-2004 ----proving that America and Gun Control need major improvements....we will constantly continue to be in a work in progress yet at the same time...making none....moving back 2 steps with each step forward.
*The current state of WWE and Pro Wrestling: Wrestlemania 20, NWA-TNA,mass firings, lack of original storylines...made missing over 6 months of WWE programming for the first time in 17 years....no big deal.
*THE FCC IS TAKING OVER/ USA LOSES ITS SENSE OF HUMOR:
bubba the love sponge is fired,howard stern is fined and censored,janet whips out her titty on a sunday afternoon,kevin smith is L-A-M-E without Jay and Silent Bob....did someone one say something about separation of church and state???
could also be why the WWE sucks major balls now as well.
*BUSH IS RE-ELECTED...CAUSE JOHN KERRY IS A DOUCHEBAG AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MORONS....i remembered to register,duuuuh i forgot to vote....as if there wasnt enough reminders...NOV 2 NOV 2 VOTE OR DIE ROCK THE VOTE SMACKDOWN YOUR VOTE.....**** your mom.
and OHIO really licks a llama’s anus.
More Dead Wrestlers and Celebrities:
Rick “Cocaine is Helluva Drug” James, Beeyitch,
Ol’ Dirty Bastard/Dirt Mc Girt/Big Baby Jesus,
Nick and Mary Yankovic (parents of Weird Al)
Rodney “ No Respect/Kill the FUCKing Indian!” Dangerfield, (see Natural Born Killers,Caddyshack,Meet Wally Sparks and Back to School....skip Ladybugs.)
Ray “Big Boss Man/Youre a Nasty Bastard”Traylor
Ray “Hercules” Hernandez
Jack “ WWF Presidente/Therefore...” Tunney
Marianna “ Beaver Cleavage’s Mom” Komlos (part of one of the most craptastic storylines in wrestling history in the WWF circa 1999)
Johnny “1,2,3,4! ” Ramone,
Ronald “ Weeeeelll” Reagan,
Christopher “Superman can’t walk,Superman cant breathe”Reeve
Marlon “Don Vito Corleone/Da muddafuggin Godfather” Brando,
Ray “You got the right one baby,uh-huh/Xavier” Charles,
Julia “Scary Chef” Child,
Laura “Gloria” Branigan,
Yassir “Towelhead” Arafat
Janet “Shower Scene in Psycho” Leigh
JJ “Token Black Old School MTV VJ” Jackson
Tony “ Felix Unger of the Odd Couple” Randall
Stan "Adam's Dad" Sandler and Meatball,his dog
whats with people named Ray dying this year?!?! Traylor,Hernandez and Charles!
MOST SHOCKING MOMENTS
*my lame ass gets engaged at a BLUE MAN GROUP SHOW in Chicago on 7/17/04
*Finally Outta FL---Moved to TX on July 12,2004
*A WHITE CHRISTMAS...IN DALLAS! awoke to a snow covered car in TEXAS?!??! see pics i posted in LJ a few days before XMAS.
*Dimebag is Murdered (equally shocking that i was able to attend the Memorial Serice in Arlington ,TX only 20 mins away from where i currently live and able to see the remaining members of Pantera (minus Phil) and Jerry Cantrell,Zakk Wylde and EDDIE ****IN VAN HALEN!!!)
*THE RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES?!?!?! Boston Red Sox drop their 86 year curse defeating the FUCKING NEW YORK YANKEES OF ALL TEAMS?!?!
at least they didnt get revenge for the 1986 WORLD SERIES loss to the METS...it was the wrong team,fuckers.
btw..for the record...i havent watched Baseball since the Mets won the series that year,so i really could give 2 shits...fuck baseball.
(motherfuck the Tsunamis...those dirtbags needed a good bath ....think of it as a thorough cleansing..both physcially and spiritually...SINNERS!)
BOOKS I READ OR AM CURRENTLY READING
Hollywood Causes Cancer
Broken Harts-The Life and Death of Owen Hart
Wrestlecrap -The Worst of Pro Wrestling
Dude,Wheres My Country
carlin,catcher in rye,cuckoos nest,fear and loathing,sex,lies and headlocks
BEST TV WORTH WATCHING
The Sopranos
Chappelles Show
South Park
The Simpsons
Chris Rock: Never Scared
Uranium on Fuse
Headbangers Ball on MTV2
new episodes of Family Guy in 2005!!!!!!!!!!!
WWE RAW and SMACKDOWN need a kick in the ass this year....
looking forward...this year i turn 25...meaning one thing and one thing only...
I CAN RENT CARS...um...yeah
hopefully my car insurance will go down.and the new STAR WARS movie wont completely suck a donkeys dick.
MOST ANNOYING THING OF THE YEAR
take your pick:
paris hilton,nicky hilton,the olsen twins,britney spears,mandy moore,lindsay lohan,jessica and ashlee “milli vanilli part 2” simpson,jennifer HOpez/bennifer,
TSUNAMI-wave of destruction,the media,TV,bad bad movies,being told every other movie coming out is the BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR or SCARIEST FILM EVER (the grudge,saw,the village,etc) john kerrys monotone voice and stupid horse face, the word BLOG, the term FLIP FLOP,
Bill O’Reilly (Whats the beef sir?!?),Republicans,Ohio (2 strikes....1 for the election and 1 for dimebag’s murder) George Dubya Bush and his lack of debating skills,the overall ignorance of AMERICAN voters on election day...but i did not participate so i cant talk and then again...ya cant blame me----but
THANKS FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION