I have a livejournal?
Yeah, so, apparently, by "in a little bit" actually means "almost a month." Oops.
In fact, when was the last time I made a substantial update to this thing? Months at the least. So, guess what this means?
That's right! Infodump! I'm about to throw so much information at you that your head will explode!
...I'd get a towel if I were you.
So, where do I start?
I graduated high school. Yay. Um, then that was about it for awhile. After graduation, I pretty much just stayed home and alternately played WOW and watched Buffy on dvd. Which is all kinds of fun, yeah, but it kinda sad after awhile.
So, since my only friend in town couldn't hang out with me cause he was working all the time, I decided to bite the bullet and get a job. After numerous failures (including repeated attempts to get hired at my local headshop), somebody was finally stupid or desperate enough to hire me. I was now officially a Pizza Delivery Guy.
Yeah, that's right. I'm that awesome.
It was great job. All I did was drive around all day listening to music and getting paid quite handsomely. Unfortunately, very few customers were hot girls who answered the door in next to no clothing. And those that did, never invited me in for a "tip." I'm very dissapointed. I can't believe porn lied to me. Whatever, at least now I could afford to buy drugs and comic books.
Meanwhile, Murray and I were seriously considering whether we should go to the Warped Tour this year. These considerations usually consisted of one of us asking the other "So, are we going to the Warped Tour this year?" and the other responding, "I guess, do you want to go?" Needless to say, we were both very confused by the conversation's end.
Anyway, we eventually agree on "yes" and agree to buy tickets online, which I promptly do and Murray promptly doesn't. Whatever, we'll find him a way in. So, I wake up early on Saturday morning to driver over to Murray's when who should call but the Murr-man himself. It seems his boss called him into work unexpectedly today. I handled this wrinkle with all the maturity my 18 years on this earth have granted me.
In other words, I spazzed.
Eventually, after the yelling had stopped, we came up with the Awesomest Plan In Existence (TM): Instead of going to the Miami show on Saturday, we would drive all the way to Orlando for the show the next day. Even though we didn't have tickets and had no way of knowing if we could get in. I know some of you are saying: "But what if you couldn't get in, Matt? What if there were no tickets left? You would have driven hours for nothing! What would you do then, motherfucker, what would you do then?"
Easy, we'd go to Disney World.
Whatever, so, we get up really early the next day, gulp down two huge cups of coffee, and then we're on the turnpike. The road trip had begun. We spent the trip up singing at the top of our lungs to the stereo and having madcap adventures, the likes of which haven't been seen out of those episodes of Batman: The Animated Series where Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy team up and wackiness ensues. Exactly like that...except we're not gay for each other. Well, mostly.
We made incredible time (mostly because I was going 90) and got there about 1030-1100am (well, after getting lost somewhere in downtown Orlando). We walked past the huge line of people waiting to get in and got on the slightly smaller but also huge line of people waiting to buy tickets. We then spent the next half-hour or so making fun of the emo kids, nodding seriously and exchanging brotherly looks with anybody wearing a Leftover Crack tshirt, and generally pretending to be Blake and Fletcher (I think I was Blake).
RIght, so we're standing there and here comes this guy walkind down the line asking if anyone has a cingular phone and if they do could they come with him. Murray and I (who both have cingular) look at each and, without saying a word, decide that this guy is crazy and that he's going to sacrifice everone with a cingular phone to the dark god Cthulu and if anybody asks, we have verizon. As it turns out, our talent of spotting demon worshippers ten yards away wasn't working that day, as the guy was actually there to let everone with a cingular phone in for free.
In the split second it took to process that, we had run over, shoved our phones in the guys face, and dashed through gate, laughing maniacally.
Yes, we got into Warped Tour for free. Yes, it was awesome. Yes, even if every band wound up sucking (which was not the case) the entire trip was worth it just for that.
After we had calmed down and called everbody we could get a hold of to brag, we decided to get the lay of the land and actually listen to some music.
First up was the Bouncing Souls
After their set, we wandered around some more and I made a beeline for the Trojan tent for some free condoms. Just for the principle of the thing. Eventually, we wandered to one of the side stages where I discovered one of my new favorite bands: The Dollyrots. I don't have picture, I'm sorry. I wish I did. You should have seen this lead singer. Smokin'. I know there's this whole debate on the objectification of women in punk rock, but this wasn't lust, dudes, this was love. She was hot. She could sing. She played guitar, And she wrote old school punk rock songs with titles like "Because I'm Awesome." I was totally smitten.
Later, at their merch tent, I stuttered and blushed and bought all of their CDs.
Then, we went to go see the original sexy rocker chick. Ladies and gentlemen, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts:
She ended with "I Love Rock n Roll," of course, and everybody sang along. It was pretty fucking awesome.
Then, we wandered some more and I got a Choking Victim CD and a Fat Wreck tshirt. And then, as it was Florida and as it was a day ending in -y, it started to rain. Most people outside of Florida don't really know what this entails. Sure, they've experienced rain, but I don't think anyone who has never lived in Florida can understand looking at a clear blue sky and getting sunburned like crazy and then being suddenly soaked in a torrential downpour as the sky instaneously turns a deep purple. And have that not phase in the least because it happens every fucking day. At exactly the same time. I can set my watch by it. Seriously.
So, now its raining. And did I mention that the majority of Warped Tour was taking place on a baseball field? So, now its raining and there's a big pile of dirt that's rapidly turning into mud. Very Woodstock-y. But while hippies would dance, what would "punks" do?
MUD WRESTLING! Sometimes I love people.
So, me and Murray sat under the awning and watched this for awhile until the rain finally let up just in time for the moment I had been waiting for, the real reason I drove three hours to go to some crappy festival where most of the bands suck soulless corporations suck all the individuality and meaning out of a movement that was once revolutionary:
AGAINST ME!
Tom, about to swallow the microphone.
Andrew, who as usual, is excited beyond all reasonable measure.
James refused to stay focused, this is the best picture I could get.
And Warren, who would not sit still and was always hiding behind guitars.
Man, what I would give for a beard like Warren's. They played an amazing set. Alot of songs off of Cowboy and Searching, a couple of new songs, but just one off of Reinventing and nothing older than that. Which is fine, because I have a deep and undying love for every one of their songs, but I would have given up a whole mess of body parts for "Walking is Still Honest" or "Disco Before the Breakdown." They only had half an hour, so I guess I would have been disappointed no matter what. We tried to get them back for an encoure. The entire crowd was yelling "One more song!" but I guess they weren't allowed to. Pfft. Like anybody cared about that band playing after them.
But they were done and I was spent. However, I quickly recovered as we dashed across the park and got to the next stage as Catch-22 started their set.
I stayed and skanked until after they played Keaseby Nights and then I took off cause I wanted to get into a good position for the next act: NOFX
Only Fat Mike can pull off wearing a cowboy hat and a Subhumans shirt at the same time.
El Hefe. Mexicans, like Bigfoot, are notoriously difficult to capture on film.
Eric Melvin. The picture is actually in focus, Eric was just on alot of PCP that day
They played the minimum requirement of twelve songs in under 8 minutes and then spent the rest of the set fucking around and telling lame jokes about Underoath. So, typical NOFX set. Oh, and Fat Mike heard a great joke from one of the Blackhearts:
"What does the Jewish child molester say to his victims?
Hey, kids, wanna buy some candy?"
Well, I thought it was hilarious.
After that, we stumbled on out of the park and collapsed into the car. After another cup of coffee or two, and a stop at Burger King (where I got a kickass Superman wristband in my kids meal), we saddled up and headed on home. It was a hell of a road trip.
Our intrepid adventurers.
Pondering the mysteries of the universe. For instance, what's the deal with the girl-pants?
Not much has happened since then. I saw Superman Returns, for which Bryan Singer deserves all kinds of rewards. Exactly what I was hoping for. I saw Pirates 2, which I think was awesome, but I don't really remember cause I was really high when I saw it. And today I saw Clerks 2 which was exceedingly awesome, hilarious, and surprisingly touching. It made me realize how much I love movies about hetero man-love. I love a good buddy movie.
Oh, and I quit my job because I'm going to college in 18 days. Yeah. Summer's over. I'm going to be a college freshman in a little over two weeks. I'm terrified.
I move down to Miami August 18th. Which also happens to be the same day Snakes on a Plane comes out. I'll take that as a portent: There are awesome things to come in my future. Plus I now have an idea for my first student film: SNAKES IN A DORM ROOM.
'Cause I'm tired of all these motherfuckin' snakes in my motherfuckin' dorm room.
ETA: Oh, and I decided to upgrade to a Sponsored account cause I'm a corporate whore : )
In fact, when was the last time I made a substantial update to this thing? Months at the least. So, guess what this means?
That's right! Infodump! I'm about to throw so much information at you that your head will explode!
...I'd get a towel if I were you.
So, where do I start?
I graduated high school. Yay. Um, then that was about it for awhile. After graduation, I pretty much just stayed home and alternately played WOW and watched Buffy on dvd. Which is all kinds of fun, yeah, but it kinda sad after awhile.
So, since my only friend in town couldn't hang out with me cause he was working all the time, I decided to bite the bullet and get a job. After numerous failures (including repeated attempts to get hired at my local headshop), somebody was finally stupid or desperate enough to hire me. I was now officially a Pizza Delivery Guy.
Yeah, that's right. I'm that awesome.
It was great job. All I did was drive around all day listening to music and getting paid quite handsomely. Unfortunately, very few customers were hot girls who answered the door in next to no clothing. And those that did, never invited me in for a "tip." I'm very dissapointed. I can't believe porn lied to me. Whatever, at least now I could afford to buy drugs and comic books.
Meanwhile, Murray and I were seriously considering whether we should go to the Warped Tour this year. These considerations usually consisted of one of us asking the other "So, are we going to the Warped Tour this year?" and the other responding, "I guess, do you want to go?" Needless to say, we were both very confused by the conversation's end.
Anyway, we eventually agree on "yes" and agree to buy tickets online, which I promptly do and Murray promptly doesn't. Whatever, we'll find him a way in. So, I wake up early on Saturday morning to driver over to Murray's when who should call but the Murr-man himself. It seems his boss called him into work unexpectedly today. I handled this wrinkle with all the maturity my 18 years on this earth have granted me.
In other words, I spazzed.
Eventually, after the yelling had stopped, we came up with the Awesomest Plan In Existence (TM): Instead of going to the Miami show on Saturday, we would drive all the way to Orlando for the show the next day. Even though we didn't have tickets and had no way of knowing if we could get in. I know some of you are saying: "But what if you couldn't get in, Matt? What if there were no tickets left? You would have driven hours for nothing! What would you do then, motherfucker, what would you do then?"
Easy, we'd go to Disney World.
Whatever, so, we get up really early the next day, gulp down two huge cups of coffee, and then we're on the turnpike. The road trip had begun. We spent the trip up singing at the top of our lungs to the stereo and having madcap adventures, the likes of which haven't been seen out of those episodes of Batman: The Animated Series where Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy team up and wackiness ensues. Exactly like that...except we're not gay for each other. Well, mostly.
We made incredible time (mostly because I was going 90) and got there about 1030-1100am (well, after getting lost somewhere in downtown Orlando). We walked past the huge line of people waiting to get in and got on the slightly smaller but also huge line of people waiting to buy tickets. We then spent the next half-hour or so making fun of the emo kids, nodding seriously and exchanging brotherly looks with anybody wearing a Leftover Crack tshirt, and generally pretending to be Blake and Fletcher (I think I was Blake).
RIght, so we're standing there and here comes this guy walkind down the line asking if anyone has a cingular phone and if they do could they come with him. Murray and I (who both have cingular) look at each and, without saying a word, decide that this guy is crazy and that he's going to sacrifice everone with a cingular phone to the dark god Cthulu and if anybody asks, we have verizon. As it turns out, our talent of spotting demon worshippers ten yards away wasn't working that day, as the guy was actually there to let everone with a cingular phone in for free.
In the split second it took to process that, we had run over, shoved our phones in the guys face, and dashed through gate, laughing maniacally.
Yes, we got into Warped Tour for free. Yes, it was awesome. Yes, even if every band wound up sucking (which was not the case) the entire trip was worth it just for that.
After we had calmed down and called everbody we could get a hold of to brag, we decided to get the lay of the land and actually listen to some music.
First up was the Bouncing Souls
After their set, we wandered around some more and I made a beeline for the Trojan tent for some free condoms. Just for the principle of the thing. Eventually, we wandered to one of the side stages where I discovered one of my new favorite bands: The Dollyrots. I don't have picture, I'm sorry. I wish I did. You should have seen this lead singer. Smokin'. I know there's this whole debate on the objectification of women in punk rock, but this wasn't lust, dudes, this was love. She was hot. She could sing. She played guitar, And she wrote old school punk rock songs with titles like "Because I'm Awesome." I was totally smitten.
Later, at their merch tent, I stuttered and blushed and bought all of their CDs.
Then, we went to go see the original sexy rocker chick. Ladies and gentlemen, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts:
She ended with "I Love Rock n Roll," of course, and everybody sang along. It was pretty fucking awesome.
Then, we wandered some more and I got a Choking Victim CD and a Fat Wreck tshirt. And then, as it was Florida and as it was a day ending in -y, it started to rain. Most people outside of Florida don't really know what this entails. Sure, they've experienced rain, but I don't think anyone who has never lived in Florida can understand looking at a clear blue sky and getting sunburned like crazy and then being suddenly soaked in a torrential downpour as the sky instaneously turns a deep purple. And have that not phase in the least because it happens every fucking day. At exactly the same time. I can set my watch by it. Seriously.
So, now its raining. And did I mention that the majority of Warped Tour was taking place on a baseball field? So, now its raining and there's a big pile of dirt that's rapidly turning into mud. Very Woodstock-y. But while hippies would dance, what would "punks" do?
MUD WRESTLING! Sometimes I love people.
So, me and Murray sat under the awning and watched this for awhile until the rain finally let up just in time for the moment I had been waiting for, the real reason I drove three hours to go to some crappy festival where most of the bands suck soulless corporations suck all the individuality and meaning out of a movement that was once revolutionary:
AGAINST ME!
Tom, about to swallow the microphone.
Andrew, who as usual, is excited beyond all reasonable measure.
James refused to stay focused, this is the best picture I could get.
And Warren, who would not sit still and was always hiding behind guitars.
Man, what I would give for a beard like Warren's. They played an amazing set. Alot of songs off of Cowboy and Searching, a couple of new songs, but just one off of Reinventing and nothing older than that. Which is fine, because I have a deep and undying love for every one of their songs, but I would have given up a whole mess of body parts for "Walking is Still Honest" or "Disco Before the Breakdown." They only had half an hour, so I guess I would have been disappointed no matter what. We tried to get them back for an encoure. The entire crowd was yelling "One more song!" but I guess they weren't allowed to. Pfft. Like anybody cared about that band playing after them.
But they were done and I was spent. However, I quickly recovered as we dashed across the park and got to the next stage as Catch-22 started their set.
I stayed and skanked until after they played Keaseby Nights and then I took off cause I wanted to get into a good position for the next act: NOFX
Only Fat Mike can pull off wearing a cowboy hat and a Subhumans shirt at the same time.
El Hefe. Mexicans, like Bigfoot, are notoriously difficult to capture on film.
Eric Melvin. The picture is actually in focus, Eric was just on alot of PCP that day
They played the minimum requirement of twelve songs in under 8 minutes and then spent the rest of the set fucking around and telling lame jokes about Underoath. So, typical NOFX set. Oh, and Fat Mike heard a great joke from one of the Blackhearts:
"What does the Jewish child molester say to his victims?
Hey, kids, wanna buy some candy?"
Well, I thought it was hilarious.
After that, we stumbled on out of the park and collapsed into the car. After another cup of coffee or two, and a stop at Burger King (where I got a kickass Superman wristband in my kids meal), we saddled up and headed on home. It was a hell of a road trip.
Our intrepid adventurers.
Pondering the mysteries of the universe. For instance, what's the deal with the girl-pants?
Not much has happened since then. I saw Superman Returns, for which Bryan Singer deserves all kinds of rewards. Exactly what I was hoping for. I saw Pirates 2, which I think was awesome, but I don't really remember cause I was really high when I saw it. And today I saw Clerks 2 which was exceedingly awesome, hilarious, and surprisingly touching. It made me realize how much I love movies about hetero man-love. I love a good buddy movie.
Oh, and I quit my job because I'm going to college in 18 days. Yeah. Summer's over. I'm going to be a college freshman in a little over two weeks. I'm terrified.
I move down to Miami August 18th. Which also happens to be the same day Snakes on a Plane comes out. I'll take that as a portent: There are awesome things to come in my future. Plus I now have an idea for my first student film: SNAKES IN A DORM ROOM.
'Cause I'm tired of all these motherfuckin' snakes in my motherfuckin' dorm room.
ETA: Oh, and I decided to upgrade to a Sponsored account cause I'm a corporate whore : )