At World's End, again
This gets even more ridiculous than the DMC one, if you can believe it. I just...I love this story. I love it so much.
--THIS OPENING IS DARK AS FUCK. Seriously, how many people get hanged (ON CAMERA!) in two minutes? 40? 50? And you see their belongings collected and their bodies dragged off in carts (which is maybe an intentional Holocaust reference?) Damn, Disney. I think I remember people gasping in the theater.
--"Hoist the Colors" is so freaking good. I still get it stuck in my head from time to time. It really does sound like a traditional tune, which is impressive.
--Groves. Oh baby, what have you gotten yourself into? Aside from a tacky uniform, of course.
--We're four minutes in and I had to pause for a moment. This movie is really not fucking around.
--So let me warn you right now that I'm gonna be talking about Tai Huang a lot, because he's one of my favorite minor characters in anything ever. He is such a tiny but clever bit of writing that I'm pretty sure 95% of the audience doesn't even notice. When we first met him, he's answering ELizabeth's pirate birdcall and also threatening her. We'll check back in with him in a little while.
--The Singapore set is an interesting contrast to the saturated colors of the bright Caribbean sunshine and blue waters we've grown accustomed to - all shadows and reds and greens.
--Elizabeth's weapons inventory amuses me to no end, especially Keira's expressions through the whole thing and the little "So?" shrug she does at the end. She would have fit right in the silent film era.
--Chow Yun-Fat is nicely menacing. He gets extra credit for tying Will up and soaking him thoroughly. I still want to know what Jack did to piss him off, and also the backstory with the badass steam girls.
--The Chinese junk is so pretty! That sail!
--Do you think Beckett plays with his toy ships and toy soldiers in the bath?
--James getting his sword back, oh my heart. And Weatherby signing execution orders :( That would actually be a good fic, what's going on in Port Royal while our antiheroes are gallivanting around the seas.
--Ahaha I forgot about Pintel stealing Gibbs' storytelling thunder.
--I know he's a bad guy but Davy Jones' sad face is so effective! I love that his display of emotion is how he knows the chest is near.
--Murtogg and Mullroy! Hello, boys.
--Ohhhh the junk sailing through the stars is SO BEAUTIFUL. The perfect setting for a little Will/Elizabeth angst. You know, for the first time I'm realizing that after DMC I pretty much wrote nothing but Will and Elizabeth. Sometimes with Jack in tow, true, but still focused on them. I just really loved their storyline. In part because the actors nailed it; in part because it feels true. What happens to the prince and the princess after the storybook ending? They get their wires crossed and they don't tell each other things and other shit interferes and they're still trying to figure out who they are as people. And if they're strong enough, they face it together in the end. The conflict feels organic to their characters, not trumped-up drama (hi, meet Will "Daddy Issues" Turner and Elizabeth "The Lady or the Pirate" Swann). And so the resolution feels earned, including its touch of tragedy. That's why I'm leery of them appearing in the new film; as much as I adore the characters, I'm satisfied with their story being closed.
--Another point that is related but doesn't belong in that point up above: ship what you ship, but it seems clear to me that this is the story the writers always wanted to tell, and I give them credit for doing so. End soapbox.
--Calypso warning Will about the price that must be paid...so much foreshadowing.
--I love the Multiple Jacks sequence. LOVE IT. THe visuals are incredible, and it's so weird and unsettling and surreal and beautifully overlit. I mean, wtf goat. One minute it's comical and the next minute it's genuinely scary (Jack stabbing himself). It's also fun seing Johnny's costume in so many permutations. AND THE TATTOOS! What is that written all over his back? AND THEN THE ROCK CRABS! The rock crabs are everything.
--Will's the one who figures out Jack thinks he's hallucinating them. I'm just saying. There's room for three peas in that pod, darling.
--Oh, it's a treat to watch Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush act together. They even pull off that cheap dick joke - TWICE.
--A note on costuming yet again: love Will in the dark red shirt and black vest - dark like his story has gotten amd will get; and Elizabeth in her Chinese outfit that looks like armor. Perfect. Did he have the earring last movie? I can't remember.
--It is SO HOT when he pushes her up against the mast, unf. And I love this bit - it would actually be easier for him if she'd loved Jack. It's a lot harder that she did something so life-altering as betray a friend and not tell him.
--Calypso's grief over the lost souls is nicely done, and they're a haunting sight. The little girls in the boat, ouch.
--Weatherby noooooo. And here we check off an important item on the Classic Hero myth for our heroine. And Jack and Will both reaching out to her with compassion even with all the shit that's gone down (though Jack won't follow her aft, you'll notice). "I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. I'll give your love to your mother, shall I?" auuuuuuggggghhh he was such a good dad
--That being said, Calypso creeping into frame behind Will when Weatherby talks about stabbing the heart? Cracked my shit up. You may be a goddess, girl, but subtlty is not your strong suit.
--I would have preferred they make the angel/devil Jacks full-size and have them be kind of filmy, personally.
--The "Up Is Down" theme is another of my favorites. It's fun to whistle.
--Elizabeth failing to catch hold of Will when they flip - more foreshadowing. This sequence must've been a bitch to film.
--Gunfight at the Black Pearl Corral: Barbossa first draws on Jack, then Will and Elizabeth both draw on Barbossa; Jack draws on Will, who retaliates, and then on Elizabeth who does so looking disgusted; Gibbs is on WIll and Barbossa; and then I lose track. Oh, and Jack the Monkey draws on Cotton's parrot, the bastard.
--The dead kraken is a weird, sad sight. It was only acting according to its nature, after all. I liked that they did that with it. It's a big part of why I wrote "Creature Comforts," which I think was my last completed canon-compliant fic, actually (I wrote a Sparrington after that but it's post-CoBP).
--Barbossa calling Jack "lad" does interesting things to my brain. Up until this movie, I viewed Barbossa to be quite menacing and scary, and wrote him more hardcore villainish than even CoBP. I mean, he repeatedly threatens Elizabeth with rape and seems quite willing to carry it out when the curse is lifted - he's a scary motherfucker. But of course to use him in this capacity they had to soften him a little, and I think they did it well - presenting him as brethren to Jack (despite the betrayal, which reasoning I guess is just...pirate? That covers a multitude of sins. If we can forgive Elizabeth, we can forgive Hector) and a bit of a mentor to baby pirates Elizabeth and Will. There's also the fact that nobody spouts piratey dialogue better than Geoffrey Rush. He really seems to relish it, bless him.
--Jack's struggle with his mortality is so well-played, when Johnny gets to do those quieter moments - it's always there behind his eyes.
--Tai Huang update: turns out he's completely loyal to Sao Feng. An admirable quality in a second, to be sure.
--It's kinda satisfying watching Jack get popped in the nose, ngl. I love him but he so often deserves it.
--Ohhh, the Beckett and Jack scene. So much left unsaid. The thing about the slave ship is quasi-canon, right? Wasn't it in one of the junior novelizations? It's part of MY canon, anyway. The fact that killing Jack is the thing that Beckett wants most...
--I wish we could've had Norrington onscreen while the Pearl, Empress and whatwasBeckett'sshipnamed(it's not the Dauntless, is it?) are all gathered. He gets his last scene with Elizabeth, but not Will or Jack.
--I love that little look Elizabeth gives Sao Feng when he side-eyes her. And also Elizabeth going fuck you guys, I'll go under my own bloody power. And also just Elizabeth in general.
--Oh it's the Endeavour, that's right. Bye bye, mainmast. And as ever, Groves <3 Jack Sparrow.
--I LOVE ELIZABETH'S EMPRESS DRESS OMG. One day, I will cosplay this.
--Elizabeth gets to be a captain yaaaaay. IT'S ALL HAPPENING. Keira's line reading of "He made me captain" is one of my favorites in the entire trilogy.
--Tai Huang check-in: he is deeply saddened by Sao Feng's death and mistrustful of Elizabeth. "You are not my captain." Thus he is perfectly happy to turn her in to Jones.
--What was that I was saying about wishing for a Norrington appearance? I take it back. This hurts. Even after all this time, it hurts. The look on his face when he sees her, and the way he hugs her, and his believing that Beckett really sent Weatherby off to the farm England...Jack Dav's sad face HURTS my HEART. At least he gets to command Jones with that sexy commodore voice
--"The captain shall have my quarters." WHY DIDN'T I WRITE THIS INTERLUDE
--Tai Huang update: I know it's difficult to turn your eyes away from Jack Dav's beautiful visage, but watch Tai Huang as she refuses Norrington's courtesies and says she'd rather remain with her crew (who just sold her out). His face is all dawning respect. From this point on, he is 100% Elizabeth's man. I LOVE THAT. They didn't have to do that! It doesn't impact the plot! It's just good writing!
--Aw man, Bootstrap's back. Time to fuck up some more shit.
--But here's where Elizabeth gets Will's motivation, which I love. Bootstrap's so sad and pathetic (even though I WOULDN'T PICK YOU EITHER. Why didn't you tell WIll about that whole captain thing earlier, huh?)
--Elizabeth's face when they start the conversation over is heartbreaking. Let's remember, she just lost her own father - this is basically the only parental figure she's got left. "He's coming for me...he promised."
--I completely forgot about Will dropping those bodies over the side. I'm trying to tell myself that they were leftover from...something...and he didn't actually kill them. Please let me keep my delusions. Okay, I actually had to rewind to check and they're definitely marines, so...I don't know? This is probably somewhere in my notes from 2007.
--Once again Jack sends Will to do his dirty work, but they still have time for an apparently sincere heart-to-heart about Will's girl troubles. A. He keeps doing this because he knows Will can handle himself and B. there's that closeness between all of them, even when they're at each other's throats, that is the reason I fell so hard for this fandom.
--A Moment With Tai Huang: he waits for Elizabeth's permission before leaving the brig.
--"Choosing a side." And so it begins. "James, come with me." PLEASE DO, PLEASE, YOU COULD ALL HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY TOGETHER! OT3OR4 4EVER! That kiss...I really might have to write Elizabeth and James have hot angry/sad makeup sex in the Dutchman's cabin.
--FUCK YOU BOOTSTRAP, YOU'RE THE WORST
--You know what though, that's a good death. It's a good death, and a good story, and it's given the proper gravity and weight. It just made me leave the theater to go cry in the bathroom the first time I saw it and seriously consider not returning.
--And it's time to go to Shipwreck Island/Cove/Town. I LOVE THIS PLACE. I love the way it looks and how it's built and the fact that it's a pirate refuge. I feel like if it had been around in CoBP days, 75% of Sparrington fics would have taken place here. Seeing it really makes me want to get back to "Other Side of the World," where I had a ton of fun figuring out exactly how it works on an everyday basis. I gave them an elected town council, and businesses run mostly by women, and a system of terrace farming, and a lookout post for all the little piratelings to have something to do. It's a pretty decent place to live, my Shipwreck.
--The power struggle between Barbossa and Calypso is interesting. He definitely should've been slapped down for throwing her in the brig, though...but I think he also does it to protect her.
--And here's one of my very favorite Orlando moments: when Jones comes into Beckett's cabin and Will is all "'sup" over his cup of tea. I like my pirates sassy.
--Jones' bitter ex speech over Calypso is kind of hilarious
--Here's where Will figures everything out! Good boy! So sexy and devious and morally ambiguous, and yet he still bobbles that thing on the globe.
--The Brethren Court is so much fun! Mistress Cheng is there! Also, the pieces of eight being "nine pieces of whatever we happened to have in our pockets at the time" <3
--Jack definitely flashes his piece of eight on purpose so Barbossa will snatch it...He wants Calypso released, but he wants Barbossa to do it? I think?
--See, SEE, "Shipwreck Cove is a well-supplied fortress." They have to be getting stuff from somewhere! Thus the farms and the goats.
--"This is madness." "This is politics." Great line.
--"Would you love me if I was anything but what I am?" PARALLEL THINGS ARE PARALELL. And it's Davy Jones who was the faithless one, really. Ooooh I can use this in "Keeping Faith"
--That shot of Barbossa with the balls hanging down - so simple, so sophomoric, so effective.
--Teague! Teague is here! With the Code! We waited so long for this moment, and they COMPLETELY delivered. "You're in my way, boy." Although I will be forever bothered by "the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew" instead of "Morgan and Roberts"
--Jack lighting on "Parlay with shared adversaries" - I don't think I've ever caught that before. Plays into why he gets Elizabeth elected so he can be involved in the negotiations with Jones and Beckett. This is where a ton of minute details factor into the plot.
--That's got to be a Stones song Keith is strumming, right? I can't place it but I'll IMDB after. Edit: IMDB failed me.
--"No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it." Then he looks to Jack, and Elizabeth is like WTF at their eyefucking. Will is agreeing to let Jack stab the heart/save Bootstrap, and Elizabeth cottons on when she realizes that what Jack wants is to get on the Dutchman. And then Will just curls his lip, just a fraction, at Elizabeth to confirm the plan, and she trades Will for Jack...but not before Barbossa snatches his piece of eight to free Calpyso, exactly as Jack planned. And Barbossa ALSO knows that Jack wants to become the Dutchman's captain, which is "I might be sayin' somethin' as well" (thought I don't think he knows about the Bootstrap part, only that Jack wants to be immortal). Jack wants Calpyso free because...reasons? As a distraction, maybe. I think I got it all. This scene is seriously impressive, and it works BECAUSE THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY. Oh I almost forgot Elizabeth getting to threaten Beckett, that was sweet.
--AHA I had totally forgotten that the full-size Jacks are in this scene when I wrote that earlier! See, this works so much better.
--Okay, maybe freeing Calpyso is the sort of last-ditch effort - which is why Elizabeth says they need to give Jack a chance first. But if he can't pull it off, they're thinking she'll take down the Dutchman and the armada.
--Ragetti being the one to say the incantation right is somehow...so right. And Will only gets her attention when he whispers her name, too.
--Giant Calypso looks stupid, it can't be denied. Though the idea of the rain of crabs is cool - very Ten Commandments.
--I love Elizabeth's "what shall we die for?" speech. She looks so badass, and sounds amazing, and cribs from Barbossa, and you can see Will falling in love with her all over again, and it's totally reference to Elizabeth I at Tilbury and HOIST THE GODDAMN COLORS.
--That scene of all the flags going up still sends chills down my spine.
--What's going on with Tai Huang? He's on the Empress, heeding his captain's call to hoist the colors. He's so good at his job that she trusts him to command the ship in battle.
--MAELSTROM. Barbossa goes full pirate at last and it's a beautiful thing. Also, this track on the soundtrack is amazeballs because it's got the sound effects of the wind and waves and the ship creaking.
--I got nothing here. The battle is really cool-looking.
--So "half [pin] barrel hinges" is Jack/Will's "okay", amiright?
--Jack coming full circle with Murtogg and Mullroy is a funny beat before shit gets real, but it makes me want that last Jack/Norrington scene SO BAD.
--Soooo let's not talk about how Jones tentacle-skull-fucks Mercer to death, shall we? Let's just move on.
--I remember seeing the fight between Jack and Jones on the spars, where they matched the clash of blades to the beat of the theme music, and going totally apeshit.
--Also in that trailer? "I don't think now's the best time!" Best. Wedding. Ever. What's more romantic than tandem-fighting marines and fishpeople on a ship in the middle of a maelstrom? NOTHING. Y'all know tandem fighting is my one true bulletproof kink.
--VOWS. TANDEM FIGHTING. GRABBING AND KISSING. THE MUSIC SWELLS. Ugh god I just love every fucking thing about this scene. I'm gonna watch it four times and then I'll be back.
--Fuck yeah Marty with the big fucking gun.
--Jones really needs to find a better place to hide that freaking key.
--Cotton securing the wheel! I'm sorry I'm just narrating things and swearing. I forgot how good this was.
--Jack's not the best swordsman, but he's always been a crack shot.
--Norrington's sword... Weatherby gave it to James, Will made it, and it kind of started this whole adventure, didn't it? It's the thing that kills Will in the end but at least there's a bit of James with them still. RIP MY HEART OUT SOME MORE, VERBINSKI.
--OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, BOOTSTRAP, GET IT TOGETHER!
--Jones twisting the sword, Jack's face, Elizabeth's voice, and then that shot of the three of them with Will's hand on the hilt and Jack's on his arm, JACK'S FACE AGAIN, "Part of the ship, part of the crew," Elizabeth screaming "I won't leave you," Bootstrap with the knife, Elizabeth turning her face into Jack's chest as they float away...this scene, you guys. This whole fucking scene.
--And then there's Captain Will and his sexy mortal wound scar! And Elizabeth's face! And Jack's face on "Full canvas!" And the Pearl and the Dutchman taking the Endeavour down! And Groves leaping to safety and living a long, happy, slutbunny life because that part of "On Stranger Tides" never happens!
--Let's not forget that Tai Huang is still on the Empress, screaming his fool head off in victory.
--The rest of the pirates are awfully smug for not actually doing anything at all. Just saying.
--That shot of Will on the Dutchman in sunlight is so gorgeous, it looks like a painting. You know what doesn't look like a painting? BOOTSTRAP AND HIS STUPID HAIR.
--"Depends on the one day." That's my ship <3
--I always find Barbossa saying "Mrs. Turner" to be strangely affecting, and Pintel saying "Goodbye, poppet," and Ragetti tugging his forelock. They've come a long way from kidnapping her in the dead of night!
--That last exchange between Elizabeth and Jack is perfect. Peas in a pod. I do love those two characters together (I just don't want to see them bone without Will. Or Anamaria. Or James. I could go on).
--So basically DMC and AWE could together be subtitled "How Elizabeth Swann Finally Gets Laid." And oh, it was so worth it. DAT BOOT.
--Time to sob (while appreciating once again how beautifully this is shot).
--The Will/Elizabeth love theme has always been melancholy. Now we know why. OH IT HURTS SO GOOD. You might be surprised that I'm so fond of this storyline, diehard Will/Elizabeth canon shipper than I am. But you see, I also enjoy a well-done tragic love story. I didn't see "Titanic" five times in the theater when I was twelve for nothing, y'know.
--Somebody help me out here - IS that in fact Norrington's sword thrust into the sand? It doesn't appear to have the dangly cord thing, but maybe he cut that off. I'm just gonna tell myself it is. It makes me feel better okay.
--Also, she made him that shell necklace, y/y?
--"But wait, Dala!" you may be asking. "You've forgotten the most important thing in the movie! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TAI HUANG?" Why, sailing around the edge of the island to pick up his captain, of course.
--Somehow the whole Scarlett/Giselle bit is redeemed for me by "It is pronounced 'egregious.'" Also the fact that they slap him again.
--And Jack ends the trilogy just where he started it, on a leaky dinghy, setting out on a quest. But this time the rum is not gone!
--The coda scene <3
--Re: deleted scenes: only two? That's why I don't remember watching them, then. What gives? CoBP had great deleted scenes, DMC had none, and this has a measly two. At least it was fun seeing the Pearl's great cabin again.
I need to reread some Cordingly, I'm thinking, in addition to fic. Maybe go up to Baltimore and hang out on the Constellation; I haven't seen her for a few years. At least I have a big bottle of Jamaican rum.
--THIS OPENING IS DARK AS FUCK. Seriously, how many people get hanged (ON CAMERA!) in two minutes? 40? 50? And you see their belongings collected and their bodies dragged off in carts (which is maybe an intentional Holocaust reference?) Damn, Disney. I think I remember people gasping in the theater.
--"Hoist the Colors" is so freaking good. I still get it stuck in my head from time to time. It really does sound like a traditional tune, which is impressive.
--Groves. Oh baby, what have you gotten yourself into? Aside from a tacky uniform, of course.
--We're four minutes in and I had to pause for a moment. This movie is really not fucking around.
--So let me warn you right now that I'm gonna be talking about Tai Huang a lot, because he's one of my favorite minor characters in anything ever. He is such a tiny but clever bit of writing that I'm pretty sure 95% of the audience doesn't even notice. When we first met him, he's answering ELizabeth's pirate birdcall and also threatening her. We'll check back in with him in a little while.
--The Singapore set is an interesting contrast to the saturated colors of the bright Caribbean sunshine and blue waters we've grown accustomed to - all shadows and reds and greens.
--Elizabeth's weapons inventory amuses me to no end, especially Keira's expressions through the whole thing and the little "So?" shrug she does at the end. She would have fit right in the silent film era.
--Chow Yun-Fat is nicely menacing. He gets extra credit for tying Will up and soaking him thoroughly. I still want to know what Jack did to piss him off, and also the backstory with the badass steam girls.
--The Chinese junk is so pretty! That sail!
--Do you think Beckett plays with his toy ships and toy soldiers in the bath?
--James getting his sword back, oh my heart. And Weatherby signing execution orders :( That would actually be a good fic, what's going on in Port Royal while our antiheroes are gallivanting around the seas.
--Ahaha I forgot about Pintel stealing Gibbs' storytelling thunder.
--I know he's a bad guy but Davy Jones' sad face is so effective! I love that his display of emotion is how he knows the chest is near.
--Murtogg and Mullroy! Hello, boys.
--Ohhhh the junk sailing through the stars is SO BEAUTIFUL. The perfect setting for a little Will/Elizabeth angst. You know, for the first time I'm realizing that after DMC I pretty much wrote nothing but Will and Elizabeth. Sometimes with Jack in tow, true, but still focused on them. I just really loved their storyline. In part because the actors nailed it; in part because it feels true. What happens to the prince and the princess after the storybook ending? They get their wires crossed and they don't tell each other things and other shit interferes and they're still trying to figure out who they are as people. And if they're strong enough, they face it together in the end. The conflict feels organic to their characters, not trumped-up drama (hi, meet Will "Daddy Issues" Turner and Elizabeth "The Lady or the Pirate" Swann). And so the resolution feels earned, including its touch of tragedy. That's why I'm leery of them appearing in the new film; as much as I adore the characters, I'm satisfied with their story being closed.
--Another point that is related but doesn't belong in that point up above: ship what you ship, but it seems clear to me that this is the story the writers always wanted to tell, and I give them credit for doing so. End soapbox.
--Calypso warning Will about the price that must be paid...so much foreshadowing.
--I love the Multiple Jacks sequence. LOVE IT. THe visuals are incredible, and it's so weird and unsettling and surreal and beautifully overlit. I mean, wtf goat. One minute it's comical and the next minute it's genuinely scary (Jack stabbing himself). It's also fun seing Johnny's costume in so many permutations. AND THE TATTOOS! What is that written all over his back? AND THEN THE ROCK CRABS! The rock crabs are everything.
--Will's the one who figures out Jack thinks he's hallucinating them. I'm just saying. There's room for three peas in that pod, darling.
--Oh, it's a treat to watch Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush act together. They even pull off that cheap dick joke - TWICE.
--A note on costuming yet again: love Will in the dark red shirt and black vest - dark like his story has gotten amd will get; and Elizabeth in her Chinese outfit that looks like armor. Perfect. Did he have the earring last movie? I can't remember.
--It is SO HOT when he pushes her up against the mast, unf. And I love this bit - it would actually be easier for him if she'd loved Jack. It's a lot harder that she did something so life-altering as betray a friend and not tell him.
--Calypso's grief over the lost souls is nicely done, and they're a haunting sight. The little girls in the boat, ouch.
--Weatherby noooooo. And here we check off an important item on the Classic Hero myth for our heroine. And Jack and Will both reaching out to her with compassion even with all the shit that's gone down (though Jack won't follow her aft, you'll notice). "I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. I'll give your love to your mother, shall I?" auuuuuuggggghhh he was such a good dad
--That being said, Calypso creeping into frame behind Will when Weatherby talks about stabbing the heart? Cracked my shit up. You may be a goddess, girl, but subtlty is not your strong suit.
--I would have preferred they make the angel/devil Jacks full-size and have them be kind of filmy, personally.
--The "Up Is Down" theme is another of my favorites. It's fun to whistle.
--Elizabeth failing to catch hold of Will when they flip - more foreshadowing. This sequence must've been a bitch to film.
--Gunfight at the Black Pearl Corral: Barbossa first draws on Jack, then Will and Elizabeth both draw on Barbossa; Jack draws on Will, who retaliates, and then on Elizabeth who does so looking disgusted; Gibbs is on WIll and Barbossa; and then I lose track. Oh, and Jack the Monkey draws on Cotton's parrot, the bastard.
--The dead kraken is a weird, sad sight. It was only acting according to its nature, after all. I liked that they did that with it. It's a big part of why I wrote "Creature Comforts," which I think was my last completed canon-compliant fic, actually (I wrote a Sparrington after that but it's post-CoBP).
--Barbossa calling Jack "lad" does interesting things to my brain. Up until this movie, I viewed Barbossa to be quite menacing and scary, and wrote him more hardcore villainish than even CoBP. I mean, he repeatedly threatens Elizabeth with rape and seems quite willing to carry it out when the curse is lifted - he's a scary motherfucker. But of course to use him in this capacity they had to soften him a little, and I think they did it well - presenting him as brethren to Jack (despite the betrayal, which reasoning I guess is just...pirate? That covers a multitude of sins. If we can forgive Elizabeth, we can forgive Hector) and a bit of a mentor to baby pirates Elizabeth and Will. There's also the fact that nobody spouts piratey dialogue better than Geoffrey Rush. He really seems to relish it, bless him.
--Jack's struggle with his mortality is so well-played, when Johnny gets to do those quieter moments - it's always there behind his eyes.
--Tai Huang update: turns out he's completely loyal to Sao Feng. An admirable quality in a second, to be sure.
--It's kinda satisfying watching Jack get popped in the nose, ngl. I love him but he so often deserves it.
--Ohhh, the Beckett and Jack scene. So much left unsaid. The thing about the slave ship is quasi-canon, right? Wasn't it in one of the junior novelizations? It's part of MY canon, anyway. The fact that killing Jack is the thing that Beckett wants most...
--I wish we could've had Norrington onscreen while the Pearl, Empress and whatwasBeckett'sshipnamed(it's not the Dauntless, is it?) are all gathered. He gets his last scene with Elizabeth, but not Will or Jack.
--I love that little look Elizabeth gives Sao Feng when he side-eyes her. And also Elizabeth going fuck you guys, I'll go under my own bloody power. And also just Elizabeth in general.
--Oh it's the Endeavour, that's right. Bye bye, mainmast. And as ever, Groves <3 Jack Sparrow.
--I LOVE ELIZABETH'S EMPRESS DRESS OMG. One day, I will cosplay this.
--Elizabeth gets to be a captain yaaaaay. IT'S ALL HAPPENING. Keira's line reading of "He made me captain" is one of my favorites in the entire trilogy.
--Tai Huang check-in: he is deeply saddened by Sao Feng's death and mistrustful of Elizabeth. "You are not my captain." Thus he is perfectly happy to turn her in to Jones.
--What was that I was saying about wishing for a Norrington appearance? I take it back. This hurts. Even after all this time, it hurts. The look on his face when he sees her, and the way he hugs her, and his believing that Beckett really sent Weatherby off to the farm England...Jack Dav's sad face HURTS my HEART. At least he gets to command Jones with that sexy commodore voice
--"The captain shall have my quarters." WHY DIDN'T I WRITE THIS INTERLUDE
--Tai Huang update: I know it's difficult to turn your eyes away from Jack Dav's beautiful visage, but watch Tai Huang as she refuses Norrington's courtesies and says she'd rather remain with her crew (who just sold her out). His face is all dawning respect. From this point on, he is 100% Elizabeth's man. I LOVE THAT. They didn't have to do that! It doesn't impact the plot! It's just good writing!
--Aw man, Bootstrap's back. Time to fuck up some more shit.
--But here's where Elizabeth gets Will's motivation, which I love. Bootstrap's so sad and pathetic (even though I WOULDN'T PICK YOU EITHER. Why didn't you tell WIll about that whole captain thing earlier, huh?)
--Elizabeth's face when they start the conversation over is heartbreaking. Let's remember, she just lost her own father - this is basically the only parental figure she's got left. "He's coming for me...he promised."
--I completely forgot about Will dropping those bodies over the side. I'm trying to tell myself that they were leftover from...something...and he didn't actually kill them. Please let me keep my delusions. Okay, I actually had to rewind to check and they're definitely marines, so...I don't know? This is probably somewhere in my notes from 2007.
--Once again Jack sends Will to do his dirty work, but they still have time for an apparently sincere heart-to-heart about Will's girl troubles. A. He keeps doing this because he knows Will can handle himself and B. there's that closeness between all of them, even when they're at each other's throats, that is the reason I fell so hard for this fandom.
--A Moment With Tai Huang: he waits for Elizabeth's permission before leaving the brig.
--"Choosing a side." And so it begins. "James, come with me." PLEASE DO, PLEASE, YOU COULD ALL HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY TOGETHER! OT3OR4 4EVER! That kiss...I really might have to write Elizabeth and James have hot angry/sad makeup sex in the Dutchman's cabin.
--FUCK YOU BOOTSTRAP, YOU'RE THE WORST
--You know what though, that's a good death. It's a good death, and a good story, and it's given the proper gravity and weight. It just made me leave the theater to go cry in the bathroom the first time I saw it and seriously consider not returning.
--And it's time to go to Shipwreck Island/Cove/Town. I LOVE THIS PLACE. I love the way it looks and how it's built and the fact that it's a pirate refuge. I feel like if it had been around in CoBP days, 75% of Sparrington fics would have taken place here. Seeing it really makes me want to get back to "Other Side of the World," where I had a ton of fun figuring out exactly how it works on an everyday basis. I gave them an elected town council, and businesses run mostly by women, and a system of terrace farming, and a lookout post for all the little piratelings to have something to do. It's a pretty decent place to live, my Shipwreck.
--The power struggle between Barbossa and Calypso is interesting. He definitely should've been slapped down for throwing her in the brig, though...but I think he also does it to protect her.
--And here's one of my very favorite Orlando moments: when Jones comes into Beckett's cabin and Will is all "'sup" over his cup of tea. I like my pirates sassy.
--Jones' bitter ex speech over Calypso is kind of hilarious
--Here's where Will figures everything out! Good boy! So sexy and devious and morally ambiguous, and yet he still bobbles that thing on the globe.
--The Brethren Court is so much fun! Mistress Cheng is there! Also, the pieces of eight being "nine pieces of whatever we happened to have in our pockets at the time" <3
--Jack definitely flashes his piece of eight on purpose so Barbossa will snatch it...He wants Calypso released, but he wants Barbossa to do it? I think?
--See, SEE, "Shipwreck Cove is a well-supplied fortress." They have to be getting stuff from somewhere! Thus the farms and the goats.
--"This is madness." "This is politics." Great line.
--"Would you love me if I was anything but what I am?" PARALLEL THINGS ARE PARALELL. And it's Davy Jones who was the faithless one, really. Ooooh I can use this in "Keeping Faith"
--That shot of Barbossa with the balls hanging down - so simple, so sophomoric, so effective.
--Teague! Teague is here! With the Code! We waited so long for this moment, and they COMPLETELY delivered. "You're in my way, boy." Although I will be forever bothered by "the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew" instead of "Morgan and Roberts"
--Jack lighting on "Parlay with shared adversaries" - I don't think I've ever caught that before. Plays into why he gets Elizabeth elected so he can be involved in the negotiations with Jones and Beckett. This is where a ton of minute details factor into the plot.
--That's got to be a Stones song Keith is strumming, right? I can't place it but I'll IMDB after. Edit: IMDB failed me.
--"No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it." Then he looks to Jack, and Elizabeth is like WTF at their eyefucking. Will is agreeing to let Jack stab the heart/save Bootstrap, and Elizabeth cottons on when she realizes that what Jack wants is to get on the Dutchman. And then Will just curls his lip, just a fraction, at Elizabeth to confirm the plan, and she trades Will for Jack...but not before Barbossa snatches his piece of eight to free Calpyso, exactly as Jack planned. And Barbossa ALSO knows that Jack wants to become the Dutchman's captain, which is "I might be sayin' somethin' as well" (thought I don't think he knows about the Bootstrap part, only that Jack wants to be immortal). Jack wants Calpyso free because...reasons? As a distraction, maybe. I think I got it all. This scene is seriously impressive, and it works BECAUSE THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER OKAY. Oh I almost forgot Elizabeth getting to threaten Beckett, that was sweet.
--AHA I had totally forgotten that the full-size Jacks are in this scene when I wrote that earlier! See, this works so much better.
--Okay, maybe freeing Calpyso is the sort of last-ditch effort - which is why Elizabeth says they need to give Jack a chance first. But if he can't pull it off, they're thinking she'll take down the Dutchman and the armada.
--Ragetti being the one to say the incantation right is somehow...so right. And Will only gets her attention when he whispers her name, too.
--Giant Calypso looks stupid, it can't be denied. Though the idea of the rain of crabs is cool - very Ten Commandments.
--I love Elizabeth's "what shall we die for?" speech. She looks so badass, and sounds amazing, and cribs from Barbossa, and you can see Will falling in love with her all over again, and it's totally reference to Elizabeth I at Tilbury and HOIST THE GODDAMN COLORS.
--That scene of all the flags going up still sends chills down my spine.
--What's going on with Tai Huang? He's on the Empress, heeding his captain's call to hoist the colors. He's so good at his job that she trusts him to command the ship in battle.
--MAELSTROM. Barbossa goes full pirate at last and it's a beautiful thing. Also, this track on the soundtrack is amazeballs because it's got the sound effects of the wind and waves and the ship creaking.
--I got nothing here. The battle is really cool-looking.
--So "half [pin] barrel hinges" is Jack/Will's "okay", amiright?
--Jack coming full circle with Murtogg and Mullroy is a funny beat before shit gets real, but it makes me want that last Jack/Norrington scene SO BAD.
--Soooo let's not talk about how Jones tentacle-skull-fucks Mercer to death, shall we? Let's just move on.
--I remember seeing the fight between Jack and Jones on the spars, where they matched the clash of blades to the beat of the theme music, and going totally apeshit.
--Also in that trailer? "I don't think now's the best time!" Best. Wedding. Ever. What's more romantic than tandem-fighting marines and fishpeople on a ship in the middle of a maelstrom? NOTHING. Y'all know tandem fighting is my one true bulletproof kink.
--VOWS. TANDEM FIGHTING. GRABBING AND KISSING. THE MUSIC SWELLS. Ugh god I just love every fucking thing about this scene. I'm gonna watch it four times and then I'll be back.
--Fuck yeah Marty with the big fucking gun.
--Jones really needs to find a better place to hide that freaking key.
--Cotton securing the wheel! I'm sorry I'm just narrating things and swearing. I forgot how good this was.
--Jack's not the best swordsman, but he's always been a crack shot.
--Norrington's sword... Weatherby gave it to James, Will made it, and it kind of started this whole adventure, didn't it? It's the thing that kills Will in the end but at least there's a bit of James with them still. RIP MY HEART OUT SOME MORE, VERBINSKI.
--OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, BOOTSTRAP, GET IT TOGETHER!
--Jones twisting the sword, Jack's face, Elizabeth's voice, and then that shot of the three of them with Will's hand on the hilt and Jack's on his arm, JACK'S FACE AGAIN, "Part of the ship, part of the crew," Elizabeth screaming "I won't leave you," Bootstrap with the knife, Elizabeth turning her face into Jack's chest as they float away...this scene, you guys. This whole fucking scene.
--And then there's Captain Will and his sexy mortal wound scar! And Elizabeth's face! And Jack's face on "Full canvas!" And the Pearl and the Dutchman taking the Endeavour down! And Groves leaping to safety and living a long, happy, slutbunny life because that part of "On Stranger Tides" never happens!
--Let's not forget that Tai Huang is still on the Empress, screaming his fool head off in victory.
--The rest of the pirates are awfully smug for not actually doing anything at all. Just saying.
--That shot of Will on the Dutchman in sunlight is so gorgeous, it looks like a painting. You know what doesn't look like a painting? BOOTSTRAP AND HIS STUPID HAIR.
--"Depends on the one day." That's my ship <3
--I always find Barbossa saying "Mrs. Turner" to be strangely affecting, and Pintel saying "Goodbye, poppet," and Ragetti tugging his forelock. They've come a long way from kidnapping her in the dead of night!
--That last exchange between Elizabeth and Jack is perfect. Peas in a pod. I do love those two characters together (I just don't want to see them bone without Will. Or Anamaria. Or James. I could go on).
--So basically DMC and AWE could together be subtitled "How Elizabeth Swann Finally Gets Laid." And oh, it was so worth it. DAT BOOT.
--Time to sob (while appreciating once again how beautifully this is shot).
--The Will/Elizabeth love theme has always been melancholy. Now we know why. OH IT HURTS SO GOOD. You might be surprised that I'm so fond of this storyline, diehard Will/Elizabeth canon shipper than I am. But you see, I also enjoy a well-done tragic love story. I didn't see "Titanic" five times in the theater when I was twelve for nothing, y'know.
--Somebody help me out here - IS that in fact Norrington's sword thrust into the sand? It doesn't appear to have the dangly cord thing, but maybe he cut that off. I'm just gonna tell myself it is. It makes me feel better okay.
--Also, she made him that shell necklace, y/y?
--"But wait, Dala!" you may be asking. "You've forgotten the most important thing in the movie! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TAI HUANG?" Why, sailing around the edge of the island to pick up his captain, of course.
--Somehow the whole Scarlett/Giselle bit is redeemed for me by "It is pronounced 'egregious.'" Also the fact that they slap him again.
--And Jack ends the trilogy just where he started it, on a leaky dinghy, setting out on a quest. But this time the rum is not gone!
--The coda scene <3
--Re: deleted scenes: only two? That's why I don't remember watching them, then. What gives? CoBP had great deleted scenes, DMC had none, and this has a measly two. At least it was fun seeing the Pearl's great cabin again.
I need to reread some Cordingly, I'm thinking, in addition to fic. Maybe go up to Baltimore and hang out on the Constellation; I haven't seen her for a few years. At least I have a big bottle of Jamaican rum.