It's a valid concern, the "legitimate" issue, as there are a lot of idiots out there saying they're doing NLP.
I've studied with Richard Bandler and John LaValle. Certainly the time in my life when I was actively using NLP was my most healthy and successful. I have been thinking I should dust off my NLP stuff and have at it again. The seminars are pricey, but so worth it for changing behavior and learning effective communication.
For all his infomercial smarmyness, Tony Robbins' book, "Unlimited Power," is a really good intro text for NLP.
As far as therapeutic goes, most NLP folks are going to call themselves "coaches" rather than "therapists," because they can't get licensed as therapists and they won't see what they do as therapy. But if it's goals you're after, it might be something you'd find helpful.
I'm sorry you've had so many bad experiences with therapists. This makes me a little more grateful for mine (I have no idea how I ended up so lucky). She talks to me like a friend, and in this lonely city where I didn't really have any friends I could go to and talk to about the sorts of things I talk to her about, that's exactly what I needed. She relates her own experiences and everything. And she never ends a session when the hour is up. I think the shortest amount of time I've spent with her was two hours, but she still only charges me for an hour. It would be nice if there were more therapists like her.
Yep, I am envious of the situation you describe. The friends I've had who have found good therapists never let 'em go. There aren't many who have found good ones, though.
She's so good that I think if I ended up moving countries, I'd still talk to her if I needed to. We're even friends on Facebook XD Honestly, I have no idea how I got so lucky on my first try looking for someone here.
I do hope you can find what you need to help you, though, even if it isn't in the form of a therapist.
Ugh, there really are some terrible therapists out there. One of the first things I have done in the past when interviewing therapists (the first two sessions I always consider the "trial period") is to ask what kinds of metrics they use for measuring progress. I also tend to go with people who give me 'homework' of a sort - specific things to practice or activities to do. I like plans, and I like knowing that there's a goal and I'm working toward it. It's frustrating to just go and talk and talk and talk. You can end up feeling more stuck that way than when you went in. I hope you do manage to find someone good. It's a slog, but it really can be great.
the same passive-involvement walking-the-client-in-circles bullshit This is such a perfect description of that kind of therapeutic technique.
I'd say that it gives therapist a bad name, but I honestly think that's how most of them are trained: Do NOT offer opinions or direct the patient, but instead let the patient find his/her own truth.
Well, hey, I do that for free when friends are having trouble. And I think I'm even a little more helpful, because I try to get them to examine their feelings/thoughts against or outside of their own context.
There's an art to trying not to bend the patient toward your will/expectations/viewpoint, but helping the patient find happiness/peace within their own context. Unfortunately, when not done artistically, you wind up with "Why don't you self-examine again? And again? And what did you think of your prior self-examination?" That's just maddening
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If you're looking for less talk/more results, have you ever looked into NLP?
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I've studied with Richard Bandler and John LaValle. Certainly the time in my life when I was actively using NLP was my most healthy and successful. I have been thinking I should dust off my NLP stuff and have at it again. The seminars are pricey, but so worth it for changing behavior and learning effective communication.
For all his infomercial smarmyness, Tony Robbins' book, "Unlimited Power," is a really good intro text for NLP.
As far as therapeutic goes, most NLP folks are going to call themselves "coaches" rather than "therapists," because they can't get licensed as therapists and they won't see what they do as therapy. But if it's goals you're after, it might be something you'd find helpful.
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I do hope you can find what you need to help you, though, even if it isn't in the form of a therapist.
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This is such a perfect description of that kind of therapeutic technique.
I'd say that it gives therapist a bad name, but I honestly think that's how most of them are trained: Do NOT offer opinions or direct the patient, but instead let the patient find his/her own truth.
Well, hey, I do that for free when friends are having trouble. And I think I'm even a little more helpful, because I try to get them to examine their feelings/thoughts against or outside of their own context.
There's an art to trying not to bend the patient toward your will/expectations/viewpoint, but helping the patient find happiness/peace within their own context. Unfortunately, when not done artistically, you wind up with "Why don't you self-examine again? And again? And what did you think of your prior self-examination?" That's just maddening ( ... )
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