Half Unicorn, Half Hippie
I dedicate this piece to my mother.
And also all the wackjobs in the Pagan community. ilu.
"Haru," my mother crooned from the living room, "Can you come in here for a minute, dear?" I paused on my search for a snack. It was never a good sign when she sounded like that. I pushed through the beaded curtain, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light. Mom was sitting happily amongst her tea and Nag Champa, glasses slipping down her nose.
"Did you need something?"
She was looking a little smug- this couldn't be going anywhere good. "Sit down, honey." I planted myself on the giant pillow opposite her from the coffee table. I really wish my mother believed in couches. Really. She took a sip of tea before putting away her tarot cards in their small velvet bag. "Have you tried the chai from World Market? It's really good."
"Didn't that stuff cost eight bucks or something?" She shrugged. Oh, how I loved my mother.
"So, Haru, after consulting various psychic mediums I have reached a conclusion." She straightened up, heavy-lidded eyes smiling at me capriciously. "It has come to my attention that you are getting on in years, reaching the golden era of young-adulthood. Now, I know that you attend public school now and you've always been open to talk to your father and I about anything, so I don't really feel the need to go into the details, but as someone who was once a teenager myself," I started tuning her out at that point, though despite my scandalized look she carried on. So, nodding at appropriate times and reading the titles of the books behind her, I pretended to be listening as she continued. "And you know, Haru, as long as find a nice girl- or boy, even, your father and I have both discussed it and we want you to know that as long as you're happy, we're happy-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa- Mom, I'm not gay." She blinked at me.
"Well, that's fine, dear, but I know that when I was your age I did some experimentation-"
"Mom!"
"And that it's perfectly natural. In fact most teens try it at least once during high school." I stood up.
"I- uh, have to go and do homework, alright?" She rolled her eyes and waved at me off, grinning behind her mug as she finished her tea.
Safe in my boring, not-hippie, not-gay room, I sat down on my bed.
It went without saying, I decided, that was the most awkward five minutes of my entire life.
And also all the wackjobs in the Pagan community. ilu.
"Haru," my mother crooned from the living room, "Can you come in here for a minute, dear?" I paused on my search for a snack. It was never a good sign when she sounded like that. I pushed through the beaded curtain, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light. Mom was sitting happily amongst her tea and Nag Champa, glasses slipping down her nose.
"Did you need something?"
She was looking a little smug- this couldn't be going anywhere good. "Sit down, honey." I planted myself on the giant pillow opposite her from the coffee table. I really wish my mother believed in couches. Really. She took a sip of tea before putting away her tarot cards in their small velvet bag. "Have you tried the chai from World Market? It's really good."
"Didn't that stuff cost eight bucks or something?" She shrugged. Oh, how I loved my mother.
"So, Haru, after consulting various psychic mediums I have reached a conclusion." She straightened up, heavy-lidded eyes smiling at me capriciously. "It has come to my attention that you are getting on in years, reaching the golden era of young-adulthood. Now, I know that you attend public school now and you've always been open to talk to your father and I about anything, so I don't really feel the need to go into the details, but as someone who was once a teenager myself," I started tuning her out at that point, though despite my scandalized look she carried on. So, nodding at appropriate times and reading the titles of the books behind her, I pretended to be listening as she continued. "And you know, Haru, as long as find a nice girl- or boy, even, your father and I have both discussed it and we want you to know that as long as you're happy, we're happy-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa- Mom, I'm not gay." She blinked at me.
"Well, that's fine, dear, but I know that when I was your age I did some experimentation-"
"Mom!"
"And that it's perfectly natural. In fact most teens try it at least once during high school." I stood up.
"I- uh, have to go and do homework, alright?" She rolled her eyes and waved at me off, grinning behind her mug as she finished her tea.
Safe in my boring, not-hippie, not-gay room, I sat down on my bed.
It went without saying, I decided, that was the most awkward five minutes of my entire life.