I think I may keep the personally (unless you provide me with more information as to why it should leave :P) though I did rewrite that sentence. With a comma! Oooh, comma.
Courtesy of cybermathwitch, actually: It's certainly better than nothing, though.
"Personally" just seems a bit redundant. Saying "I need a valet" provides no less information. If you want to keep it for emphasis, move it to the beginning of the sentence and stick *gasp* a comma after it.
Comments 6
You're jobless. I personally need a valet;
Take out the word "personally."
and:
It's better than nothing though.
Take out the word "though."
This:
The job's yours, complete with room and board, low-impact labor, good pay, holidays off and a vague and unspecific insurance plan.
Really cracked me up. There's some funny stuff in here and I like the way you set up what mayhem is to most certainly follow.
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Courtesy of cybermathwitch, actually: It's certainly better than nothing, though.
Very fancy, I know.
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"Personally" just seems a bit redundant. Saying "I need a valet" provides no less information. If you want to keep it for emphasis, move it to the beginning of the sentence and stick *gasp* a comma after it.
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>.>
Sorry for kind of nagging you into reading it.
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