alright guys, long island is in trouble. actually we have been for many years. see, we are one of the few places left that doesn't use nuclear power, mainly because we'd have no escape if anything ever went wrong. we are heading towards a great disaster as the electrical demand keeps growing ( Read more... )

hey guys, if anyone out there is looking to make a little extra money im having a thing at my house wensday night. space is limited so let me know if you want to come and find out what has your favorite beach bum motivated.

i remember when i was young there were three people i wanted to meet so badly. the first was mark messier. to me he was one of the best hockey players ever. he was a true leader and champion ( Read more... )

ok, so all you fuckers who laughed at me when i told you i plan on doing nothing for the rest of my life,well guess what... i found a job that basically allows me to just that. screw you guys, im retiring after college!

i used brandons fake employee's discount card at cold stone tonight. he would have used it himself but he asked to sample an ice cream, which a real coldstone employee would never do. we get up to the register and i tell the girl i work at the melville store. she takes it, looks at it, hands it back, then asks me "do you know how to put this in the ( Read more... )

my biggest first day of class pet peeve always used to be when the teacher started lecture with "what is _______." (the blank being the subject). well yesterday i walked into my first day anthropology found myself wandering 'what the hell is anthropology?' the professor walks in writes her name down blah blah blah, "alright what the hell is this ( Read more... )

in the mists of my last few days of vacation i find my self capitolizing on diminishing opportunities to relax and do absolutely nothing. over the course of said relaxing i fall into a day dream, or more acurately a day "mare." for i see my self in the future...middle aged, fat, and balding. now, what you may be thinking is that i am discribing ( Read more... )

day 1 ( Read more... )

im finally going out west. finally.

why are wars faught? why do people feel the need to kill, take over, and opress others? i'll tell you why...penis envy. think about it. japs bomb pearl harbor; penis envy. southerners force black people into slavery; penis envy. trojan wars; penis envy. think of any event in history and i'll explain how its penis envy... except the french ( Read more... )