(no subject)
Who: Fuji and Taka-san
What: Forced into talking to Fuji, Taka gets a nice surprise
When: After all of the logs~
Where: Outside Fuji's bedroom door, and in the music room
Warnings: PG-13 for...Kissing! Lucky Taka-san. And it's a lil long~ But cute!
Sighing silently, Taka looked at the many-framed pictures on his wall. His eyes caught one in particular-the one of the Fuji family celebrating New Years at Kawamura Sushi; he remembered that Fuji didn’t have a single picture of his family. He wasn’t sure if Yuuta did either, now that he thought about it. Maybe he should just…slip it under the door? Nodding silently to himself, he stood, and took the frame carefully from the wall and opened it up. Digging around for a big Manila Envelope, he slid the 8x10 into the yellow colored envelope, and was out the door.
It took him a couple minutes to find Fuji’s room, but as soon as he did, he bent down, and ever so carefully started to slide the thin package under the doorframe. After all…he didn’t want to meet with the other, after he was still so raw.
Fuji rubbed wearily at his hair, feeling drained and slightly on edge after his conversation with Ryoga. It was strange, but the interaction he'd had over the last few days with Niou, Saeki and the older Echizen brother had somehow shaken his perspective on himself, and left him feeling for the first time ever like his personality left much to be desired. Rounding the corner, intent on going to his room and having a rest for a while, he almost didn't see the other figure in the hallway, bending at his door. He looked up, puzzled, and then with a jolt realized whom it was. He took in the scene, the envelope and Taka and then froze for a second, wondering what was going on. Taka had, after all been avoiding him. He started towards the other and then hesitated again, uncertain what to say, and debating turning to duck back around the corner silently. But by then it was already too late.
After the envelope was safely on the other side of the door, Taka couldn’t help but give a little smile at the thought of Fuji being happy when he saw the picture. At least…he hoped the other would be happy to see a picture of all five of them together. Righting himself, he turned around to head in the direction he came from, when his brown eyes widened. Fuji was standing right there, looking at him…
Fuji stood there; looking at Taka, face automatically fixing into his usual smile. He'd been intending to find the other, and soon, but he hadn't quite banked on it being this sudden. "Hello," he said, quietly, unable to bear the silence any longer. He glanced at the bottom of the door where he could still see the corner of the envelope poking out, curious. "What were you doing?"
Taka swallowed hard, and couldn’t seem to meet the other’s eyes. “Hello…” He answered back, before looking toward the door. “I…the picture of your family.” He trailed off lamely. He cursed that there wasn’t enough space to scoot around the other and run back to his room to hide, but instead, had to wait for Fuji to move one way or another.
Fuji tilted his head, puzzled for a moment and then in a flash recalled Taka talking about photographs before. He moved forward cautiously and stooped to retrieve the envelope, opening it and sliding the image out with care. He smiled a little to see it, brushing his fingertips over the surface. "Is it really ok to take it?" he asked, voice softer than before.
Maybe Fuji forgot about the picture. He didn’t know why the idea stung a little-maybe because it was a private conversation between them that he did not remember. But than, Fuji seemed to remember, and he had to shift so Fuji could pick up the picture. He smiled a little-still looking toward the ground. “Of course. It’s not like I need the picture, when you don’t have one.”
"That's very generous of you, even so," said Fuji, glancing at Taka from the corner of his eye and then tucking the photograph back into the envelope with the utmost care. "How are you, by the way? I haven't- I haven't seen you about in some time now." He swallowed; trying to pull his emotions back to their normal state, suddenly cross with himself for acting so uncharacteristically. The cause, however, was obvious to him. For one reason or another, between them his friends had finally managed to put a crack in his mask...
“It’s nothing.” He insisted, and nodded at the other as he shifted his feet. Now, would be a good time to leave, before it got awkward-too late, it seemed. He shrugged. “I’ve been alright. Very…homesick. And you? Glad to see Yuuta-kun?” He asked politely.
Fuji nodded, letting the subject of the photograph drop for a moment, noting Taka's apprehensiveness. "Yes, it's been nice to see him again," he answered and then, folding his arms around the envelope added in a quieter voice, "Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about..."
Smiling, he took a quick glance at Fuji-still as breathtaking as ever, it seemed. “I’m glad. I’m sorry that he ended up here…but at least you two can go through this ordeal together.” He mumbled softly, before blinking. Fuji wanted to talk to him about something…? Maybe he wanted some Wasabi Sushi…”Alright than…” He guessed it would be rude to deny the smaller boy the chance to talk, even if he didn’t want to.
Fuji thought for a moment, trying to course his thoughts into some sort of order. This wasn't really the sort of conversation he really wanted to have in the middle of the hall. And his room was far too intimate in contrast…"Not here," he decided, "Do you mind if we go into the music room? It's just over there..."
With a heavy heart, Taka nodded politely, and turned around before starting off toward the music room. He really wasn’t in the mood-still. He just couldn’t seem to shake off this depressive cloud that had settled upon his head after his confession and Fuji’s rejection.
Fuji padded along silently behind the other, hoping he hadn't just made a huge mistake in initiating this talk, and willing himself firmly not to mess things up. He closed the door to the little piano room behind them and exhaled slowly, perching on one of the tables. "Saa..." he said, quirking a slightly nervous sort of smile, "this is a little awkward isn't it?"
Moving into the room, Taka sat down on a chair by the wall, and looked over at the other boy. He nodded. “I bit, I guess…” He admitted softly to the other. He was worried though-what did Fuji want to talk to him about?
Fuji looked away, examining the shelf next to him and the scores on it. "I'm not really sure how to start..." he began slowly, "I suppose I should really start off by apologizing for my recent behavior," he glanced at Taka, unnerved by the other's uncharacteristic quietness. "I've not really been very fair to you..."
Chocolate brown eyes widened at Fuji’s words, and he shook his head. He felt horribly guilty now, for letting his depressive mood get the best of him-here it was hurting Fuji to think that he caused it. “Fuji…You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing. I always knew nothing good would come from me outing myself, and I’m sorry that you think that it’s your fault that I’ve been…not so myself.”
"It is partially my fault though," Fuji protested, "I wasn't honest with you...in the tunnel when you told me, I didn't give you a fully honest answer..." He trailed off, biting his lip.
His brows furrowed together and he looked up at Fuji, confusion written on his face. “Fuji…what are you talking about…?” He asked. What else could he be truthful about…?
Fuji felt horrible, "I didn't mean to be dishonest at all, I just...didn't know any better back then. Like I said, I needed to work some things out" he explained, "When I said all that, I thought I wanted something else, but it turns out what I wanted was all wrong." He was rambling, he realized belatedly, and not making much sense.
Taka thought back to what Fuji had said. Something about if they were at home, he’d go out with the other. Taka had taken it as a little white lie, and maybe it was eating at Fuji’s heart that he told such a thing…but to his surprise, it wasn’t. At least…he didn’t think so. “Fuji…wh…what are you going on about…?” He asked, unable to follow what the tensai was saying.
Fuji rubbed exasperatedly at his forehead; he was confusing himself again. "I mean," he said, trying to put in the simplest way possible, "That I think I might have made a mistake."
A mistake? But…about what? Cocking his head to the side, he looked over at the other. “What sort of mistake..? I mean…I understand when you weren’t truthful about when you said you would date me if we were at home….it’s okay. I’m not your type, or something…” He was surprised at how well his voice held up to the words he said.
Fuji looked up, alarmed. "What?" he said, stunned to think he'd explained it (or attempted to) so badly that Taka had gotten completely the wrong end of the stick. "What?" He repeated, dumbfounded, "That's not what I meant at all."
It…wasn’t that? Sighing-all this thinking was giving him a headache as his fingers came to massage his temple gently for a moment. “It’s…not? Than…what is it that you meant…?”
Fuji flushed, ever so slightly. "I meant...Perhaps I was overly hasty in- in saying 'no'." He ducked his head a little, unable to look Taka in the eye, "I thought I wanted a different sort of relationship, and it took me until now to realize that what I want and what's best aren't necessarily the same thing."
Taka listened closely to the other boy, and gaped. His mind had a hard time wrapping around Fuji’s words-mostly because he never thought he would hear them. Though…it bothered him that Fuji talked about what he wanted and what’s best aren’t the same. Did that mean…that Fuji didn’t want him, but thought he was safe or something…? He stayed silent, thinking over Fuji’s words.
Fuji remained silent, uncomfortable all of a sudden, "Saa, say something," he prompted, worried that he'd somehow managed to make an even better mess of things.
The smaller boy’s soft words brought him back from his thoughts, and he looked down at the floor. “I…I think I liked the rejection the other day better than that…” He whispered. Fuji didn’t want him…it was just he was a good guy.
Fuji looked at him, hurt. "Do you really?" he replied, tense and upset. He wondered if he'd perhaps put things badly again. "Please, Taka...I'm walking blind here. You know me; you know I'm either hiding myself away or manipulating people, regardless of my intentions. I..." he gave a weak laugh, "I don't really know how to be honest. Even with myself." He rubbed at his chest, feeling choked.
Taka could only nod to answer Fuji’s question. It hurt-but he was trying to hard to be strong. He wouldn’t act depressed, or hide in his room-he saw that it hurt the other boy to do so. Finally looking up at Fuji, he shook his head. “I…I am too, Fuji. But…I know enough to know that…even if I
don’t deserve you…I don’t deserve to be the back up to anyone…the safe one that you can always fall back on…” His eyes stung, but he refused to show his hurt.
Fuji swallowed, unable to distinguish between his own perception of things and Taka’s. He shook his head, partly in denial and partially to try and clear it. "You're not the back up," he said thickly, "I promise, that's not how it is. I can't explain what's going on with me right now, but, I like you, Taka." It was the first time he'd properly acknowledged it, even privately. "I turned you down before because I thought that you...I don't know, because you weren't offering exactly what I thought I wanted, but I was wrong, I didn't know it then but I was."
He didn’t understand any of this. Fuji wasn’t being clear…his words were a double-edged sword, saying two different things and still able to cut. “I…but Fuji…If I’m not your backup…than…I don’t understand. ‘What you want and what’s best aren’t the same…’ So…?” He trailed off, his head a jumble of words and feelings.
Fuji gave a weary sort of laugh, "Taka the long and short of it is that I.am.a.mess;" he said, feeling raw and exposed. He exhaled and tried to start again from the beginning, "I got...rejected In favor of someone else a while ago. A long time ago actually, but still, it...threw me. And then after that I ended up in the middle of Niou and Yagyuu's relationship problems and that threw me even more. So...up until now," he paused. This was better. He felt calmer, and more himself, "I've been looking for something to make myself feel better. Feel...like I’m desirable, but without looking for an actual relationship. The shortest politest way I can put it is I wanted a lover. Not a partner, a boyfriend or a 'love'. Just...someone I could screw around with. Only to no success. And then..." he paused again, struggling a little. "And then you showed up, and I got thrown off again."
His eyes widened yet again. Someone would dare to reject Fuji? Who would do such a thing? He was like an angel on earth…yet, he sounded jaded as he talked. His mind whirled. In the middle of Niou and Yagyuu’s relationship…? He listened until Fuji had nothing left to say, his mind still trying to understand Fuji. “I…I threw you off. So…now…you want…?” He didn’t say anything about the other’s words-it was his life and he had no right to judge.
Fuji tried to remain calm and level headed. "It's more to do with what you wanted; you said you liked me but at the same time didn't seem to want anything from me, which was confusing. Anyway...Basically when I said 'no', it was only because I was so jumbled up, in here," he tapped at the side of his head.
Taka frowned. “Of course I didn’t. If you didn’t return my feelings, I would not want to force my feelings or wants upon you, Fuji…” Wasn’t that just…considerate? Maybe it was weird…”Ah…is your head anymore clear than…?” He wasn’t sure what was going on…but he’d listen to Fuji and see if he could help.
"A little," said Fuji wryly, "I had a peculiar conversation with...well, a friend I guess, which made me realize where my path would have fetch up and realized I wasn't happy. And then the first thing I thought of was you..." He looked up at Taka, catching his eye for the first time. "I thought of you right when I'd stopped thinking about all the other shit for a change and..."
That made him feel a little better. “And…?” He prompted, looking up and meeting Fuji’s eye since their conversation under ground.
"And thought that what I was looking at had quite a lot of appeal after all." said Fuji, smiling a little shyly.
Taka’s cheeks blushed and he bowed his head to hide his smile. Fuji was…interested in him?
Fuji sat, waiting for some sort of response from the other. He couldn't tell what expression he had, considering the other's bowed head. Looking away again, He chewed at his lip briefly before asking, "It's not too late, is it?"
Too late? He looked up at he other, and gave him a smile that he rarely showed anyone besides family. “Fujik-…Syusuke. I couldn’t say no to you, you know that…”
Fuji quirked a smile in response, his chest suddenly feeling somewhat tights, his pulse erratic. "Yeah, I know that..." he murmured, "But I wanted to give you the option, at the very least."
Chuckling at the smaller boy, he shook his head. “I think I’d have to be dumb to turn down a chance at loving you, Syusuke…” He suddenly paused. “I do…I mean…you want a…relationship?” He had to confirm.
"I'd like to try at one," said Fuji honestly, "With you, I mean. Specifically."
His smile grew. “I think I’d like to try one too, with you.” He’d never had one before, or even something as simple as a kiss before…and it felt nice to be starting this with Fuji.
"So..." said Fuji, suddenly finding the situation awkward, still feeling a little bad from before, although better than he had. "I'm forgiven then?"
“There was never anything to forgive. I was never upset with you, Fujiko-chan. Just myself…” He murmured.
"Well, you probably should have been," said Fuji, "I was pretty horrible to you." he ran a hand through his hair and then decided that this was not the best time to start quibbling. Things were fragile enough as they were. "Saa... for future reference, though" he said slowly, "Make sure if I start being off again, to tell me off. Ne?"
‘’You were not. I had already known that we couldn’t be. I…guess I was wrong than, though, huh?” He sounded cheerful, and agreed with a nod. He wondered if he would be able to…hug the other boy. Was that allowed? He had no idea about the rules of dating.
Fuji looked up, glad that Taka seemed to finally cheer a little and gave a more genuine smile. "We were both wrong, in different ways," he agreed.
Taka agreed. “And it’s behind us, right…?” He asked softly.
"It's behind us," Fuji agreed. No more dwelling in the past, he thought, it only bought trouble.
“And even if we’re stuck on this island…I’m glad I’m getting the chance to know more about you, Syusuke.” He blushed as he used his first name, but thought it was more appropriate. Right…?
Fuji nodded, amused at Taka. No one had ever used his first name like this before. Only his mother actually, now that he thought about it. "Same," he agreed, and then added, "It's ok, you can call me that if you want."
Giving Fuji a big smile, he shifted on the seat and it reminded him they were still in the music room. “Ah…You may call me Takashi if you’d like too, Syusuke…”
"Takashi," repeated Fuji, trying it out quietly to himself. "That sounds good to me."
“I think I like the sound of that, Syusuke…” He admitted shyly.
Fuji toyed with one of the abandoned scores, nodding, wondering what to do next. He didn't want to approach Taka so readily for fear of putting a foot wrong, but yet he couldn't see any way to encourage Taka to approach of his own accord. He gave the other boy yet another reassuring smile.
In his head, Taka was having a debate with what he was supposed to do next. Was it alright to get up and hug Fuji, now that they’ve decided to have a relationship? Did it mean they were boyfriends or just dating…? Did he have to ask for a hug…? A kiss…? He blushed at the thought.
Fuji noted the blush and cocked his head to one side, curious, "What were you thinking of?" He asked teasingly, glad for a shoe-in to the subject, "You've gone quite pink."
“Anou…well…just…maybe…being able to…ah…kiss you…” He finished off, head red as he stuttered.
Fuji chuckled delicately, "Saa... I see, that is a dilemma." he said, pretending to think on the matter, "I suppose I could allow for that," he said, thoughtfully, trying not to smirk.
Looking up at the other boy, he bit his lip for a moment. “I…I don’t know how.” He admitted, looking at a spot to the right of Fuji’s head.
"Well a good start is shortening the distance to a good deal less than a room's width," Fuji pointed out.
Nodding-pinks still pink, he stood and slowly took baby steps toward the brunette, his heart beating faster and faster with each tiny step he took.
Fuji sat, stilling as Taka approached. He smiled, a little taken by Taka's nervousness. Reaching out as he approached he brushed the other boys shirt cuff. "Saa... relax," he advised, "it's nothing to worry about, ne?"
His own hands hesitantly reached out to touch Fuji, his right hand cupped Fuji’s cheek, while his left treaded his fingers through the silky looking hair. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “I’m relaxed…”
Fuji leaned into Taka's hand gently, nodding a little. "Good," he said quietly, reaching up to rest one hand in the crook of Taka's elbow.
Smiling at the other, he bent down slightly, letting his eyes fluttered to close after aligning their lips together. All he had to do was move forward just a couple inches…
Fuji exhaled gently and then leaned upwards to close the distance in a chaste kiss. He slid his arm a little more around Taka, nudging him a little closer and then relented again into the other boy's control
The touch of their lips together made Taka make a small sound in the back of his throat. It was like a dream. Wielding to Fuji’s nudging, he kept close to his boyfriend, giving him a soft kiss-his first.
Fuji relaxed into the kiss, moving his lips a little against Taka's, seeking more closeness. Carefully he slid off the table, moving his arms to wrap them round under Taka's arms.
One kiss turned into two as he began breathing through his nose. He didn’t want to stop this wonderful feeling of Fuji’s gentle and soft lips against his own. He gladly held the other tightly after one hand trailed from his hair down toward the middle of his back.
Fuji arched into the kiss, letting Taka pull him close and enjoying the warmth of it. Daringly, he brushed his tongue against Taka's lips a little, just to see how he'd react
The feeling of Fuji in his arms was heavenly, and he sighed into the kiss as he held the smaller boy close. At the caress of Fuji’s tongue against his lips, he parted automatically, making a little approval noise in the back of his throat.
Fuji all but purred, hands creeping over Taka's back in small erratic circles as he too opened his mouth into the kiss.
He couldn’t help but open his eyes and peak down at Fuji for a moment-just to double check that this was real, before he let his lips part a little wider to accompany Fuji’s own open mouth. The hands on his back felt good, and he began to rub his hand up and down Fuji’s back, as his other cupped Fuji’s cheek softly.
Fuji slid his tongue across Taka's palette before drawing the other boy's tongue back to his own mouth, giving a little 'unf' of pleasure as he did so.
Taka had never gotten the idea of French kissing. Who would want someone’s tongue in your mouth, and all that spit…but right now, his opinion changed. The feeling of Fuji’s tongue in his mouth made his knee’s want to give out, and after being teased, his own tongue shifted to explore Fuji’s mouth. He loved the sound Fuji made, and answered back with one of his own.
Fuji smiled against Taka's lips, pleased that Taka was now taking some initiative. He dug his fingers into Taka's shirt and kissed back a little harder before sneaking his arms up to loops them around Taka's neck.
After a couple more minuets of heavy kissing, Taka had to pull back for some air. Resting his forehead against Fuji’s own, he smiled dreamily at the other. “Wow…”
Fuji let his eyes slide open a fraction. "Mm," he agreed, "Not bad." he relaxed his grasp around Taka's neck, letting his hands slide down to wrap around Taka's waist instead. He nudged his head under Taka's chin to rest it against his chest, hearing his heartbeat.
“Not bad?” He asked, with a chuckle. “More like even better than my dreams.” Moving so both his hands were on Fuji’s back, he held him close, chin resting upon Fuji’s crown of hair. It felt…so nice, and he could forget about being on the stupid island and everything else and just…concentrate on holding the one he loved.
Fuji gave a small laugh, worn out. He nuzzled against Taka's collarbone and gave a sigh of something pretty close to contentment. For the first time in a long while he felt...relaxed.
This was so nice…rubbing Fuji’s back and having the boy in his arms. He couldn’t help the big goofy smile he had on his face as he continued to stand there.
Fuji exhaled softly and then moved, tugging gently on Taka's arm to get free of the embrace a little. "Saa...So," he said, "It's official now? Things are fine between us?"
Unwillingly, Taka let the other go slightly, so his arms were just loosely around him and they had inched between them. He blushed, and hesitated, before nodding. “Well…I would like things to be official between us…is that what you want?”
Fuji nodded, "Yes," he said simply. He curled back into Taka's arms again, shifting so that he was once more perched on the edge of the table. "Can we stay like this for a little while?" he asked quietly.
Smiling he sighed happily. “I’m so glad, Syusuke…” He wrapped his arms once again around the other, and marveled at how well they fit together. “As long as you want.” He answered.
What: Forced into talking to Fuji, Taka gets a nice surprise
When: After all of the logs~
Where: Outside Fuji's bedroom door, and in the music room
Warnings: PG-13 for...Kissing! Lucky Taka-san. And it's a lil long~ But cute!
Sighing silently, Taka looked at the many-framed pictures on his wall. His eyes caught one in particular-the one of the Fuji family celebrating New Years at Kawamura Sushi; he remembered that Fuji didn’t have a single picture of his family. He wasn’t sure if Yuuta did either, now that he thought about it. Maybe he should just…slip it under the door? Nodding silently to himself, he stood, and took the frame carefully from the wall and opened it up. Digging around for a big Manila Envelope, he slid the 8x10 into the yellow colored envelope, and was out the door.
It took him a couple minutes to find Fuji’s room, but as soon as he did, he bent down, and ever so carefully started to slide the thin package under the doorframe. After all…he didn’t want to meet with the other, after he was still so raw.
Fuji rubbed wearily at his hair, feeling drained and slightly on edge after his conversation with Ryoga. It was strange, but the interaction he'd had over the last few days with Niou, Saeki and the older Echizen brother had somehow shaken his perspective on himself, and left him feeling for the first time ever like his personality left much to be desired. Rounding the corner, intent on going to his room and having a rest for a while, he almost didn't see the other figure in the hallway, bending at his door. He looked up, puzzled, and then with a jolt realized whom it was. He took in the scene, the envelope and Taka and then froze for a second, wondering what was going on. Taka had, after all been avoiding him. He started towards the other and then hesitated again, uncertain what to say, and debating turning to duck back around the corner silently. But by then it was already too late.
After the envelope was safely on the other side of the door, Taka couldn’t help but give a little smile at the thought of Fuji being happy when he saw the picture. At least…he hoped the other would be happy to see a picture of all five of them together. Righting himself, he turned around to head in the direction he came from, when his brown eyes widened. Fuji was standing right there, looking at him…
Fuji stood there; looking at Taka, face automatically fixing into his usual smile. He'd been intending to find the other, and soon, but he hadn't quite banked on it being this sudden. "Hello," he said, quietly, unable to bear the silence any longer. He glanced at the bottom of the door where he could still see the corner of the envelope poking out, curious. "What were you doing?"
Taka swallowed hard, and couldn’t seem to meet the other’s eyes. “Hello…” He answered back, before looking toward the door. “I…the picture of your family.” He trailed off lamely. He cursed that there wasn’t enough space to scoot around the other and run back to his room to hide, but instead, had to wait for Fuji to move one way or another.
Fuji tilted his head, puzzled for a moment and then in a flash recalled Taka talking about photographs before. He moved forward cautiously and stooped to retrieve the envelope, opening it and sliding the image out with care. He smiled a little to see it, brushing his fingertips over the surface. "Is it really ok to take it?" he asked, voice softer than before.
Maybe Fuji forgot about the picture. He didn’t know why the idea stung a little-maybe because it was a private conversation between them that he did not remember. But than, Fuji seemed to remember, and he had to shift so Fuji could pick up the picture. He smiled a little-still looking toward the ground. “Of course. It’s not like I need the picture, when you don’t have one.”
"That's very generous of you, even so," said Fuji, glancing at Taka from the corner of his eye and then tucking the photograph back into the envelope with the utmost care. "How are you, by the way? I haven't- I haven't seen you about in some time now." He swallowed; trying to pull his emotions back to their normal state, suddenly cross with himself for acting so uncharacteristically. The cause, however, was obvious to him. For one reason or another, between them his friends had finally managed to put a crack in his mask...
“It’s nothing.” He insisted, and nodded at the other as he shifted his feet. Now, would be a good time to leave, before it got awkward-too late, it seemed. He shrugged. “I’ve been alright. Very…homesick. And you? Glad to see Yuuta-kun?” He asked politely.
Fuji nodded, letting the subject of the photograph drop for a moment, noting Taka's apprehensiveness. "Yes, it's been nice to see him again," he answered and then, folding his arms around the envelope added in a quieter voice, "Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about..."
Smiling, he took a quick glance at Fuji-still as breathtaking as ever, it seemed. “I’m glad. I’m sorry that he ended up here…but at least you two can go through this ordeal together.” He mumbled softly, before blinking. Fuji wanted to talk to him about something…? Maybe he wanted some Wasabi Sushi…”Alright than…” He guessed it would be rude to deny the smaller boy the chance to talk, even if he didn’t want to.
Fuji thought for a moment, trying to course his thoughts into some sort of order. This wasn't really the sort of conversation he really wanted to have in the middle of the hall. And his room was far too intimate in contrast…"Not here," he decided, "Do you mind if we go into the music room? It's just over there..."
With a heavy heart, Taka nodded politely, and turned around before starting off toward the music room. He really wasn’t in the mood-still. He just couldn’t seem to shake off this depressive cloud that had settled upon his head after his confession and Fuji’s rejection.
Fuji padded along silently behind the other, hoping he hadn't just made a huge mistake in initiating this talk, and willing himself firmly not to mess things up. He closed the door to the little piano room behind them and exhaled slowly, perching on one of the tables. "Saa..." he said, quirking a slightly nervous sort of smile, "this is a little awkward isn't it?"
Moving into the room, Taka sat down on a chair by the wall, and looked over at the other boy. He nodded. “I bit, I guess…” He admitted softly to the other. He was worried though-what did Fuji want to talk to him about?
Fuji looked away, examining the shelf next to him and the scores on it. "I'm not really sure how to start..." he began slowly, "I suppose I should really start off by apologizing for my recent behavior," he glanced at Taka, unnerved by the other's uncharacteristic quietness. "I've not really been very fair to you..."
Chocolate brown eyes widened at Fuji’s words, and he shook his head. He felt horribly guilty now, for letting his depressive mood get the best of him-here it was hurting Fuji to think that he caused it. “Fuji…You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing. I always knew nothing good would come from me outing myself, and I’m sorry that you think that it’s your fault that I’ve been…not so myself.”
"It is partially my fault though," Fuji protested, "I wasn't honest with you...in the tunnel when you told me, I didn't give you a fully honest answer..." He trailed off, biting his lip.
His brows furrowed together and he looked up at Fuji, confusion written on his face. “Fuji…what are you talking about…?” He asked. What else could he be truthful about…?
Fuji felt horrible, "I didn't mean to be dishonest at all, I just...didn't know any better back then. Like I said, I needed to work some things out" he explained, "When I said all that, I thought I wanted something else, but it turns out what I wanted was all wrong." He was rambling, he realized belatedly, and not making much sense.
Taka thought back to what Fuji had said. Something about if they were at home, he’d go out with the other. Taka had taken it as a little white lie, and maybe it was eating at Fuji’s heart that he told such a thing…but to his surprise, it wasn’t. At least…he didn’t think so. “Fuji…wh…what are you going on about…?” He asked, unable to follow what the tensai was saying.
Fuji rubbed exasperatedly at his forehead; he was confusing himself again. "I mean," he said, trying to put in the simplest way possible, "That I think I might have made a mistake."
A mistake? But…about what? Cocking his head to the side, he looked over at the other. “What sort of mistake..? I mean…I understand when you weren’t truthful about when you said you would date me if we were at home….it’s okay. I’m not your type, or something…” He was surprised at how well his voice held up to the words he said.
Fuji looked up, alarmed. "What?" he said, stunned to think he'd explained it (or attempted to) so badly that Taka had gotten completely the wrong end of the stick. "What?" He repeated, dumbfounded, "That's not what I meant at all."
It…wasn’t that? Sighing-all this thinking was giving him a headache as his fingers came to massage his temple gently for a moment. “It’s…not? Than…what is it that you meant…?”
Fuji flushed, ever so slightly. "I meant...Perhaps I was overly hasty in- in saying 'no'." He ducked his head a little, unable to look Taka in the eye, "I thought I wanted a different sort of relationship, and it took me until now to realize that what I want and what's best aren't necessarily the same thing."
Taka listened closely to the other boy, and gaped. His mind had a hard time wrapping around Fuji’s words-mostly because he never thought he would hear them. Though…it bothered him that Fuji talked about what he wanted and what’s best aren’t the same. Did that mean…that Fuji didn’t want him, but thought he was safe or something…? He stayed silent, thinking over Fuji’s words.
Fuji remained silent, uncomfortable all of a sudden, "Saa, say something," he prompted, worried that he'd somehow managed to make an even better mess of things.
The smaller boy’s soft words brought him back from his thoughts, and he looked down at the floor. “I…I think I liked the rejection the other day better than that…” He whispered. Fuji didn’t want him…it was just he was a good guy.
Fuji looked at him, hurt. "Do you really?" he replied, tense and upset. He wondered if he'd perhaps put things badly again. "Please, Taka...I'm walking blind here. You know me; you know I'm either hiding myself away or manipulating people, regardless of my intentions. I..." he gave a weak laugh, "I don't really know how to be honest. Even with myself." He rubbed at his chest, feeling choked.
Taka could only nod to answer Fuji’s question. It hurt-but he was trying to hard to be strong. He wouldn’t act depressed, or hide in his room-he saw that it hurt the other boy to do so. Finally looking up at Fuji, he shook his head. “I…I am too, Fuji. But…I know enough to know that…even if I
don’t deserve you…I don’t deserve to be the back up to anyone…the safe one that you can always fall back on…” His eyes stung, but he refused to show his hurt.
Fuji swallowed, unable to distinguish between his own perception of things and Taka’s. He shook his head, partly in denial and partially to try and clear it. "You're not the back up," he said thickly, "I promise, that's not how it is. I can't explain what's going on with me right now, but, I like you, Taka." It was the first time he'd properly acknowledged it, even privately. "I turned you down before because I thought that you...I don't know, because you weren't offering exactly what I thought I wanted, but I was wrong, I didn't know it then but I was."
He didn’t understand any of this. Fuji wasn’t being clear…his words were a double-edged sword, saying two different things and still able to cut. “I…but Fuji…If I’m not your backup…than…I don’t understand. ‘What you want and what’s best aren’t the same…’ So…?” He trailed off, his head a jumble of words and feelings.
Fuji gave a weary sort of laugh, "Taka the long and short of it is that I.am.a.mess;" he said, feeling raw and exposed. He exhaled and tried to start again from the beginning, "I got...rejected In favor of someone else a while ago. A long time ago actually, but still, it...threw me. And then after that I ended up in the middle of Niou and Yagyuu's relationship problems and that threw me even more. So...up until now," he paused. This was better. He felt calmer, and more himself, "I've been looking for something to make myself feel better. Feel...like I’m desirable, but without looking for an actual relationship. The shortest politest way I can put it is I wanted a lover. Not a partner, a boyfriend or a 'love'. Just...someone I could screw around with. Only to no success. And then..." he paused again, struggling a little. "And then you showed up, and I got thrown off again."
His eyes widened yet again. Someone would dare to reject Fuji? Who would do such a thing? He was like an angel on earth…yet, he sounded jaded as he talked. His mind whirled. In the middle of Niou and Yagyuu’s relationship…? He listened until Fuji had nothing left to say, his mind still trying to understand Fuji. “I…I threw you off. So…now…you want…?” He didn’t say anything about the other’s words-it was his life and he had no right to judge.
Fuji tried to remain calm and level headed. "It's more to do with what you wanted; you said you liked me but at the same time didn't seem to want anything from me, which was confusing. Anyway...Basically when I said 'no', it was only because I was so jumbled up, in here," he tapped at the side of his head.
Taka frowned. “Of course I didn’t. If you didn’t return my feelings, I would not want to force my feelings or wants upon you, Fuji…” Wasn’t that just…considerate? Maybe it was weird…”Ah…is your head anymore clear than…?” He wasn’t sure what was going on…but he’d listen to Fuji and see if he could help.
"A little," said Fuji wryly, "I had a peculiar conversation with...well, a friend I guess, which made me realize where my path would have fetch up and realized I wasn't happy. And then the first thing I thought of was you..." He looked up at Taka, catching his eye for the first time. "I thought of you right when I'd stopped thinking about all the other shit for a change and..."
That made him feel a little better. “And…?” He prompted, looking up and meeting Fuji’s eye since their conversation under ground.
"And thought that what I was looking at had quite a lot of appeal after all." said Fuji, smiling a little shyly.
Taka’s cheeks blushed and he bowed his head to hide his smile. Fuji was…interested in him?
Fuji sat, waiting for some sort of response from the other. He couldn't tell what expression he had, considering the other's bowed head. Looking away again, He chewed at his lip briefly before asking, "It's not too late, is it?"
Too late? He looked up at he other, and gave him a smile that he rarely showed anyone besides family. “Fujik-…Syusuke. I couldn’t say no to you, you know that…”
Fuji quirked a smile in response, his chest suddenly feeling somewhat tights, his pulse erratic. "Yeah, I know that..." he murmured, "But I wanted to give you the option, at the very least."
Chuckling at the smaller boy, he shook his head. “I think I’d have to be dumb to turn down a chance at loving you, Syusuke…” He suddenly paused. “I do…I mean…you want a…relationship?” He had to confirm.
"I'd like to try at one," said Fuji honestly, "With you, I mean. Specifically."
His smile grew. “I think I’d like to try one too, with you.” He’d never had one before, or even something as simple as a kiss before…and it felt nice to be starting this with Fuji.
"So..." said Fuji, suddenly finding the situation awkward, still feeling a little bad from before, although better than he had. "I'm forgiven then?"
“There was never anything to forgive. I was never upset with you, Fujiko-chan. Just myself…” He murmured.
"Well, you probably should have been," said Fuji, "I was pretty horrible to you." he ran a hand through his hair and then decided that this was not the best time to start quibbling. Things were fragile enough as they were. "Saa... for future reference, though" he said slowly, "Make sure if I start being off again, to tell me off. Ne?"
‘’You were not. I had already known that we couldn’t be. I…guess I was wrong than, though, huh?” He sounded cheerful, and agreed with a nod. He wondered if he would be able to…hug the other boy. Was that allowed? He had no idea about the rules of dating.
Fuji looked up, glad that Taka seemed to finally cheer a little and gave a more genuine smile. "We were both wrong, in different ways," he agreed.
Taka agreed. “And it’s behind us, right…?” He asked softly.
"It's behind us," Fuji agreed. No more dwelling in the past, he thought, it only bought trouble.
“And even if we’re stuck on this island…I’m glad I’m getting the chance to know more about you, Syusuke.” He blushed as he used his first name, but thought it was more appropriate. Right…?
Fuji nodded, amused at Taka. No one had ever used his first name like this before. Only his mother actually, now that he thought about it. "Same," he agreed, and then added, "It's ok, you can call me that if you want."
Giving Fuji a big smile, he shifted on the seat and it reminded him they were still in the music room. “Ah…You may call me Takashi if you’d like too, Syusuke…”
"Takashi," repeated Fuji, trying it out quietly to himself. "That sounds good to me."
“I think I like the sound of that, Syusuke…” He admitted shyly.
Fuji toyed with one of the abandoned scores, nodding, wondering what to do next. He didn't want to approach Taka so readily for fear of putting a foot wrong, but yet he couldn't see any way to encourage Taka to approach of his own accord. He gave the other boy yet another reassuring smile.
In his head, Taka was having a debate with what he was supposed to do next. Was it alright to get up and hug Fuji, now that they’ve decided to have a relationship? Did it mean they were boyfriends or just dating…? Did he have to ask for a hug…? A kiss…? He blushed at the thought.
Fuji noted the blush and cocked his head to one side, curious, "What were you thinking of?" He asked teasingly, glad for a shoe-in to the subject, "You've gone quite pink."
“Anou…well…just…maybe…being able to…ah…kiss you…” He finished off, head red as he stuttered.
Fuji chuckled delicately, "Saa... I see, that is a dilemma." he said, pretending to think on the matter, "I suppose I could allow for that," he said, thoughtfully, trying not to smirk.
Looking up at the other boy, he bit his lip for a moment. “I…I don’t know how.” He admitted, looking at a spot to the right of Fuji’s head.
"Well a good start is shortening the distance to a good deal less than a room's width," Fuji pointed out.
Nodding-pinks still pink, he stood and slowly took baby steps toward the brunette, his heart beating faster and faster with each tiny step he took.
Fuji sat, stilling as Taka approached. He smiled, a little taken by Taka's nervousness. Reaching out as he approached he brushed the other boys shirt cuff. "Saa... relax," he advised, "it's nothing to worry about, ne?"
His own hands hesitantly reached out to touch Fuji, his right hand cupped Fuji’s cheek, while his left treaded his fingers through the silky looking hair. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “I’m relaxed…”
Fuji leaned into Taka's hand gently, nodding a little. "Good," he said quietly, reaching up to rest one hand in the crook of Taka's elbow.
Smiling at the other, he bent down slightly, letting his eyes fluttered to close after aligning their lips together. All he had to do was move forward just a couple inches…
Fuji exhaled gently and then leaned upwards to close the distance in a chaste kiss. He slid his arm a little more around Taka, nudging him a little closer and then relented again into the other boy's control
The touch of their lips together made Taka make a small sound in the back of his throat. It was like a dream. Wielding to Fuji’s nudging, he kept close to his boyfriend, giving him a soft kiss-his first.
Fuji relaxed into the kiss, moving his lips a little against Taka's, seeking more closeness. Carefully he slid off the table, moving his arms to wrap them round under Taka's arms.
One kiss turned into two as he began breathing through his nose. He didn’t want to stop this wonderful feeling of Fuji’s gentle and soft lips against his own. He gladly held the other tightly after one hand trailed from his hair down toward the middle of his back.
Fuji arched into the kiss, letting Taka pull him close and enjoying the warmth of it. Daringly, he brushed his tongue against Taka's lips a little, just to see how he'd react
The feeling of Fuji in his arms was heavenly, and he sighed into the kiss as he held the smaller boy close. At the caress of Fuji’s tongue against his lips, he parted automatically, making a little approval noise in the back of his throat.
Fuji all but purred, hands creeping over Taka's back in small erratic circles as he too opened his mouth into the kiss.
He couldn’t help but open his eyes and peak down at Fuji for a moment-just to double check that this was real, before he let his lips part a little wider to accompany Fuji’s own open mouth. The hands on his back felt good, and he began to rub his hand up and down Fuji’s back, as his other cupped Fuji’s cheek softly.
Fuji slid his tongue across Taka's palette before drawing the other boy's tongue back to his own mouth, giving a little 'unf' of pleasure as he did so.
Taka had never gotten the idea of French kissing. Who would want someone’s tongue in your mouth, and all that spit…but right now, his opinion changed. The feeling of Fuji’s tongue in his mouth made his knee’s want to give out, and after being teased, his own tongue shifted to explore Fuji’s mouth. He loved the sound Fuji made, and answered back with one of his own.
Fuji smiled against Taka's lips, pleased that Taka was now taking some initiative. He dug his fingers into Taka's shirt and kissed back a little harder before sneaking his arms up to loops them around Taka's neck.
After a couple more minuets of heavy kissing, Taka had to pull back for some air. Resting his forehead against Fuji’s own, he smiled dreamily at the other. “Wow…”
Fuji let his eyes slide open a fraction. "Mm," he agreed, "Not bad." he relaxed his grasp around Taka's neck, letting his hands slide down to wrap around Taka's waist instead. He nudged his head under Taka's chin to rest it against his chest, hearing his heartbeat.
“Not bad?” He asked, with a chuckle. “More like even better than my dreams.” Moving so both his hands were on Fuji’s back, he held him close, chin resting upon Fuji’s crown of hair. It felt…so nice, and he could forget about being on the stupid island and everything else and just…concentrate on holding the one he loved.
Fuji gave a small laugh, worn out. He nuzzled against Taka's collarbone and gave a sigh of something pretty close to contentment. For the first time in a long while he felt...relaxed.
This was so nice…rubbing Fuji’s back and having the boy in his arms. He couldn’t help the big goofy smile he had on his face as he continued to stand there.
Fuji exhaled softly and then moved, tugging gently on Taka's arm to get free of the embrace a little. "Saa...So," he said, "It's official now? Things are fine between us?"
Unwillingly, Taka let the other go slightly, so his arms were just loosely around him and they had inched between them. He blushed, and hesitated, before nodding. “Well…I would like things to be official between us…is that what you want?”
Fuji nodded, "Yes," he said simply. He curled back into Taka's arms again, shifting so that he was once more perched on the edge of the table. "Can we stay like this for a little while?" he asked quietly.
Smiling he sighed happily. “I’m so glad, Syusuke…” He wrapped his arms once again around the other, and marveled at how well they fit together. “As long as you want.” He answered.