mmmm

[the_kurgan]

ok this is something i started a while ago im not shore what to call it its not a script or a story but its kinda a cross :-s or at leats i think its how i invisage a film and the best i can discribe it i guess lol anyhow i want opinion if u can tell me if its worth carrying on or how i should write it to make it clearer if u have any idea how to

Comments

[magicmop]

I think its really good...i think if u leave out ur piss take of "and lands in the deers BIG FAT ASS!" it might help lol

You don't know me :P

[crazed_rascal]

Yeah. What she said ^^^ lol
I think it needs a spell check and some improvements to grammar. Pretty much all missy said. Is it the beginning of the tale? Later on you could make some indications of time periods and whatever. Invert set terms, like the camera. But cool man. Keep it up.

[warped_rascal]

Dude, i can't say anything that doesn't repeat what Sai and my bro said.
"bla monkey toss" Nice touch ;)
But its good dude, if made into a film i'd go see it. (Y)

[warped_rascal]

01010111011010000111100100100000011101000110100001100101001000000111001101100101011000110110111101101110011001000010000001100111011101010111100100111111

;)

Re:

[the_kurgan]

0110001001100101011000110110000101110101011100110110010100100000011000010111001100100000011001100110000101110010001000000110000101110011001000000110100100100000011010110110111001101111011101110010000001111001011011110111010101110010001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100110011010010111001001110011011101000010000001100100011101010110110101100010011000010111001101110011001000000011101001010000

[magicmop]

010101110110100001100001011101000010000001100001011100100110010100100000011101110110010101101100011011000010000001100001011011000110110000100000011101000110000101101100011010110110100101101110011001110010000001100001011000100110111101110101011101000011111100100000001110100110111101010000

[dark_enchantres]

I read it over and its very good you have a talent for writing so keep it up.