No, I don't want to attend that event
I often get invited to events. I like that. It's nice to feel included. But I probably won't go, for a number of reasons (I have listed 11). Normally I keep these to myself, but recently I've been criticized for not "supporting" stuff. So I'm feeling bitchy.
Reasons The Moogie Doesn't Go To Events
Reason 1: The event doesn't require me or my skills. Is the event a protest or march? Then it doesn't need me specifically. Bodies at these events are interchangable. I have no interest in filling space. That doesn't mean I don't like the organizers or support the cause in some other way.
Reason 2: The event is going to suck for me personally. I don't sing, I don't chant, and I hate walking slowly in the cold listening to speakers shouting incoherently through bad sound systems or playing songs I don't recognize. I've been to these events before, and hated every moment of them, even when they were for issues I cared about. At least the Dyke March had music and scantily clad women.
Reason 3: I am exhausted. I work 40-60 hours per week. I spend a lot of my off hours thinking about work too. So when I've finished an 11 hour shift (or actually have a day off) I have zero interest in filling that time with anything resembling work. If the event feels like work, I'm not going. This is selfish. And it is necessary.
Reason 4: The event is at night. I get up around 5:00am on most days and go to bed by 9:00pm, so dragging my tired ass out into the cold dark night isn't high on my to-do list. If the event starts at 9pm or later I won't be putting in an appearance. This is especially true if I have already attended an event (such as a work meeting) that takes place after 5:00pm in the same week. I often wonder if the people who tease me for going to bed so early would appreciate it if I called their house at 4:30am to ask how their day was going so far.
Reason 5: The guest list contains someone at whom I am currently pissed. I try to be nice. I do. But I have a very bad temper. So I pass on events if the guest list contains anyone I would like to evicerate with words or a dull bread knife. I realize that avoiding conflict may not be the best option. For starters it means that people often don't realize when I am angry at them. This was brought home to me recently when someone with whom I am no longer speaking invited me to an intimate gathering of friends. Message not received, it would seem.
Reason 6: I have a relationship. All my non-work time is, defacto, time to spend with Mr. Pugh. My relationship is one of my priorities, which is why it has been so successful. If I'm going to miss my allotment of Mr. Pugh the event has to be pretty darn special.
Reason 7: I am not always well. Sometimes I get very depressed. Sometimes I get anxious. This happens regularly and when it does all my energy gets spent dealing with it. It's not Lupus, but it does take all my spoons.
Reason 8: I am having body image issues. Yes, this is shallow. But until people stop judging others on how they look, this is just how things are. If my clothes aren't fitting me or I can't get my hair to look right I'm not leaving the house. Even if the event is going to have a bouncy castle.
Reason 9: The event is religious. I'm not often vocal about it, but I am an athiest. I actually mean this. Seriously. If the event in question revolves around God, The Goddess, or The Great Spirit, I have no interest in attending. I especially don't like having religion sprung on me in the form of opening prayers, grace, or conversations about personal relationship with Jesus (or whoever). I can only maintain a polite facade for so long, and then it will melt right off. And I'd prefer that not happen.
Reason 10: The event is not nearby. If the event requires an hour of travel time there and back, I'm not going. If it requires travelling on the TTC it had better have $6 worth of fun attached to it. If it requires taking a cab it needs to be much much better.
Reason 11: The event is stupid. I have unconventional beliefs and practices that put me outside the mainstream. This is good, because the mainstream can be stupid. But "outside the mainstream" contains a lot of stupid too. Not every event has to be a Mensa meeting, but I have no interest in spending my time trying to make conversation with anti-intellectuals engaged in activities that are clearly at odds with their stated goals.
So if you wonder why I'm not supporting more grassroots events, or attending parties or going to that awesome club night, this is why.
Reasons The Moogie Doesn't Go To Events
Reason 1: The event doesn't require me or my skills. Is the event a protest or march? Then it doesn't need me specifically. Bodies at these events are interchangable. I have no interest in filling space. That doesn't mean I don't like the organizers or support the cause in some other way.
Reason 2: The event is going to suck for me personally. I don't sing, I don't chant, and I hate walking slowly in the cold listening to speakers shouting incoherently through bad sound systems or playing songs I don't recognize. I've been to these events before, and hated every moment of them, even when they were for issues I cared about. At least the Dyke March had music and scantily clad women.
Reason 3: I am exhausted. I work 40-60 hours per week. I spend a lot of my off hours thinking about work too. So when I've finished an 11 hour shift (or actually have a day off) I have zero interest in filling that time with anything resembling work. If the event feels like work, I'm not going. This is selfish. And it is necessary.
Reason 4: The event is at night. I get up around 5:00am on most days and go to bed by 9:00pm, so dragging my tired ass out into the cold dark night isn't high on my to-do list. If the event starts at 9pm or later I won't be putting in an appearance. This is especially true if I have already attended an event (such as a work meeting) that takes place after 5:00pm in the same week. I often wonder if the people who tease me for going to bed so early would appreciate it if I called their house at 4:30am to ask how their day was going so far.
Reason 5: The guest list contains someone at whom I am currently pissed. I try to be nice. I do. But I have a very bad temper. So I pass on events if the guest list contains anyone I would like to evicerate with words or a dull bread knife. I realize that avoiding conflict may not be the best option. For starters it means that people often don't realize when I am angry at them. This was brought home to me recently when someone with whom I am no longer speaking invited me to an intimate gathering of friends. Message not received, it would seem.
Reason 6: I have a relationship. All my non-work time is, defacto, time to spend with Mr. Pugh. My relationship is one of my priorities, which is why it has been so successful. If I'm going to miss my allotment of Mr. Pugh the event has to be pretty darn special.
Reason 7: I am not always well. Sometimes I get very depressed. Sometimes I get anxious. This happens regularly and when it does all my energy gets spent dealing with it. It's not Lupus, but it does take all my spoons.
Reason 8: I am having body image issues. Yes, this is shallow. But until people stop judging others on how they look, this is just how things are. If my clothes aren't fitting me or I can't get my hair to look right I'm not leaving the house. Even if the event is going to have a bouncy castle.
Reason 9: The event is religious. I'm not often vocal about it, but I am an athiest. I actually mean this. Seriously. If the event in question revolves around God, The Goddess, or The Great Spirit, I have no interest in attending. I especially don't like having religion sprung on me in the form of opening prayers, grace, or conversations about personal relationship with Jesus (or whoever). I can only maintain a polite facade for so long, and then it will melt right off. And I'd prefer that not happen.
Reason 10: The event is not nearby. If the event requires an hour of travel time there and back, I'm not going. If it requires travelling on the TTC it had better have $6 worth of fun attached to it. If it requires taking a cab it needs to be much much better.
Reason 11: The event is stupid. I have unconventional beliefs and practices that put me outside the mainstream. This is good, because the mainstream can be stupid. But "outside the mainstream" contains a lot of stupid too. Not every event has to be a Mensa meeting, but I have no interest in spending my time trying to make conversation with anti-intellectuals engaged in activities that are clearly at odds with their stated goals.
So if you wonder why I'm not supporting more grassroots events, or attending parties or going to that awesome club night, this is why.