Neshomeh Makes a Speech About Bullying, Critiquing, and Concrit: What We Are and What We Are Not.
EDIT: Clearing up some of my language and adding a link to the new section in our FAQ: For Other People in the first two paragraphs in case more non-members happen by in the future. (Hello, non-members! *waves*)
Also, I would like to make it clear that this particular post isn't about the "'Mary-Sue' is a misogynist term" issue. For the record, though: after a period of intense thought, my personal feeling is still that it makes more sense to change a word's meaning with education over time than to try to change how a thing is perceived by changing what it is called. Therefore, I'll keep on saying "Mary-Sue" on the understanding that it applies only to fanfiction characters and that its gender is a byproduct of Internet demographics rather than a deliberate slur on women. For me, "Mary-Sue" goes on the same list as "Don't say 'gay' unless you mean 'homosexual'." I'm not prepared to change my mind at this time, so please respect my right to my own point of view. Thank you. (April 29, 2010)
First, background. Unless you have been under a rock busy with other things this past week, you probably know that someone called Boosette wrote a discourse concerning the evils of sporking Mary-Sues, and you probably also know that there has been some serious reaction from our side. We pretty unanimously agree that Boosette got most of the facts about us wrong and doesn't really understand our point of view. However, I hope you also noticed that several of us feel that she raised a valid issue with what we're doing, and that is what I'd like to talk about in this thread.
Boosette accused us of three serious things: being misogynists, being bullies, and not practicing what we preach about improving the fandom(s). The first we have already discussed and dismissed; it is baseless and untrue. I also believe the second to be untrue, and I will discuss why. The last is tied to the second, and that is where the issue arises and where we can seriously do with making an effort to improve. But let's start with "bullying."
Let's be honest: our missions, if they are ever read by the writers whose stories we spork, will hurt their feelings. Being told you're wrong is unpleasant. Being told you did something poorly is unpleasant. Being laughed at is unpleasant. They will feel hurt, angry, and possibly even ashamed. If you are not okay with that, then you'd better hand in your flash patch and find another hobby, because continuing to PPC will only end up making you feel bad about yourself. However, if you feel as I do, that any critique at all will produce those same feelings, with the same intensity, in writers who aren't used to the idea, then stick around.
A bully in the classic schoolyard sense is someone who preys on the weakness of others because-and this "because" is important-they are afraid to confront anyone of equal or greater strength. Bullies, by nature, are cowards who take satisfaction in making others feel afraid. That is not us. If you DO take pleasure in making other writers feel unpleasant for the sake of unpleasantness, get out right now. This community wants no part of you. We are not 4chan; we are not Anon; we do not actually "police" any part of the Internet. To quote JulyFlame: "if anyone here is here just so they can troll and flame people because they think that's what the PPC does, they're totally in the wrong place and don't belong here at all."
We are not bullies. You can't bully someone behind their back, for a start. You can't bully someone without actually intending to provoke a reaction from them. You can't be a bully if you're not afraid of getting a taste of your own medicine.
That's what just happened to us, guys. Boosette and friends called us on one thing we ARE doing wrong. We got critiqued, and we didn't like it much. We got angry, and in a knee-jerk response, we protested. That's a natural reaction, as I've said, and it's okay. But now that we've done that, we're going to do the thing we expect others to do: we're going to suck it up, learn from the experience, and do our best to improve the situation.
The thing we're doing wrong is not practicing what we preach in a couple of ways: one, in not taking the time to give constructive criticism, and two, in letting our frustration with bad writing translate into negative comments about fanwriters. To begin with the first issue, I know that some of us like to and often do give constructive criticism, but I think a lot of us, myself included, are often afraid of the possibility of confrontation that concrit can bring, and so we cringe away from it, even among ourselves. Honestly, how many of you feel you have to preface your comments with "I'm not an expert, but," or "this is just me, but," or "I'm not a Permission Giver, but"? How many of you don't say anything at all, even when you have an opinion about something? That's fear. But none of us should be afraid. On the Board especially, we all ought to feel safe in speaking our minds, because as Vixenmage reminded us down in the other thread, we have rules about treating others with respect and dignity, even if we don't agree with them. Take another look at the Board Constitution when you're done here. Read it carefully. Keep it in mind.
The second issue, the one of negative remarks about writers, is the one that most seriously bothered some of us down in the other thread, myself (and Barid by extension), Sedri, Wide Eyed Idealist, Miah, Italian for Grandma, Artell, and JulyFlame being just the ones I can spot at a glance. Sometimes we get frustrated, and our frustration translates into comments like "stupid Suethor," and "how can anyone be this idiotic?" and "they don't deserve to hold a pencil," and "can't we hunt down the author, please?" And sometimes worse than that. Whether it happens in missions, on the wiki, or here on the Board, those kinds of remarks are not okay. Bad writing does not equal stupidity. It is sometimes hard to understand-I know, it took me forever to learn and truly understand this-but some people simply don't have a knack for it like some of us have. Grammar, or dialogue, or narrative don't come naturally to everyone, just like math or drawing doesn't come naturally to everyone. That doesn't make them stupid, and it doesn't make them an acceptable target for personal remarks.
I propose now that we leave aside what we are not and focus on what we are, and what we can do better. Here's what we are: a group of people who, in the privacy of our own corner of the Internet, enjoy having a laugh at the expense of bad writing. We're not the first to do this, nor will we be the last. I'm told the Inklings, that collection of geniuses such as J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis, enjoyed a similar past-time amongst themselves with printed works. And let me put this to you: why is the show American Idol so successful? Some of it is good performances, sure-but the rest of it is all about having a good laugh at the ones that didn't go so well and, central to my point, Simon Cowell. The contestants on the show don't always like hearing what Simon has to say, because he is well-known for being blunt and acerbic, but he doesn't insult anyone personally, he is almost always right, and if they listen to him, they go far. He wants them to succeed in spite of him. And the audience loves it, not because they hate the performers and think they deserve abuse, but because they, too want to see the contestants succeed in spite of everything, and because it's refreshing to hear someone speak plainly for once, and because it is funny. Humor at its best is always based in the truth. That's what makes PPC stories work. They tell the truth about bad writing in a blunt, acerbic, witty manner. That's what we do. We are the Simon Cowell of fanfic.
Now, let's do that without the personal remarks, and let's see if we can help some people succeed, too. I have two challenges for you: one, go through your PPC stories and the wiki and remove as many instances of author-bashing as you can, however innocuous you think they are, even if they are really in-character for your agent. Change them to "stupid Sue," or "how does that passage make sense?" or "that is the most disgusting piece of squick I have ever seen." If there's ambiguity, clear it up. You'll think of something. Remember, it's the bad writing we revile, not our fellow human beings.
Two, go give someone a constructive review. If they turn around and flame you, just remember that it's natural to not like hearing you've done poorly, and hope they'll remember what you said and think about it later, when they've calmed down. If they actually listen to you, or if they do indeed come around later, great! You've helped someone improve! And if you're afraid of them finding a mission to their stories, don't forget that you can always give a review anonymously. We CAN have our cake and eat it, too. Just ask July. I know she's working with a fanwriter right now, and having a good time, too.
In conclusion, I want to remind everyone that all our rules about not making personal remarks and treating everyone with respect, even if we don't agree with them, apply everywhere: in missions, on the Board, in the wiki, and in the chat. I want to remind everyone that we were founded by a group of good, intelligent, interesting people, and we should live up to their standard everywhere we go. We're not misogynists. We're not bullies. We're just here to have a good time and yes, even help people, too. We ought to defend to the death anyone's right to write a Mary-Sue, or whatever their personal fantasy might be-just as we'll defend to the death our right to critique it and even to make fun of it if it's poorly written.
Thank you for your time.
~Neshomeh
Also, I would like to make it clear that this particular post isn't about the "'Mary-Sue' is a misogynist term" issue. For the record, though: after a period of intense thought, my personal feeling is still that it makes more sense to change a word's meaning with education over time than to try to change how a thing is perceived by changing what it is called. Therefore, I'll keep on saying "Mary-Sue" on the understanding that it applies only to fanfiction characters and that its gender is a byproduct of Internet demographics rather than a deliberate slur on women. For me, "Mary-Sue" goes on the same list as "Don't say 'gay' unless you mean 'homosexual'." I'm not prepared to change my mind at this time, so please respect my right to my own point of view. Thank you. (April 29, 2010)
First, background. Unless you have been under a rock busy with other things this past week, you probably know that someone called Boosette wrote a discourse concerning the evils of sporking Mary-Sues, and you probably also know that there has been some serious reaction from our side. We pretty unanimously agree that Boosette got most of the facts about us wrong and doesn't really understand our point of view. However, I hope you also noticed that several of us feel that she raised a valid issue with what we're doing, and that is what I'd like to talk about in this thread.
Boosette accused us of three serious things: being misogynists, being bullies, and not practicing what we preach about improving the fandom(s). The first we have already discussed and dismissed; it is baseless and untrue. I also believe the second to be untrue, and I will discuss why. The last is tied to the second, and that is where the issue arises and where we can seriously do with making an effort to improve. But let's start with "bullying."
Let's be honest: our missions, if they are ever read by the writers whose stories we spork, will hurt their feelings. Being told you're wrong is unpleasant. Being told you did something poorly is unpleasant. Being laughed at is unpleasant. They will feel hurt, angry, and possibly even ashamed. If you are not okay with that, then you'd better hand in your flash patch and find another hobby, because continuing to PPC will only end up making you feel bad about yourself. However, if you feel as I do, that any critique at all will produce those same feelings, with the same intensity, in writers who aren't used to the idea, then stick around.
A bully in the classic schoolyard sense is someone who preys on the weakness of others because-and this "because" is important-they are afraid to confront anyone of equal or greater strength. Bullies, by nature, are cowards who take satisfaction in making others feel afraid. That is not us. If you DO take pleasure in making other writers feel unpleasant for the sake of unpleasantness, get out right now. This community wants no part of you. We are not 4chan; we are not Anon; we do not actually "police" any part of the Internet. To quote JulyFlame: "if anyone here is here just so they can troll and flame people because they think that's what the PPC does, they're totally in the wrong place and don't belong here at all."
We are not bullies. You can't bully someone behind their back, for a start. You can't bully someone without actually intending to provoke a reaction from them. You can't be a bully if you're not afraid of getting a taste of your own medicine.
That's what just happened to us, guys. Boosette and friends called us on one thing we ARE doing wrong. We got critiqued, and we didn't like it much. We got angry, and in a knee-jerk response, we protested. That's a natural reaction, as I've said, and it's okay. But now that we've done that, we're going to do the thing we expect others to do: we're going to suck it up, learn from the experience, and do our best to improve the situation.
The thing we're doing wrong is not practicing what we preach in a couple of ways: one, in not taking the time to give constructive criticism, and two, in letting our frustration with bad writing translate into negative comments about fanwriters. To begin with the first issue, I know that some of us like to and often do give constructive criticism, but I think a lot of us, myself included, are often afraid of the possibility of confrontation that concrit can bring, and so we cringe away from it, even among ourselves. Honestly, how many of you feel you have to preface your comments with "I'm not an expert, but," or "this is just me, but," or "I'm not a Permission Giver, but"? How many of you don't say anything at all, even when you have an opinion about something? That's fear. But none of us should be afraid. On the Board especially, we all ought to feel safe in speaking our minds, because as Vixenmage reminded us down in the other thread, we have rules about treating others with respect and dignity, even if we don't agree with them. Take another look at the Board Constitution when you're done here. Read it carefully. Keep it in mind.
The second issue, the one of negative remarks about writers, is the one that most seriously bothered some of us down in the other thread, myself (and Barid by extension), Sedri, Wide Eyed Idealist, Miah, Italian for Grandma, Artell, and JulyFlame being just the ones I can spot at a glance. Sometimes we get frustrated, and our frustration translates into comments like "stupid Suethor," and "how can anyone be this idiotic?" and "they don't deserve to hold a pencil," and "can't we hunt down the author, please?" And sometimes worse than that. Whether it happens in missions, on the wiki, or here on the Board, those kinds of remarks are not okay. Bad writing does not equal stupidity. It is sometimes hard to understand-I know, it took me forever to learn and truly understand this-but some people simply don't have a knack for it like some of us have. Grammar, or dialogue, or narrative don't come naturally to everyone, just like math or drawing doesn't come naturally to everyone. That doesn't make them stupid, and it doesn't make them an acceptable target for personal remarks.
I propose now that we leave aside what we are not and focus on what we are, and what we can do better. Here's what we are: a group of people who, in the privacy of our own corner of the Internet, enjoy having a laugh at the expense of bad writing. We're not the first to do this, nor will we be the last. I'm told the Inklings, that collection of geniuses such as J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis, enjoyed a similar past-time amongst themselves with printed works. And let me put this to you: why is the show American Idol so successful? Some of it is good performances, sure-but the rest of it is all about having a good laugh at the ones that didn't go so well and, central to my point, Simon Cowell. The contestants on the show don't always like hearing what Simon has to say, because he is well-known for being blunt and acerbic, but he doesn't insult anyone personally, he is almost always right, and if they listen to him, they go far. He wants them to succeed in spite of him. And the audience loves it, not because they hate the performers and think they deserve abuse, but because they, too want to see the contestants succeed in spite of everything, and because it's refreshing to hear someone speak plainly for once, and because it is funny. Humor at its best is always based in the truth. That's what makes PPC stories work. They tell the truth about bad writing in a blunt, acerbic, witty manner. That's what we do. We are the Simon Cowell of fanfic.
Now, let's do that without the personal remarks, and let's see if we can help some people succeed, too. I have two challenges for you: one, go through your PPC stories and the wiki and remove as many instances of author-bashing as you can, however innocuous you think they are, even if they are really in-character for your agent. Change them to "stupid Sue," or "how does that passage make sense?" or "that is the most disgusting piece of squick I have ever seen." If there's ambiguity, clear it up. You'll think of something. Remember, it's the bad writing we revile, not our fellow human beings.
Two, go give someone a constructive review. If they turn around and flame you, just remember that it's natural to not like hearing you've done poorly, and hope they'll remember what you said and think about it later, when they've calmed down. If they actually listen to you, or if they do indeed come around later, great! You've helped someone improve! And if you're afraid of them finding a mission to their stories, don't forget that you can always give a review anonymously. We CAN have our cake and eat it, too. Just ask July. I know she's working with a fanwriter right now, and having a good time, too.
In conclusion, I want to remind everyone that all our rules about not making personal remarks and treating everyone with respect, even if we don't agree with them, apply everywhere: in missions, on the Board, in the wiki, and in the chat. I want to remind everyone that we were founded by a group of good, intelligent, interesting people, and we should live up to their standard everywhere we go. We're not misogynists. We're not bullies. We're just here to have a good time and yes, even help people, too. We ought to defend to the death anyone's right to write a Mary-Sue, or whatever their personal fantasy might be-just as we'll defend to the death our right to critique it and even to make fun of it if it's poorly written.
Thank you for your time.
~Neshomeh