Seven Days - part seven
Title: Seven Days
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss.
Summary: The passanger dorms need to be fumigated, so with that comes some reorganising of bunks. Post OIS Pre BDM, Book and Inara have left but Inara will be coming back.
DAY SEVEN
Mal woke up feeling a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Completely satisfied. He reached his arm over to feel for Jayne, but he wasn’t there. Slowly he opened his eyes to see where the big man was. He wasn’t in the bunk. Instead there was a note addressed to Mal sitting atop Jayne’s pillow.
‘Malcolm,
I have chores to do and I didn’t have the heart to wake you after you passed out on me last night. Hope you’re not too tired or sore. Come find me when once you’re up.
Jayne x’
Mal stared at the letter with confusion. Huh… that was just plain weird. First with the grammar and spelling. Mal had never received a personal letter from Jayne but he had seen him write before, and his grammar had never been this good. Must be the teacher thing that Mal really had to talk to him about, since he never actually got the chance last night. Then there was the whole Jayne calling him ‘Malcolm’ which he only did if he was taking the piss. Actually re-reading it, it did kinda sound like he was poking fun at the fact that Mal passed out. What did he expect? He had just spent all day coming, then he had just fucked Jayne, so when Jayne fucked him and gave him four… no wait five (it was the fifth he had passed out on) more earth shattering orgasms he was bound to pass out.
Mal sat for a moment to remember just what Jayne had done to him. Jayne had been firm but gentle with him as he fucked him at first. Mal had been lying underneath him and was able to stare up into those big blue eyes. He could see the lust and passion that lay just beneath the surface, and there was a gentleness there too that Jayne only showed in moments like this as he … actually fucked was to course a word for it… made love to him? Anyway whatever he was doing, the emotions coming from Jayne through his touch and his kisses as well as his thrusting drove Mal crazy.
It wasn’t long before he was screaming his orgasm once again, and this time Jayne joined him. Only Jayne didn’t stop his thrusting. He kept moving and Mal could feel the half limp cock inside him get hard again. Jayne did this to Mal over and over. Coming with him and getting himself hard again within seconds. It was during the fifth time, when Jayne had pulled a limp, sweaty and very worn out Mal up onto his lap that Mal could really feel the strength of Jayne’s emotions. It had been really slow this time, each of them almost completely worn out from their previous activities. There kissing was sloppy, yet full of desire and the look in Jayne’s eyes when Mal came that last time. Mal knew that if he had died then, he would have died the happiest man in the ‘Verse.
He had never had a lover like Jayne before. They had technically had sex six times in one night. And that wasn’t counting everything they had done the previous morning. There was no way he was letting this man go now that he had found him. And by looking at the ‘x’ Jayne had finished his letter with, maybe Jayne felt the same.
Smiling to himself, Mal begun to stand so as to go for a shower. He immediately regretted it when he felt the burning pain in his behind. Bracing himself against the wall he noticed that Jayne had left the jar of his Momma’s muscle ointment sitting by the shower. It wasn’t the best pain killer, but it would do until he could steal a smoother from the infirmary.
Slowly he managed to get himself showered and dressed. Taking extra care when putting the ointment on. He had to admit though, it weren’t just his ass that was sore. His whole body ached. He must have been using a whole bunch of muscles last night that he hadn’t used in a long time. As he dressed, he decided to wear his old denims again. Jayne had liked them and actually they were a hell of a lot more comfortable than his work pants. Maybe he would buy himself a few more pairs like these once he got some money together.
Stumbling up the ladder he looked towards the bridge. No Wash. Ship must be on autopilot. He walked through the galley, no one there either. As he exited the galley he could hear a strange noise coming from the common area. As he got to the bottom of the stairs he was greeted with the site of his entire crew (Inara included) vacuuming and cleaning out the passenger dorms.
“What’s goin on?” he asked no one in particular.
“Oh, hey Cap’n,” Kaylee yelled over the hum of the industrial vacuums Jayne and Wash were using. They were turned off immediately when they realised Mal was there.
“We were just getting rid of all the dead bugs Sir,” Zoe said from her position behind piled up mattresses.
“Oh, so it worked then?”
Jayne snorted but everyone ignored him as Simon answered. “Better than expected actually. When we came in there were dead bugs everywhere. It was rather repulsive.”
“You’re only saying that because there was a pile of them all over your mattress.” River commented, rolling her eyes at Simon’s shudder.
“Right, well you need an extra hand?”
“Actually, we’re nearly finished. Been at it since breakfast this morning,” Zoe informed him.
“Wait, what time is it?” Mal asked them.
“Just past 12:30 Sir.”
“Oh, sorry. Ya’ll should’ve woke me.”
“Jayne asked us to leave you be.”
“Really?” Mal could see Jayne try to hide himself amongst the disarray of bunk bits, “Well if you’re nearly done, mind if I borrow him?”
“Sure, he’s only getting in the way anyhow,” Wash smiled at him. Jayne punched him on the arm as he walked past.
“Is everything okay Cap’n?” Kaylee asked.
“Sure mei mei, Why’d you ask?”
“Is just that you’re walking a bit funny is all,” she smiled.
Mal turned bright red and the rest of the crew tried their best to hide their giggles to no avail. However, Jayne quickly gave them a dirty look that shut them up and took Mal by the hand and led him towards the couch in front of the med bay.
“You okay Mal?” Jayne asked as they sat down.
“Yeah I’m fine. Just a bit raw is all.”
“You want a smoother?”
“Nah, it’s getting less painful as we speak,” Jayne smiled at him and Mal pulled him into a soft kiss, “So teacher huh?”
“Uh, yeah,” Once again Jayne looked embarrassed. He pulled away slightly from Mal and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Don’t you need to graduate high school to do that?” Jayne nodded, “And go to university?”
“Yup. I did both,” Jayne answered, looking back up at Mal, “In fact, I still ain’t paid off my study fees for University yet. But that’s cause the University was blown up by the alliance…”
“Why didn’t you say nothin before? In fact I seem to remember you sayin that ‘if you wanted schoolin, you would’ve went to school’.”
Jayne slumped back against the couch, “C’mon Mal. You know as well as I do that Captains don’t like to hire someone that might be smarter than them.”
Mal just stared at him blankly. It was true what Jayne was saying. One of the reasons Mal had hired him was because he thought he was dumb and would follow orders without question.
“I mean, I’m a trained killer Mal. Being smart on top of that makes me a hell of a lot more dangerous to a person’s body than your average mercenary.”
“I suppose when you put it like that…,” Mal conceded, “So what exactly did you teach?”
“High School Spanish. I also know some other languages but they’re more or less dead languages so weren’t taught.”
“Spanish is almost a dead language.”
“It is now, but it weren’t back then when I was teaching it.”
“So what other languages do you speak?”
“Well there’s Japanese, that’s how I knew that the Hikari brothers were gonna shoot Zoe that time,” Mal just nodded, he was trying to hide his amazement at the fact that Jayne was incredibly intelligent and had hidden it all this time, “Then there’s Latin, Italian and French,” Jayne paused to gauge Mal’s reaction before carrying on. He could see he was looking for further explanation,
“Latin was the difficult one, but once you know that then Spanish, Italian, French and even English is easy cause they’re all derived from Latin. Japanese I learned for fun.”
“You speak Latin?” Mal asked in astonishment.
“Yeah why?” Jayne looked at him in slight confusion.
“Um… no reason,” Mal couldn’t believe it. The only person he had ever met who could speak Latin was River and she only knew some parts that she had taught herself. But even the words Jayne was using … ‘derived’? Where the hell did that come from?
“So… you um, you said you worked with Andrew. What did he teach?”
The smile that had been sitting on Jayne’s face fell almost straight away. He managed to compose himself though. Mal was just showing an interest in him and his life, he shouldn’t get so upset about it.
“Physics,” Jayne said looking at his hands, “He was a physics teacher.”
Mal didn’t know what to do. He shouldn’t have asked that. Now Jayne was visibly upset. So he did the only thing he could think of. He tilted Jayne’s head up and kissed him softly on the mouth before smiling at him. It worked, Mal’s goofy grin managed to soften Jayne up some.
“I just can’t believe you managed to hide it all this time,” He smiled at him as he played with the fuzz of hair at the nape of Jayne’s neck, “I mean, what about all those times you asked ridiculously stupid questions or when you read one of your Ma’s letters. You always sound like you’re struggling to read it when you do.”
“You ever seen one of my Ma’s letters?”
“No.”
“She writes in Latin. She used to teach languages too and always insists on writing to me in Latin.”
“I thought you said you could speak Latin.”
“I can. I just ain’t that good at reading it is all, and my Ma has made it her life’s goal to make sure I can read it. But it’s hard. It’s all desparatus complicated quod inflatus grammar,” Jayne waved his hands in the air for emphasis.
Mal just stared at him with his mouth opened before finally saying, “I have no idea what you just said… say something else! In one of the other languages. French or Italian.”
He was practically bouncing on his seat now. Jayne started laughing at his excitement so was unable to utter a single foreign word before Kaylee bounded up to them.
“What’s so funny?” She asked, smiling at them. She thought they were just too cute and was so excited that they had finally got together. Personally she thought it would have happened more or less as soon as Jayne had come aboard, but that’s the Cap’n for you. Always the slow poke.
“Ain’t nothin Kaylee. Just Mal acting like a five year old,” Jayne said as he managed to stop laughing.
“I was not, I was just excited to learn somethin new about my … what are you and me anyways?”
Jayne shrugged, “What ever you want Mal. I ain’t in a rush to put a label on us if you ain’t,”
“Right well, anyways I just came over to tell you that Inara is doing some lunch for us all if you wanna come upstairs,” Kaylee interrupted before turning tail and skipping up the stairs.
“Suppose we should go. You not havin had breakfast or anythin,” Jayne said as he stood and helped Mal stand up.
~*~*~*~*~*~
All of the crew bar Mal and Jayne were sitting at the table for lunch so they all heard the couple bickering as they made they’re way up the stairs. They should really know by now not to have private conversations in the corridors as the sound carries particularly well…
“I don’t gotta tell them nothin Mal.”
“Well you can’t keep actin like that. I won’t be able to keep a straight face. And they’re all bound to ask questions when they do notice you actin differently.”
“Yeah well, maybe they’ll put it down to me getting some regular sexin.”
“Jayne you…” Mal stopped short in the corridor when he seen the whole crew facing the door he and Jayne were just about to walk through. Jayne nearly crashed into him as he had stopped so abruptly.
“What the hell Mal?” Jayne began as he went to push past the captain, but quickly realised why Mal had stopped short. They had been heard. And now the whole crew would be wondering what his big secret was.
“Fine Mal, Les diré, si usted les dice sobre su Momia,” Jayne said angrily as he took his seat at the table.
“Usted va primero,” Mal answered back as he too took his seat at the table.
“Por qué tengo que ir primero? Usted es el capitán.” Jayne insisted
“Ése es exactamente por qué,” Mal said, ignoring the fact that the whole crew were staring at them, mouths hanging open.
Jayne pouted a bit before coming back with, “Mine’ll take longer. All you gotta say is one tiny sentence.”
Mal sighed, knowing that Jayne was once again right. His would take longer as the crew wouldn’t believe him. “Ok, you win,” Mal turned to the crew, “I’m part Spanish, from my mother’s side.”
The crew didn’t say anything. Just stared at him in shock. Mal’s reasons for hiding his ancestry were understandable.
When the people of Earth That Was first started to colonise the different planets and moons in the new ‘Verse, the Westerners and Chinese had taken the core planets. That’s because they were a hell of a lot richer than the rest of the world… the rest of the world being the poor sods who were left to make do out on the rim. And the majority of them had been Spanish. In fact there were more Spanish than there had been westerners/Chinese and that’s the real reason the War started. The Alliance was trying to control the Spanish and the Spanish wouldn’t allow it. It meant that now the Spanish were hated on both sides as they were seen as the cause.
“Why did you never say anything before Sir?” Zoe asked, a slightly hurt look on her face.
“Honestly? It never came up. And I never knew how to bring it up.”
“But you told Jayne?” Inara said
“Actually no. Apparently I talk in my sleep… In Spanish.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t explain how Jayne can speak Spanish,” Simon interrupted.
“Actually, on top of English, Chinese and Spanish, I speak four more languages.” Jayne told them nonchantly.
“And one of them is Latin,” Mal said excitedly. Jayne rolled his eyes.
“Hold on, we’re gonna need somethin if I’m gonna explain this proper,” he said as he got up from the table and disappeared into Mal’s bunk only to emerge moments later with a small locked box. Once back at the table, he unlocked the box and pulled out two rolled up pieces of paper before handing them to Mal. One was his High School Diploma and the other was the certificate for his degree in teaching.
Simon’s jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw them. Wash started sputtering nonsense and shaking his head. But the women didn’t look surprised at all. Maybe they were just good at hiding it. Mal and Jayne both knew that Inara must be hiding her shock at least.
“You were a teacher?” Simon finally managed to get out.
“Yup, for eight years and I loved it.”
“Why did you leave then?” Kaylee asked.
“Well that’s kinda complicated. But the short version is that our planet had surrendered to the Alliance and they then decided that every able bodied person should sign up for war. I was against the War but didn’t want to go to prison for refusing to fight… so I ran.”
“Well why didn’t you ever go back to it?”
“Curriculum has changed,” he shrugged but noting that they were all surprised at his use of the word ‘curriculum’, “I taught Spanish. They don’t teach it no more. Just like they don’t teach any of the other languages I know… except English and Chinese. But I have no passion for those. Everybody knows them. You ain’t teaching anything new.”
Most of the crew was completely gob smacked. Jayne was speaking with a level of intelligence that he had never shown before.
“What d’ya know, Jayne’s intelligent,” Zoe said with a smile.
“Actually, it’s Steven according to these certificates,” Wash pointed out. Finally getting his voice back.
“Yeah well, that’s an even longer story. But ain’t no one calls me Steven, not even my Ma,” he gave them all a look that told them he would be extremely upset if they called him Steven, even if it was just for fun, “And just so you know Zoe, I have an IQ of 174.”
Simon spat out the sip of water he had just taken. He began choking or maybe it was hyperventilating or a mixture of both. Anyway, Kaylee had thrown his head between his knees and was rubbing his back to try and calm him. River however was howling with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Mal asked her.
Finally managing to control her laughter she answered him, “Simon’s IQ is only 172.”
Jayne joined in with her laughter. Now that was funny.
“Only? It’s still helluva high,” Mal pointed out. “I don’t even know what my IQ is… if I even have any.”
“Ooh, I can test you if you want?” River said excitedly
“Um sure, why not.”
Simon had finally calmed down enough to sit up straight, but he was still a funny colour. It of course didn’t help any when River turned to ask Jayne if he would tutor her in Latin.
“Sure, I’ll write to my Ma, get her to send some of her books. Maybe you could even take up correspondence with her to help you with the written part of it.”
“Oh I would like that very much,” River beamed up at him.
“I think I need to go lie down for a while,” Simon said as he shakily stood and headed for his/Jayne’s bunk.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne was doing the late shift on the bridge which left Mal free to do … well whatever he found to occupy his time. He had been sitting upon the bridge with Jayne but Wash was up there updating their Alliance patrol record. Apparently he had received a bulletin from his friend Mr Universe about it and it was really quite boring. So Mal went in search of something to entertain himself with. Simon had pretty much stayed in his bed all day. Which was a good thing, because it meant Mal didn’t have to answer awkward questions when he went to the infirmary for a smoother.
As he went through the galley, none of the women folk were to be seen, which was strange as it wasn’t that late. Surely Kaylee at least would be up tinkering with the engine, but no. She weren’t there. So Mal decided to go talk to Inara. At least she would always be in her shuttle, doing companiony things. He wanted to ask her something anyway and it was rather personal, so didn’t need the rest of the crew there.
Once at Inara’s shuttle, Mal waltzed straight in without knocking. Just like he usually did. So it was really his own fault that he was caught by surprise.
“Hey ‘Nara, was wondering if you could help me… Wŏ de tiān a!” he stopped short at the sight in front of him.
Sitting on or around Inara’s bed were the four women of the ship (yes even Zoe) and they looked like they were doing each other’s hair and painting each other’s nails and such.
“Yes Mal? What can I do for you?” Inara said, not even looking up from the braid she was putting in River’s hair.
“I uh… you know what your busy. I can come back later,” He about turned and had almost made it out the door when Kaylee grabbed him and pulled him back.
“Don’t be so shy Cap’n. We’re all family here. Ain’t nothin you can’t say in front of us.” She said as she shut the shuttle door and led him to the sofa.
“Be that as it may…”
“Oh c’mon Sir. Ain’t like we’re gonna paint your nails or put make up on you,” Zoe quipped at him.
Mal ignored her and tried his hardest to ignore the look of hope that crossed Kaylee’s and River’s faces at that statement. “Well I just…” he began.
“Is it somethin to with Jayne?” Inara interrupted.
“Kinda,” Inara just looked at him urging him to explain, “Well it’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Mal, like Kaylee said. There is nothing you can’t tell us, and frankly I’m flattered that you would come to me for advice.”
Rubbing his face in his hands, Mal finally gave in. After all, he was quite curious about the subject he came to talk about.
“Okay, I was just wondering… you’ve been with a variety of guys right?”
“Yes,” she told him as Kaylee and Zoe also nodded.
“Well I was just wondering, what’s the most amount of times a guy that you’ve ever been with… well y’know, came in one night?” Mal was beetroot. He can’t believe he just asked that.
“Oh, I think the most for me has been three. Yes three,” Inara informed him.
“Three for me too,” Zoe said as she continued to paint Kaylee’s nails.
“Just twice for me,” Kaylee added.
“Never had the pleasure,” River said smiling to herself.
Mal groaned. That was an image he really didn’t want to think about. He was fast coming to think of River as a daughter like figure and … well it was just weird.
“So how many times?” Inara asked him.
“Me or Jayne?”
“Well I was meaning Jayne but if you feel comfortable enough to tell us about yourself,”
“Well… for me, it was six. And Jayne five,” He said looking anywhere but at the four women, “But it’s kinda complicated and I get the feeling that he woulda kept goin if I hadn’t passed out.”
“You passed out?” Kaylee gasped, “I ain’t never had an orgasm powerful enough to make me pass out!”
The other women agreed with her.
“Yeah well, you ain’t ever had a lover like Jayne then,” Mal smiled to himself, “I ain’t never had a lover like Jayne,” They were all silent for a moment as they contemplated this before Mal asked, “So it ain’t normal then? Five times I mean.”
“Well it may be normal for Jayne, but it’s certainly above average… but it also depends on exactly what he was doing. By what your saying, you climaxed more than him…”
“Yeah but that’s cause he stopped himself that first time…” Mal began. Noting the look of confusion on the girls faces he decided to swallow his pride and explain it a bit more.
“I did him first right,” he paused to make sure they knew what he was talking about, “That’s why I came that time and he didn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself. After, we fooled around for a bit but then he did me…”
“It sounds so romantic,” Zoe said jokingly.
“Well what you want me to say? It certainly weren’t fucking. Was way to gentle and emotional for that. And I don’t think we’re exactly at the stage to be calling it ‘making love’,” he scolded her. She just smiled and let him continue his story.
“Anyway, as I was saying, he then did me only… you ever had a guy come inside you but then he just keeps goin ‘til he’s hard again so’s to carry on?”
Inara shook her head as did Kaylee, but Zoe nodded, “Wash does it all the time. It’s what keeps me goin back for more,” she smiled. Her and Mal hadn’t had a conversation like this in years. Not since she had gotten together with Wash. It was a nice feeling to be doing it again, even if the other three were there too.
“Right well, he did that four times,” Everyone of the girl’s eyebrows shot up to their hairlines. “And it was during the fifth time that I passed out. Which really, if you combine it with the fact that he’s extremely talented and the biggest guy I’ve ever been with… you can’t really blame me.”
“How big?” Kaylee asked.
“What?”
“Exactly how big is he?”
“I can’t tell you that,” Mal was shocked. How could she ask something so personal?
“Oh c’mon Mal, of course we’re curious. You’ve just came in here and told us how great a lover Jayne is and that he’s extremely well endowed. It’s only natural that we ask for specifics.” Inara said as she went about making a fresh batch of tea.
“It is?”
“Of course it is Sir. That’s what girl talk is all about,” Zoe said with a smile. She was enjoying this way too much.
“Girl talk?… you tricked me!” He said standing up abruptly, “I came here for advice and ya’ll tricked me with your wiles,” And with that he was gone.
The women all burst into a fit of giggles that followed Mal all the way back up to the bridge where he sat and chatted about guns and ammo and spaceships and other manly things with Wash and Jayne while he waited for Jayne’s shift to finish. Which in hindsight wasn’t a very good idea as he was on an early next day, but hey, you win some, lose some.
THE END
CHINESE
Mei mei - little sister
Wŏ de tiān a - Oh my God!
LATIN
desparatus complicated quod inflatus grammar - overly complicated and pompous grammar
SPANISH
Les diré, si usted les dice sobre su Momia - I'll tell them, if you tell them about your mum
Usted va primero - you go first
Por qué tengo que ir primero? Usted es el capitán - Why do I have to go first? You’re the Captain
Ése es exactamente por qué - that is exactly why
Author: Ru_salki99
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss.
Summary: The passanger dorms need to be fumigated, so with that comes some reorganising of bunks. Post OIS Pre BDM, Book and Inara have left but Inara will be coming back.
DAY SEVEN
Mal woke up feeling a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Completely satisfied. He reached his arm over to feel for Jayne, but he wasn’t there. Slowly he opened his eyes to see where the big man was. He wasn’t in the bunk. Instead there was a note addressed to Mal sitting atop Jayne’s pillow.
‘Malcolm,
I have chores to do and I didn’t have the heart to wake you after you passed out on me last night. Hope you’re not too tired or sore. Come find me when once you’re up.
Jayne x’
Mal stared at the letter with confusion. Huh… that was just plain weird. First with the grammar and spelling. Mal had never received a personal letter from Jayne but he had seen him write before, and his grammar had never been this good. Must be the teacher thing that Mal really had to talk to him about, since he never actually got the chance last night. Then there was the whole Jayne calling him ‘Malcolm’ which he only did if he was taking the piss. Actually re-reading it, it did kinda sound like he was poking fun at the fact that Mal passed out. What did he expect? He had just spent all day coming, then he had just fucked Jayne, so when Jayne fucked him and gave him four… no wait five (it was the fifth he had passed out on) more earth shattering orgasms he was bound to pass out.
Mal sat for a moment to remember just what Jayne had done to him. Jayne had been firm but gentle with him as he fucked him at first. Mal had been lying underneath him and was able to stare up into those big blue eyes. He could see the lust and passion that lay just beneath the surface, and there was a gentleness there too that Jayne only showed in moments like this as he … actually fucked was to course a word for it… made love to him? Anyway whatever he was doing, the emotions coming from Jayne through his touch and his kisses as well as his thrusting drove Mal crazy.
It wasn’t long before he was screaming his orgasm once again, and this time Jayne joined him. Only Jayne didn’t stop his thrusting. He kept moving and Mal could feel the half limp cock inside him get hard again. Jayne did this to Mal over and over. Coming with him and getting himself hard again within seconds. It was during the fifth time, when Jayne had pulled a limp, sweaty and very worn out Mal up onto his lap that Mal could really feel the strength of Jayne’s emotions. It had been really slow this time, each of them almost completely worn out from their previous activities. There kissing was sloppy, yet full of desire and the look in Jayne’s eyes when Mal came that last time. Mal knew that if he had died then, he would have died the happiest man in the ‘Verse.
He had never had a lover like Jayne before. They had technically had sex six times in one night. And that wasn’t counting everything they had done the previous morning. There was no way he was letting this man go now that he had found him. And by looking at the ‘x’ Jayne had finished his letter with, maybe Jayne felt the same.
Smiling to himself, Mal begun to stand so as to go for a shower. He immediately regretted it when he felt the burning pain in his behind. Bracing himself against the wall he noticed that Jayne had left the jar of his Momma’s muscle ointment sitting by the shower. It wasn’t the best pain killer, but it would do until he could steal a smoother from the infirmary.
Slowly he managed to get himself showered and dressed. Taking extra care when putting the ointment on. He had to admit though, it weren’t just his ass that was sore. His whole body ached. He must have been using a whole bunch of muscles last night that he hadn’t used in a long time. As he dressed, he decided to wear his old denims again. Jayne had liked them and actually they were a hell of a lot more comfortable than his work pants. Maybe he would buy himself a few more pairs like these once he got some money together.
Stumbling up the ladder he looked towards the bridge. No Wash. Ship must be on autopilot. He walked through the galley, no one there either. As he exited the galley he could hear a strange noise coming from the common area. As he got to the bottom of the stairs he was greeted with the site of his entire crew (Inara included) vacuuming and cleaning out the passenger dorms.
“What’s goin on?” he asked no one in particular.
“Oh, hey Cap’n,” Kaylee yelled over the hum of the industrial vacuums Jayne and Wash were using. They were turned off immediately when they realised Mal was there.
“We were just getting rid of all the dead bugs Sir,” Zoe said from her position behind piled up mattresses.
“Oh, so it worked then?”
Jayne snorted but everyone ignored him as Simon answered. “Better than expected actually. When we came in there were dead bugs everywhere. It was rather repulsive.”
“You’re only saying that because there was a pile of them all over your mattress.” River commented, rolling her eyes at Simon’s shudder.
“Right, well you need an extra hand?”
“Actually, we’re nearly finished. Been at it since breakfast this morning,” Zoe informed him.
“Wait, what time is it?” Mal asked them.
“Just past 12:30 Sir.”
“Oh, sorry. Ya’ll should’ve woke me.”
“Jayne asked us to leave you be.”
“Really?” Mal could see Jayne try to hide himself amongst the disarray of bunk bits, “Well if you’re nearly done, mind if I borrow him?”
“Sure, he’s only getting in the way anyhow,” Wash smiled at him. Jayne punched him on the arm as he walked past.
“Is everything okay Cap’n?” Kaylee asked.
“Sure mei mei, Why’d you ask?”
“Is just that you’re walking a bit funny is all,” she smiled.
Mal turned bright red and the rest of the crew tried their best to hide their giggles to no avail. However, Jayne quickly gave them a dirty look that shut them up and took Mal by the hand and led him towards the couch in front of the med bay.
“You okay Mal?” Jayne asked as they sat down.
“Yeah I’m fine. Just a bit raw is all.”
“You want a smoother?”
“Nah, it’s getting less painful as we speak,” Jayne smiled at him and Mal pulled him into a soft kiss, “So teacher huh?”
“Uh, yeah,” Once again Jayne looked embarrassed. He pulled away slightly from Mal and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Don’t you need to graduate high school to do that?” Jayne nodded, “And go to university?”
“Yup. I did both,” Jayne answered, looking back up at Mal, “In fact, I still ain’t paid off my study fees for University yet. But that’s cause the University was blown up by the alliance…”
“Why didn’t you say nothin before? In fact I seem to remember you sayin that ‘if you wanted schoolin, you would’ve went to school’.”
Jayne slumped back against the couch, “C’mon Mal. You know as well as I do that Captains don’t like to hire someone that might be smarter than them.”
Mal just stared at him blankly. It was true what Jayne was saying. One of the reasons Mal had hired him was because he thought he was dumb and would follow orders without question.
“I mean, I’m a trained killer Mal. Being smart on top of that makes me a hell of a lot more dangerous to a person’s body than your average mercenary.”
“I suppose when you put it like that…,” Mal conceded, “So what exactly did you teach?”
“High School Spanish. I also know some other languages but they’re more or less dead languages so weren’t taught.”
“Spanish is almost a dead language.”
“It is now, but it weren’t back then when I was teaching it.”
“So what other languages do you speak?”
“Well there’s Japanese, that’s how I knew that the Hikari brothers were gonna shoot Zoe that time,” Mal just nodded, he was trying to hide his amazement at the fact that Jayne was incredibly intelligent and had hidden it all this time, “Then there’s Latin, Italian and French,” Jayne paused to gauge Mal’s reaction before carrying on. He could see he was looking for further explanation,
“Latin was the difficult one, but once you know that then Spanish, Italian, French and even English is easy cause they’re all derived from Latin. Japanese I learned for fun.”
“You speak Latin?” Mal asked in astonishment.
“Yeah why?” Jayne looked at him in slight confusion.
“Um… no reason,” Mal couldn’t believe it. The only person he had ever met who could speak Latin was River and she only knew some parts that she had taught herself. But even the words Jayne was using … ‘derived’? Where the hell did that come from?
“So… you um, you said you worked with Andrew. What did he teach?”
The smile that had been sitting on Jayne’s face fell almost straight away. He managed to compose himself though. Mal was just showing an interest in him and his life, he shouldn’t get so upset about it.
“Physics,” Jayne said looking at his hands, “He was a physics teacher.”
Mal didn’t know what to do. He shouldn’t have asked that. Now Jayne was visibly upset. So he did the only thing he could think of. He tilted Jayne’s head up and kissed him softly on the mouth before smiling at him. It worked, Mal’s goofy grin managed to soften Jayne up some.
“I just can’t believe you managed to hide it all this time,” He smiled at him as he played with the fuzz of hair at the nape of Jayne’s neck, “I mean, what about all those times you asked ridiculously stupid questions or when you read one of your Ma’s letters. You always sound like you’re struggling to read it when you do.”
“You ever seen one of my Ma’s letters?”
“No.”
“She writes in Latin. She used to teach languages too and always insists on writing to me in Latin.”
“I thought you said you could speak Latin.”
“I can. I just ain’t that good at reading it is all, and my Ma has made it her life’s goal to make sure I can read it. But it’s hard. It’s all desparatus complicated quod inflatus grammar,” Jayne waved his hands in the air for emphasis.
Mal just stared at him with his mouth opened before finally saying, “I have no idea what you just said… say something else! In one of the other languages. French or Italian.”
He was practically bouncing on his seat now. Jayne started laughing at his excitement so was unable to utter a single foreign word before Kaylee bounded up to them.
“What’s so funny?” She asked, smiling at them. She thought they were just too cute and was so excited that they had finally got together. Personally she thought it would have happened more or less as soon as Jayne had come aboard, but that’s the Cap’n for you. Always the slow poke.
“Ain’t nothin Kaylee. Just Mal acting like a five year old,” Jayne said as he managed to stop laughing.
“I was not, I was just excited to learn somethin new about my … what are you and me anyways?”
Jayne shrugged, “What ever you want Mal. I ain’t in a rush to put a label on us if you ain’t,”
“Right well, anyways I just came over to tell you that Inara is doing some lunch for us all if you wanna come upstairs,” Kaylee interrupted before turning tail and skipping up the stairs.
“Suppose we should go. You not havin had breakfast or anythin,” Jayne said as he stood and helped Mal stand up.
~*~*~*~*~*~
All of the crew bar Mal and Jayne were sitting at the table for lunch so they all heard the couple bickering as they made they’re way up the stairs. They should really know by now not to have private conversations in the corridors as the sound carries particularly well…
“I don’t gotta tell them nothin Mal.”
“Well you can’t keep actin like that. I won’t be able to keep a straight face. And they’re all bound to ask questions when they do notice you actin differently.”
“Yeah well, maybe they’ll put it down to me getting some regular sexin.”
“Jayne you…” Mal stopped short in the corridor when he seen the whole crew facing the door he and Jayne were just about to walk through. Jayne nearly crashed into him as he had stopped so abruptly.
“What the hell Mal?” Jayne began as he went to push past the captain, but quickly realised why Mal had stopped short. They had been heard. And now the whole crew would be wondering what his big secret was.
“Fine Mal, Les diré, si usted les dice sobre su Momia,” Jayne said angrily as he took his seat at the table.
“Usted va primero,” Mal answered back as he too took his seat at the table.
“Por qué tengo que ir primero? Usted es el capitán.” Jayne insisted
“Ése es exactamente por qué,” Mal said, ignoring the fact that the whole crew were staring at them, mouths hanging open.
Jayne pouted a bit before coming back with, “Mine’ll take longer. All you gotta say is one tiny sentence.”
Mal sighed, knowing that Jayne was once again right. His would take longer as the crew wouldn’t believe him. “Ok, you win,” Mal turned to the crew, “I’m part Spanish, from my mother’s side.”
The crew didn’t say anything. Just stared at him in shock. Mal’s reasons for hiding his ancestry were understandable.
When the people of Earth That Was first started to colonise the different planets and moons in the new ‘Verse, the Westerners and Chinese had taken the core planets. That’s because they were a hell of a lot richer than the rest of the world… the rest of the world being the poor sods who were left to make do out on the rim. And the majority of them had been Spanish. In fact there were more Spanish than there had been westerners/Chinese and that’s the real reason the War started. The Alliance was trying to control the Spanish and the Spanish wouldn’t allow it. It meant that now the Spanish were hated on both sides as they were seen as the cause.
“Why did you never say anything before Sir?” Zoe asked, a slightly hurt look on her face.
“Honestly? It never came up. And I never knew how to bring it up.”
“But you told Jayne?” Inara said
“Actually no. Apparently I talk in my sleep… In Spanish.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t explain how Jayne can speak Spanish,” Simon interrupted.
“Actually, on top of English, Chinese and Spanish, I speak four more languages.” Jayne told them nonchantly.
“And one of them is Latin,” Mal said excitedly. Jayne rolled his eyes.
“Hold on, we’re gonna need somethin if I’m gonna explain this proper,” he said as he got up from the table and disappeared into Mal’s bunk only to emerge moments later with a small locked box. Once back at the table, he unlocked the box and pulled out two rolled up pieces of paper before handing them to Mal. One was his High School Diploma and the other was the certificate for his degree in teaching.
Simon’s jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw them. Wash started sputtering nonsense and shaking his head. But the women didn’t look surprised at all. Maybe they were just good at hiding it. Mal and Jayne both knew that Inara must be hiding her shock at least.
“You were a teacher?” Simon finally managed to get out.
“Yup, for eight years and I loved it.”
“Why did you leave then?” Kaylee asked.
“Well that’s kinda complicated. But the short version is that our planet had surrendered to the Alliance and they then decided that every able bodied person should sign up for war. I was against the War but didn’t want to go to prison for refusing to fight… so I ran.”
“Well why didn’t you ever go back to it?”
“Curriculum has changed,” he shrugged but noting that they were all surprised at his use of the word ‘curriculum’, “I taught Spanish. They don’t teach it no more. Just like they don’t teach any of the other languages I know… except English and Chinese. But I have no passion for those. Everybody knows them. You ain’t teaching anything new.”
Most of the crew was completely gob smacked. Jayne was speaking with a level of intelligence that he had never shown before.
“What d’ya know, Jayne’s intelligent,” Zoe said with a smile.
“Actually, it’s Steven according to these certificates,” Wash pointed out. Finally getting his voice back.
“Yeah well, that’s an even longer story. But ain’t no one calls me Steven, not even my Ma,” he gave them all a look that told them he would be extremely upset if they called him Steven, even if it was just for fun, “And just so you know Zoe, I have an IQ of 174.”
Simon spat out the sip of water he had just taken. He began choking or maybe it was hyperventilating or a mixture of both. Anyway, Kaylee had thrown his head between his knees and was rubbing his back to try and calm him. River however was howling with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Mal asked her.
Finally managing to control her laughter she answered him, “Simon’s IQ is only 172.”
Jayne joined in with her laughter. Now that was funny.
“Only? It’s still helluva high,” Mal pointed out. “I don’t even know what my IQ is… if I even have any.”
“Ooh, I can test you if you want?” River said excitedly
“Um sure, why not.”
Simon had finally calmed down enough to sit up straight, but he was still a funny colour. It of course didn’t help any when River turned to ask Jayne if he would tutor her in Latin.
“Sure, I’ll write to my Ma, get her to send some of her books. Maybe you could even take up correspondence with her to help you with the written part of it.”
“Oh I would like that very much,” River beamed up at him.
“I think I need to go lie down for a while,” Simon said as he shakily stood and headed for his/Jayne’s bunk.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jayne was doing the late shift on the bridge which left Mal free to do … well whatever he found to occupy his time. He had been sitting upon the bridge with Jayne but Wash was up there updating their Alliance patrol record. Apparently he had received a bulletin from his friend Mr Universe about it and it was really quite boring. So Mal went in search of something to entertain himself with. Simon had pretty much stayed in his bed all day. Which was a good thing, because it meant Mal didn’t have to answer awkward questions when he went to the infirmary for a smoother.
As he went through the galley, none of the women folk were to be seen, which was strange as it wasn’t that late. Surely Kaylee at least would be up tinkering with the engine, but no. She weren’t there. So Mal decided to go talk to Inara. At least she would always be in her shuttle, doing companiony things. He wanted to ask her something anyway and it was rather personal, so didn’t need the rest of the crew there.
Once at Inara’s shuttle, Mal waltzed straight in without knocking. Just like he usually did. So it was really his own fault that he was caught by surprise.
“Hey ‘Nara, was wondering if you could help me… Wŏ de tiān a!” he stopped short at the sight in front of him.
Sitting on or around Inara’s bed were the four women of the ship (yes even Zoe) and they looked like they were doing each other’s hair and painting each other’s nails and such.
“Yes Mal? What can I do for you?” Inara said, not even looking up from the braid she was putting in River’s hair.
“I uh… you know what your busy. I can come back later,” He about turned and had almost made it out the door when Kaylee grabbed him and pulled him back.
“Don’t be so shy Cap’n. We’re all family here. Ain’t nothin you can’t say in front of us.” She said as she shut the shuttle door and led him to the sofa.
“Be that as it may…”
“Oh c’mon Sir. Ain’t like we’re gonna paint your nails or put make up on you,” Zoe quipped at him.
Mal ignored her and tried his hardest to ignore the look of hope that crossed Kaylee’s and River’s faces at that statement. “Well I just…” he began.
“Is it somethin to with Jayne?” Inara interrupted.
“Kinda,” Inara just looked at him urging him to explain, “Well it’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Mal, like Kaylee said. There is nothing you can’t tell us, and frankly I’m flattered that you would come to me for advice.”
Rubbing his face in his hands, Mal finally gave in. After all, he was quite curious about the subject he came to talk about.
“Okay, I was just wondering… you’ve been with a variety of guys right?”
“Yes,” she told him as Kaylee and Zoe also nodded.
“Well I was just wondering, what’s the most amount of times a guy that you’ve ever been with… well y’know, came in one night?” Mal was beetroot. He can’t believe he just asked that.
“Oh, I think the most for me has been three. Yes three,” Inara informed him.
“Three for me too,” Zoe said as she continued to paint Kaylee’s nails.
“Just twice for me,” Kaylee added.
“Never had the pleasure,” River said smiling to herself.
Mal groaned. That was an image he really didn’t want to think about. He was fast coming to think of River as a daughter like figure and … well it was just weird.
“So how many times?” Inara asked him.
“Me or Jayne?”
“Well I was meaning Jayne but if you feel comfortable enough to tell us about yourself,”
“Well… for me, it was six. And Jayne five,” He said looking anywhere but at the four women, “But it’s kinda complicated and I get the feeling that he woulda kept goin if I hadn’t passed out.”
“You passed out?” Kaylee gasped, “I ain’t never had an orgasm powerful enough to make me pass out!”
The other women agreed with her.
“Yeah well, you ain’t ever had a lover like Jayne then,” Mal smiled to himself, “I ain’t never had a lover like Jayne,” They were all silent for a moment as they contemplated this before Mal asked, “So it ain’t normal then? Five times I mean.”
“Well it may be normal for Jayne, but it’s certainly above average… but it also depends on exactly what he was doing. By what your saying, you climaxed more than him…”
“Yeah but that’s cause he stopped himself that first time…” Mal began. Noting the look of confusion on the girls faces he decided to swallow his pride and explain it a bit more.
“I did him first right,” he paused to make sure they knew what he was talking about, “That’s why I came that time and he didn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself. After, we fooled around for a bit but then he did me…”
“It sounds so romantic,” Zoe said jokingly.
“Well what you want me to say? It certainly weren’t fucking. Was way to gentle and emotional for that. And I don’t think we’re exactly at the stage to be calling it ‘making love’,” he scolded her. She just smiled and let him continue his story.
“Anyway, as I was saying, he then did me only… you ever had a guy come inside you but then he just keeps goin ‘til he’s hard again so’s to carry on?”
Inara shook her head as did Kaylee, but Zoe nodded, “Wash does it all the time. It’s what keeps me goin back for more,” she smiled. Her and Mal hadn’t had a conversation like this in years. Not since she had gotten together with Wash. It was a nice feeling to be doing it again, even if the other three were there too.
“Right well, he did that four times,” Everyone of the girl’s eyebrows shot up to their hairlines. “And it was during the fifth time that I passed out. Which really, if you combine it with the fact that he’s extremely talented and the biggest guy I’ve ever been with… you can’t really blame me.”
“How big?” Kaylee asked.
“What?”
“Exactly how big is he?”
“I can’t tell you that,” Mal was shocked. How could she ask something so personal?
“Oh c’mon Mal, of course we’re curious. You’ve just came in here and told us how great a lover Jayne is and that he’s extremely well endowed. It’s only natural that we ask for specifics.” Inara said as she went about making a fresh batch of tea.
“It is?”
“Of course it is Sir. That’s what girl talk is all about,” Zoe said with a smile. She was enjoying this way too much.
“Girl talk?… you tricked me!” He said standing up abruptly, “I came here for advice and ya’ll tricked me with your wiles,” And with that he was gone.
The women all burst into a fit of giggles that followed Mal all the way back up to the bridge where he sat and chatted about guns and ammo and spaceships and other manly things with Wash and Jayne while he waited for Jayne’s shift to finish. Which in hindsight wasn’t a very good idea as he was on an early next day, but hey, you win some, lose some.
THE END
CHINESE
Mei mei - little sister
Wŏ de tiān a - Oh my God!
LATIN
desparatus complicated quod inflatus grammar - overly complicated and pompous grammar
SPANISH
Les diré, si usted les dice sobre su Momia - I'll tell them, if you tell them about your mum
Usted va primero - you go first
Por qué tengo que ir primero? Usted es el capitán - Why do I have to go first? You’re the Captain
Ése es exactamente por qué - that is exactly why