(no subject)
GIRLY ANGST WITH EMO BOYZ AND GIRLZ AND MESSENGER BAGS AND BUBBLE TEA AND DOWNTOWN AND LOVE AND MAYBE KISSING.
CHAPTER ONE (not two, three, or four):
Once upon a time, there was this chick named Rain. She had three friends she hung out with, all of which were boyz. One was her best friend, Griffin. Travi was a flamboyant gay who dressed as a gangster, and Blade was a shy skater boy. They all got along great.
Until that fateful day when Rain met a boy. A boy named Robbyn. Robbyn was hot and emo and everything Rain wanted in a boy. And straight, which is always useful when pursuing a relationship.
It went down like this:
Rain was sitting, like every emo kid on a lazy Saturday, in a small café. She was reading Sylvia Plath, as usual. Her friends were out dancing at a gay club, something that Travi convinced the two straight boys to do.
In walked a boy that was like no one else. He was simply stunning. Magnificent. Marvelous. Entrancing. There was no adjective in the English language to describe him. He walked up to the counter and ordered a large coffee, looking around while they made it. His eyes landed on Rain, and he smiled. She pretty much turned into a puddle of happy goo right there. She closed her book, and set it down next to her pin-covered messenger bag. She walked over to the boy, and pointed awkwardly, saying, “You pretty.” He smiled, and asked her what her name was. She told him it was Rain, because that was her name. He said his was R-o-double b-y-n, but he just said it like “Robbyn”.
“Uh… Do you want a drink?” Robbyn asked, gesturing towards the counter.
Unfortunately, Rain already had a coffee.
“Already bought one… Do you want to see? Uh, it’s right there… It’s coffee! With sugar, except not real sugar. It’s like this substitute shit, Splenda. I like the taste, no one else really does, but it’s good. I just really like coffee; I come here a lot to drink it, because it’s good. I have like methods to making it, but I always use the sugar substitute shit Splenda because it always tasted more sugary to me. How do you take your coffee?”
“Black.”
“Like your men?”
“Exactly.”
“I like my men black too. I have this friend, Travi. He’s black. And! And, he’s reeeeeeally gay. I mean, really. Like ‘WHOA’. He dresses like a gangsta ‘cause he’s afraid his mom will find out, though, really, I don’t see how she cannot know. He’s just so… fruity. Like one of them fruit cakes. ‘Cause he’s sweet like that too… But also very fruity.”
“You talk a lot.”
“You know, there’s a rant behind that, but I’ll spare you. Want to go see my coffee and discuss Sylvia Plath poetry versus modern poetry and the media, true emo style?”
“Oh, totally.”
So off they went, back to her table, to discuss Sylvia Plath poetry vs. Modern Poetry and the media, very emo-ly, and they arranged to hook up another time by exchanging phone numbers. All in all it was a very nice experience, and she already was dreaming about what their babies would look like. They would be hot babies, hotter than their parents, and they would want to rape them, but wouldn’t, because they were the babies parents. So they would just love them and set them up on dates with hot girlz and boyz.
CHAPTER TWO (not one, three, or four):
So that was that. Rain was never sperate from Robbyn. I swear, they were glued together or something. It was almost weird. And Griffin, Travi, and Blade were jealous, because they missed Rain, because they were best friends.
The worst part was that Robbyn was really a dick. He was such a bitch to the rest of Rain’s friends in the few moments they were apart. For example, one day he got into a fight with Blade, because Blade said he missed Rain. Robbyn went BALLISTIC about how would some stupid gay skater boi know what Rain wanted, and what was good for Rain, and he hit Blade, and they got into a fight, he punched him, hard. And Blade punched back, and pretty soon it was a full blown scrap with Robbyn punching and Blade Bladeing with his fists. Rain came over during that fight, and got very angry with Blade for picking on poor emo Robbyn. Robbyn faked innocence and injury, sniffling pathetically about how mean Blade ganged up on him.
Rain had not seen Blade, Travi, or Griffin since.
The sad thing was, Rain could not see through Robbyn’s act. They rarely even talked about poetry anymore, or really anything, they just fucked like horny bunnies.
Blade and Griffin and Travi discussed this frequently, trying to find a way to make Rain realize that Robbyn was a very bad man. The thing was, there wasn’t really any good way to tell Rain. Not in a way where she’d really listen. So they decided blackmail was a good way. And they decided to tape one of their conversations with Robbyn, dragging the whole story of him being a dick out.
The next thing was to get Robbyn provoked. But how?
CHAPTER THREE (not one, two, or four):
“Hello Cherri, is Rain around?”
“SHURE THING HUNNY, UN MOMENTO”
“Hello?”
It was so great to hear Rain’s voice again that, for a moment, Griffin forgot the reasoning behind this sudden, unexpected call.
“Hello??”
“Uh, right. Hi. It’s Griffin.”
“Oh.”
He took a deep breath.
“So, the thing is, we want to see you again.”
“Me and Robbyn?”
“Well, yes. Both of you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. We all miss you and…”
“Yes?”
“We’re sorry… About the way we acted. It was foolish and… Mean. Very mean. I’m really sorry.”
Silence.
“Please?”
“…’Kay.”
CHAPTER FOUR (not one, two, or three):
A few hours later, they were all sitting in the GAY (God and You) Café they usually hung out at. Blade, Travi, and Griffin all exchanged shifty glances, while Robbyn and Rain appeared oblivious at the door.
“Okay, so, here’s the deal,” Blade said as they sat down. “We know what you’re really like, Robbyn. We don’t like you very much. Thankfully, Griffin is civilized and was willing to apologize for all of us. But I still don’t like you very much.”
“Blade!” Rain exclaimed. Robbyn looked smug. Blade shot Rain an apologetic look, and continued:
“We’ve tried a lot of times to make you realize that Robbyn isn’t the greatest crayon in the box. But you won’t see it. I dig, I wouldn’t either if I liked a guy…Girl, technically. But we all care about you, like, a lot, and Robbyn is fucking with you. Literally and figuratively. So if he won’t confess himself, we will confess for him. You have to the count of three Robbyn.
1…2…”
“Robbyn, what are they talking about?” Rain asked.
“I have no idea! They’re pinning all this stuff on me, I just don’t get it. Except for the fucking part, we do literally fuck. But I would never fuck with you, Rain…I love you.”
“Oh Robbyn, I love you too!”
“Bull…SHIT.” Blade shouted. “THREE. No confession? Okay, we’ll do it for you. Travi, tape” He snapped his fingers, and Travi handed him a tape player, obviously with a tape in it. Blade handed it to Griffin, and asked him to do the honors. Griffin smiled and pressed play.
Robbyn’s voice played out of the vintage tape recorder. Everyone got quiet, as they heard Robbyn begin to ramble drunkly about what he’d done. Cheating, lying, only liking Rain for her looks, using her.
“Okay, so, yeah. I did only get with her ‘cause she’s hot. I mean, really, have you looked at her body? She is HOT. And seeing her naked, man… I really don’t care that much for her in a conversation, though. She just goes ON AND ON AND ON. I cheat on her all the time. Have you ever met that one chick… Oh my god, what’s her name… Katie? Yeah, that’s it. I fuck her every Tuesday. So I just tell Rain I like her so I can fuck her, I mean, who cares if I’m lying if she doesn’t know?”
The tape stopped and turned to static.
Rain looked at Robbyn, who’s smug look was gone. She got up and ran outside, crying.
Blade got up, glared at Robbyn, and ran after her.
“Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I just wanted you to know the truth.”
Rain nodded her face in her hands. “I know, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. How could I fall for that?”
Blade awkwardly put his arm around her. “It’s okay, Rain. It happens to all of us, especially if you think you’re in love. It’s okay.”
Rain looked up at Blade. Blade looked down at Rain, blushing like a very ripe tomato being squeezed by an angry man. Only his guts weren’t exploding everywhere.
Then fireworks went off, because it was almost fourth of July, and they kissed. Which is pretty weirdly coincidental if you think about it.
Griffin and Travi walked outside, holding hands, to see how Rain was.
“Guess what? We’re, like, totally dating.” Travi said.
“Holy shit, Griffin’s gay?!?”
Griffin shrugged. “Oh, I didn’t tell you? I must have forgotten.”
And everyone lived pretty happily, including Robbyn because he got together with a very husky drag queen named Lashaniqua.
THE END <3