Phew, angry piece
All true shit, just a different way of saying some of it. Some of what's in here will be the first time you've heard. I am sorry to those of you who will learning this for the first time, cuz I know there's going to be few angry or hurt people. I'm sorry. No more secrets though. No. More.
Let's see here: I ghost-hunt,
goes against what I was taught as an Adventist
I support my alternative sexual liftstyle friends,
whoops! big time against what I taught
I'm a Witch now
uh-oh, looks like I'm going to hell
I have posed nude for pictures
aaahh...very liberating, I'm proud of my body
Hey look at me I'm the model daughter!
I've served tables and re-filled drinks, in places that only think
that they are a real restaurant, let alone a decent place to eat.
I've had white people and black people look down on me,
just because I handed food through a window to pay my bills.
I've screamed at the top of my lungs as I realized the man
I was fucking didn't want to take responsiblity for the child in my womb.
I've cried my rivers, as I felt that same child leave my body,
just a few short weeks later.
I've bent over backwards to make the man I thought I loved, love me
I've degraded myself, to make that bastard happy.
I've changed pieces of myself that I can't ever get back
With wounds that were started when I was just a child,
it seemed to make him happy to let him pour salt on them.
I've shaved my head several times, in defiance of the ideal you raised me to
I've kissed girls, and throughly enjoyed it, but couldn't sleep with them
though my heart wanted too, too many children have passed from my womb
I've talked to a person that I can't see, you taught me not to believe in such things
Oh gee I'm sorry, I know a lady shouldn't talk like this
Well, I ain't no lady. You used to beat the shit out of me, over dumb little things
You wouldn't stop dad, when he started swinging
then you went to start beating my little sister, and wondered why I broke the things
I did to get your attention away from her, so that she wouldn't bleed
You wondered why I moved from home when I did, why I didn't care
when you ignored me for six damn months, because I wasn't going
to live my life by your plans, because I had had it.
You told me I had it coming to me when I got HPV
Cuz I'd always been a whore in your eyes
Hell, I'm so sorry I didn't turn out to be the perfect daughter
Guess you should have thought of that when you were shoving
that hateful religious rhetoric down my damn throat
Even when I was ten I was telling you , that it wasn't right
I still stood my ground though when we'd fight, I paid for it
I've got no damn clue what lurks in the darkness of my mind
Hell, I could be a demon for all I care, you think i'm damned already
I'm my own woman, I'll do what I think is best for me
not doing this through your eyes anymore, these are my own
I've torn down as many walls as I can, ones I put up because you told me
I"ll never find anyone who will love me for me
I'll have to change to keep them pleased, well I tried your way
Now I'm tired and hurting, not as broken though as what I used to be
I doing this my way now
If I want to love someone, then I'm going to, I don't care if you don't approve
I ain't keeping secrets anymore, I'm taking off these masks
One at a damn time it seems, but that's the way it's going to have to be
Took years to make them, but that's all right, I'm used to myself being a fight
I've shot guns, I was always more violent than what you wanted me to be,
Damnit, I'm sorry, it's my primal right
I'll sleep with who I want
I will love whoever I want, regardless of their gender
I'm bi-curious, oh that's got to be a disappointment to you
I will think what I please
I will worship whatever and whoever I want however I want too
and if that means dancing naked underneath a full moon around a fire, then so be it
This is who I am, this is what I've become
It was what I was shaped to be by your hands and actions,
And I've done my best to do what I can
To change that
Aren't I such a model daughter?
Let's see here: I ghost-hunt,
goes against what I was taught as an Adventist
I support my alternative sexual liftstyle friends,
whoops! big time against what I taught
I'm a Witch now
uh-oh, looks like I'm going to hell
I have posed nude for pictures
aaahh...very liberating, I'm proud of my body
Hey look at me I'm the model daughter!
I've served tables and re-filled drinks, in places that only think
that they are a real restaurant, let alone a decent place to eat.
I've had white people and black people look down on me,
just because I handed food through a window to pay my bills.
I've screamed at the top of my lungs as I realized the man
I was fucking didn't want to take responsiblity for the child in my womb.
I've cried my rivers, as I felt that same child leave my body,
just a few short weeks later.
I've bent over backwards to make the man I thought I loved, love me
I've degraded myself, to make that bastard happy.
I've changed pieces of myself that I can't ever get back
With wounds that were started when I was just a child,
it seemed to make him happy to let him pour salt on them.
I've shaved my head several times, in defiance of the ideal you raised me to
I've kissed girls, and throughly enjoyed it, but couldn't sleep with them
though my heart wanted too, too many children have passed from my womb
I've talked to a person that I can't see, you taught me not to believe in such things
Oh gee I'm sorry, I know a lady shouldn't talk like this
Well, I ain't no lady. You used to beat the shit out of me, over dumb little things
You wouldn't stop dad, when he started swinging
then you went to start beating my little sister, and wondered why I broke the things
I did to get your attention away from her, so that she wouldn't bleed
You wondered why I moved from home when I did, why I didn't care
when you ignored me for six damn months, because I wasn't going
to live my life by your plans, because I had had it.
You told me I had it coming to me when I got HPV
Cuz I'd always been a whore in your eyes
Hell, I'm so sorry I didn't turn out to be the perfect daughter
Guess you should have thought of that when you were shoving
that hateful religious rhetoric down my damn throat
Even when I was ten I was telling you , that it wasn't right
I still stood my ground though when we'd fight, I paid for it
I've got no damn clue what lurks in the darkness of my mind
Hell, I could be a demon for all I care, you think i'm damned already
I'm my own woman, I'll do what I think is best for me
not doing this through your eyes anymore, these are my own
I've torn down as many walls as I can, ones I put up because you told me
I"ll never find anyone who will love me for me
I'll have to change to keep them pleased, well I tried your way
Now I'm tired and hurting, not as broken though as what I used to be
I doing this my way now
If I want to love someone, then I'm going to, I don't care if you don't approve
I ain't keeping secrets anymore, I'm taking off these masks
One at a damn time it seems, but that's the way it's going to have to be
Took years to make them, but that's all right, I'm used to myself being a fight
I've shot guns, I was always more violent than what you wanted me to be,
Damnit, I'm sorry, it's my primal right
I'll sleep with who I want
I will love whoever I want, regardless of their gender
I'm bi-curious, oh that's got to be a disappointment to you
I will think what I please
I will worship whatever and whoever I want however I want too
and if that means dancing naked underneath a full moon around a fire, then so be it
This is who I am, this is what I've become
It was what I was shaped to be by your hands and actions,
And I've done my best to do what I can
To change that
Aren't I such a model daughter?