This is supposed to be a love story. I try to hug him. I force myself. I grip him too hard. He's uncomfortable, breaks free. He's "he" now, not Arthur. He no longer has a name in my mind. But that "he" is great, looming large, like a wall. One afternoon he's waiting for me, naked in bed, when I come in from a walk. I see him, but too late. I'm
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