(no subject)
Title: I Have Lost My Way 4/? (Previous parts here)
Author: the_wondering_1 / Maria
Pairing: Billie/Adie
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: None of this happened and I own nothing but the words (sadly)
The next morning Billie left when Adrienne was still asleep. He’d wanted to wait until she woke up, but Mike had come looking for him because they had to leave for interviews soon. He thought about waking her to say goodbye, but decided against it. She was probably worn out and needed her sleep, he shouldn’t disturb her. He wrote her a note before he left to go do interviews with Mike and Tre.
The two interviews they did were boring. Billie tried to at least pretend he was interested, though. Mostly he was just tired of answering the same questions. He felt like just sending out a blanket list that covered everything he ever seemed to be asked about in interviews instead of actually doing them. Yes, he’d just gotten married and yes his wife was pregnant. Yes, he’d known Mike since forever. Yes, the two of them grew up in a shitty little town called Rodeo. Their influences spanned everything, give or take (Billie had gotten so tired of listing bands whenever he was asked this, now he just let Mike or Tre answer the question). And yes, his name was supposed to be B-I-L-L-I-E, yes it was the girls spelling, yes he knew this and so did his mom.
After the interviews they all went over to Madison Square Garden to do sound check, then probably grab lunch, and come back for a little practicing.
When they got there, Billie walked around backstage, telling himself not to get nervous about anything. You can’t get nervous, Armstrong, he told himself, you have to stay cool. Everything’s going to be fine. Remember everything Adie’s been telling you lately?
While Mike and Tre looked at the food table they had set up in the back for them, Billie went into a sound-proofed practice room and grabbed a guitar. He knew if he stood out there with Mike and Tre, looking around and talking that he was going to panic.
He’d been playing for awhile. At first just strumming then going through lists of songs he knew how to play. He’d been concentrating so hard he hadn’t noticed the door open or close.
“That sounds really pretty, what is it?”
Billie jumped when he heard a voice, nearly falling off the chair he was on. Adrienne’s hand flew up to cover her mouth and he heard her laugh.
Billie smiled genuinely when he saw her. “I didn’t know you were going to come,” he started saying as he got up, leaving the guitar behind.
He ran over to her, putting both of his arms around her, smiling. They kissed and when they pulled apart she answered her question.
“Well, shopping seemed unappealing and I missed you.” She said it simply, and Billie moved to kiss her again.
“I missed you too,” Billie started, pulling away form her again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get to see you before I left…we had that interview and Mike started bugging me to leave so we wouldn’t be late.”
She only smiled nestling up against him again. “It’s okay, Billie.”
Billie smiled in return when he felt her. They stayed connected like that for awhile, before he heard Adrienne’s voice.
“Beej? Do you want to go eat? They’ve got a shitload of food out there.”
He pushed his head into her chest first, wrinkling his nose at the thought of it. It wasn’t the food, per say, more….more the thought of going out there. He was worried it would make him panic.
He’d rather just stay in here and keep practicing. He didn’t even want to think about having to be on stage and see all the empty chairs and pit. He just wanted to stay here.
“Beej?” He heard again.
When he heard her he realized he needed to answer to keep from arousing her suspicions. Billie didn’t want her to be worried about him. He’d be fine.
“Oh, yeah, sure, just let me put this away, okay?” he said gesturing to the guitar.
She nodded, “All right…I’ll be out there, okay?”
He nodded, reaching up to kiss her before he went to put the guitar away.
As Billie put the guitar away he tried to get himself to calm down. Just go out there, and eat and talk. It’ll be fine. It’s always fine; you’re just being silly like Tre always says.
He kept repeating words like that over and over again in his head as he walked out of the room. Rounding the corner, he saw Adrienne sitting on a black sofa with a plate of food on her lap.
Mike and Tre were sitting opposite her, both with beers next to them, talking.
Billie sat down next to her, and forced himself not to panic; he forced himself to focus on something other than how big the room felt, how there was food and sofas. He told himself he was back in California, at Gilman. Yes. They were going to do a show at Gilman, like always. Or at a house party, like always. It was normal. Routine, and this - the food, sofas, the bigness of the room, wasn’t out of the ordinary. It was normal.
They had all been talking for awhile, but Billie had been more concerned with telling himself that things were normal, and trying to convince himself that he was back at Gilman Street. To be honest, he hadn’t even noticed how they were all talking and carrying on.
Adrienne stabbed at his side when Tre said something particularly funny and it jarred him out of his thoughts and back to his real reality. He laughed, going along and smiled. After, he got up and made himself a small plate of food; he still felt nervous and didn’t want to overdo anything.
Billie sat and ate with everyone, laughing when Tre made a joke, and nodding his head in agreement whenever Mike said anything. He tried to seem okay, and after awhile of being with everyone he even actually felt a little better.
Though, when Billie could hear the roadies moving boxes around on stage he started to feel his panic come back. By this time, however, Mike and Tre were disappearing and Billie was left with Adrienne.
She had moved closer to him and started talking, but Billie wasn’t listening anymore.
He didn’t know how long she’d been talking before she realized he wasn’t paying any attention, instead starting to panic. When she realized, though, Billie felt her shake his arm roughly.
“Billie Joe!” she said, rather loudly, making Billie jump out of the seat when he heard her.
For a second, Billie glanced around before realizing that it had been Adrienne who had called his name.
He was about to start letting sorry after sorry fall out of his mouth, but then he heard her.
“Beej?”
He glanced up, figuring that she must have heard him sigh. “Are you okay?”
Biting his lip, he wanted to tell her that he was fine, and get up and walk out on stage and prove he was, but he knew he couldn’t. He was scared. He was fucking terrorifed. He didn’t think anyone - not even Mike or Tre, understood how he felt about having to go out there and perform a show. It was too big. It was too much, and he didn’t know what he was going to do.
She must have started talking again, but Billie couldn’t concentrate enough to really listen to her. His breath was getting all stuck up in his chest now; the harder he tried to breathe the less it seemed to be coming out.
Adrienne was still talking, but he got up, forgetting that she had climbed on top of him when the others had left. He pushed her off, not roughly, but not gentle, either.
“Billie!” she yelled when she was pushed aside.
Hearing her yell like that made him stop for a second. Locking eyes with her he somehow mumbled something about needing air; he didn’t know how he managed to get it out, considering he could barely breathe.
Rounding the corner again, Billie pushed open the door of the practice room and fell back against it.
Taking a deep breathe he instantly felt better, less panicked. But then his mind spun to Adrienne and how she’d been trying to calm him down and how he’d pushed her away and how she probably thought he was fucking insane now.
Tears pooled at the surface of Billie’s eyes. He let out a few sobs, thinking of everything that overwhelmed him, but then squatting against the back of the door, balled his hands up to wipe his tears away.
They kept coming, and for a second Billie almost thought it was useless.
Just get the guitar. Do something. It’ll help, he told himself.
It was hard, because Billie was crying so much but somehow he opened the case and pulled it out. He leaned against the door, not bothering to sit in the chair and forced himself to close his eyes shut tight so tears weren’t fucking everywhere and told himself to start playing something.
It was hard at first. Billie was fighting all his fucking thoughts, but it didn’t take long for it to all turn over to music. Songs. Lyrics soon went through his head, along with the drum and bass beats of each song.
He went on like that until he heard a knock on the door, and what sounded like Mike’s voice saying “Billie? Are you in there?”
Billie didn’t want to stop playing. It felt good. He could do this. He didn’t want to get up, but eventually he forced himself to, because he knew Mike would be insistent.
Billie opened the door and saw Mike standing there waiting for him. “Hey, they want us to do sound check are you all ready?”
Billie started to nod, and the he heard Mike cut back in again. “Oh, yeah, and Adrienne said she was looking for you.”
Billie went to nod again, mumbling something about how he’d be ready soon. He went to put the guitar away and as he did he saw Mike give him a weird look. Biting his lip, Billie told himself to forget about it.
Everything will be fine.
Billie followed him out and almost to the sage before he spotted Adrienne.
The first second he saw her he ran over, and then waved at Mike for him to go on without him.
“Hey, Adie,” he started saying when he saw her.
She was biting her lip, not looking very happy when she saw him walk over, and when Billie stopped in front of she frowned even more.
“Billie,” she said, barely above a whisper, “honey, your eyes are all red….”
Her voice trailed off and Billie shut them for a second, before feeling his face get red.
“I-I-I’m sorry, about before,” Billie started saying. He wanted to reach out and hug her, but it was like he didn’t know how. He’d honestly thought she was going to be angry at him from the way she’d yelled at him. In his mind a simple “I’m sorry” wasn’t enough.
“I…I just, I’m panicking and sitting in that room just helped, I’m sorry, and I have to get out there before Mike comes back in and gets me himself, okay?”
Billie’s eyes had been darting between Adrienne and the sage for the last few seconds. He knew he must have been late for sound check at this point, and he could only hear Adrienne’s voice in the back of his head, going on about how he couldn’t be late and how he had to follow all the rules with these kinds of people.
She nodded, and then moved forward to pull him into a huge hug. “I’ll be on the side, watching you guys, okay? Everything’s going to be fine, okay? I know it’s a lot of everything for you, but you’ll do it. You’ll be fine, okay? I’ll be there and Mike and Tre are going to be there. And it’s just sound check, no one’s even out there, okay? Just a bunch of tech people and roadies. You’ll be fine and I love you. It’s just you and your band and your guitar, Billie Joe.”
Billie nodded, repeating the last line to himself as they parted ways, Adrienne off to the side of the sage, and Billie off to the main stage.
When Billie first stepped out he saw Mike getting his bass and Tre playing with his drum kid. He took a deep breath, going over to a roadie who had his guitar ready to hand off to him.
Taking it, he slid it on himself, and then waited for a second as someone hooked it up.
Turning out towards the empty seats for the first time Billie took a deep breath and then glanced over to see Adrienne smiling from the corner of the sage.
It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay. It’s fine. Adrienne’s standing over there and Mike and Tre are behind you and next to you. And no one’s really here. It’s just fucking sound check. Just start playing and you’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. You are fine.
Billie did as he told himself to and started playing a song on the set list. The others followed his lead, and it went on like that. Stopping when things needed fixed or changed, put up or down, then playing again when you thought it was right and then stopping after when you realized it wasn’t.
When the official sound check was over, Billie, Mike and Tre all gathered backstage.
By now it was time for dinner and more food was brought out.
Adrienne had met up with Billie afterward and threw her arms around him.
“You did really great, Billie,” she told him.
He knew he must have blushed red, but he kissed her and whispered, “thank you,” to her.
She didn’t say anything else on the matter just gave him a big hug and smiled at him again. Though, Billie had more he wanted to say for her…but not here. He’d save it for when they were back in the hotel that night, or maybe the cab ride on the way home if they were alone. For now, just knowing she was there and understood about everything was enough for Billie.
The group sat around and talked for a better part of the evening, Mike and Tre getting a bit drunker as time passed. Billie didn’t join in for once, though, but no one seemed to notice.
Mike and Tre drunkenly got in a cab to go home, and Billie talked to a roadie while he debated staying and practicing more on stage in his head. He wanted to, just to feel more comfortable about everything because he still felt nervous. Sound check had gone fine, he knew but he couldn’t shake his feelings.
As he shied away from the group of roadies, he walked back over to Adrienne.
“Hey,” he started as he slid his arms around her. “I think I’m goanna stay and practice on stage some more, that okay?”
She looked at him for a second and by the way she looked at him he could tell she was trying to look for the tell-tale sings of his anxiety.
“All right, do you want me to go and sit out there with you?”
Billie smiled, and if Adrienne had been looking at him he was pretty sure he would have blushed. “Oh, Adie you don’t to, I’m just going to be going through things…I’m just still a little…y’know….”
His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, leaning into her.
“I will, I’ll stay. I don’t mind, Beej.”
Billie just smiled at her, and taking her hand they walked back out toward the sage.
Grabbing a chair Billie got himself situated and hooked everything up himself since he didn’t want to bother any of the roadies. Adrienne opted to sit off to the side, watching and listening.
Billie went through lists of songs in his head for awhile, before he started going through the set list. He tried to remember it in order, but he knew he’d failed on that pretty quickly so after that he just tried to think of all the songs on it. As he played he went through the drum and bass parts, or at least as much as he knew of them, too. Billie just wanted to make sure he was okay for tomorrow. He knew Mike and Tre would have thought he was going off the deep end again if they knew he was here, but he didn’t really care. Adrienne seemed to
understand, though, and part of him was glad she was here. It was one of the things that helped him stay calm when his mind wandered and he looked out into the mass of empty seats. That, and the fact that no one else was there; it was just them.
It went on like this for awhile. By the time Billie decided he was done he’d gone through the set list at least five times, at the end finally remembering the order of most of the songs.
Midway through, Adrienne had gotten up to go backstage. He didn’t blame her for not staying the whole way through, it was okay, he didn’t mind, and he hadn’t expected her to anyway.
Getting up and out of the chair Billie walked over and put his guitar back in the rack. Walking backstage he saw Adrienne laying on one of the sofas, looking to be asleep.
He smiled a little to himself at the sight before glancing to his left at the clock hanging on the wall, which read after midnight.
Billie bit his lip, glancing back down at Adrienne. He honestly hadn’t meant to spend so much time out there, and started feeling bad because of Adrienne. He frowned again, leaning down next to her.
“Adie?” he whispered, putting his hand on one of her arms.
He heard her make a sound as she pushed herself up.
“Sorry,” she mumbled as she wiped her eyes.
Billie tried to smile and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her. “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I’m sorry; you should have said something to me. I didn’t mean for us to be here half the night.”
Adrienne’s only response was to push her head into his neck.
“C’mon let’s get home, okay?”
He could feel Adrienne nod and it made him smile as he squeezed her with his arm around him.
Billie called a cab, and soon enough they were on there way back to the hotel.
Adrienne seemed to fall back asleep during the cab ride, which made him smile and frown. Smile, because well, it was kind of adorable and frown because he felt bad for practicing half the night. When they got to the hotel Billie paid the bill, then helped Adrienne get out, his back on his shoulder.
Billie had his arm around her until they got into their room, then he helped her get on the bed and started to take off her shoes.
While Billie got a shower, Adrienne finally forced herself to get up and put on pajamas before crashing back into bed, falling asleep before Billie came back out.
After his shower Billie didn’t bother to put anything on, opting to sleep in his boxers. He walked in the room and noticed her discarded clothes in a pile near the bed and then glanced up to see it looked like she was already asleep. Climbing in bed next to her, he smiled and pushed himself closer while trying not to wake her up. Billie couldn’t help but to wrap an arm around her waist after figuring she wouldn’t wake up, and then fell promptly asleep.
--
Sorry for the late-ness with this one, hopefully I'll start writing more? I'm not sure if I like how this chapter happened, or not. This wasn't my original idea...and then it just sorta happened, -shrugs-.
Anyway, thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoy!
Comments are love :)
Author: the_wondering_1 / Maria
Pairing: Billie/Adie
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: None of this happened and I own nothing but the words (sadly)
The next morning Billie left when Adrienne was still asleep. He’d wanted to wait until she woke up, but Mike had come looking for him because they had to leave for interviews soon. He thought about waking her to say goodbye, but decided against it. She was probably worn out and needed her sleep, he shouldn’t disturb her. He wrote her a note before he left to go do interviews with Mike and Tre.
The two interviews they did were boring. Billie tried to at least pretend he was interested, though. Mostly he was just tired of answering the same questions. He felt like just sending out a blanket list that covered everything he ever seemed to be asked about in interviews instead of actually doing them. Yes, he’d just gotten married and yes his wife was pregnant. Yes, he’d known Mike since forever. Yes, the two of them grew up in a shitty little town called Rodeo. Their influences spanned everything, give or take (Billie had gotten so tired of listing bands whenever he was asked this, now he just let Mike or Tre answer the question). And yes, his name was supposed to be B-I-L-L-I-E, yes it was the girls spelling, yes he knew this and so did his mom.
After the interviews they all went over to Madison Square Garden to do sound check, then probably grab lunch, and come back for a little practicing.
When they got there, Billie walked around backstage, telling himself not to get nervous about anything. You can’t get nervous, Armstrong, he told himself, you have to stay cool. Everything’s going to be fine. Remember everything Adie’s been telling you lately?
While Mike and Tre looked at the food table they had set up in the back for them, Billie went into a sound-proofed practice room and grabbed a guitar. He knew if he stood out there with Mike and Tre, looking around and talking that he was going to panic.
He’d been playing for awhile. At first just strumming then going through lists of songs he knew how to play. He’d been concentrating so hard he hadn’t noticed the door open or close.
“That sounds really pretty, what is it?”
Billie jumped when he heard a voice, nearly falling off the chair he was on. Adrienne’s hand flew up to cover her mouth and he heard her laugh.
Billie smiled genuinely when he saw her. “I didn’t know you were going to come,” he started saying as he got up, leaving the guitar behind.
He ran over to her, putting both of his arms around her, smiling. They kissed and when they pulled apart she answered her question.
“Well, shopping seemed unappealing and I missed you.” She said it simply, and Billie moved to kiss her again.
“I missed you too,” Billie started, pulling away form her again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get to see you before I left…we had that interview and Mike started bugging me to leave so we wouldn’t be late.”
She only smiled nestling up against him again. “It’s okay, Billie.”
Billie smiled in return when he felt her. They stayed connected like that for awhile, before he heard Adrienne’s voice.
“Beej? Do you want to go eat? They’ve got a shitload of food out there.”
He pushed his head into her chest first, wrinkling his nose at the thought of it. It wasn’t the food, per say, more….more the thought of going out there. He was worried it would make him panic.
He’d rather just stay in here and keep practicing. He didn’t even want to think about having to be on stage and see all the empty chairs and pit. He just wanted to stay here.
“Beej?” He heard again.
When he heard her he realized he needed to answer to keep from arousing her suspicions. Billie didn’t want her to be worried about him. He’d be fine.
“Oh, yeah, sure, just let me put this away, okay?” he said gesturing to the guitar.
She nodded, “All right…I’ll be out there, okay?”
He nodded, reaching up to kiss her before he went to put the guitar away.
As Billie put the guitar away he tried to get himself to calm down. Just go out there, and eat and talk. It’ll be fine. It’s always fine; you’re just being silly like Tre always says.
He kept repeating words like that over and over again in his head as he walked out of the room. Rounding the corner, he saw Adrienne sitting on a black sofa with a plate of food on her lap.
Mike and Tre were sitting opposite her, both with beers next to them, talking.
Billie sat down next to her, and forced himself not to panic; he forced himself to focus on something other than how big the room felt, how there was food and sofas. He told himself he was back in California, at Gilman. Yes. They were going to do a show at Gilman, like always. Or at a house party, like always. It was normal. Routine, and this - the food, sofas, the bigness of the room, wasn’t out of the ordinary. It was normal.
They had all been talking for awhile, but Billie had been more concerned with telling himself that things were normal, and trying to convince himself that he was back at Gilman Street. To be honest, he hadn’t even noticed how they were all talking and carrying on.
Adrienne stabbed at his side when Tre said something particularly funny and it jarred him out of his thoughts and back to his real reality. He laughed, going along and smiled. After, he got up and made himself a small plate of food; he still felt nervous and didn’t want to overdo anything.
Billie sat and ate with everyone, laughing when Tre made a joke, and nodding his head in agreement whenever Mike said anything. He tried to seem okay, and after awhile of being with everyone he even actually felt a little better.
Though, when Billie could hear the roadies moving boxes around on stage he started to feel his panic come back. By this time, however, Mike and Tre were disappearing and Billie was left with Adrienne.
She had moved closer to him and started talking, but Billie wasn’t listening anymore.
He didn’t know how long she’d been talking before she realized he wasn’t paying any attention, instead starting to panic. When she realized, though, Billie felt her shake his arm roughly.
“Billie Joe!” she said, rather loudly, making Billie jump out of the seat when he heard her.
For a second, Billie glanced around before realizing that it had been Adrienne who had called his name.
He was about to start letting sorry after sorry fall out of his mouth, but then he heard her.
“Beej?”
He glanced up, figuring that she must have heard him sigh. “Are you okay?”
Biting his lip, he wanted to tell her that he was fine, and get up and walk out on stage and prove he was, but he knew he couldn’t. He was scared. He was fucking terrorifed. He didn’t think anyone - not even Mike or Tre, understood how he felt about having to go out there and perform a show. It was too big. It was too much, and he didn’t know what he was going to do.
She must have started talking again, but Billie couldn’t concentrate enough to really listen to her. His breath was getting all stuck up in his chest now; the harder he tried to breathe the less it seemed to be coming out.
Adrienne was still talking, but he got up, forgetting that she had climbed on top of him when the others had left. He pushed her off, not roughly, but not gentle, either.
“Billie!” she yelled when she was pushed aside.
Hearing her yell like that made him stop for a second. Locking eyes with her he somehow mumbled something about needing air; he didn’t know how he managed to get it out, considering he could barely breathe.
Rounding the corner again, Billie pushed open the door of the practice room and fell back against it.
Taking a deep breathe he instantly felt better, less panicked. But then his mind spun to Adrienne and how she’d been trying to calm him down and how he’d pushed her away and how she probably thought he was fucking insane now.
Tears pooled at the surface of Billie’s eyes. He let out a few sobs, thinking of everything that overwhelmed him, but then squatting against the back of the door, balled his hands up to wipe his tears away.
They kept coming, and for a second Billie almost thought it was useless.
Just get the guitar. Do something. It’ll help, he told himself.
It was hard, because Billie was crying so much but somehow he opened the case and pulled it out. He leaned against the door, not bothering to sit in the chair and forced himself to close his eyes shut tight so tears weren’t fucking everywhere and told himself to start playing something.
It was hard at first. Billie was fighting all his fucking thoughts, but it didn’t take long for it to all turn over to music. Songs. Lyrics soon went through his head, along with the drum and bass beats of each song.
He went on like that until he heard a knock on the door, and what sounded like Mike’s voice saying “Billie? Are you in there?”
Billie didn’t want to stop playing. It felt good. He could do this. He didn’t want to get up, but eventually he forced himself to, because he knew Mike would be insistent.
Billie opened the door and saw Mike standing there waiting for him. “Hey, they want us to do sound check are you all ready?”
Billie started to nod, and the he heard Mike cut back in again. “Oh, yeah, and Adrienne said she was looking for you.”
Billie went to nod again, mumbling something about how he’d be ready soon. He went to put the guitar away and as he did he saw Mike give him a weird look. Biting his lip, Billie told himself to forget about it.
Everything will be fine.
Billie followed him out and almost to the sage before he spotted Adrienne.
The first second he saw her he ran over, and then waved at Mike for him to go on without him.
“Hey, Adie,” he started saying when he saw her.
She was biting her lip, not looking very happy when she saw him walk over, and when Billie stopped in front of she frowned even more.
“Billie,” she said, barely above a whisper, “honey, your eyes are all red….”
Her voice trailed off and Billie shut them for a second, before feeling his face get red.
“I-I-I’m sorry, about before,” Billie started saying. He wanted to reach out and hug her, but it was like he didn’t know how. He’d honestly thought she was going to be angry at him from the way she’d yelled at him. In his mind a simple “I’m sorry” wasn’t enough.
“I…I just, I’m panicking and sitting in that room just helped, I’m sorry, and I have to get out there before Mike comes back in and gets me himself, okay?”
Billie’s eyes had been darting between Adrienne and the sage for the last few seconds. He knew he must have been late for sound check at this point, and he could only hear Adrienne’s voice in the back of his head, going on about how he couldn’t be late and how he had to follow all the rules with these kinds of people.
She nodded, and then moved forward to pull him into a huge hug. “I’ll be on the side, watching you guys, okay? Everything’s going to be fine, okay? I know it’s a lot of everything for you, but you’ll do it. You’ll be fine, okay? I’ll be there and Mike and Tre are going to be there. And it’s just sound check, no one’s even out there, okay? Just a bunch of tech people and roadies. You’ll be fine and I love you. It’s just you and your band and your guitar, Billie Joe.”
Billie nodded, repeating the last line to himself as they parted ways, Adrienne off to the side of the sage, and Billie off to the main stage.
When Billie first stepped out he saw Mike getting his bass and Tre playing with his drum kid. He took a deep breath, going over to a roadie who had his guitar ready to hand off to him.
Taking it, he slid it on himself, and then waited for a second as someone hooked it up.
Turning out towards the empty seats for the first time Billie took a deep breath and then glanced over to see Adrienne smiling from the corner of the sage.
It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay. It’s fine. Adrienne’s standing over there and Mike and Tre are behind you and next to you. And no one’s really here. It’s just fucking sound check. Just start playing and you’ll be okay. You’ll be fine. You are fine.
Billie did as he told himself to and started playing a song on the set list. The others followed his lead, and it went on like that. Stopping when things needed fixed or changed, put up or down, then playing again when you thought it was right and then stopping after when you realized it wasn’t.
When the official sound check was over, Billie, Mike and Tre all gathered backstage.
By now it was time for dinner and more food was brought out.
Adrienne had met up with Billie afterward and threw her arms around him.
“You did really great, Billie,” she told him.
He knew he must have blushed red, but he kissed her and whispered, “thank you,” to her.
She didn’t say anything else on the matter just gave him a big hug and smiled at him again. Though, Billie had more he wanted to say for her…but not here. He’d save it for when they were back in the hotel that night, or maybe the cab ride on the way home if they were alone. For now, just knowing she was there and understood about everything was enough for Billie.
The group sat around and talked for a better part of the evening, Mike and Tre getting a bit drunker as time passed. Billie didn’t join in for once, though, but no one seemed to notice.
Mike and Tre drunkenly got in a cab to go home, and Billie talked to a roadie while he debated staying and practicing more on stage in his head. He wanted to, just to feel more comfortable about everything because he still felt nervous. Sound check had gone fine, he knew but he couldn’t shake his feelings.
As he shied away from the group of roadies, he walked back over to Adrienne.
“Hey,” he started as he slid his arms around her. “I think I’m goanna stay and practice on stage some more, that okay?”
She looked at him for a second and by the way she looked at him he could tell she was trying to look for the tell-tale sings of his anxiety.
“All right, do you want me to go and sit out there with you?”
Billie smiled, and if Adrienne had been looking at him he was pretty sure he would have blushed. “Oh, Adie you don’t to, I’m just going to be going through things…I’m just still a little…y’know….”
His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, leaning into her.
“I will, I’ll stay. I don’t mind, Beej.”
Billie just smiled at her, and taking her hand they walked back out toward the sage.
Grabbing a chair Billie got himself situated and hooked everything up himself since he didn’t want to bother any of the roadies. Adrienne opted to sit off to the side, watching and listening.
Billie went through lists of songs in his head for awhile, before he started going through the set list. He tried to remember it in order, but he knew he’d failed on that pretty quickly so after that he just tried to think of all the songs on it. As he played he went through the drum and bass parts, or at least as much as he knew of them, too. Billie just wanted to make sure he was okay for tomorrow. He knew Mike and Tre would have thought he was going off the deep end again if they knew he was here, but he didn’t really care. Adrienne seemed to
understand, though, and part of him was glad she was here. It was one of the things that helped him stay calm when his mind wandered and he looked out into the mass of empty seats. That, and the fact that no one else was there; it was just them.
It went on like this for awhile. By the time Billie decided he was done he’d gone through the set list at least five times, at the end finally remembering the order of most of the songs.
Midway through, Adrienne had gotten up to go backstage. He didn’t blame her for not staying the whole way through, it was okay, he didn’t mind, and he hadn’t expected her to anyway.
Getting up and out of the chair Billie walked over and put his guitar back in the rack. Walking backstage he saw Adrienne laying on one of the sofas, looking to be asleep.
He smiled a little to himself at the sight before glancing to his left at the clock hanging on the wall, which read after midnight.
Billie bit his lip, glancing back down at Adrienne. He honestly hadn’t meant to spend so much time out there, and started feeling bad because of Adrienne. He frowned again, leaning down next to her.
“Adie?” he whispered, putting his hand on one of her arms.
He heard her make a sound as she pushed herself up.
“Sorry,” she mumbled as she wiped her eyes.
Billie tried to smile and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her. “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I’m sorry; you should have said something to me. I didn’t mean for us to be here half the night.”
Adrienne’s only response was to push her head into his neck.
“C’mon let’s get home, okay?”
He could feel Adrienne nod and it made him smile as he squeezed her with his arm around him.
Billie called a cab, and soon enough they were on there way back to the hotel.
Adrienne seemed to fall back asleep during the cab ride, which made him smile and frown. Smile, because well, it was kind of adorable and frown because he felt bad for practicing half the night. When they got to the hotel Billie paid the bill, then helped Adrienne get out, his back on his shoulder.
Billie had his arm around her until they got into their room, then he helped her get on the bed and started to take off her shoes.
While Billie got a shower, Adrienne finally forced herself to get up and put on pajamas before crashing back into bed, falling asleep before Billie came back out.
After his shower Billie didn’t bother to put anything on, opting to sleep in his boxers. He walked in the room and noticed her discarded clothes in a pile near the bed and then glanced up to see it looked like she was already asleep. Climbing in bed next to her, he smiled and pushed himself closer while trying not to wake her up. Billie couldn’t help but to wrap an arm around her waist after figuring she wouldn’t wake up, and then fell promptly asleep.
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Sorry for the late-ness with this one, hopefully I'll start writing more? I'm not sure if I like how this chapter happened, or not. This wasn't my original idea...and then it just sorta happened, -shrugs-.
Anyway, thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoy!
Comments are love :)