it's the other end of the camera that actually steals your soul and why I fucking hate my kids.

[theapplethief]

Apparently, no one in my math class has any sense of humor at all. There was this one girl that was talking about how awful her English teacher was and how she kept giving her bad grades no matter what she did, and I was all like "well, you should nail her hands to the floor and make her think about what she's done" and then everyone just stared.

Comments

[wumples]

OH MY GOD, do I have stupid brain disease too! I cannot tell you how many times I've leaned in to hug John, and I'm short, so my eyes are right at collarbone level, and SUDDENLY! Suddenly I realize I am eye to eye with where they will begin the Y-incision on his dead body and what am I going to do now with this gaping hole in my chest where he used to live? What if he died in a car accident, and they take his body away to the hospital, and I leave my keys at home, and I'm stranded with no way to get into our apartment and steal all of his t-shirts and socks and plushes before his mom shows up at the house, can't I just curl up in our bed and smell his shirts and cry? I need those things, meanwhile John's dead and getting cut open and weighed and picked apart in a morgue.

And then I come to, and go, "Fuck woman, you are insane. Go somewhere."

And Call of Duty might be your boyfriend's new girlfriend, but I bet that dirty tart can't bake him desserts! :P He'll be forced to surface for delicious sugary goodness sooner or later.

[theapplethief]

Honestly, I don't have the "boyfriend might die" so much as the "I might die and no one that is on my emergency contact list has his number so they couldn't get in touch with him and he'll never know and just think that I've decided to do the ignore/break up thing, and he'll be broken hearted and I'll be dead and there's no possible way I can reconcile that, and later on he might find out that I died but he'll be so full of bitterness and hate for me that it won't even matter" thing.

And then I remember that they all have facebook. And then I start to wonder if maybe I am actually mentally challenged.

Oh, I know. I'm making fried chicken tonight and romantically accosting him so he remembers who he belongs to... I mean... that I'm better than a videogame.

[wumples]

hahahahahahaha! Oof. I've been in modes similar to that. Though it's mostly the "boyfriend might die" thing. Which isn't my fault! John likes to REMIND ME how he has to die first, and I'm not allowed to die until he dies, and then I start hyperventilating at the thoughts of the jaws of life and hospital beds and eulogies. It's amazing how far the brain can take all these ridiculous scenarios and how worked up one can get over them. I wonder what causes this particular brand of crazy? (I'm gonna blame vaginas, just 'cos misogyny = fun!)

Mmmmmm, fried chicken and boy-branding. Sounds like a party! If he can't appreciate homemade fried chicken and date night, it sounds like you've got a problem. One that can only be solved by kidnapping his xbox and leaving a ransom note, Riddler-style.

[raoin]

dude.

[theapplethief]

i know.

[giana]

I will totally slap your children for their future offenses. Seriously, they need to have more compassion for their mother's feelings. While we're on the topic of slapping, I think we should slap your classmates because they lack wit.

Also, turtle disease is possible just like bobcats are. It's not a happy thought.

-Sabrina

[theapplethief]

Thank you.

For agreeing with me 200%, this is why you are my best friend and not on my murder list.

[zerothefool2486]

i like eloise, not too fond of jeff. (although i just finished reading scud the disposable assassin, so jeffs growing on me...attaching to me...pop culture tentacles...something...)

also, dont you make cakes and pies? comin from a gamer, if the game distracts from baked goods, you may need to show how little in the way of firearms and explosives are required for destruction. come on k, you dont need no guns. youre haud. youd knife im in front of a judge. dont forget your jedi roots.

good luck with your classes, eat some tryptophan.

(also, i give ambah level up noises all the damn time whenever she learns a new ability. shes like lvl 20 now)

[theapplethief]

Well, Jeffrey was my brother's name... so... there ya go.

I do. I made an apple pie. He enjoyed it.

Thanks. I did. I hope your Thanksgiving was a good as mine.

I should start doing this with Drew, I think he would take positively to this.

hahaha

[ext_214330]

omg, u just described me; and my boyfriend!.... lol