Masquerade - Ch 15
Title: Masquerade - Chapter 15
Pairing: Sam/Janet
Rating: adult
Summary: SG-1 make the horrifying discovery that Janet Fraiser has been host to a Goa’uld for the past three years.
This chapter: The story concludes.
She felt like a teenager fumbling her key into the front door. Her cheeks flushed, feeling Janet’s charmed gaze watching her clumsy performance. Finally she could kick open the door and distinctly heard Janet chuckle as she entered the house.
The women met in the living room. It struck Sam painfully the way Janet explored the interior with her eyes wide in wonder, how her fingers brushed along the back of the sofa reverently. A rush of emotion surged up her throat as Janet closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath and hummed in familiarity. To think the woman remembered her scent was unexpectedly rousing.
She cleared her throat awkwardly. “I can, uh...I can sleep on the couch if...”
Janet scoffed and grinned as she moved close to Sam. She tenderly brushed a lock of her hair across her brow.
“I want to fall asleep knowing you’re right there beside me.”
Shivers clamoured down Sam’s spine. Janet’s eyes looked rich and deep. “Okay. I...I kept a lot of your clothes. Here.”
She didn’t see the suspicious smirk on Janet’s lips as she led the woman to her bedroom.
She opened the top drawer of her dresser and began to take out some soft, pale items she’d kept. Sam’s breath quivered when Janet’s body eased against her to peer into the drawer. Her small hand came down, stopping her removing anything else.
“The shirt is fine.” Janet gently took the garment from Sam’s hand. She looked back inside the drawer again, and made a small noise. She seemed to know what purpose the drawer had served in all the years Sam had believed she’d lost the woman she loved. She tenderly removed Sam’s arm from inside the drawer and closed it.
“Uhh,” Sam began as Janet draped the shirt over the end of the bed and started to remove her shoes. “I’m sorry I’ll...sorry.” Stop starting, Sam turned with the intention of leaving the room. Janet grabbed her arm.
“It’s alright, Sam.” She smiled at her as she stepped out of her pants and pulled off her top. Sam just watched, jaw hanging. Just as Janet reached behind to remove her bra, Sam let her eyes sink shut. She could only hear the sounds of her lover dressing for bed.
A hand on her arm made her jump.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Sam opened her eyes and turned only to see Janet’s arm disappear into bathroom. Sam turned about anxiously, her breath in short gasps. She decided to get ready for bed. She was just pulling a take down over her midriff when she heard Janet return.
Her hair was down, and despite the lack of shine and vitality, Sam was moved by how natural she looked. Her pale, washed face looked almost grey, but Sam thought she had never seen her more beautiful.
Janet climbed into bed. Sam clenched her jaw, silently scolding herself for being so nervous. Her lover smiled, inviting Sam in beside her.
Sam pulled back the covers, sliding herself under the sheets, trembling. Janet rubbed her hand over her thigh over the covers.
“Okay. Go ahead. Get it all off your chest.”
“What?”
Janet giggled quietly. “Everything that’s making you so uncomfortable. You can ask me anything. Tell me anything. Just, let’s get it all out tonight.”
Sam tensed. “Janet...”
Janet’s voice was light. “Anything. Go on.”
Sam snorted through a shameful smirk and her gaze fell into her lap. “I...went to Atlantis.”
“I know.”
Sam stared at her.
“Teal’c filled me in. On everything that happened the past two years.”
Sam gripped her hands together, her eyes evasive. “I...I told myself Nephthys could have known the Ancients originated from the Pegasus galaxy but...I still feel like I gave up searching for you.”
“Nephthys did go to the Pegasus galaxy.”
Sam looked up at her. Her heart had caught in her throat. “...What?”
Janet smiled warmly at her, and gently brushed her cheek with the back of her finger. “You should know by now, Sam. You’re right about everything.”
Her time in Atlantis played in her mind, from the moment she began her leadership. The change of environment had been good for her, and it was liberating to be among people who didn’t know her as deeply as Daniel and Teal’c. She could hide her feelings more easily.
To think she had been so close to finding Nephthys made her heart ache. “I didn’t...”
“She went looking for Atlantis,” Janet explained. “The city wasn’t where she thought it would be.”
Sam bounced on the bed, slapping her knees. “That’s because we had to leave that planet to escape the Replicators!”
Janet beamed endearingly. “I know.”
Sam shook her head, disappointed in herself and regretting everything that happened. She couldn’t believe how calm and understanding Janet was being.
She felt her lover’s hand squeeze her thigh. “Nephthys quickly learned that people from Atlantis were exploring the galaxy, fighting the Wraith and the Replicators. It wasn’t hard for her to track you down.”
“She found us?”
“She had phasing technology, remember? She explored the city out of phase. She...taunted me. So many times I was so close to you. Nephthys could have easily...”
Sam shuddered, feeling chills prickle the back of her neck.
Janet’s beautiful eyes drifted downward to her lap. “Part of her...part of her would have killed you. Another part of her...was in as much pain as I was.”
Seeing her struggle, Sam reached around her back and held her. Janet sniffed, and nudged her nose briefly with the back of her finger.
“Feeling that way was the reason she eventually left. She returned to the Milky Way galaxy. And I thought...at least you were alright. You were living your life. You were still part of the fight.”
Janet heaved and her head tilted with emotional difficulty. Sam chewed her lip in anticipation. She was suddenly afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle what Janet told her. She couldn’t let her down.
Janet shook her head, her gaze still in her lap. “She’d been through some terrible things, Sam. Too much of it is so awful I can’t...”
Sam felt tears biting her eyes. She held Janet more firmly in her arm and felt the smaller woman shudder.
“They’re just flashes and impressions of crippling terror. I’m a doctor. I hate to see people, anyone, suffer. I knew what she was and the things, horrible, shocking things she’d done but I knew a side of her that was so alone and so afraid and in so much pain.”
“You helped her,” Sam realized.
Janet gave a small nod. She opened her hands and looked into her palms. “Nephthys was protecting that city.”
Sam reared in doubt and confusion.
“Those people you tried to help, they were bandits who had free reign of the city before Nephthys returned. She drove them back. I know it wasn’t out of kindness. The city was hers and she simply reclaimed it.”
It was shocking, to say the least. Although good people normally didn’t shoot strangers dead before finding out for sure who they were and where their allegiances were. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising. It was still unsettling to realize she and her team had been at the mercy of criminals without even knowing. How easily they had been fooled.
Sam blinked and felt a stab of pain at the sight of a tear pat softly on the bedsheet over Janet’s lap.
“Part of me mourns her, Sam.” She started to cry and Sam felt useless. “I...I knew her as well as I could know myself and...she was all I had for so long and now she’s...she’s not there.”
Sam rubbed her hand up Janet’s arm and held her shoulder. She tenderly stroked her fingers through her hair. “I know.”
“She was cruel. She was a sick...twisted killer.” Janet sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand and uttered an ironic laugh. “God. How can I feel like this?”
Sam leaned into her, resting her cheek against her hair. “Your consciousness was shared with hers. Everything she felt, you felt. That kind of relationship...it’s more than intense. It’s not something you can just recover from. That consciousness becomes a part of you as though it had always been there.”
She kissed Janet’s hair and draw gentle circles around her cheek. “If...if you need someone to talk to about it I’m sure Vala wouldn’t mind. She’s helping Ba’al’s host at the moment, too.”
The sound of Janet snorting surprised her. “You really want me spending more time with Vala?”
Sam smiled. “I’m not threatened by her.”
Janet pulled aside and turned her head to look her in the eye. “Really?”
Sam set her features firmly. “Really. It’s fine.”
Janet pouted. “Oh. Well, that’s no fun.”
Sam’s lips curved. “You want me to feel threatened?”
Janet narrowed her eyes mischievously. “I think you would be if you only knew the kind of memories I have of her...” Her gaze lifted reflectively. “Mmmm...Oh yeah. That’s a good one. Ohhhh...”
Sam gradually frowned in concern. “Hey, stop it!”
Janet bit her bottom lip indulgently. “Mmmm...” It was only when one of her hands slipped and moved under the sheets that Sam’s eyes flashed.
“Alright! Alright.”
Janet chuckled triumphantly.
Sam huffed and slouched against the pillows. “I guess it does...worry me. A little.”
Janet reached for her. “Jealousy looks sexy on you.”
Sam sniffed miserably. “Yeah?” Her eyes closed at the touch of soft lips against her jaw. She moaned when a small hand smoothed under her tank and felt under her breast, hefting the weight and testing the flesh with firm fingers.
Sam dribbled like melting candlewax down the pillows, keening softly in want.
Janet’s breath was hot inside her ear. “Very.”
Pairing: Sam/Janet
Rating: adult
Summary: SG-1 make the horrifying discovery that Janet Fraiser has been host to a Goa’uld for the past three years.
This chapter: The story concludes.
She felt like a teenager fumbling her key into the front door. Her cheeks flushed, feeling Janet’s charmed gaze watching her clumsy performance. Finally she could kick open the door and distinctly heard Janet chuckle as she entered the house.
The women met in the living room. It struck Sam painfully the way Janet explored the interior with her eyes wide in wonder, how her fingers brushed along the back of the sofa reverently. A rush of emotion surged up her throat as Janet closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath and hummed in familiarity. To think the woman remembered her scent was unexpectedly rousing.
She cleared her throat awkwardly. “I can, uh...I can sleep on the couch if...”
Janet scoffed and grinned as she moved close to Sam. She tenderly brushed a lock of her hair across her brow.
“I want to fall asleep knowing you’re right there beside me.”
Shivers clamoured down Sam’s spine. Janet’s eyes looked rich and deep. “Okay. I...I kept a lot of your clothes. Here.”
She didn’t see the suspicious smirk on Janet’s lips as she led the woman to her bedroom.
She opened the top drawer of her dresser and began to take out some soft, pale items she’d kept. Sam’s breath quivered when Janet’s body eased against her to peer into the drawer. Her small hand came down, stopping her removing anything else.
“The shirt is fine.” Janet gently took the garment from Sam’s hand. She looked back inside the drawer again, and made a small noise. She seemed to know what purpose the drawer had served in all the years Sam had believed she’d lost the woman she loved. She tenderly removed Sam’s arm from inside the drawer and closed it.
“Uhh,” Sam began as Janet draped the shirt over the end of the bed and started to remove her shoes. “I’m sorry I’ll...sorry.” Stop starting, Sam turned with the intention of leaving the room. Janet grabbed her arm.
“It’s alright, Sam.” She smiled at her as she stepped out of her pants and pulled off her top. Sam just watched, jaw hanging. Just as Janet reached behind to remove her bra, Sam let her eyes sink shut. She could only hear the sounds of her lover dressing for bed.
A hand on her arm made her jump.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Sam opened her eyes and turned only to see Janet’s arm disappear into bathroom. Sam turned about anxiously, her breath in short gasps. She decided to get ready for bed. She was just pulling a take down over her midriff when she heard Janet return.
Her hair was down, and despite the lack of shine and vitality, Sam was moved by how natural she looked. Her pale, washed face looked almost grey, but Sam thought she had never seen her more beautiful.
Janet climbed into bed. Sam clenched her jaw, silently scolding herself for being so nervous. Her lover smiled, inviting Sam in beside her.
Sam pulled back the covers, sliding herself under the sheets, trembling. Janet rubbed her hand over her thigh over the covers.
“Okay. Go ahead. Get it all off your chest.”
“What?”
Janet giggled quietly. “Everything that’s making you so uncomfortable. You can ask me anything. Tell me anything. Just, let’s get it all out tonight.”
Sam tensed. “Janet...”
Janet’s voice was light. “Anything. Go on.”
Sam snorted through a shameful smirk and her gaze fell into her lap. “I...went to Atlantis.”
“I know.”
Sam stared at her.
“Teal’c filled me in. On everything that happened the past two years.”
Sam gripped her hands together, her eyes evasive. “I...I told myself Nephthys could have known the Ancients originated from the Pegasus galaxy but...I still feel like I gave up searching for you.”
“Nephthys did go to the Pegasus galaxy.”
Sam looked up at her. Her heart had caught in her throat. “...What?”
Janet smiled warmly at her, and gently brushed her cheek with the back of her finger. “You should know by now, Sam. You’re right about everything.”
Her time in Atlantis played in her mind, from the moment she began her leadership. The change of environment had been good for her, and it was liberating to be among people who didn’t know her as deeply as Daniel and Teal’c. She could hide her feelings more easily.
To think she had been so close to finding Nephthys made her heart ache. “I didn’t...”
“She went looking for Atlantis,” Janet explained. “The city wasn’t where she thought it would be.”
Sam bounced on the bed, slapping her knees. “That’s because we had to leave that planet to escape the Replicators!”
Janet beamed endearingly. “I know.”
Sam shook her head, disappointed in herself and regretting everything that happened. She couldn’t believe how calm and understanding Janet was being.
She felt her lover’s hand squeeze her thigh. “Nephthys quickly learned that people from Atlantis were exploring the galaxy, fighting the Wraith and the Replicators. It wasn’t hard for her to track you down.”
“She found us?”
“She had phasing technology, remember? She explored the city out of phase. She...taunted me. So many times I was so close to you. Nephthys could have easily...”
Sam shuddered, feeling chills prickle the back of her neck.
Janet’s beautiful eyes drifted downward to her lap. “Part of her...part of her would have killed you. Another part of her...was in as much pain as I was.”
Seeing her struggle, Sam reached around her back and held her. Janet sniffed, and nudged her nose briefly with the back of her finger.
“Feeling that way was the reason she eventually left. She returned to the Milky Way galaxy. And I thought...at least you were alright. You were living your life. You were still part of the fight.”
Janet heaved and her head tilted with emotional difficulty. Sam chewed her lip in anticipation. She was suddenly afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle what Janet told her. She couldn’t let her down.
Janet shook her head, her gaze still in her lap. “She’d been through some terrible things, Sam. Too much of it is so awful I can’t...”
Sam felt tears biting her eyes. She held Janet more firmly in her arm and felt the smaller woman shudder.
“They’re just flashes and impressions of crippling terror. I’m a doctor. I hate to see people, anyone, suffer. I knew what she was and the things, horrible, shocking things she’d done but I knew a side of her that was so alone and so afraid and in so much pain.”
“You helped her,” Sam realized.
Janet gave a small nod. She opened her hands and looked into her palms. “Nephthys was protecting that city.”
Sam reared in doubt and confusion.
“Those people you tried to help, they were bandits who had free reign of the city before Nephthys returned. She drove them back. I know it wasn’t out of kindness. The city was hers and she simply reclaimed it.”
It was shocking, to say the least. Although good people normally didn’t shoot strangers dead before finding out for sure who they were and where their allegiances were. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising. It was still unsettling to realize she and her team had been at the mercy of criminals without even knowing. How easily they had been fooled.
Sam blinked and felt a stab of pain at the sight of a tear pat softly on the bedsheet over Janet’s lap.
“Part of me mourns her, Sam.” She started to cry and Sam felt useless. “I...I knew her as well as I could know myself and...she was all I had for so long and now she’s...she’s not there.”
Sam rubbed her hand up Janet’s arm and held her shoulder. She tenderly stroked her fingers through her hair. “I know.”
“She was cruel. She was a sick...twisted killer.” Janet sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand and uttered an ironic laugh. “God. How can I feel like this?”
Sam leaned into her, resting her cheek against her hair. “Your consciousness was shared with hers. Everything she felt, you felt. That kind of relationship...it’s more than intense. It’s not something you can just recover from. That consciousness becomes a part of you as though it had always been there.”
She kissed Janet’s hair and draw gentle circles around her cheek. “If...if you need someone to talk to about it I’m sure Vala wouldn’t mind. She’s helping Ba’al’s host at the moment, too.”
The sound of Janet snorting surprised her. “You really want me spending more time with Vala?”
Sam smiled. “I’m not threatened by her.”
Janet pulled aside and turned her head to look her in the eye. “Really?”
Sam set her features firmly. “Really. It’s fine.”
Janet pouted. “Oh. Well, that’s no fun.”
Sam’s lips curved. “You want me to feel threatened?”
Janet narrowed her eyes mischievously. “I think you would be if you only knew the kind of memories I have of her...” Her gaze lifted reflectively. “Mmmm...Oh yeah. That’s a good one. Ohhhh...”
Sam gradually frowned in concern. “Hey, stop it!”
Janet bit her bottom lip indulgently. “Mmmm...” It was only when one of her hands slipped and moved under the sheets that Sam’s eyes flashed.
“Alright! Alright.”
Janet chuckled triumphantly.
Sam huffed and slouched against the pillows. “I guess it does...worry me. A little.”
Janet reached for her. “Jealousy looks sexy on you.”
Sam sniffed miserably. “Yeah?” Her eyes closed at the touch of soft lips against her jaw. She moaned when a small hand smoothed under her tank and felt under her breast, hefting the weight and testing the flesh with firm fingers.
Sam dribbled like melting candlewax down the pillows, keening softly in want.
Janet’s breath was hot inside her ear. “Very.”