Time To Pretend: Engine Heart (7)
“Hi.”
“Booze.”
“Pardon?” Kat swivels as a rush of blonde hair storms past her, “Is that how you greet your best mate? ‘Booze?’”
Lily crouches, tears through a drawer in the kitchen, “I need booze.”
“Ok a) you sounded plenty hammered on the message b) third drawer from the left c) like, what the fuck?”
Lily opens the drawer, exclaims “AHA!” untwists the cap, and chugs, “I fucking hate Gin. Tastes like rubbing alcohol.”
Kat chuckles, closes the door. Sits her down on a chair, forces herself to ask, “Where’s the boyfriend then?”
“Fucking parking.”
“Not just parking? He’s fucking parking?”
“Oh fuck off. He’s being a bit of a twat.” Lily takes a swig again, “Sorry. We just fought the entire way here. I need to get off my face as soon as possible.”
Kat gets up, snatches the bottle away from Lily, “Well getting off your face by yourself is not half as fun as getting off your face with friends. But I would like to be sober to meet your ‘lovely’ boyfriend. So, wait like, 20 minutes would you? I would like to, like, I don’t know, make a good impression.” She places the bottle down on the table, “Does he know?”
Lily snaps her head towards her; grins a bit, “What? That we snog quite a bit at work?”
“That’s not how I would put it, but-“ Kat sighs “Yes. That.”
“Aw Kitty, you’re so cute when nervous.” Lily gets up, wraps her arms around Kat. Her face somehow meets Kat’s neck. Makes Kat shiver. “And yes he does know. I mean; his dad directed my episode.”
Something dies in Kat’s heart, like a baby woodland creature, or something that was still naive. Something cute and furry and hopeful-Just dies, keels over and fucking kicks the bucket. And, god, does it hurt. Then Kat’s tongue swells or something, because her tongue ring is pushing hard against her teeth; like she has to physically stop herself from screaming on the top of her lungs. And all that comes out is a measly “Oh.” And then a forced smile, “Working your way up to the top, are we, Loveless?”
--
Kat deserves a fucking BAFTA-no, fuck it-an Academy fucking Award for that performance. Instead Lily’s elbow meets her rib, and a hushed, “don’t tell anyone.”
--
Enter William Massey, Lily Loveless’s good-looking boyfriend. Makes the two girls spring apart, as if hugging is against the rules of straight dating.
And Kat is somewhat disappointed. Kind of wished he looked like a goblin, or something hideous. But he doesn’t. Then the worst of it all comes, Kat finds out that William, or Will, or in Lily’s terms, “Jackie Chan” (Lily explains William’s obsession with Jackie Chan movies), is nice, and polite, and funny.
Kat almost regrets wishing him to go die in a gutter. Almost.
--
After a bottle of Gin, and half a bottle of Tequila, “So, Kat.”
“Yes, Will?”
“You snog my girlfriend?”
“I do.” She’s pissed enough that she doesn’t even try to hide her smirk, and her skewed stare at Lily.
“Is she behaving?”
“Jesus, Will.” Lily slaps his chest, “I’m not a fucking dog.”
Kat laughs. Takes a huge gulp of tequila, “Not really. Quite a tease, your girlfriend.”
“Oh, yes. I know. And quite hard to catch.”
Not in my case Kat thinks. Takes another long gulp of tequila, “Really?”
“I had to literally get down on my knees, with like roses and shit, and sing her Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts just to get her to go on a date with me.”
“Who’s the song by?”
“Kat!” Lily’s voice shrills.
Kat jumps, “What?”
“The fact that you don’t know that means our friendship is officially over.” Lily dramatically throws her hands up, tosses herself over the back of the couch.
“Oh wait, let me guess. The Arctic Monkeys?”
Will nods, whilst grabbing Lily and pulling her into his lap. Then he tickles her. Lily screams. Kat has to go to the bathroom.
--
She’s not exactly sturdy on her feet, which makes peeing all the harder. And washing her hands. And trying not to pull every hair out of her head.
Then the door flies open, and Kat’s so startled that she forgets to stand; topples over.
Somehow Lily ends up on the floor with her.
“Where’d you go?” Lily asks.
Kat rolls her eyes, in attempt to chide Lily for the stupid question, “Uh, this place called the bathroom.”
“Oh. I thought-“ Lily giggles, “I thought you had run away.”
Kat tries to look baffled, “What? Why would I do that, and miss the presence of your ever so lovely director’s son boyfriend?”
“Cunt.”
“You love it.”
Lily sways; moves closer to Kat. Whispers, “Do you like him?”
“Your boyfriend? Or Simon?”
Lily glares at her. Kat mimics the look, then plants a kiss on Lily’s nose, “He’s lovely. Really is.”
Lily touches her nose, “Good.” Returns the kiss on Kat’s nose.
Then they just stare. And Kat’s sick of staring, so she closes her eyes. Pretends that she’s a space monkey or whatever. Tries to settle her swaying head that is somehow nearing Lily’s face. Feels Lily’s breath on her lips. Pries open her eyes to find Lily searing holes in them. The closeness-the proximity of the two girls feels eerily right.
Lily murmurs, “Say something.” Even bites her lip like in the scene.
Which forces Kat to snap out of the drunken trance, realizes the present reality. Responds with a sly, “You’re drunk” and pulls away; laughs; catches her breath. Notices Lily’s slightly drooped face. She wants to believe it’s disappointment, but she knows better. Kat sighs again, and pulls herself up, with help from her sink.
“Come on, Loveless. Don’t want the boyfriend to think you’ve snuck off to come snog me.” Neither one of them laughs.
But after a thirty second silence, Lily smiles, grabs Kat’s hand, pulls herself up, “Right. Wouldn’t want that. I’ve got to pee though, so out you go.” Lily snatches her hand away, like it was on fire. Wipes it on her pants.
Kat starts toward the door, and then turns back. Feels obliged to say it, “He’s really good, Lils. Even if he is the director’s son. Will’s good-he is a good catch. I’m jealous.”
--
The happy couple departs at 11:00, leaving Kat terribly lonely. Eats a whole barrel of ice cream.
--
Meg comes home rip-roaring drunk at 12:30, knocks loudly on Kat’s door.
“Are you up, twinsies?” Meg shouts/whispers.
“Meg, what?”
The door opens, and a red faced Meg peeks in. “Coast all clear? No randoms? Or non-randoms who happen to be our cast-mates, or life-time friends?”
“Oh fuck off. What’d you like, want then?
“Just wanted to see my sistah.” Meg snaps her fingers, attempts to impersonate a chav. Fails.
“Ok. You’ve seen me. Now get out?” Kat hikes up her covers.
“One more thing.”
“Jesus Christ. What?”
“I need some condoms.”
Kat rips open her desk, throws a handful at Meg, along with a “GET THE FUCK OUT YOU TWAT.”
--
“Hello.” A deep voice comes from behind. Kat hunches more into her bowl of cereal. If I can’t see you, then you can’t see me. I’m invisible.
“Hi, I’m Mike.” The man extends his hand, sits down at the fucking table with her. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Kat grunts, continues with her cereal.
“So you’re twins then?” The man says.
“Nope.”
“I thought-I’m sorry-I’m confus-“
“I’m sorry, who are you, and what are you doing in my house?” Kat tries her hardest not to be rude, but when it is 5 in the morning, and she has a call time at 6:30, her rude slips out.
“I’m-erm-I’m” Mike seems a little stunned, “I’m a friend of Megs.”
“Ah. Well, sorry to be chafe, but I have to go work. So nice to meet you, Mark. I hope you and my lovely twat of a sister make the most of your morning.” She chucks her bowl into the sink, grabs her coat; storms out.
Doesn’t hear the “It’s Mike” as she slams the door behind her.
“Met my sister, have you?” Meg comes down the stairs.
“Yeah.” Mike leans up for a kiss. “She’s a bit of a bitch.”
Meg laughs, kisses Mike again, and grabs a banana.
--
Kat wants it to be awkward. But it’s not. Lily acts as if they didn’t almost kiss on her bathroom floor, and Kat has to go along with it. Because that’s what friends do she thinks. Though even in her head it doesn’t sound convincing.
But there they are on the floor, passing around a vodka bottle filled with water, giggling, creating sexual tension that was already there, and slipping into characters who miraculously have less complicated lives than Kathryn Prescott.
--
“Last night was fun, Kitty. The boyfriend rather liked you.”
Kat snorts at ‘the boyfriend’ as if he’s this inanimate object, or pet that Lily has-Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
“What? He did!” Lily pushes Kat. Let’s her hand linger a little on Kat’s arm.
Kat ignores it, because that’s how non-gay-friendships are. You ignore the lingering touches, and almost kisses, and flirtatious banter, because it’s all just so fucking friendly.
So Kat ignores it, says, “Sure” and places her hand on Lily’s butt, and slaps it.
See? Kathryn Prescott can do friendly.
--
“I want to meet your friends.” Kaya states; flicks her fag onto the curb.
“No you don’t.”
“Why? They are friends with you, so surely they must be somewhat interesting.”
Kat leans her head against the side of the building, looks at Kaya, “Because, like, they’re scary. Like, really really scary.”
Kaya just laughs, “And you’re not?”
Kat tackles Kaya to ground; starts to tickle her.
Kaya looks like she might have a heart attack, and Kat keeps shouting, “Take it back, you cunt.”
So Kaya does, three times. But Kat can’t seem to find it in her to stop. Until security sees them, and thinks that they are actually fighting. Pulls Kat off. They ask Kaya if she’s ok, and Kaya starts to pretend-cry. Unfortunately she’s a little too good at it; gets Kat kicked out of the hotel. Has to call to Bryan.
--
“OH MY GOD, GIRL. You brought me Effy?” Derek shouts over the music; holds Kaya’s face in his hands.
“Kaya, Derek. Her name’s Kaya.” Kat rolls her eyes. Feels like she’s introducing her girlfriend to a bunch of wild animals.
Only Kaya’s not her girlfriend. And Derek too pretty to be an animal.
Kaya grins, “You must be Derek?”
“And she knows my name. I would totally go straight for you, darling.” He embraces Kaya, but looks at Kat; winks.
At the bar, Derek whispers, “Oh my god, Kitty. She’s totally fit. Hold on to her, babe.”
Kat spends the rest of the night trying to convince Derek that Kaya’s not her girlfriend.
Only Kaya insists she is.
And then when there are 15 drunken people around them, due to Derek’s encouragement, chanting “KISS!” Kaya does. Open mouth and everything. Like she means it.
The bass of the music sounds like fireworks. The alcohol makes Kat’s chest burn, send tingling streaks of warmth throughout her body. And it kind of feels a lot like falling in love.
Only Kaya’s not her girlfriend, and Kat’s drunk.
--
They walk-stumble-back to Kat’s house. Shoes in hand, laughing.
“I like him.” Kaya chuckles, “You’re a fag-hag. You know that, right?”
Kat laughs, braces herself against a wall, “Yes. I am a fag-hag. You caught me.”
“I think I should be a detective.” Kaya leans next to Kat.
“I think you should keep your day job.” Kat looks at her, grins.
Kaya grins back, “I think I should be actress by day, hot detective by night.”
“Oh yeah, totally.” Thickens her voice with sarcasm; then falls silent. Observes as Kaya brings a cigarette to her lips; lights it.
“Hey, Miss Detective. Riddle me this?”
Kaya squints in Kat’s direction. Takes the cigarette out of her mouth, puts on a Texan accent, “What can I do for you today, Miss Prescott?”
“You kissed me. Why?”
Kaya purses her lips, then smirks, “Because.”
Kat rolls her eyes, pronounces, “I don’t think you could be more like Effy if you tried.” Takes the cigarette from Kaya’s hand. Inhales.
Feels Kaya’s gaze. Shifts.
“I think we’re all like our characters; more than we would like.” Kaya mumbles; looks at her cell-phone.
“We kind of have to be, don’t we?”
Kaya grunts. Starts typing furiously. “Jack just texted me. He’s going to come pick me up. He just got off work. So I’ll walk you to your door?”
Kat keeps mute, just nods.
At the door Kaya places a light kiss on Kat’s forehead; hugs her. “Night night, Kat. Thank you for tonight. Love you. See you Monday for spooky fucking woods.”
Kat smiles; hugs Kaya back. “I’m excited,” she rasps, then turns to the door to unlock it.
“Bye.” Kaya whispers it.
And it’s so adorable that Kat just wants to hold her, like, forever.