Fic: Happy Days Are Here Again - 5/?
Title: Happy Days Are Here Again - 5/?
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
I can’t believe that Karofsky kissed him. I don’t even understand why. Then it hits me just how closeted LGBT youth can become. I’ve talked to my fathers about this before. There is so much pressure, especially in towns like this one, to hide yourself from the outside world. That is one of the many reasons why there are only a few people in my world who know that I’m transgendered. The consequences of coming out can be dire and there are so many reasons for fear of who you are.
“I’m coming over Kurt,” I say quickly. I know that Kurt is hurting. He’s never been kissed and the assault on his person must be devastating to him. I want to help him. I swore that I would be a good friend to Kurt and I am going to keep that promise to both Kurt and to myself.
“Rachel, you really don’t have to…” he starts.
I cut him off. “I am coming over Kurt Hummel,” I say boldly.
When I get to his house I can see that he’s a wreck. He immediately ushers me to his bedroom, so I am safe in assuming that he’s keeping this from his family. The house is a mess, boxes everywhere because of the family’s impending move into their new house. Kurt sits down at the end of his bed and looks at me. I immediately rush to his bed, sit down at his side and hug him tightly. “I’m so sorry Kurt,” I say softly. I don’t know what else to say.
“I don’t know what to do,” he admits softly. “He’s threatened me about keeping it a secret. Not that I would tell or anything, of course, but he scares me.”
“He threatened you?” I say, immediately incited to action. “Kurt, we need to tell someone right now. I feel very sorry for David, of course, as being closeted is never something easy to deal with, but that was no reason to bring threats against you. He knows that you are a good person and the closest thing to an ally one can get in this town.”
“I can’t and won’t tell,” Kurt says immediately. “I mean, how would you feel if I went out right now and told everyone your secret? I just can’t. I have to just ignore it and hope that it goes away. I’m just really not sure what I’m supposed to do next aside from that. I just…I’m tired Rachel, I don’t know.”
I wrap my arms around him again and hold him in a tight hug. It surprises me when he cries. I have never thought about Kurt as a person who could break or cry. I’ve seen him cry before, yes, during his performances and when his father was sick, but just to see him break in such an intimate two person situation makes me feel vaguely nauseous. Kurt is always so strong and never lets anyone take care of him, but he’s letting me, so I need to be selfless and take advantage of his trust and, and care for him!
“We’re going to continue our efforts to protest the bullying,” I promise him.
“We need to create a LGBT group,” Kurt mumbles, thinking about our plans again, momentarily distracted from what Karofsky has done. Get signatures, approvals, your dads can help us fight it if need be. This school is just one of the most unsafe places for kids who don’t fit into the regular norms.”
“It does,” I say, my mind running at about a mile a minute. I hug him. “I love you Kurt, okay?”
He smiles. “Okay.”
I am determined to get my plans into action so the next day I come with a neatly typed petition for club addition and a gigantic sandwich board, which I have written: “Join the fight for diversity! Stop bullying at WMHS!” in bright red lettering with rainbows and gold stars and wear around my neck. At lunch, I stand in the hall, just in front of the cafeteria, trying to collect signatures. I manage a few. Tina comes up to me, of course, and signs. Puck looks at me like I’m crazy and gearing to get myself killed, but signs all the same.
It goes alright until Azimio slushies me.
I groan and close my eyes as the cold red liquid bath splashes me in the face. It messes with my board but luckily I have colored the other side just in case. I turn my board on the other side and sit it by my side after I clean up, afraid that it would take the brunt of another slushie attack. I am unfortunately, approached by worse bullies, ones that masquerade as friends from time to time: Quinn and Santana.
“Do you really think that anything is going to end bullying here?” Quinn scoffs. “It never ends.”
“You’re not even gay, Berry,” Santana snaps. “Stop trying to get attention.”
“Do you two have any idea how badly people like Kurt are bullied?” I ask, infuriated. These girls are not only supposed to be my friends, but they’re supposed to be Kurt’s friends. Kurt, who they have to see being harassed mercilessly,. “Do you guys even give a damn about how much your friend suffers?”
“Shut it, Man Hands,” Quinn quips before the girls turn to walk off. I wince at the sting of their insults. The ones insinuating I’m masculine are always the worse, but usually I brush them off. They scare me, make me worry that I’m not passing as well as I could and they burn, they burn deep.
“Quinn.”
I turn around to see Finn standing beside us. He looks absolutely pissed off and my heart leaps in my throat when I realize that he is planning on defending my honor. “Rachel doesn’t deserve this crap,” he yells at Quinn. “She’s always up in front, doing the right thing and not caring what people think about her. I honestly, I honestly gotta admit that I’m not always brave enough to stop caring but that’s Rachel. She’s someone you should be looking up to for what a girl our age should act like.”
It dissolves pretty quickly, Santana and Quinn leaving and rolling their eyes, but I am so in love with Finn my heart hurts. I stare at him. “Finn,” I say softly. “I think that’s very possibly the sweetest thing that you’ve ever done for me.”
He shrugs a little bit, looking sheepish. “I know that it probably hurts for Quinn and people to say things like that,” he says delicately. He doesn’t really know how to express what he’s saying but I get it. It is hurtful when they make comments about me like that. I wrap my arms around Finn and hug him tightly. He blushes.
“It’s always hurt,” I admit, “when girls that look like that say that I’m masculine or have man hands or look like RuPaul or whatever. It’s like I failed trying to me who I am.”
He sighs and holds my hand. “So what is this all about?” he asks, looking at my poster, which is still a little red around the edges from the slushie, despite being turned around. “Is this something that you and Kurt are doing?”
I nod. “Kurt and I are staring a club on campus for LGBT teenagers,” I explain. “We want to do something kind of like a gay straight alliance, but without the restrictive title. We just want to do something about the bullying on campus. It’s horrible in general but it’s even worse for openly gay people like Kurt. He’s really having a hard time.”
“I sort of have started to notice that,” Finn said sadly. “I’d be glad to help you out Rachel.”
I smile and kiss his cheek. “You’re wonderful Finn. Start by signing here?” I hand him my sign-up sheet. He takes it and signs his name. It’s a start.
Over the next week and a half, Kurt and I make progress. It’s not that much progress, but it is progress all the same. I do something that is a little bit sexist, to be honest, and ask the boys to keep a watch out for Karofsky. Finn is hesitant, which irritates me to no end. He still has so much to learn about image. Even though Kurt has told me a lot about his bullying, I know he hasn’t told me the half of it. A few days after I tell them to do this, Sam winds up with a gigantic bruise. Violence is not the answer but Karofsky is obviously reacting with violence to his own pressures so what has to be done has to be done.
The Hummel-Hudson wedding is on a lovely Saturday afternoon and creeps up in no time at all.
I approach Finn, wearing the red dress I had prepared especially for the occasion. “You look beautiful,” he says, something that eases my fears immensely, considering that I feel vulnerable, masculine, not good enough when I wear clothing like this. Finn, although he makes mistakes, knows how to get to me.
Pairing: Rachel/Finn, Strong Rachel/Kurt friendship.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Rachel Berry has a secret she wants to reveal but is far too afraid to do so.
Warnings: Transgendered Character, Transphobia,
AN: Previous chapters can be found here.
I can’t believe that Karofsky kissed him. I don’t even understand why. Then it hits me just how closeted LGBT youth can become. I’ve talked to my fathers about this before. There is so much pressure, especially in towns like this one, to hide yourself from the outside world. That is one of the many reasons why there are only a few people in my world who know that I’m transgendered. The consequences of coming out can be dire and there are so many reasons for fear of who you are.
“I’m coming over Kurt,” I say quickly. I know that Kurt is hurting. He’s never been kissed and the assault on his person must be devastating to him. I want to help him. I swore that I would be a good friend to Kurt and I am going to keep that promise to both Kurt and to myself.
“Rachel, you really don’t have to…” he starts.
I cut him off. “I am coming over Kurt Hummel,” I say boldly.
When I get to his house I can see that he’s a wreck. He immediately ushers me to his bedroom, so I am safe in assuming that he’s keeping this from his family. The house is a mess, boxes everywhere because of the family’s impending move into their new house. Kurt sits down at the end of his bed and looks at me. I immediately rush to his bed, sit down at his side and hug him tightly. “I’m so sorry Kurt,” I say softly. I don’t know what else to say.
“I don’t know what to do,” he admits softly. “He’s threatened me about keeping it a secret. Not that I would tell or anything, of course, but he scares me.”
“He threatened you?” I say, immediately incited to action. “Kurt, we need to tell someone right now. I feel very sorry for David, of course, as being closeted is never something easy to deal with, but that was no reason to bring threats against you. He knows that you are a good person and the closest thing to an ally one can get in this town.”
“I can’t and won’t tell,” Kurt says immediately. “I mean, how would you feel if I went out right now and told everyone your secret? I just can’t. I have to just ignore it and hope that it goes away. I’m just really not sure what I’m supposed to do next aside from that. I just…I’m tired Rachel, I don’t know.”
I wrap my arms around him again and hold him in a tight hug. It surprises me when he cries. I have never thought about Kurt as a person who could break or cry. I’ve seen him cry before, yes, during his performances and when his father was sick, but just to see him break in such an intimate two person situation makes me feel vaguely nauseous. Kurt is always so strong and never lets anyone take care of him, but he’s letting me, so I need to be selfless and take advantage of his trust and, and care for him!
“We’re going to continue our efforts to protest the bullying,” I promise him.
“We need to create a LGBT group,” Kurt mumbles, thinking about our plans again, momentarily distracted from what Karofsky has done. Get signatures, approvals, your dads can help us fight it if need be. This school is just one of the most unsafe places for kids who don’t fit into the regular norms.”
“It does,” I say, my mind running at about a mile a minute. I hug him. “I love you Kurt, okay?”
He smiles. “Okay.”
I am determined to get my plans into action so the next day I come with a neatly typed petition for club addition and a gigantic sandwich board, which I have written: “Join the fight for diversity! Stop bullying at WMHS!” in bright red lettering with rainbows and gold stars and wear around my neck. At lunch, I stand in the hall, just in front of the cafeteria, trying to collect signatures. I manage a few. Tina comes up to me, of course, and signs. Puck looks at me like I’m crazy and gearing to get myself killed, but signs all the same.
It goes alright until Azimio slushies me.
I groan and close my eyes as the cold red liquid bath splashes me in the face. It messes with my board but luckily I have colored the other side just in case. I turn my board on the other side and sit it by my side after I clean up, afraid that it would take the brunt of another slushie attack. I am unfortunately, approached by worse bullies, ones that masquerade as friends from time to time: Quinn and Santana.
“Do you really think that anything is going to end bullying here?” Quinn scoffs. “It never ends.”
“You’re not even gay, Berry,” Santana snaps. “Stop trying to get attention.”
“Do you two have any idea how badly people like Kurt are bullied?” I ask, infuriated. These girls are not only supposed to be my friends, but they’re supposed to be Kurt’s friends. Kurt, who they have to see being harassed mercilessly,. “Do you guys even give a damn about how much your friend suffers?”
“Shut it, Man Hands,” Quinn quips before the girls turn to walk off. I wince at the sting of their insults. The ones insinuating I’m masculine are always the worse, but usually I brush them off. They scare me, make me worry that I’m not passing as well as I could and they burn, they burn deep.
“Quinn.”
I turn around to see Finn standing beside us. He looks absolutely pissed off and my heart leaps in my throat when I realize that he is planning on defending my honor. “Rachel doesn’t deserve this crap,” he yells at Quinn. “She’s always up in front, doing the right thing and not caring what people think about her. I honestly, I honestly gotta admit that I’m not always brave enough to stop caring but that’s Rachel. She’s someone you should be looking up to for what a girl our age should act like.”
It dissolves pretty quickly, Santana and Quinn leaving and rolling their eyes, but I am so in love with Finn my heart hurts. I stare at him. “Finn,” I say softly. “I think that’s very possibly the sweetest thing that you’ve ever done for me.”
He shrugs a little bit, looking sheepish. “I know that it probably hurts for Quinn and people to say things like that,” he says delicately. He doesn’t really know how to express what he’s saying but I get it. It is hurtful when they make comments about me like that. I wrap my arms around Finn and hug him tightly. He blushes.
“It’s always hurt,” I admit, “when girls that look like that say that I’m masculine or have man hands or look like RuPaul or whatever. It’s like I failed trying to me who I am.”
He sighs and holds my hand. “So what is this all about?” he asks, looking at my poster, which is still a little red around the edges from the slushie, despite being turned around. “Is this something that you and Kurt are doing?”
I nod. “Kurt and I are staring a club on campus for LGBT teenagers,” I explain. “We want to do something kind of like a gay straight alliance, but without the restrictive title. We just want to do something about the bullying on campus. It’s horrible in general but it’s even worse for openly gay people like Kurt. He’s really having a hard time.”
“I sort of have started to notice that,” Finn said sadly. “I’d be glad to help you out Rachel.”
I smile and kiss his cheek. “You’re wonderful Finn. Start by signing here?” I hand him my sign-up sheet. He takes it and signs his name. It’s a start.
Over the next week and a half, Kurt and I make progress. It’s not that much progress, but it is progress all the same. I do something that is a little bit sexist, to be honest, and ask the boys to keep a watch out for Karofsky. Finn is hesitant, which irritates me to no end. He still has so much to learn about image. Even though Kurt has told me a lot about his bullying, I know he hasn’t told me the half of it. A few days after I tell them to do this, Sam winds up with a gigantic bruise. Violence is not the answer but Karofsky is obviously reacting with violence to his own pressures so what has to be done has to be done.
The Hummel-Hudson wedding is on a lovely Saturday afternoon and creeps up in no time at all.
I approach Finn, wearing the red dress I had prepared especially for the occasion. “You look beautiful,” he says, something that eases my fears immensely, considering that I feel vulnerable, masculine, not good enough when I wear clothing like this. Finn, although he makes mistakes, knows how to get to me.