Byun Baek’s Magical Adventure [1/2]
Title: Byun Baek's Magical Adventure
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: alphataurus
Pairing: OT3: Baekhyun/Chanyeol/Kris (friendship)
Word Count: 13,372
Summary: Baekhyun's a 22 year old with a deadbeat job as a magician's assistant. He just wants a taste of real magic--and so he gets it.
Warnings: mentions of violence
Rating: PG-13
One
It’s a hot summer day, sweltering heat making the distance distorted in visions of waves. Baekhyun was riding by on his tricycle with his blue shorts riding up his legs and his white shirt rolled up to his shoulders. Sunscreen forgone had left his skin with a darker tint of pink, something his mommy will definitely yell at him for later. Despite the sweat that sticks to their skin like a second layer of clothing, the boys in the neighborhood gather around the block to watch one of the older teens do magic tricks.
It’s Tao, who has always been the most popular for being nice to all the younger ones instead of scorning them for being young. He’s wearing a plain tee with shorts of a peculiar patter in contrast to his usual leather jacket and ripped jeans, which is a nice change because it makes him appear more approachable. It’s one of the reasons why Baekhyun decides to join the group instead of biking away.
Tao is more popular with the older kids than the younger, with his bad boy style and charismatic stare. Even the parents grudgingly like him despite his image because he’s a foreign boy who has courageously come to a different country for the sake of studying. It’s a surprise that he’s even here today at all when he could be hanging out with his friends or trying to keep up his scholarship. Not the rowdy little kids around here that Tao claims to also be his friends-but the friends that are around Tao’s age. Girls and boys alike vie for Tao’s attention, but he’s always paid attention to whatever he wanted to pay attention too.
That’s cool, that’s why Baekhyun wants to be like Tao.
Tao seems cool even when he’s complaining about how someone is clinging onto his shoulders too tightly. It’s easy to shove and complain to this hyung because Tao will allow it, but when he raises a finger to his lips, silence falls as they all eagerly await his next words.
Baekhyun is one of the younger and shorter ones, having to stand on the tips of his toes just to be able to have a slightly decent view. Just like every other kid, he’s curious about what the whole fuss is about.
“Look closely,” he says. They all lean in, focused on his hands where two coins lay. It’s just two regular coins. Tao makes a show of letting everyone touch the coins, to feel the realness, before he clenches his hands tightly. Baekhyun gets one fleeting touch of warm alloy before the magic trick continues. He makes eye contact with Tao and smiles tentatively, beaming giddily when he receives a smile in return.
“Now everyone count to three,” he urges. They all count hurriedly, loudly, and excitedly except for Baekhyun who stands by the side quietly and mouths the words. His heart is thudding in his chest even though he knows that the coins will disappear. Goosebumps rake Baekhyun’s arms and he plays it off as extreme anticipation, but he doesn’t get to dwell on it for long because Tao is revealing his hands.
Tao opens one hand, a coin is still there.
He opens his other hand-and there is nothing. Logically, he knew what was going to happen, but also logically, there was nowhere for the coin to disappear to. Tao is wearing something short-sleeved, so it couldn’t be up his sleeves and his hands hadn’t reached anywhere near his pockets.
“Where did it go?” Murmurs of confusion erupt as hands start patting Tao everywhere for his second coin. Two flipped out pockets and two rolled sleeves later, Tao makes a noise-like he’s just remembered something.
“What is your name?”
He’s staring straight at Baekhyun, who flounders for a bit before he says, almost questioningly, “My name is Baekhyun?”
“Baekhyun, I think I dropped something in your pocket by accident. Can you check to see if it’s there?” Baekhyun’s eyes widen in surprise, jamming one hand into his left pocket to find nothing. He jams his other hand into his right pocket expecting to find nothing, but his fingers brush something warm and round.
He takes it out of his pocket and everyone is pushing to look at what’s in Baekhyun’s hand. It’s the coin.
Baekhyun whips his head around to look at Tao, eyes widening in confusion. The hand gripping the coin tightens, the coin remains solid and Baekhyun can see Tao’s amusement at Baekhyun’s perplexion.
“The closer you look, the less you see.” Everyone breaks out into applauses while Baekhyun tries handing the coin back to Tao who shakes his head. “You should keep it. You’re going to need it someday.”
“Baekhyun’s just going to buy some gumballs with it later, you should just give it to me,” Jongdae whines. Gasping, Baekhyun waggles his hand at his friend.
“No, I would never do that.” He looks up to Tao with wide eyes, as if it’ll convince Tao of his innocent thoughts.
“I believe you,” Tao says, “I have no reason not to.” Somehow, looking into Tao’s eyes, he doesn’t doubt that even though he has reasons to.
And just like that, Tao stands up and ruffles everyone’s hairs while they complain. “I have to go now, but I’ll be back before you even know it.” For some reason, Baekhyun’s heart aches.
“Will you really?” His voice is mournful even though he knows Tao will come back. Tao always come back every week. Tao’s smile is painful; it’s similar to how Chanyeol looks when he sees a cat he can’t touch even though he really, really, wants to.
“I’ll come back for you,” Tao says, sticking out his pinky. For once, his hands are free of obnoxiously large rings that have skulls and crosses on them. Baekhyun sticks out his smaller pinky and intertwines them with Tao’s.
“Promises are very powerful,” Tao muses, “sometimes, they can even transcend time.”
Right now, Baekhyun’s not sure what ‘transcend’ means but he thinks it’s a level four vocabulary word so it must be real important. He nods his head solemnly.
Tao doesn’t come back next week, or the next. But somehow Baekhyun knows that it’s not the last he’s seen of Tao.
÷
Dinner is a normal affair with one mother, one father, and one child. Baekhyun is that child that sits next to his mother and in front of his imposing father. His father is the one that has one can of beer in front of him, and one slightly crushed packet of cigarettes to his left. His mother is the one that has one string of pearls on her neck, and one set of freshly manicured nails from the afternoon. Baekhyun has one bruise from bumping his head on his side table this morning, and two parents that shower him in their lackluster love.
He’s playing with the coin Tao gave him at the dinner table until his mother admonishes him for bringing dirty things to the table, and she makes him put it away in his pocket and wash his hands for the second time.
He doesn’t feel much of anything if he’s being honest. But he still says a quiet, “okay,” when his mother tells him with mild concern, “I think you’ve been getting into the wrong crowd of people.” In fact, all Baekhyun really does is roll his broccoli with his fork-even if broccoli doesn’t really roll. He knows he’s not hanging out with wrong people because those people make him feel good about himself. If anything, he’s probably hanging around the wrong crowd of people just being at home.
They’re eating chow mein from microwavable meals that have been dumped unceremoniously unto clean plates with steamed vegetables on the side. Baekhyun’s certain that the vegetables are not fresh because he saw them being taken out of the freezer, but he’s also certain that they’re fresher than the microwaved chow mein that tastes like it’s been premade months in advance. It’s cheap and efficient when one simply does not have the time to come home and make home cooked meals for their growing children. He likes to think with damp excitement that he he’s merely adapting to the new culture of the current generation. People have to adapt to survive to their environment-conform to society; he has to conform, for society.
“So, who’s paying the bill for next month’s rent?” He tunes out the sounds of his parents in favor of listening to the sounds of forks and knives scrapping ceramic plates until they blend into one dully screeching noise of false security.
÷
Oh his first day of high school, he trudges home with the reluctance of a person that would rather be anywhere else but where he’s intending to go. His parents will say things they don’t mean; his parents will ask him things that have answers they don’t want to hear. It’s all very repetitive and pretentious; the best way to make it stop is to say, “Everything’s fine.” Baekhyun will save his breath because he doesn’t feel like listening to half-hearted admonishments that tear down his soul even if his parents don’t know that it does.
The first day of a new grade is nothing spectacular, people come and go all the time. There’s excitement buzzing because people are seeing people they haven’t seen in a while but that’s really not everything that is going on; Baekhyun can tell. If people really wanted to see each other then they would make the effort to see each other regardless of where they are. Maybe he’s just bitter but what he really thinks is that it’s just a chance for people to show off about their new clothes, new experiences in foreign countries, new ways that they’re better than everyone else.
That’s why nothing really happens on Baekhyun’s first day of school. No one likes him enough to approach him but no one hates him enough to go out of their way to spite him after learning who he is during their initial curiosity. It’s kind of like being ignored without the underlying tension of emotions being bottled up. No one’s ignoring him but no one is noticing him either and it does feel a bit lonely but he’s not lonely enough to reach out to others. (There is also the possibility that he’s extremely lonely but too used to being alone to accept change when his highest form of happiness has always been a muted joy. He’s afraid of what true happiness might feel like.)
Baekhyun has trouble blending in with everyone else because while everyone is trying their hardest to stand out, he’s just normal. He spent his summer sitting in his room, staring outside the window and wondering about what he could be doing if he had the money. He doesn’t want a fancy car, he doesn’t want a fancy phone, he just wants to maybe share a sundae with a friend and feed ducks stale bread at the park. Every day he wonders what would happen if he went outside and did something different. He wonders what would happen if he tried to live a little.
His parents ask him about his day when he gets home, after his mother reminds him to put the shoes back on the shoe rack properly. So he tells him, even if it’s not like they really care.
People think Baekhyun’s special because he’s been homeschooled until now. Sure, it’s a little different than being in school but that doesn’t mean he was a social hermit. So they think he must have loads of stories to tell because he’s different. Like he’s an entire species of his own. But that wasn’t the case at all; he had the kids in the neighborhood and that was quite alright. But they still pester him for stories because that’s what they do in high school, always nosing about in other people’s business.
Baekhyun doesn’t really have much stories; he just has a tale of an old summer and an old coin to prove it. When it finally gets into their heads that Baekhyun is normal, they leave him alone.
“Never did think you’d be like me,” his father grunts. And thank god for that, Baekhyun thinks.
The vegetables aren’t fresh. Routines don’t change and Baekhyun still has his coin sitting in his pocket at dinner table.
“So, who’s paying the bill for next month’s rent?”
÷
Fast forward thirteen years and Baekhyun’s a twenty-two year old with a gig as a magician’s assistant to help pay for rent and college fees. He’s majoring in math, but he’s actually doing better in his Mandarin class than Calculus. Who actually needs to study functions, Baekhyun thinks bitterly, when the only math Baekhyun’s applied to real life situations is how much beer can a magician have before he’s literally too drunk to be entertaining kids. He hates his job, he hates his life, and he hates how it seems like he can’t do anything about it.
Today is one of those shit days where he’s too busy trying to settle payment options with a fussy mom to keep an eye out for Boss and his penchant for hiding flasks of whiskey in one of the hidden pockets of his coat. It’s when he hears Boss talking about magical juice that makes living with a shit salary do-able, that he knows it’s time to step in before their pay for the week turns into a double digit number.
So Baekhyun steps in, gently ushering Boss away from his makeshift stage in the living room. “Hi, my name is Baekhyun and I am the-”
“THE LOVELY MAGICHIAN ASSISANT OF THE GERATE-”
“I’m Baekhyun and I’ll be filling in for him today,” Baekhyun says with a strained smile. He hates the fact that he only landed this gig because his hands looked awfully nice doing magic tricks; they also do balloon animals for an extra fifty dollars even though that’s the job for a clown. But no, this is not a magician’s job, this is a job for lowly entertainers that work at house parties catering to kids that aren’t even old enough to watch kissing scenes in movies. If Baekhyun’s lucky, sometimes he gets the kids young enough to think that Santa still exist and magic is unexplainably real; it makes him think that sometimes he’s contributing to young peoples’ happiness. Then sometimes he gets the shitty kids that just want to try to debunk every trick in the book.
“Baekhyun-oppa,” a girl says, “what are you going to show us?”
He pretends to think.
“How about I show you a trick with two coins?” He smiles mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows like he’s sharing a secret with them.
“But first, why don’t you tell me your name?”
“Sulli! That’s a lovely name,” he praises. She smiles widely, proud of the name her mama gave her.
“There are two coins in my hands, correct?” He shows them the coins, letting them touch it before drawing it back. He rolls up his sleeves, showing his bare arms and clenches his fists tightly.
“Can you guys count to three for me?” They count in unison, one voice slightly off-beat. Baekhyun opens one palm, revealing the coin he had in his hand. While everyone has their eyes focused on his left hand, Baekhyun makes his other coin ‘disappear’ only to reappear behind Sulli’s ear. Too easy.
“Oppa, can you do a trick with a rabbit? Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?” Sulli claps her hands together, speaking excitedly with her friend Luna. The rabbit trick is one of the dullest tricks Baekhyun has ever encountered, or maybe it’s one of his most hated because he hates dealing with rabbit pellets and jumpy rabbits.
“For that kind of magic, I might require some assistance from the magician himself,” Baekhyun says. As if on cue, Boss stumbles in with a loopy smile, smelling of cheap liquor and knockoff cologne.
“And here I am,” Boss says. Baekhyun can already tell that this isn’t going to go well. Of course, instead of pulling out a rabbit, Boss pukes into the hat. Shrieks alarm the parents and Baekhyun’s just glad they aren’t charged for mental scarring.
Back in the gaudy car decorated with poorly written text on the side as advertisement for this gig, Boss wipes his dirty mouth on the sleeves of his costume coat and hands Baekhyun his soiled hat. “Clean it or replace it, it doesn’t matter. I’ll ah-I’ll give you a bit more for your next pay. Think of it as a job done in advanced for your pay,” Boss says. Gritting his teeth, Baekhyun puts the hat in two layers of plastic bags and silently prays for a miracle to pull him through making ends meet.
The thing about Boss is that he’s not a bad man even though he’s a terrible employer. Boss is just a man with a turbulent marriage due to financial issues and this was simply one of his sorry attempts at a get-rich-plan gone wrong because he doesn’t know shit about anything that isn’t easily looked up on the internet. Boss has kids, one in college and one in elementary school. Without Baekhyun, Boss would be nothing except a penniless man with a sorry attempt at being successful. (With Baekhyun, Boss is just a poor man with a sorry attempt at being successful with added aid. But at least they’re almost broke as opposed to flat-out broke.)
“Yes sir,” he says, and he’s never felt so miserable in his life.
The thing about every trick Baekhyun has helped staged so far, is that they all have a logic. There is a reason why it seems magical, and there is a reason why it is not. It’s not real magic, it’s not even an illusion; it’s just a trick of the eye. And while Baekhyun has disagreed with almost everything Boss has ever said, he has to agree with the familiarity every magician knows, “The closer you look, the less you see.”
Magician magic loses appeal when it’s scrutinized as being fake. So the object of magician magic is to make sure the audience is focused intently on the trick that they miss the real trick of the trick. It’ Of course while magic may not be validly proven to be real, Baekhyun still thinks that somewhere out there, it must be real. It may not be exactly how people imagine it, but Baekhyun assumes it would be breathtaking. It has to be.
Baekhyun drives Boss home, seeing as how he’s entirely unfit to drive. That just means that Baekhyun has to walk all the way home by himself. Luckily for himself, it begins to drizzle-and it doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. He stops, inhales the stifling sting of cold. Energy seeps out of him in cloying drags that threaten to clog his throat and seep out of his eyes in the form of bitter tears. He hates his job, he hates his life, and he hates how life never seems to work in his favor no matter what he does. Thumbing a coin in his pocket, Baekhyun decides it’s time to brave the rain and go home.
÷
It had taken him several efforts to push his key into the keyhole when his fingers were shaking and numb and so terribly, terribly cold. The tips of his fingers were a gradient of shades of purple. There was little time to feel bad about shucking his wet shoes so sloppily when his body was on the verge of giving out on him.
There’s probably something sacred about dry couches that Baekhyun is defiling by letting the wetness from his clothes seep into the interior as the clock in his kitchen ticks noisily. His wet socks prevent him from retaining any heat but it feels like so much effort just to take them off when every bone in his body is aching with or without his movement.
Eventually, he has to toe off his socks and shrug off his coat. He heads to the bathroom and dumps all his damp clothes into the hamper after peeling it off his body like a wetsuit. The hot water feels like the temporary shoulder to cry on that he really needed. Even though it’ll rack up the bills he can’t afford, he sits down in his tiny tub and draws his knees up to his chin until the water starts becoming lukewarm.
His mind races though his body is still. His mind is a flurry of chaos dulled and battered-it’s like graffiti drawn over layers and layers of graffiti until it becomes something incomprehensible-he doesn’t even know where to begin. At moments like this, he questions his life choices with a clarity his stubbornness cannot deny. There’s no future in magic unless you’re planning on going to Vegas, and even then it’s like a firm reaffirmation that magic is not real because the tricks just get trickier and deadlier and more dangerous. But are they any closer to being magical than Baekhyun is? Probably not.
But does that make him feel any better?
He scrunches up his shoulders, burying his face between the crooks of his elbows. No.
÷
Baekhyun forgoes dinner and slinks his way to his room. He feels like it’s a monumental effort to trudge himself to bed, body refusing to relax the way he wants it to and focuses his eyes into blurring the edges until his head hurts a little. Most of the time, he wishes time would pass by faster but it seems to slow down for him.
In his room, everything stops. It’s time for more thinking. Time is an idea that is created by humans. What if a million years-if that is what years really is-passed by during the time Baekhyun blinked his eyes and a few seconds pass by the time he opens his eyes again from sleep? What if he’s dead when he’s alive and alive when he’s sleeping? What if he falls into a coma to find out that he’s actually falling awake from one instead? Sometimes Baekhyun doesn’t understand himself and he’s not sure anyone else would either but he’s sure that he can’t be the only person wondering these thoughts because there are billions of people in the world and more than millions of billions if he thinks about the people that haven’t been born and people that have already died.
That’s the problem with people that think too much but don’t take action. Reality seems to be a distant prospect and fantasy begins to be a laughable possibility; but a possibility, is still a possibility. The thing about fantasy is that greatness seems to be thrown at the main character at every end of the road.
The thing about reality is that nothing ever happens-even if you want it to.
He falls asleep with a frown marring his features, thoughts of bills and upcoming exams harrowing his mind.
÷
Baekhyun wakes up in the morning with a throbbing headache and hints of a fever. It’s a little after eleven; it’s not quite noon, not quite morning. He’s practically crawling on the floor, unwilling to get up or do anything even though there are things to be done. Before he can even think of everything he has to do, his aching stomach tells him that he has to brush his teeth and make breakfast.
He sticks his toothbrush in his mouth while he fries a pair of eggs on the pan. He pokes his eggs around with a spatula while going through a mental checklist of what he has to do. He has to buy a replacement hat for Boss; the former hat turning a ghastly shade of discoloration, crusting and stinking up in his living room. It’s time had probably come around a good time as well, frayed with overuse. He also has to do his laundry and buy more groceries. Then he has to see if he has time to study, which should be a priority even though it isn’t.
His phone rings while he’s plating his breakfast onto a dish. “Hello?” It’s his parents, checking up to see how he’s doing. He walks over to the kitchen sink and rinses. He stands there watching the paste go down the drain. He tells them he’s doing fine because he knows they really just want to nag about how he’s not really going anywhere in life yet. Plus, it’s the simplest answer because he expects the reply to be, “That’s good,” and whatever else they think they should say to be good parents.
He knows they don’t really expect him to listen to whatever they’re saying for the hundredth time so he turns off the heat and puts away his toothbrush. At some point he says, “Well, it’s been good talking to you but I have to hang up now.” Sometimes he wishes that they called because they genuinely miss him but that might be too much to ask for. His eggs have started to cool.
Some people eat their eggs with ketchup, some people eat their eggs with salt and pepper, and some eat their eggs with soy sauce. Baekhyun’s more about all the sweeter things in life if he can get it, so he adds syrup. It might be gross to some people but Baekhyun’s never really been like other people.
He doesn’t leave the dishes in the sink afterwards, he’s a bit obsessive-compulsive about it. He washes what he used and he puts them out to dry on the rack. To him, it symbolizes the real start of the day.
÷
Where does one even go about looking for magician hats? Baekhyun put on his thickest coat, wandering aimlessly until he stops at a thrift shop. He feels better that it’s not incredibly shabby but it doesn’t look like it’s a place that could possibly break his wallet either. The outside of the shop could use a new coat of paint, it’s probably why it looks like there aren’t a lot of customers inside.
He pushes the door, and a bell rings above his head like the ones he sees in the movies. The shop has a rustic feel to it, selling mostly trinkets instead of hand-me-down clothing. He prods around the front of the store, but no one greets him and it doesn’t even really look like anyone’s there. He checks again, but there is a sign in front of the door that says the shop is open. Baekhyun feels a bit uneasy, like he’s intruding but his eyes catch the perfect hat and he’d be dumb to let the chance slip away when he’s so sure that he won’t be able to find another one like it somewhere else. He walks over to it, inspecting it with his fingers. It’s a good material and it’s even well-made.
He flips the hat over, turning it around and around but he doesn’t spy a price tag anywhere. He walks up to the front and nearly has a heart attack when he sees someone napping behind the counter. The flimsy nametag stuck to his shirt says that his name is Jongin. He’s eighty percent sure that person wasn’t there five minutes ago, but he’s not going to question it.
“Excuse me, but do you work here?” The male opens his eyes, rubbing them blearily.
“I guess you could say I own it.” Baekhyun’s skeptical; the kid looks like he should be in high school.
“Right, okay. Anyways, I was wondering how much this costs?” He places the hat on the counter, where Jongin takes a look at it appraisingly.
“This hat isn’t much use to me,” Jongin says, peering into the hat amusedly. He proceeds to hiss like he’s been burned and stares at the hat distastefully.
“Look, can you hurry up because time is ticking and I have places to go and people to see.” It’s not necessarily true but he does have things to do. Jongin stares at him, dropping the hat on the counter and placing his face between his palms.
“Hmm, I do think you and him will get along together quite nicely. He’s been looking for a friend.” Baekhyun stares at him weirdly.
“Are you talking about the hat?” Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea because obviously the owner is insane, that is, if he is even the owner.
“Of course I’m talking about the hat. Anyways, it’s yours. Just take it. I’m feeling like a nap? How about you?” Jongin blinks sleepily, yawning extra loud while making shooing motions at Baekhyun.
“Are you sure?” Baekhyun’s already walking to the door though. He doesn’t feel like staying longer and he doesn’t feel like passing up the opportunity to have some spare change in his pockets.
“I’ll see you later Baekhyun,” Jongin says. Baekhyun pauses; when did he ever tell Jongin his name? A shiver runs down his spine.
“How?”
Jongin laughs like he’s trying to muffle a full-blown laughing fit. “Magic,” he says, complete with mocking jazz hands. Baekhyun’s three streets down, contemplating buying a cup of coffee and a stick of biscotti when he gets stopped at a red light. He was definitely interested but he’s never going to go back there again-that’s something he’s sure of. But somehow he believed Jongin when he said that he would see him later. But then again, Baekhyun’s always believed in a lot of things that haven’t come true.
The light turns and people start to move.
The coin in his pocket jingles as he crosses the road.
÷
An hour later, he’s back in his apartment. A cup of warm coffee in one hand and a chocolate biscotti in the other. It’s the perfect indulgence snack and made his day three times brighter than it was at the beginning of the day. He puts the hat down on the living room table and goes to his room.
Today he’s feeling productive, so he takes out his textbooks and stares at them. Blanching, his entire body feels like repelling himself away from the desk. Each page that he flips over is a sore reminder that he has so much to learn and so little time left to be successful. Not that Baekhyun’s old, but he’s not entirely young either. People he knows are getting jobs and internships and are several steps closer to becoming who they want to be. Baekhyun is a math major doing magician tricks at parties for kids.
He swirls his biscotti in his coffee before taking a bite of his temporary sweet comfort. He works out the first problem sets and gets to word problems-it’s one of the things he dislikes the most. His eyes stare at the first word problem and he thinks, okay, the first train is traveling this fast and that train is traveling that fast but what if a passenger decided to hijack the first train and the answer would be all wrong if textbooks weren’t supposed to have such definite answers. Baekhyun thinks he can’t be the only one that thinks up of different scenarios for icky word problems. He’s definitely not the only one that has looked to the back of the book for answers before solving the full answers.
Feeling a headache, he closes his book and decides he’s had enough for today.
÷
Baekhyun walks into his living room, sits down on the couch and stares at his new purchase. Granted it was free, but it is still a very beautiful hat for something that didn’t cost him anything. It’s almost unsettling. Maybe someone was killed wearing that hat before? Maybe the hat is haunted?
He picks it up, rubbing his fingers over the material. It feels sturdy enough, maybe a little worn but that would probably feel nice. Maybe the person that had it before had lice? That thought makes Baekhyun grimace, but after a second look, the hat still appears to be normal.
“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Baekhyun murmurs. Then a laughter floats through his apartment. Fuck. Basically. Just. He knew the hat was haunted and now he was going to die.
“Oh my god.” It comes out as a half statement but also a half question and there might be an exclamation somewhere in there.
The laugh is even harder this time. “The closer you look, the less you see.”
And in that moment, Baekhyun hears with clarity where the sound is coming from. He peers into the hat and even though he knows it was empty just moments ago, there is now a man peeking through the hat, like the hat was a hole and he was just peering into another room. In a way it’s crazy, it’s so incredibly crazy that Baekhyun doesn’t even believe his eyes. It’s a startling realization-it’s magic.
“So tell me, what do you see?” And that’s all he gets before the male runs out of sight. Laughing in disbelief, Baekhyun sticks a hand in and it goes all the way through and before he knows it, he’s falling. His stomach feels like it’s lurching up his throat but he doesn’t feel scared of falling at all. And he’s laughing because he’s happy; he’s laughing because his dreams are coming true.
It feels like he’s been falling for an hour, suspended in air, but then it stops abruptly before he can even hit the floor-if there is a floor at all that is. And finally he is able to take in his surroundings.
There’s not much to see. It’s just like a room except not a room because the ceiling is impossibly high and there just doesn’t seem to be much of a point in a room that’s too small to do anything except sit down and possibly have tea. Which is exactly what that room is for, probably. There’s a table in the middle of the room, polished mahogany wood with intricate designs lining the feet of the table. It’s the kind that has one sturdy stand that branches out on the bottom instead of the more modern version with four table legs. On top of the table is a lace tablecloth with a dish of rice crackers. It’s something you might expect from your grandmother’s house.
The thought occurs to him that normally people return home after their adventures, but that’s all in stories and fairytales. This is completely unbelievable but it’s real enough. What if he’s never able to go back? He waits for the unsettling feeling to come to him, but it doesn’t, and that’s the most unsettling part of it. Quickly he stuffs a couple crackers wrapped in napkins into his pockets, stuffing one in his mouth just because. He figures that if he’s going to go on an adventure then he may as well have the energy to do so.
There must be something wrong with the crackers because as soon as he finishes one, it leaves him feeling bloated and a bit dizzy. He closes his eyes for a couple seconds and before he knows it, he’s shrunken.
It’s an entirely new perspective. He has to look up at everything and the top of the table seems unreachable. He sees all the things he hadn’t seen before-like the dust bunnies that look like they are progressively coming closer to him. Considering he’s the size of a small mouse now, that bunny looks like a miniature Godzilla and he should probably run before he inhales a year’s worth of dust.
It’s coming incredibly fast and all he can feel is fear. When he expected bunnies to come out of the magician hat, he didn’t actually think any of them had the capability of running him down. Actually, since he didn’t even know this could actually happen, he’s not expecting anything at all and he’s left sorrowfully wishing he brought a stick of carrot. (Do dust bunnies even eat carrots?) Instinctively, he raises a hand up to futilely defend himself but then as soon as it happens, a blinding light flashes. The bunny stops, startled, before changing directions.
Baekhyun’s hands tingle and he looks at them in wonder. What did he just do? What is he even capable of? It’s exciting, and he knows it could be dangerous, but that just means he’s even more excited because this is an adventure and he hasn’t had one of those in a long time.
However, what exactly is phase two of this adventure? When he fell in, he hadn’t exactly seen any doors. That’s the thing though, that was when he was big; now he’s small. He might not be able to see much of what he saw before, but he’s able to see much more of what he didn’t see before.
He sees a small door at the base of the table. From his size now, as he looks up, the table looks even less like a table and more like a giant tree.
He opens the door and embarks on something new.
÷
The room is dark even though it’s illuminated by a million little orbs of light. This is what he expects space to look like if he were able to travel there. It’s beautiful even though there’s not much to look at. He peers into an orb, it’s like looking straight into a lightbulb and he can’t stare too long, but it’s beautiful all the same.
“Hello, I’m Luhan,” a somewhat familiar voice calls. Baekhyun whips his head over. It’s the man from the hat, except now he’s full sized-or as full sized as one can be for a person that lives inside a table. Is it even a table though? Because this isn’t what he would expect the inside of a table to look like.
Luhan laughs, and he must have voiced his thoughts out loud because he replies, “Well this wouldn’t exactly be what the inside of a hat would look like either, right?”
No, he thinks, because nothing normal would look like this or be like this or feel like this. It’s nothing short of amazing at every turn. He shakes his head and comes closer when Luhan motions him over with excited hands. It’s more accurate to say that he floats over to Luhan, who seems to be able to move his body closer just by beckoning him with his fingers.
On a closer inspection of Luhan, Baekhyun deduces that Luhan looks just like a human. Aside from his non-standard clothing, he looks like someone that could be Baekhyun’s neighbor or fellow classmate. Luhan is admittedly good looking though, like he could be idol. But even without looking very closely, Baekhyun can sense that Luhan is other-worldly like he has a different level of wisdom that Baekhyun could never fathom.
“So, what brings you here?” Luhan swirls all the orbs in the air with a flick of his hands, glancing at some of them fleetingly. Baekhyun blinks, not sure what to say.
“You brought me here,” Baekhyun says. Luhan raises an eyebrow.
“Did I bring you here? No. You came here yourself,” Luhan says.
“But you lured me in here!”
“No, I didn’t. I just appealed to your sense of curiosity.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” When Luhan laughs, his eyes crinkle and his jaw drops wide open. It’s frankly a little scary.
“No it’s not. Because it’s up to you whether you choose to come or not. I can’t be helped if people fall into temptations.”
“What are you trying to say?” Baekhyun blushes hotly, and he’s starting to get a bit angry because this adventure is not going as smoothly as he would like. It’s like Luhan is just toying around with him.
”That I’m just too charming? Just kidding, I’m saying you came here on your own. While I’m fully able to give you what you want, you should realize that your actions are based on your own decisions. I’m not going to decide for you if those decisions are good or bad, but I’ll help you get what you want if I feel like it. And you know what those humans say: ’Curiosity killed the cat.’”
“So you’re saying you can give me what I want. Do you even know what I want?” Luhan smiles, doe eyes piercing right though him.
“Of course I know what you want. I know what every magician wants. Why else would you be here?” Luhan says.
“So what do I want?” His fingers are casually clasped around the coin in his pocket, but his heart is thumping anxiously in his chest. It’s not that he doesn’t know what he wants, he does, but rationally there are so many other things he needs that could possibly outweigh what he really wants. Ideally, he could ask for more wishes or for a hundred billion dollars, but Baekhyun is pretty sure Luhan is not a genie. (He actually looks more like a rabbit.)
“Magic, of course.” Baekhyun can feel his heart thudding and soaring at the same time. It’s everything he’s been searching for his entire life and it feels way too anti-climactic for it to just be given to him.
“Okay, I guess I’m ready.” The disappointment must show in his voice. Maybe Luhan that he’s not just looking for magic-he’s looking for an adventure, for enlightenment, for happiness, and maybe even a purpose. If all goes well, maybe he’d even find someplace he belongs.
“Alright,” Luhan says. He fishes something out of his pocket. It’s a pocket watch. Baekhyun reaches out for it but Luhan dangles it out of Baekhyun’s reach, waving it around tauntingly around his head.
“You didn’t think it was going to be that simple right,” Luhan asks. Baekhyun frowns, because he did.
“I want something in exchange of course. Preferably something pretty and shiny. Maybe even something of value?”
“I’m a college student, nothing I actually own is of value unless you’re interested in textbooks.”
“Does it look like I have a use for textbooks? Before you can answer that question, no, I don’t. Magic is always strong when you can place value into something. Value as in money, which humans do a lot, stores belief that a flimsy piece of paper is worth something right? Is it still magic? I guess it’s a type of magic, but it doesn’t seem very magical, does it.
“Magic is composed of four components: belief, confidence, instinct, and ability. You need all of those to be able to do magic. Belief that something is able to do this or that and confidence that something is able to do this or that well. I can’t teach you magic because those are all things you should gain on your own without crutches.
“The magician is the one with the abilities and instinct, those are skills that have to be learned on your own. And while a magician should have belief and confidence in himself, he should also be able to instill that in objects and people. Any object that has those two requirements is considered valuable.”
Baekhyun mulls over the information, not quite sure if he gets it. “So what do you want from me?”
“Something of value of course. And I believe that you have something you consider extremely valuable.” Luhan points to his pants, specifically to the side where his coin is tucked into his pocket. For once, Baekhyun is hesitant. It’s just a coin, but it’s a coin that has helped him relax in hard times. It’s a reminder of the reason he wants to be a magician and it keeps him feeling that Tao-hyung will come back one day even though it’s been years.
“Does it have to be this one?” Baekhyun blanches, gripping the coin in his hands tightly.
“It’s the only thing I want,” Luhan says. At this point, Baekhyun can refuse and try to go back, or he can accept the offer and experience real magic. Surprisingly, Baekhyun realizes that worth is quite different to every other person and he finds himself hesitating.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Okay,” he says and he can feel the regret seeping in him like a napkin sinking into the sea as he opens his fist.
“Great,” Luhan says. The coin floats out from his palm and a pocket watch deposits itself into his hand. He turns over the cool metal in his hand. It’s simple looking, but it looks heavier than normal. Instead of the normal one side, the watch looks like it opens from both ends.
“So this is magic. How do I use it?”
“It basically works like the hat. On the front side, if you open it, it’ll take you back here to me. On the back side, it’ll take you any world you want to go. But there is a catch. You can choose only one world.”
Luhan swirls his hands again, dimming the lights and Baekhyun sees that they’re not just balls of light, they’re worlds and he’s looking into each and every one of them. He hesitates.
“Any specific requests?”
“Can I say I want to go to the world Tao is from?” Luhan perks up, suddenly realizing why the coin looked so familiar.
“Taozi~? Of course, I’m a magician. Almost anything is possible.” The orbs float away until one remains. It looks like medieval Earth, but then he sees people doing magic. He leans in closer, and he sees two men running away from people. But then he sees one of them is actually flying and he gasps and he knows this is where Tao-hyung is from.
“I want to go here,” Baekhyun says.
“Sure? Last chance to back out,” Luhan says. Baekhyun shakes his head, he knows this is where he’ll find his adventure.
“Good choice,” Luhan says, “I’m from EXO Planet too.”
He opens the back of the pocket watch. A clenching feeling in his gut appears just as quickly as it disappears.
One | Two
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: alphataurus
Pairing: OT3: Baekhyun/Chanyeol/Kris (friendship)
Word Count: 13,372
Summary: Baekhyun's a 22 year old with a deadbeat job as a magician's assistant. He just wants a taste of real magic--and so he gets it.
Warnings: mentions of violence
Rating: PG-13
One
It’s a hot summer day, sweltering heat making the distance distorted in visions of waves. Baekhyun was riding by on his tricycle with his blue shorts riding up his legs and his white shirt rolled up to his shoulders. Sunscreen forgone had left his skin with a darker tint of pink, something his mommy will definitely yell at him for later. Despite the sweat that sticks to their skin like a second layer of clothing, the boys in the neighborhood gather around the block to watch one of the older teens do magic tricks.
It’s Tao, who has always been the most popular for being nice to all the younger ones instead of scorning them for being young. He’s wearing a plain tee with shorts of a peculiar patter in contrast to his usual leather jacket and ripped jeans, which is a nice change because it makes him appear more approachable. It’s one of the reasons why Baekhyun decides to join the group instead of biking away.
Tao is more popular with the older kids than the younger, with his bad boy style and charismatic stare. Even the parents grudgingly like him despite his image because he’s a foreign boy who has courageously come to a different country for the sake of studying. It’s a surprise that he’s even here today at all when he could be hanging out with his friends or trying to keep up his scholarship. Not the rowdy little kids around here that Tao claims to also be his friends-but the friends that are around Tao’s age. Girls and boys alike vie for Tao’s attention, but he’s always paid attention to whatever he wanted to pay attention too.
That’s cool, that’s why Baekhyun wants to be like Tao.
Tao seems cool even when he’s complaining about how someone is clinging onto his shoulders too tightly. It’s easy to shove and complain to this hyung because Tao will allow it, but when he raises a finger to his lips, silence falls as they all eagerly await his next words.
Baekhyun is one of the younger and shorter ones, having to stand on the tips of his toes just to be able to have a slightly decent view. Just like every other kid, he’s curious about what the whole fuss is about.
“Look closely,” he says. They all lean in, focused on his hands where two coins lay. It’s just two regular coins. Tao makes a show of letting everyone touch the coins, to feel the realness, before he clenches his hands tightly. Baekhyun gets one fleeting touch of warm alloy before the magic trick continues. He makes eye contact with Tao and smiles tentatively, beaming giddily when he receives a smile in return.
“Now everyone count to three,” he urges. They all count hurriedly, loudly, and excitedly except for Baekhyun who stands by the side quietly and mouths the words. His heart is thudding in his chest even though he knows that the coins will disappear. Goosebumps rake Baekhyun’s arms and he plays it off as extreme anticipation, but he doesn’t get to dwell on it for long because Tao is revealing his hands.
Tao opens one hand, a coin is still there.
He opens his other hand-and there is nothing. Logically, he knew what was going to happen, but also logically, there was nowhere for the coin to disappear to. Tao is wearing something short-sleeved, so it couldn’t be up his sleeves and his hands hadn’t reached anywhere near his pockets.
“Where did it go?” Murmurs of confusion erupt as hands start patting Tao everywhere for his second coin. Two flipped out pockets and two rolled sleeves later, Tao makes a noise-like he’s just remembered something.
“What is your name?”
He’s staring straight at Baekhyun, who flounders for a bit before he says, almost questioningly, “My name is Baekhyun?”
“Baekhyun, I think I dropped something in your pocket by accident. Can you check to see if it’s there?” Baekhyun’s eyes widen in surprise, jamming one hand into his left pocket to find nothing. He jams his other hand into his right pocket expecting to find nothing, but his fingers brush something warm and round.
He takes it out of his pocket and everyone is pushing to look at what’s in Baekhyun’s hand. It’s the coin.
Baekhyun whips his head around to look at Tao, eyes widening in confusion. The hand gripping the coin tightens, the coin remains solid and Baekhyun can see Tao’s amusement at Baekhyun’s perplexion.
“The closer you look, the less you see.” Everyone breaks out into applauses while Baekhyun tries handing the coin back to Tao who shakes his head. “You should keep it. You’re going to need it someday.”
“Baekhyun’s just going to buy some gumballs with it later, you should just give it to me,” Jongdae whines. Gasping, Baekhyun waggles his hand at his friend.
“No, I would never do that.” He looks up to Tao with wide eyes, as if it’ll convince Tao of his innocent thoughts.
“I believe you,” Tao says, “I have no reason not to.” Somehow, looking into Tao’s eyes, he doesn’t doubt that even though he has reasons to.
And just like that, Tao stands up and ruffles everyone’s hairs while they complain. “I have to go now, but I’ll be back before you even know it.” For some reason, Baekhyun’s heart aches.
“Will you really?” His voice is mournful even though he knows Tao will come back. Tao always come back every week. Tao’s smile is painful; it’s similar to how Chanyeol looks when he sees a cat he can’t touch even though he really, really, wants to.
“I’ll come back for you,” Tao says, sticking out his pinky. For once, his hands are free of obnoxiously large rings that have skulls and crosses on them. Baekhyun sticks out his smaller pinky and intertwines them with Tao’s.
“Promises are very powerful,” Tao muses, “sometimes, they can even transcend time.”
Right now, Baekhyun’s not sure what ‘transcend’ means but he thinks it’s a level four vocabulary word so it must be real important. He nods his head solemnly.
Tao doesn’t come back next week, or the next. But somehow Baekhyun knows that it’s not the last he’s seen of Tao.
÷
Dinner is a normal affair with one mother, one father, and one child. Baekhyun is that child that sits next to his mother and in front of his imposing father. His father is the one that has one can of beer in front of him, and one slightly crushed packet of cigarettes to his left. His mother is the one that has one string of pearls on her neck, and one set of freshly manicured nails from the afternoon. Baekhyun has one bruise from bumping his head on his side table this morning, and two parents that shower him in their lackluster love.
He’s playing with the coin Tao gave him at the dinner table until his mother admonishes him for bringing dirty things to the table, and she makes him put it away in his pocket and wash his hands for the second time.
He doesn’t feel much of anything if he’s being honest. But he still says a quiet, “okay,” when his mother tells him with mild concern, “I think you’ve been getting into the wrong crowd of people.” In fact, all Baekhyun really does is roll his broccoli with his fork-even if broccoli doesn’t really roll. He knows he’s not hanging out with wrong people because those people make him feel good about himself. If anything, he’s probably hanging around the wrong crowd of people just being at home.
They’re eating chow mein from microwavable meals that have been dumped unceremoniously unto clean plates with steamed vegetables on the side. Baekhyun’s certain that the vegetables are not fresh because he saw them being taken out of the freezer, but he’s also certain that they’re fresher than the microwaved chow mein that tastes like it’s been premade months in advance. It’s cheap and efficient when one simply does not have the time to come home and make home cooked meals for their growing children. He likes to think with damp excitement that he he’s merely adapting to the new culture of the current generation. People have to adapt to survive to their environment-conform to society; he has to conform, for society.
“So, who’s paying the bill for next month’s rent?” He tunes out the sounds of his parents in favor of listening to the sounds of forks and knives scrapping ceramic plates until they blend into one dully screeching noise of false security.
÷
Oh his first day of high school, he trudges home with the reluctance of a person that would rather be anywhere else but where he’s intending to go. His parents will say things they don’t mean; his parents will ask him things that have answers they don’t want to hear. It’s all very repetitive and pretentious; the best way to make it stop is to say, “Everything’s fine.” Baekhyun will save his breath because he doesn’t feel like listening to half-hearted admonishments that tear down his soul even if his parents don’t know that it does.
The first day of a new grade is nothing spectacular, people come and go all the time. There’s excitement buzzing because people are seeing people they haven’t seen in a while but that’s really not everything that is going on; Baekhyun can tell. If people really wanted to see each other then they would make the effort to see each other regardless of where they are. Maybe he’s just bitter but what he really thinks is that it’s just a chance for people to show off about their new clothes, new experiences in foreign countries, new ways that they’re better than everyone else.
That’s why nothing really happens on Baekhyun’s first day of school. No one likes him enough to approach him but no one hates him enough to go out of their way to spite him after learning who he is during their initial curiosity. It’s kind of like being ignored without the underlying tension of emotions being bottled up. No one’s ignoring him but no one is noticing him either and it does feel a bit lonely but he’s not lonely enough to reach out to others. (There is also the possibility that he’s extremely lonely but too used to being alone to accept change when his highest form of happiness has always been a muted joy. He’s afraid of what true happiness might feel like.)
Baekhyun has trouble blending in with everyone else because while everyone is trying their hardest to stand out, he’s just normal. He spent his summer sitting in his room, staring outside the window and wondering about what he could be doing if he had the money. He doesn’t want a fancy car, he doesn’t want a fancy phone, he just wants to maybe share a sundae with a friend and feed ducks stale bread at the park. Every day he wonders what would happen if he went outside and did something different. He wonders what would happen if he tried to live a little.
His parents ask him about his day when he gets home, after his mother reminds him to put the shoes back on the shoe rack properly. So he tells him, even if it’s not like they really care.
People think Baekhyun’s special because he’s been homeschooled until now. Sure, it’s a little different than being in school but that doesn’t mean he was a social hermit. So they think he must have loads of stories to tell because he’s different. Like he’s an entire species of his own. But that wasn’t the case at all; he had the kids in the neighborhood and that was quite alright. But they still pester him for stories because that’s what they do in high school, always nosing about in other people’s business.
Baekhyun doesn’t really have much stories; he just has a tale of an old summer and an old coin to prove it. When it finally gets into their heads that Baekhyun is normal, they leave him alone.
“Never did think you’d be like me,” his father grunts. And thank god for that, Baekhyun thinks.
The vegetables aren’t fresh. Routines don’t change and Baekhyun still has his coin sitting in his pocket at dinner table.
“So, who’s paying the bill for next month’s rent?”
÷
Fast forward thirteen years and Baekhyun’s a twenty-two year old with a gig as a magician’s assistant to help pay for rent and college fees. He’s majoring in math, but he’s actually doing better in his Mandarin class than Calculus. Who actually needs to study functions, Baekhyun thinks bitterly, when the only math Baekhyun’s applied to real life situations is how much beer can a magician have before he’s literally too drunk to be entertaining kids. He hates his job, he hates his life, and he hates how it seems like he can’t do anything about it.
Today is one of those shit days where he’s too busy trying to settle payment options with a fussy mom to keep an eye out for Boss and his penchant for hiding flasks of whiskey in one of the hidden pockets of his coat. It’s when he hears Boss talking about magical juice that makes living with a shit salary do-able, that he knows it’s time to step in before their pay for the week turns into a double digit number.
So Baekhyun steps in, gently ushering Boss away from his makeshift stage in the living room. “Hi, my name is Baekhyun and I am the-”
“THE LOVELY MAGICHIAN ASSISANT OF THE GERATE-”
“I’m Baekhyun and I’ll be filling in for him today,” Baekhyun says with a strained smile. He hates the fact that he only landed this gig because his hands looked awfully nice doing magic tricks; they also do balloon animals for an extra fifty dollars even though that’s the job for a clown. But no, this is not a magician’s job, this is a job for lowly entertainers that work at house parties catering to kids that aren’t even old enough to watch kissing scenes in movies. If Baekhyun’s lucky, sometimes he gets the kids young enough to think that Santa still exist and magic is unexplainably real; it makes him think that sometimes he’s contributing to young peoples’ happiness. Then sometimes he gets the shitty kids that just want to try to debunk every trick in the book.
“Baekhyun-oppa,” a girl says, “what are you going to show us?”
He pretends to think.
“How about I show you a trick with two coins?” He smiles mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows like he’s sharing a secret with them.
“But first, why don’t you tell me your name?”
“Sulli! That’s a lovely name,” he praises. She smiles widely, proud of the name her mama gave her.
“There are two coins in my hands, correct?” He shows them the coins, letting them touch it before drawing it back. He rolls up his sleeves, showing his bare arms and clenches his fists tightly.
“Can you guys count to three for me?” They count in unison, one voice slightly off-beat. Baekhyun opens one palm, revealing the coin he had in his hand. While everyone has their eyes focused on his left hand, Baekhyun makes his other coin ‘disappear’ only to reappear behind Sulli’s ear. Too easy.
“Oppa, can you do a trick with a rabbit? Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat?” Sulli claps her hands together, speaking excitedly with her friend Luna. The rabbit trick is one of the dullest tricks Baekhyun has ever encountered, or maybe it’s one of his most hated because he hates dealing with rabbit pellets and jumpy rabbits.
“For that kind of magic, I might require some assistance from the magician himself,” Baekhyun says. As if on cue, Boss stumbles in with a loopy smile, smelling of cheap liquor and knockoff cologne.
“And here I am,” Boss says. Baekhyun can already tell that this isn’t going to go well. Of course, instead of pulling out a rabbit, Boss pukes into the hat. Shrieks alarm the parents and Baekhyun’s just glad they aren’t charged for mental scarring.
Back in the gaudy car decorated with poorly written text on the side as advertisement for this gig, Boss wipes his dirty mouth on the sleeves of his costume coat and hands Baekhyun his soiled hat. “Clean it or replace it, it doesn’t matter. I’ll ah-I’ll give you a bit more for your next pay. Think of it as a job done in advanced for your pay,” Boss says. Gritting his teeth, Baekhyun puts the hat in two layers of plastic bags and silently prays for a miracle to pull him through making ends meet.
The thing about Boss is that he’s not a bad man even though he’s a terrible employer. Boss is just a man with a turbulent marriage due to financial issues and this was simply one of his sorry attempts at a get-rich-plan gone wrong because he doesn’t know shit about anything that isn’t easily looked up on the internet. Boss has kids, one in college and one in elementary school. Without Baekhyun, Boss would be nothing except a penniless man with a sorry attempt at being successful. (With Baekhyun, Boss is just a poor man with a sorry attempt at being successful with added aid. But at least they’re almost broke as opposed to flat-out broke.)
“Yes sir,” he says, and he’s never felt so miserable in his life.
The thing about every trick Baekhyun has helped staged so far, is that they all have a logic. There is a reason why it seems magical, and there is a reason why it is not. It’s not real magic, it’s not even an illusion; it’s just a trick of the eye. And while Baekhyun has disagreed with almost everything Boss has ever said, he has to agree with the familiarity every magician knows, “The closer you look, the less you see.”
Magician magic loses appeal when it’s scrutinized as being fake. So the object of magician magic is to make sure the audience is focused intently on the trick that they miss the real trick of the trick. It’ Of course while magic may not be validly proven to be real, Baekhyun still thinks that somewhere out there, it must be real. It may not be exactly how people imagine it, but Baekhyun assumes it would be breathtaking. It has to be.
Baekhyun drives Boss home, seeing as how he’s entirely unfit to drive. That just means that Baekhyun has to walk all the way home by himself. Luckily for himself, it begins to drizzle-and it doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. He stops, inhales the stifling sting of cold. Energy seeps out of him in cloying drags that threaten to clog his throat and seep out of his eyes in the form of bitter tears. He hates his job, he hates his life, and he hates how life never seems to work in his favor no matter what he does. Thumbing a coin in his pocket, Baekhyun decides it’s time to brave the rain and go home.
÷
It had taken him several efforts to push his key into the keyhole when his fingers were shaking and numb and so terribly, terribly cold. The tips of his fingers were a gradient of shades of purple. There was little time to feel bad about shucking his wet shoes so sloppily when his body was on the verge of giving out on him.
There’s probably something sacred about dry couches that Baekhyun is defiling by letting the wetness from his clothes seep into the interior as the clock in his kitchen ticks noisily. His wet socks prevent him from retaining any heat but it feels like so much effort just to take them off when every bone in his body is aching with or without his movement.
Eventually, he has to toe off his socks and shrug off his coat. He heads to the bathroom and dumps all his damp clothes into the hamper after peeling it off his body like a wetsuit. The hot water feels like the temporary shoulder to cry on that he really needed. Even though it’ll rack up the bills he can’t afford, he sits down in his tiny tub and draws his knees up to his chin until the water starts becoming lukewarm.
His mind races though his body is still. His mind is a flurry of chaos dulled and battered-it’s like graffiti drawn over layers and layers of graffiti until it becomes something incomprehensible-he doesn’t even know where to begin. At moments like this, he questions his life choices with a clarity his stubbornness cannot deny. There’s no future in magic unless you’re planning on going to Vegas, and even then it’s like a firm reaffirmation that magic is not real because the tricks just get trickier and deadlier and more dangerous. But are they any closer to being magical than Baekhyun is? Probably not.
But does that make him feel any better?
He scrunches up his shoulders, burying his face between the crooks of his elbows. No.
÷
Baekhyun forgoes dinner and slinks his way to his room. He feels like it’s a monumental effort to trudge himself to bed, body refusing to relax the way he wants it to and focuses his eyes into blurring the edges until his head hurts a little. Most of the time, he wishes time would pass by faster but it seems to slow down for him.
In his room, everything stops. It’s time for more thinking. Time is an idea that is created by humans. What if a million years-if that is what years really is-passed by during the time Baekhyun blinked his eyes and a few seconds pass by the time he opens his eyes again from sleep? What if he’s dead when he’s alive and alive when he’s sleeping? What if he falls into a coma to find out that he’s actually falling awake from one instead? Sometimes Baekhyun doesn’t understand himself and he’s not sure anyone else would either but he’s sure that he can’t be the only person wondering these thoughts because there are billions of people in the world and more than millions of billions if he thinks about the people that haven’t been born and people that have already died.
That’s the problem with people that think too much but don’t take action. Reality seems to be a distant prospect and fantasy begins to be a laughable possibility; but a possibility, is still a possibility. The thing about fantasy is that greatness seems to be thrown at the main character at every end of the road.
The thing about reality is that nothing ever happens-even if you want it to.
He falls asleep with a frown marring his features, thoughts of bills and upcoming exams harrowing his mind.
÷
Baekhyun wakes up in the morning with a throbbing headache and hints of a fever. It’s a little after eleven; it’s not quite noon, not quite morning. He’s practically crawling on the floor, unwilling to get up or do anything even though there are things to be done. Before he can even think of everything he has to do, his aching stomach tells him that he has to brush his teeth and make breakfast.
He sticks his toothbrush in his mouth while he fries a pair of eggs on the pan. He pokes his eggs around with a spatula while going through a mental checklist of what he has to do. He has to buy a replacement hat for Boss; the former hat turning a ghastly shade of discoloration, crusting and stinking up in his living room. It’s time had probably come around a good time as well, frayed with overuse. He also has to do his laundry and buy more groceries. Then he has to see if he has time to study, which should be a priority even though it isn’t.
His phone rings while he’s plating his breakfast onto a dish. “Hello?” It’s his parents, checking up to see how he’s doing. He walks over to the kitchen sink and rinses. He stands there watching the paste go down the drain. He tells them he’s doing fine because he knows they really just want to nag about how he’s not really going anywhere in life yet. Plus, it’s the simplest answer because he expects the reply to be, “That’s good,” and whatever else they think they should say to be good parents.
He knows they don’t really expect him to listen to whatever they’re saying for the hundredth time so he turns off the heat and puts away his toothbrush. At some point he says, “Well, it’s been good talking to you but I have to hang up now.” Sometimes he wishes that they called because they genuinely miss him but that might be too much to ask for. His eggs have started to cool.
Some people eat their eggs with ketchup, some people eat their eggs with salt and pepper, and some eat their eggs with soy sauce. Baekhyun’s more about all the sweeter things in life if he can get it, so he adds syrup. It might be gross to some people but Baekhyun’s never really been like other people.
He doesn’t leave the dishes in the sink afterwards, he’s a bit obsessive-compulsive about it. He washes what he used and he puts them out to dry on the rack. To him, it symbolizes the real start of the day.
÷
Where does one even go about looking for magician hats? Baekhyun put on his thickest coat, wandering aimlessly until he stops at a thrift shop. He feels better that it’s not incredibly shabby but it doesn’t look like it’s a place that could possibly break his wallet either. The outside of the shop could use a new coat of paint, it’s probably why it looks like there aren’t a lot of customers inside.
He pushes the door, and a bell rings above his head like the ones he sees in the movies. The shop has a rustic feel to it, selling mostly trinkets instead of hand-me-down clothing. He prods around the front of the store, but no one greets him and it doesn’t even really look like anyone’s there. He checks again, but there is a sign in front of the door that says the shop is open. Baekhyun feels a bit uneasy, like he’s intruding but his eyes catch the perfect hat and he’d be dumb to let the chance slip away when he’s so sure that he won’t be able to find another one like it somewhere else. He walks over to it, inspecting it with his fingers. It’s a good material and it’s even well-made.
He flips the hat over, turning it around and around but he doesn’t spy a price tag anywhere. He walks up to the front and nearly has a heart attack when he sees someone napping behind the counter. The flimsy nametag stuck to his shirt says that his name is Jongin. He’s eighty percent sure that person wasn’t there five minutes ago, but he’s not going to question it.
“Excuse me, but do you work here?” The male opens his eyes, rubbing them blearily.
“I guess you could say I own it.” Baekhyun’s skeptical; the kid looks like he should be in high school.
“Right, okay. Anyways, I was wondering how much this costs?” He places the hat on the counter, where Jongin takes a look at it appraisingly.
“This hat isn’t much use to me,” Jongin says, peering into the hat amusedly. He proceeds to hiss like he’s been burned and stares at the hat distastefully.
“Look, can you hurry up because time is ticking and I have places to go and people to see.” It’s not necessarily true but he does have things to do. Jongin stares at him, dropping the hat on the counter and placing his face between his palms.
“Hmm, I do think you and him will get along together quite nicely. He’s been looking for a friend.” Baekhyun stares at him weirdly.
“Are you talking about the hat?” Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea because obviously the owner is insane, that is, if he is even the owner.
“Of course I’m talking about the hat. Anyways, it’s yours. Just take it. I’m feeling like a nap? How about you?” Jongin blinks sleepily, yawning extra loud while making shooing motions at Baekhyun.
“Are you sure?” Baekhyun’s already walking to the door though. He doesn’t feel like staying longer and he doesn’t feel like passing up the opportunity to have some spare change in his pockets.
“I’ll see you later Baekhyun,” Jongin says. Baekhyun pauses; when did he ever tell Jongin his name? A shiver runs down his spine.
“How?”
Jongin laughs like he’s trying to muffle a full-blown laughing fit. “Magic,” he says, complete with mocking jazz hands. Baekhyun’s three streets down, contemplating buying a cup of coffee and a stick of biscotti when he gets stopped at a red light. He was definitely interested but he’s never going to go back there again-that’s something he’s sure of. But somehow he believed Jongin when he said that he would see him later. But then again, Baekhyun’s always believed in a lot of things that haven’t come true.
The light turns and people start to move.
The coin in his pocket jingles as he crosses the road.
÷
An hour later, he’s back in his apartment. A cup of warm coffee in one hand and a chocolate biscotti in the other. It’s the perfect indulgence snack and made his day three times brighter than it was at the beginning of the day. He puts the hat down on the living room table and goes to his room.
Today he’s feeling productive, so he takes out his textbooks and stares at them. Blanching, his entire body feels like repelling himself away from the desk. Each page that he flips over is a sore reminder that he has so much to learn and so little time left to be successful. Not that Baekhyun’s old, but he’s not entirely young either. People he knows are getting jobs and internships and are several steps closer to becoming who they want to be. Baekhyun is a math major doing magician tricks at parties for kids.
He swirls his biscotti in his coffee before taking a bite of his temporary sweet comfort. He works out the first problem sets and gets to word problems-it’s one of the things he dislikes the most. His eyes stare at the first word problem and he thinks, okay, the first train is traveling this fast and that train is traveling that fast but what if a passenger decided to hijack the first train and the answer would be all wrong if textbooks weren’t supposed to have such definite answers. Baekhyun thinks he can’t be the only one that thinks up of different scenarios for icky word problems. He’s definitely not the only one that has looked to the back of the book for answers before solving the full answers.
Feeling a headache, he closes his book and decides he’s had enough for today.
÷
Baekhyun walks into his living room, sits down on the couch and stares at his new purchase. Granted it was free, but it is still a very beautiful hat for something that didn’t cost him anything. It’s almost unsettling. Maybe someone was killed wearing that hat before? Maybe the hat is haunted?
He picks it up, rubbing his fingers over the material. It feels sturdy enough, maybe a little worn but that would probably feel nice. Maybe the person that had it before had lice? That thought makes Baekhyun grimace, but after a second look, the hat still appears to be normal.
“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” Baekhyun murmurs. Then a laughter floats through his apartment. Fuck. Basically. Just. He knew the hat was haunted and now he was going to die.
“Oh my god.” It comes out as a half statement but also a half question and there might be an exclamation somewhere in there.
The laugh is even harder this time. “The closer you look, the less you see.”
And in that moment, Baekhyun hears with clarity where the sound is coming from. He peers into the hat and even though he knows it was empty just moments ago, there is now a man peeking through the hat, like the hat was a hole and he was just peering into another room. In a way it’s crazy, it’s so incredibly crazy that Baekhyun doesn’t even believe his eyes. It’s a startling realization-it’s magic.
“So tell me, what do you see?” And that’s all he gets before the male runs out of sight. Laughing in disbelief, Baekhyun sticks a hand in and it goes all the way through and before he knows it, he’s falling. His stomach feels like it’s lurching up his throat but he doesn’t feel scared of falling at all. And he’s laughing because he’s happy; he’s laughing because his dreams are coming true.
It feels like he’s been falling for an hour, suspended in air, but then it stops abruptly before he can even hit the floor-if there is a floor at all that is. And finally he is able to take in his surroundings.
There’s not much to see. It’s just like a room except not a room because the ceiling is impossibly high and there just doesn’t seem to be much of a point in a room that’s too small to do anything except sit down and possibly have tea. Which is exactly what that room is for, probably. There’s a table in the middle of the room, polished mahogany wood with intricate designs lining the feet of the table. It’s the kind that has one sturdy stand that branches out on the bottom instead of the more modern version with four table legs. On top of the table is a lace tablecloth with a dish of rice crackers. It’s something you might expect from your grandmother’s house.
The thought occurs to him that normally people return home after their adventures, but that’s all in stories and fairytales. This is completely unbelievable but it’s real enough. What if he’s never able to go back? He waits for the unsettling feeling to come to him, but it doesn’t, and that’s the most unsettling part of it. Quickly he stuffs a couple crackers wrapped in napkins into his pockets, stuffing one in his mouth just because. He figures that if he’s going to go on an adventure then he may as well have the energy to do so.
There must be something wrong with the crackers because as soon as he finishes one, it leaves him feeling bloated and a bit dizzy. He closes his eyes for a couple seconds and before he knows it, he’s shrunken.
It’s an entirely new perspective. He has to look up at everything and the top of the table seems unreachable. He sees all the things he hadn’t seen before-like the dust bunnies that look like they are progressively coming closer to him. Considering he’s the size of a small mouse now, that bunny looks like a miniature Godzilla and he should probably run before he inhales a year’s worth of dust.
It’s coming incredibly fast and all he can feel is fear. When he expected bunnies to come out of the magician hat, he didn’t actually think any of them had the capability of running him down. Actually, since he didn’t even know this could actually happen, he’s not expecting anything at all and he’s left sorrowfully wishing he brought a stick of carrot. (Do dust bunnies even eat carrots?) Instinctively, he raises a hand up to futilely defend himself but then as soon as it happens, a blinding light flashes. The bunny stops, startled, before changing directions.
Baekhyun’s hands tingle and he looks at them in wonder. What did he just do? What is he even capable of? It’s exciting, and he knows it could be dangerous, but that just means he’s even more excited because this is an adventure and he hasn’t had one of those in a long time.
However, what exactly is phase two of this adventure? When he fell in, he hadn’t exactly seen any doors. That’s the thing though, that was when he was big; now he’s small. He might not be able to see much of what he saw before, but he’s able to see much more of what he didn’t see before.
He sees a small door at the base of the table. From his size now, as he looks up, the table looks even less like a table and more like a giant tree.
He opens the door and embarks on something new.
÷
The room is dark even though it’s illuminated by a million little orbs of light. This is what he expects space to look like if he were able to travel there. It’s beautiful even though there’s not much to look at. He peers into an orb, it’s like looking straight into a lightbulb and he can’t stare too long, but it’s beautiful all the same.
“Hello, I’m Luhan,” a somewhat familiar voice calls. Baekhyun whips his head over. It’s the man from the hat, except now he’s full sized-or as full sized as one can be for a person that lives inside a table. Is it even a table though? Because this isn’t what he would expect the inside of a table to look like.
Luhan laughs, and he must have voiced his thoughts out loud because he replies, “Well this wouldn’t exactly be what the inside of a hat would look like either, right?”
No, he thinks, because nothing normal would look like this or be like this or feel like this. It’s nothing short of amazing at every turn. He shakes his head and comes closer when Luhan motions him over with excited hands. It’s more accurate to say that he floats over to Luhan, who seems to be able to move his body closer just by beckoning him with his fingers.
On a closer inspection of Luhan, Baekhyun deduces that Luhan looks just like a human. Aside from his non-standard clothing, he looks like someone that could be Baekhyun’s neighbor or fellow classmate. Luhan is admittedly good looking though, like he could be idol. But even without looking very closely, Baekhyun can sense that Luhan is other-worldly like he has a different level of wisdom that Baekhyun could never fathom.
“So, what brings you here?” Luhan swirls all the orbs in the air with a flick of his hands, glancing at some of them fleetingly. Baekhyun blinks, not sure what to say.
“You brought me here,” Baekhyun says. Luhan raises an eyebrow.
“Did I bring you here? No. You came here yourself,” Luhan says.
“But you lured me in here!”
“No, I didn’t. I just appealed to your sense of curiosity.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” When Luhan laughs, his eyes crinkle and his jaw drops wide open. It’s frankly a little scary.
“No it’s not. Because it’s up to you whether you choose to come or not. I can’t be helped if people fall into temptations.”
“What are you trying to say?” Baekhyun blushes hotly, and he’s starting to get a bit angry because this adventure is not going as smoothly as he would like. It’s like Luhan is just toying around with him.
”That I’m just too charming? Just kidding, I’m saying you came here on your own. While I’m fully able to give you what you want, you should realize that your actions are based on your own decisions. I’m not going to decide for you if those decisions are good or bad, but I’ll help you get what you want if I feel like it. And you know what those humans say: ’Curiosity killed the cat.’”
“So you’re saying you can give me what I want. Do you even know what I want?” Luhan smiles, doe eyes piercing right though him.
“Of course I know what you want. I know what every magician wants. Why else would you be here?” Luhan says.
“So what do I want?” His fingers are casually clasped around the coin in his pocket, but his heart is thumping anxiously in his chest. It’s not that he doesn’t know what he wants, he does, but rationally there are so many other things he needs that could possibly outweigh what he really wants. Ideally, he could ask for more wishes or for a hundred billion dollars, but Baekhyun is pretty sure Luhan is not a genie. (He actually looks more like a rabbit.)
“Magic, of course.” Baekhyun can feel his heart thudding and soaring at the same time. It’s everything he’s been searching for his entire life and it feels way too anti-climactic for it to just be given to him.
“Okay, I guess I’m ready.” The disappointment must show in his voice. Maybe Luhan that he’s not just looking for magic-he’s looking for an adventure, for enlightenment, for happiness, and maybe even a purpose. If all goes well, maybe he’d even find someplace he belongs.
“Alright,” Luhan says. He fishes something out of his pocket. It’s a pocket watch. Baekhyun reaches out for it but Luhan dangles it out of Baekhyun’s reach, waving it around tauntingly around his head.
“You didn’t think it was going to be that simple right,” Luhan asks. Baekhyun frowns, because he did.
“I want something in exchange of course. Preferably something pretty and shiny. Maybe even something of value?”
“I’m a college student, nothing I actually own is of value unless you’re interested in textbooks.”
“Does it look like I have a use for textbooks? Before you can answer that question, no, I don’t. Magic is always strong when you can place value into something. Value as in money, which humans do a lot, stores belief that a flimsy piece of paper is worth something right? Is it still magic? I guess it’s a type of magic, but it doesn’t seem very magical, does it.
“Magic is composed of four components: belief, confidence, instinct, and ability. You need all of those to be able to do magic. Belief that something is able to do this or that and confidence that something is able to do this or that well. I can’t teach you magic because those are all things you should gain on your own without crutches.
“The magician is the one with the abilities and instinct, those are skills that have to be learned on your own. And while a magician should have belief and confidence in himself, he should also be able to instill that in objects and people. Any object that has those two requirements is considered valuable.”
Baekhyun mulls over the information, not quite sure if he gets it. “So what do you want from me?”
“Something of value of course. And I believe that you have something you consider extremely valuable.” Luhan points to his pants, specifically to the side where his coin is tucked into his pocket. For once, Baekhyun is hesitant. It’s just a coin, but it’s a coin that has helped him relax in hard times. It’s a reminder of the reason he wants to be a magician and it keeps him feeling that Tao-hyung will come back one day even though it’s been years.
“Does it have to be this one?” Baekhyun blanches, gripping the coin in his hands tightly.
“It’s the only thing I want,” Luhan says. At this point, Baekhyun can refuse and try to go back, or he can accept the offer and experience real magic. Surprisingly, Baekhyun realizes that worth is quite different to every other person and he finds himself hesitating.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Okay,” he says and he can feel the regret seeping in him like a napkin sinking into the sea as he opens his fist.
“Great,” Luhan says. The coin floats out from his palm and a pocket watch deposits itself into his hand. He turns over the cool metal in his hand. It’s simple looking, but it looks heavier than normal. Instead of the normal one side, the watch looks like it opens from both ends.
“So this is magic. How do I use it?”
“It basically works like the hat. On the front side, if you open it, it’ll take you back here to me. On the back side, it’ll take you any world you want to go. But there is a catch. You can choose only one world.”
Luhan swirls his hands again, dimming the lights and Baekhyun sees that they’re not just balls of light, they’re worlds and he’s looking into each and every one of them. He hesitates.
“Any specific requests?”
“Can I say I want to go to the world Tao is from?” Luhan perks up, suddenly realizing why the coin looked so familiar.
“Taozi~? Of course, I’m a magician. Almost anything is possible.” The orbs float away until one remains. It looks like medieval Earth, but then he sees people doing magic. He leans in closer, and he sees two men running away from people. But then he sees one of them is actually flying and he gasps and he knows this is where Tao-hyung is from.
“I want to go here,” Baekhyun says.
“Sure? Last chance to back out,” Luhan says. Baekhyun shakes his head, he knows this is where he’ll find his adventure.
“Good choice,” Luhan says, “I’m from EXO Planet too.”
He opens the back of the pocket watch. A clenching feeling in his gut appears just as quickly as it disappears.
One | Two