When autumn leaves fall
Title: When autumn leaves fall
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: kaianh
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Baekhyun/Kai
Word Count: 3,313
Summary: Baekhyun likes to watch the leaves fall on autumn, always waiting for the last leaf to fall.
Warnings: character death
Rating: PG
One
The first time Baekhyun met Kai, it was the beginning of autumn.
The leaves were turning orange and the wind was turning colder. As in every autumn, Baekhyun goes to visit his grandparents in Yeongdo. He likes the smell of the sea, the trees surrounding his grandparents’ house, the wind caressing his skin. Everything was peaceful. Everything was calm.
On his third day, he sat under his favorite tree, a large maple tree by his grandparents’ backyard, overlooking the sea. He had always loved sitting under the large tree, it was his own haven, his own world under those bright orange leaves.
“Hi. You must be new?” A boy about his age greeted him making him jump from his seat. He had tanned skin and bright eyes. He was wearing a loose shirt and shorts. Is he a neighbor? But I haven’t seen him before. Baekhyun sat upright looking into the boy with raised eyebrows.
“Who are you? What are you doing here? This is our property, I suggest you go before I call the cops.” Baekhyun tried really hard to keep his stance and his face void of any emotion, especially one of curiosity.
“Hey Kai!” Baekhyun looked around to find his grandma waving into his direction.
“Hey Mrs. Byun! I just came by to check on the plants.” The guy answered with a bright smile on his face that took Baekhyun aback. It was strange how his face lit up with that smile. How good he looked with that smile.
“Alright! Say hi to your mother for me.”
“I will!”
Baekhyun’s grandma went back inside the house.
“Still gonna call the cops?” Kai turned back around to face him.
Baekhyun kept his head up despite feeling embarrassed.
“No.” He looked up at the leaves again, returning to his previous position. But his body was stiff with the stranger, or not so stranger, still beside him.
“So you’re probably the grandson Grandma Byun always talk about. The one who lives in Seoul?” Kai sat down beside him on the bench.
“Obviously.”
“Are all city boys this grumpy?” Baekhyun looked at Kai, who was almost leaning in front of him, with a scoff on his face.
“What?” Baekhyun snapped upright.
“I’m just curious. Are all city boys this good-looking and grumpy at the same time? I’ve never been to the city so forgive me for not knowing.” Kai had a teasing grin on his face.
Baekhyun’s mouth hung open with the statement. He didn’t know whether to blush with being called good-looking or to be angry over being called grumpy. He went with anger.
“Hey! I’m not grumpy. I’m not the one ruining someone’s alone time.”
“Sorry, I was really just going to check on the plants. I’m Kai by the way.” The guy, Kai, held out his hands to Baekhyun. Baekhyun took the hand and shook it. And this time, he beamed a generic smile at Kai. A little smile wouldn’t hurt.
Right?
“I’m Baekhyun. So..you check the plants?” He didn’t try to hide his curiosity this time.
“Yeah, my mother wanted me to work part-time and Grandma Byun needs someone to tend her garden. She doesn’t want anyone to touch her plants except her, but she can’t take care of it anymore either. So I volunteered.” Kai gestured to the pots and plants around them.
“That’s nice of you.” Baekhyun looked at Kai. He was indeed nice and gorgeous too.
A strong gush of wind passed and Baekhyun felt the air change. He doesn’t know what or how but he knew something changed.
“Do you…maybe want to go have coffee with me?” Kai was looking down at his shoes, not daring to look straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. Baekhyun was shocked at his question and has his mouth open again.
“No.” Baekhyun teased.
Kai hung his head low and he stood up to go back to where he came from. Baekhyun stopped him with his hands holding onto the end of Kai’s shirt.
“I don’t drink coffee. You can drink coffee while I eat strawberry cake.” He smiled up at Kai.
Kai’s face lit up.
“Deal.” Kai looked at Baekhyun and smiled back.
“See you here tomorrow! I’ll show you the nice coffee place near here.” He said before running back to his house.
“Ok.”
After their conversation, Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile the whole day.
“So how come I have never seen you before?” Baekhyun was playing with the rim of his cup. He ordered tea, contrary to just eating strawberry cake, while Kai ordered coffee.
“We came here three years ago. I don’t really go out except for school or driving to town buying food supplies.” Kai laughed.
“I have never been here for five years. I guess that’s why we’ve never seen each other.”
“Well, now we’ll see each other a lot. You’ll be staying the whole of autumn right?”
“Yeah, then I have to get back to the city to continue my studies.”
“Great! We’ll have lots of fun.” Kai promised.
That date was their first for many to come. They had spent a lot of time playing under the big maple tree, on the coffee shop and Kai had taken him sightseeing around town. Baekhyun had never been so comfortable with anyone before and so happy being with someone’s company. Baekhyun thinks he might be liking Kai more than anyone he had ever met. He thinks it might even be love, but that would be too much to say about someone he met just a week ago.
“Baekhyun, why do you like this tree so much?” Kai and Baekhyun were lying down side by side under the large maple tree.
“When I was young, I was so sad to be away from the city, from my friends. I wanted to play with them but my parents insisted we go and visit grandma and grandpa.” He started. “When we arrived, grandma was so happy to see us but I stomped on my way inside, until I reached the room where we were supposed to stay in and slammed the door.” Baekhyun heard Kai murmur spoiled brat beside him. He grinned and slapped Kai on the shoulders.
“Grandma knocked on the door and asked me to go down with her. She took me to this backyard, under this tree. It was much smaller before but for a child, it was big enough to be his own safe haven.” He reached out in a gesture of holding the leaves in his hands.
“She said that whenever I would feel lonely, I could stay under the tree and watch as the leaves fall, counting until the day the last leaf will fall.” He put his hand down and looked at his side, at Kai. “Because the last leaf means I’m going back home.”
“Right now, I don’t want it to fall just yet.” Baekhyun whispered. Kai stared at the abundant orange leaves and thinks.
“It will eventually fall.” He murmured sadly. “But,” he slowly moves his hand to where Baekhyun’s are. He covered them with his and grips it. “I’ll be here waiting for the first leaf to turn orange again.”
“Because that means you’re coming back.”
Kai and Baekhyun made a list of things they wanted to do for the rest of the season. They went to every coffee shop in town and even went to see a movie once, or twice. Kai always walked him to his door. But Kai had never made a move on him, except for the occasional glances and holding of hands. When he walks Baekhyun to his door, it seems like he always wants to lean in and kiss Baekhyun but changes his mind at the last minute. Baekhyun, after 4 or 5 attempts at urging Kai to just do it, had enough.
“So here’s your house.” Kai said looking at Baekhyun, fidgeting around. Always fidgeting around.
“I know. Thanks for walking me home. I always tell you, you don’t need to but thanks anyway.” Baekhyun thinks if Kai still doesn’t do it this time. Then he will.
“Ok, so bye then.” Kai looked at Baekhyun one last time before turning around.
“Kai!” Baekhyun called out.
Kai stopped.
Baekhyun didn’t wait for Kai to turn around before turning his head and kissing Kai on the lips. He wrapped his arms around him and tip toes to better reach Kai’s lips. Kai held on to his waist and grips his hips before wrapping his arms around Baekhyun, deepening the kiss.
Baekhyun broke the kiss first and smiled up at Kai.
“Good night Kai. See you tomorrow.” Baekhyun closed the door on Kai’s swollen lips and stunned face.
“Go home Kai.” He shouted through the door and giggles when he saw that Kai hadn’t moved from the porch.
He saw Kai finally go and saw the guy skip and hop and slam into a trashcan, cursing it as he goes. Baekhyun giggled again at the sight before turning in to his bed and calling it a night.
They spend the next day holding hands, kissing and laughing at each other. They spent the whole season with more coffee dates, kisses and walks to Baekhyun’s door.
÷
The second time Baekhyun meets Kai it was also autumn.
He’s lying under the maple tree with tears in his eyes, waiting for Kai to come back. The tree is not as bare as yesterday, he remarks.
“Hi. You must be new?” Kai said with the same shirt and the same bright eyes. Baekhyun sat up, the shock evident on his face. He blinked slowly afraid that if he opens his eyes again, Kai will be gone.
Kai was still there when he opened his eyes, looking puzzled over his silence and dazzling just like the first time they met. This must be a dream. Baekhyun returned the smile, his heart lurching at seeing Kai and hearing his voice again. Baekhyun tried to suppress the urge to hug and kiss the guy.
“Y-yes, I am.”
“Hey Kai!”
“Hey Mrs Byun! I just came to check on the plants.”
“Alright! Say hi to your mother for me.”
“I will!”
When Baekhyun’s grandma goes back into the house, Baekhyun takes the initiative this time.
“Would you like to have coffee with me?”
Kai looked taken aback, he wanted to ask Baekhyun out when he had seen him but he never thought Baekhyun would ask first. “Yes! I know a coffee place near here. See you tomorrow!”
Baekhyun spends the rest of the days with Kai. Coffee dates, walks around town and finally, kisses under the autumn sky.
The autumn leaves have fallen again.
÷
The third time Baekhyun meets Kai it was the middle of autumn and they were in the middle of their fifth coffee date.
“How is life in the city? Do you have a lot of friends?” Kai asked, his bright eyes brimming with curiosity.
“It’s ok. It’s much more chaotic than here. Here, it’s peaceful and quiet. You’ll barely get any quiet there.” Baekhyun chuckled while remembering his life back at home.
“I have quite a few friends. They’re fun but not as fun as you.” Baekhyun looked up with a genuine smile on his face. Kai felt his world brighten up with the smile. It always surprises him how Baekhyun had liked him back and is with him now, having a coffee date with him. It felt surreal to him and he hoped they won’t end even after autumn ends and Baekhyun goes back home.
“I love you.” Baekhyun whispers while reaching for Kai’s hands on the table. Kai felt his heart about to burst.
“I love you too.” Kai whispers back.
I miss you. Baekhyun almost says but he holds back along with the tears that threatened to fall.
He dreads for that last leaf to fall.
÷
The fourth time Baekhyun meets Kai, it was almost the end of autumn. The leaves were almost gone. The trees almost bare. Baekhyun and Kai were sitting down under the maple tree, hands intertwined.
“Will you miss me when I’m gone?” Baekhyun asks.
“Of course.” Kai grips the hand in his before asking. “Will you?” He looks down and plays with Baekhyun’s hands. “Miss me?”
“Silly, of course I will.” Baekhyun leans into his side to rest his head on Kai’s shoulder. “I always will.” I do.
“Don’t go then!” Kai said before wrapping his arms around Baekhyun.
“I won’t.” But you will.
“What?” Kai was surprised by the answer, the hope in his eyes bright.
Baekhyun sighs, “I won’t go if you promise not to leave me.”
“Why would I do that?” Kai takes Baekhyun’s chin in his hands and tilts his head up. “I live here.”
“Promise me?” This time don’t leave me. Baekhyun pleaded with his eyes. This time please don’t go.
“Alright, I promise.” Baekhyun closed his eyes.
You broke your promise.
He sees another leaf fall from almost bare tree.
÷
The fifth time, the big maple tree was bare. Just about a few leaves were hanging on to the tree. Winter was around the corner and Baekhyun dreaded what he knew was coming.
“Hey.” Baekhyun looked around to see Kai looking sad but still with the same bright eyes he had when they met.
Let this time be different.
Please.
“Hey,” He says back. “You going somewhere?” Baekhyun asked nervously, Kai was wearing a thick jacket and boots and was holding a helmet under his hands.
“Yeah, my mother wants me to go to Seo to get some supplies from there.” Kai sat beside Baekhyun and takes his hand into his. It was so natural how their hands fit perfectly with each other. How seeing their hands together felt so right.
“I want to spend your last days here with you but I guess not today. I’ll see you tomorrow though. We’ll go watch a movie or just stay in your house.” Kai stood up and shifts the helmet on the other side.
“Don’t go.” Baekhyun clutches on to Kai’s shirt.
“Baekhyun,” Kai smiles down at him and kisses his cheeks before kissing him on the lips. “I’ll be back before you know it, Seo’s just about an hour’s drive from here.”
“Then I’ll come with you!” Baekhyun pleaded.
“I don’t have an extra helmet, besides, you need to stay here with your grandma and spend time with her too. She might kill me for hogging all your time.” Kai kissed Baekhyun’s nose and Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t be able to stop him. Just like all the other times.
“Be careful.”
Baekhyun closed his eyes.
He waits under the tree and sees the last leaf fall.
For the fifth time.
÷
The sixth time, it was the day before the accident.
“Baekhyun.” Kai was sitting beside him on the front porch. Baekhyun was holding on to his hand, never wanting to let him go.
“One day you have to let go of me.” Kai whispered.
“I can’t.” I will never let you go.
“When autumn ends this time, don’t come back.” Kai held on to Baekhyun’s hands, lifted it up and kisses it.
“I can’t.” Baekhyun felt tears in his eyes. Felt the tears flowing from his eyes.
“Yes, you can.”
“Why? I’ll keep coming back as long as I can. I don’t want to let go. I can’t. I’ll die without you.” Baekhyun’s tears won’t stop.
“You can’t be stuck here forever.”
“I can and I will!” Baekhyun will stand his ground.
“I can’t be stuck here forever.”
Baekhyun looked up in surprise. He looked at Kai’s face, his bright eyes, his smiling face.
“I was holding you back.” Baekhyun said it like a statement. Baekhyun looked down.
“I need to move on, and so do you.”
“See, my love, these leaves,” Kai picked up a brown leaf from the ground. “They fall and die but the tree grows new leaves in spring. More beautiful, more radiant.”
Kai cupped Baekhyun’s face and stared at his eyes. “I’ll always love you, you know that. I’ll look after you. But I’m gone and I wish someday you’ll find someone you’ll love, someone who’ll love you like I did and you’ll share a love more beautiful than ours. You’ll get to spend your whole life with him.” Kai said holding on to Baekhyun’s trembling hands.
“I’ll always love you.” Baekhyun said, with more tears in his eyes. Kai hugged him, tighter than any hug they had shared. Baekhyun looked up and reaches up to kiss Kai for the last time. “I love you.” He said while committing to memory all of Kai’s features. Kai’s lips on his, his nose, the crinkle in his eyes. Beautiful.
“Goodbye Kai.” He said as he closes his eyes and feels one last tear escape.
For the last time, the last leaf fell. The finality ringing in Baekhyun’s ear.
Goodbye.
÷
“Baekhyun!” Grandma Byun was running up his room, shaking him awake.
“Hmm? What is it grandma?” He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was only seven in the morning.
“Kai…He…I’m sorry dear.” Grandma Byun handed Kai’s jacket, the one he was wearing the day he went to Seo.
“W-what does this mean grandma? Wha-what is this? Why are you giving this to me? Why do you have it?” Baekhyun’s heartbeat double-timed. He knew, at the back of his mind, he knew what this could mean. He was getting panicky. No, it can’t be. Please, let it be not true.
“I’m sorry dear, there was a truck driving fast and, I’m so sorry dear.” Grandma Byun cupped his face and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “They got him to the hospital but…but it was too late.” His grandma hugged him while he struggled to get out of the hug, not believing what he was hearing. He has to go out, he has to see him.
“No, grandma, no. He said we’ll spend today together. And tomorrow and the day after, until it was time for me to go back home. He can’t…he can’t be…” He can’t seem to say the word. Saying the word would make it real. Tears wouldn’t stop flowing from his eyes.
He stayed under his favorite tree the whole day, the tree where they met, crying and relieving memories. He’s lying there with tears in his eyes, waiting for Kai to come back. The tree is not as bare as yesterday, he remarks.
÷
“I’ve never experienced winter in a long time.” Baekhyun said. He looked around the bus and sat on the last row. He had spent six autumns with Kai and he missed him so much. It was the last day of the sixth autumn and he was, finally, going home.
“Is this seat taken?” A deep voice asked.
“No. Feel free.” Baekhyun replied without looking up. He was arranging his things around him. He puts his bag below his seat, hangs a plastic of food from his grandma on the back of the seat in front of him.
The guy took the seat beside him.
“Going to Seoul?” The guy asked.
“Yeah.” He answered and this time he looks up to see a guy with bright eyes and a brighter smile.
“Hi, I’m Chanyeol.” The guy held out his hand for Baekhyun to shake.
“Hi, I’m Baekhyun. Nice to meet you.” Baekhyun took it and felt electricity run up his hands straight to his heart.
“It’s a long ride. Maybe by the end of our journey we’d be best friends.”
“It’s the first day of spring tomorrow.”
“He must be great.”
“He is.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Goodbye, Baekhyun.”
“Goodbye, Kai.”
I’ll always love you.
“Ready for spring?” Chanyeol asks taking Baekhyun’s hands in his.
Baekhyun looked up at the heavens.
Sees the new leaves grow and flowers bloom.
It’s a new season.
Baekhyun grips the hand in his. “Yes. I think I am.”
One
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: kaianh
Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol, Baekhyun/Kai
Word Count: 3,313
Summary: Baekhyun likes to watch the leaves fall on autumn, always waiting for the last leaf to fall.
Warnings: character death
Rating: PG
One
The first time Baekhyun met Kai, it was the beginning of autumn.
The leaves were turning orange and the wind was turning colder. As in every autumn, Baekhyun goes to visit his grandparents in Yeongdo. He likes the smell of the sea, the trees surrounding his grandparents’ house, the wind caressing his skin. Everything was peaceful. Everything was calm.
On his third day, he sat under his favorite tree, a large maple tree by his grandparents’ backyard, overlooking the sea. He had always loved sitting under the large tree, it was his own haven, his own world under those bright orange leaves.
“Hi. You must be new?” A boy about his age greeted him making him jump from his seat. He had tanned skin and bright eyes. He was wearing a loose shirt and shorts. Is he a neighbor? But I haven’t seen him before. Baekhyun sat upright looking into the boy with raised eyebrows.
“Who are you? What are you doing here? This is our property, I suggest you go before I call the cops.” Baekhyun tried really hard to keep his stance and his face void of any emotion, especially one of curiosity.
“Hey Kai!” Baekhyun looked around to find his grandma waving into his direction.
“Hey Mrs. Byun! I just came by to check on the plants.” The guy answered with a bright smile on his face that took Baekhyun aback. It was strange how his face lit up with that smile. How good he looked with that smile.
“Alright! Say hi to your mother for me.”
“I will!”
Baekhyun’s grandma went back inside the house.
“Still gonna call the cops?” Kai turned back around to face him.
Baekhyun kept his head up despite feeling embarrassed.
“No.” He looked up at the leaves again, returning to his previous position. But his body was stiff with the stranger, or not so stranger, still beside him.
“So you’re probably the grandson Grandma Byun always talk about. The one who lives in Seoul?” Kai sat down beside him on the bench.
“Obviously.”
“Are all city boys this grumpy?” Baekhyun looked at Kai, who was almost leaning in front of him, with a scoff on his face.
“What?” Baekhyun snapped upright.
“I’m just curious. Are all city boys this good-looking and grumpy at the same time? I’ve never been to the city so forgive me for not knowing.” Kai had a teasing grin on his face.
Baekhyun’s mouth hung open with the statement. He didn’t know whether to blush with being called good-looking or to be angry over being called grumpy. He went with anger.
“Hey! I’m not grumpy. I’m not the one ruining someone’s alone time.”
“Sorry, I was really just going to check on the plants. I’m Kai by the way.” The guy, Kai, held out his hands to Baekhyun. Baekhyun took the hand and shook it. And this time, he beamed a generic smile at Kai. A little smile wouldn’t hurt.
Right?
“I’m Baekhyun. So..you check the plants?” He didn’t try to hide his curiosity this time.
“Yeah, my mother wanted me to work part-time and Grandma Byun needs someone to tend her garden. She doesn’t want anyone to touch her plants except her, but she can’t take care of it anymore either. So I volunteered.” Kai gestured to the pots and plants around them.
“That’s nice of you.” Baekhyun looked at Kai. He was indeed nice and gorgeous too.
A strong gush of wind passed and Baekhyun felt the air change. He doesn’t know what or how but he knew something changed.
“Do you…maybe want to go have coffee with me?” Kai was looking down at his shoes, not daring to look straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. Baekhyun was shocked at his question and has his mouth open again.
“No.” Baekhyun teased.
Kai hung his head low and he stood up to go back to where he came from. Baekhyun stopped him with his hands holding onto the end of Kai’s shirt.
“I don’t drink coffee. You can drink coffee while I eat strawberry cake.” He smiled up at Kai.
Kai’s face lit up.
“Deal.” Kai looked at Baekhyun and smiled back.
“See you here tomorrow! I’ll show you the nice coffee place near here.” He said before running back to his house.
“Ok.”
After their conversation, Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile the whole day.
“So how come I have never seen you before?” Baekhyun was playing with the rim of his cup. He ordered tea, contrary to just eating strawberry cake, while Kai ordered coffee.
“We came here three years ago. I don’t really go out except for school or driving to town buying food supplies.” Kai laughed.
“I have never been here for five years. I guess that’s why we’ve never seen each other.”
“Well, now we’ll see each other a lot. You’ll be staying the whole of autumn right?”
“Yeah, then I have to get back to the city to continue my studies.”
“Great! We’ll have lots of fun.” Kai promised.
That date was their first for many to come. They had spent a lot of time playing under the big maple tree, on the coffee shop and Kai had taken him sightseeing around town. Baekhyun had never been so comfortable with anyone before and so happy being with someone’s company. Baekhyun thinks he might be liking Kai more than anyone he had ever met. He thinks it might even be love, but that would be too much to say about someone he met just a week ago.
“Baekhyun, why do you like this tree so much?” Kai and Baekhyun were lying down side by side under the large maple tree.
“When I was young, I was so sad to be away from the city, from my friends. I wanted to play with them but my parents insisted we go and visit grandma and grandpa.” He started. “When we arrived, grandma was so happy to see us but I stomped on my way inside, until I reached the room where we were supposed to stay in and slammed the door.” Baekhyun heard Kai murmur spoiled brat beside him. He grinned and slapped Kai on the shoulders.
“Grandma knocked on the door and asked me to go down with her. She took me to this backyard, under this tree. It was much smaller before but for a child, it was big enough to be his own safe haven.” He reached out in a gesture of holding the leaves in his hands.
“She said that whenever I would feel lonely, I could stay under the tree and watch as the leaves fall, counting until the day the last leaf will fall.” He put his hand down and looked at his side, at Kai. “Because the last leaf means I’m going back home.”
“Right now, I don’t want it to fall just yet.” Baekhyun whispered. Kai stared at the abundant orange leaves and thinks.
“It will eventually fall.” He murmured sadly. “But,” he slowly moves his hand to where Baekhyun’s are. He covered them with his and grips it. “I’ll be here waiting for the first leaf to turn orange again.”
“Because that means you’re coming back.”
Kai and Baekhyun made a list of things they wanted to do for the rest of the season. They went to every coffee shop in town and even went to see a movie once, or twice. Kai always walked him to his door. But Kai had never made a move on him, except for the occasional glances and holding of hands. When he walks Baekhyun to his door, it seems like he always wants to lean in and kiss Baekhyun but changes his mind at the last minute. Baekhyun, after 4 or 5 attempts at urging Kai to just do it, had enough.
“So here’s your house.” Kai said looking at Baekhyun, fidgeting around. Always fidgeting around.
“I know. Thanks for walking me home. I always tell you, you don’t need to but thanks anyway.” Baekhyun thinks if Kai still doesn’t do it this time. Then he will.
“Ok, so bye then.” Kai looked at Baekhyun one last time before turning around.
“Kai!” Baekhyun called out.
Kai stopped.
Baekhyun didn’t wait for Kai to turn around before turning his head and kissing Kai on the lips. He wrapped his arms around him and tip toes to better reach Kai’s lips. Kai held on to his waist and grips his hips before wrapping his arms around Baekhyun, deepening the kiss.
Baekhyun broke the kiss first and smiled up at Kai.
“Good night Kai. See you tomorrow.” Baekhyun closed the door on Kai’s swollen lips and stunned face.
“Go home Kai.” He shouted through the door and giggles when he saw that Kai hadn’t moved from the porch.
He saw Kai finally go and saw the guy skip and hop and slam into a trashcan, cursing it as he goes. Baekhyun giggled again at the sight before turning in to his bed and calling it a night.
They spend the next day holding hands, kissing and laughing at each other. They spent the whole season with more coffee dates, kisses and walks to Baekhyun’s door.
÷
The second time Baekhyun meets Kai it was also autumn.
He’s lying under the maple tree with tears in his eyes, waiting for Kai to come back. The tree is not as bare as yesterday, he remarks.
“Hi. You must be new?” Kai said with the same shirt and the same bright eyes. Baekhyun sat up, the shock evident on his face. He blinked slowly afraid that if he opens his eyes again, Kai will be gone.
Kai was still there when he opened his eyes, looking puzzled over his silence and dazzling just like the first time they met. This must be a dream. Baekhyun returned the smile, his heart lurching at seeing Kai and hearing his voice again. Baekhyun tried to suppress the urge to hug and kiss the guy.
“Y-yes, I am.”
“Hey Kai!”
“Hey Mrs Byun! I just came to check on the plants.”
“Alright! Say hi to your mother for me.”
“I will!”
When Baekhyun’s grandma goes back into the house, Baekhyun takes the initiative this time.
“Would you like to have coffee with me?”
Kai looked taken aback, he wanted to ask Baekhyun out when he had seen him but he never thought Baekhyun would ask first. “Yes! I know a coffee place near here. See you tomorrow!”
Baekhyun spends the rest of the days with Kai. Coffee dates, walks around town and finally, kisses under the autumn sky.
The autumn leaves have fallen again.
÷
The third time Baekhyun meets Kai it was the middle of autumn and they were in the middle of their fifth coffee date.
“How is life in the city? Do you have a lot of friends?” Kai asked, his bright eyes brimming with curiosity.
“It’s ok. It’s much more chaotic than here. Here, it’s peaceful and quiet. You’ll barely get any quiet there.” Baekhyun chuckled while remembering his life back at home.
“I have quite a few friends. They’re fun but not as fun as you.” Baekhyun looked up with a genuine smile on his face. Kai felt his world brighten up with the smile. It always surprises him how Baekhyun had liked him back and is with him now, having a coffee date with him. It felt surreal to him and he hoped they won’t end even after autumn ends and Baekhyun goes back home.
“I love you.” Baekhyun whispers while reaching for Kai’s hands on the table. Kai felt his heart about to burst.
“I love you too.” Kai whispers back.
I miss you. Baekhyun almost says but he holds back along with the tears that threatened to fall.
He dreads for that last leaf to fall.
÷
The fourth time Baekhyun meets Kai, it was almost the end of autumn. The leaves were almost gone. The trees almost bare. Baekhyun and Kai were sitting down under the maple tree, hands intertwined.
“Will you miss me when I’m gone?” Baekhyun asks.
“Of course.” Kai grips the hand in his before asking. “Will you?” He looks down and plays with Baekhyun’s hands. “Miss me?”
“Silly, of course I will.” Baekhyun leans into his side to rest his head on Kai’s shoulder. “I always will.” I do.
“Don’t go then!” Kai said before wrapping his arms around Baekhyun.
“I won’t.” But you will.
“What?” Kai was surprised by the answer, the hope in his eyes bright.
Baekhyun sighs, “I won’t go if you promise not to leave me.”
“Why would I do that?” Kai takes Baekhyun’s chin in his hands and tilts his head up. “I live here.”
“Promise me?” This time don’t leave me. Baekhyun pleaded with his eyes. This time please don’t go.
“Alright, I promise.” Baekhyun closed his eyes.
You broke your promise.
He sees another leaf fall from almost bare tree.
÷
The fifth time, the big maple tree was bare. Just about a few leaves were hanging on to the tree. Winter was around the corner and Baekhyun dreaded what he knew was coming.
“Hey.” Baekhyun looked around to see Kai looking sad but still with the same bright eyes he had when they met.
Let this time be different.
Please.
“Hey,” He says back. “You going somewhere?” Baekhyun asked nervously, Kai was wearing a thick jacket and boots and was holding a helmet under his hands.
“Yeah, my mother wants me to go to Seo to get some supplies from there.” Kai sat beside Baekhyun and takes his hand into his. It was so natural how their hands fit perfectly with each other. How seeing their hands together felt so right.
“I want to spend your last days here with you but I guess not today. I’ll see you tomorrow though. We’ll go watch a movie or just stay in your house.” Kai stood up and shifts the helmet on the other side.
“Don’t go.” Baekhyun clutches on to Kai’s shirt.
“Baekhyun,” Kai smiles down at him and kisses his cheeks before kissing him on the lips. “I’ll be back before you know it, Seo’s just about an hour’s drive from here.”
“Then I’ll come with you!” Baekhyun pleaded.
“I don’t have an extra helmet, besides, you need to stay here with your grandma and spend time with her too. She might kill me for hogging all your time.” Kai kissed Baekhyun’s nose and Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t be able to stop him. Just like all the other times.
“Be careful.”
Baekhyun closed his eyes.
He waits under the tree and sees the last leaf fall.
For the fifth time.
÷
The sixth time, it was the day before the accident.
“Baekhyun.” Kai was sitting beside him on the front porch. Baekhyun was holding on to his hand, never wanting to let him go.
“One day you have to let go of me.” Kai whispered.
“I can’t.” I will never let you go.
“When autumn ends this time, don’t come back.” Kai held on to Baekhyun’s hands, lifted it up and kisses it.
“I can’t.” Baekhyun felt tears in his eyes. Felt the tears flowing from his eyes.
“Yes, you can.”
“Why? I’ll keep coming back as long as I can. I don’t want to let go. I can’t. I’ll die without you.” Baekhyun’s tears won’t stop.
“You can’t be stuck here forever.”
“I can and I will!” Baekhyun will stand his ground.
“I can’t be stuck here forever.”
Baekhyun looked up in surprise. He looked at Kai’s face, his bright eyes, his smiling face.
“I was holding you back.” Baekhyun said it like a statement. Baekhyun looked down.
“I need to move on, and so do you.”
“See, my love, these leaves,” Kai picked up a brown leaf from the ground. “They fall and die but the tree grows new leaves in spring. More beautiful, more radiant.”
Kai cupped Baekhyun’s face and stared at his eyes. “I’ll always love you, you know that. I’ll look after you. But I’m gone and I wish someday you’ll find someone you’ll love, someone who’ll love you like I did and you’ll share a love more beautiful than ours. You’ll get to spend your whole life with him.” Kai said holding on to Baekhyun’s trembling hands.
“I’ll always love you.” Baekhyun said, with more tears in his eyes. Kai hugged him, tighter than any hug they had shared. Baekhyun looked up and reaches up to kiss Kai for the last time. “I love you.” He said while committing to memory all of Kai’s features. Kai’s lips on his, his nose, the crinkle in his eyes. Beautiful.
“Goodbye Kai.” He said as he closes his eyes and feels one last tear escape.
For the last time, the last leaf fell. The finality ringing in Baekhyun’s ear.
Goodbye.
÷
“Baekhyun!” Grandma Byun was running up his room, shaking him awake.
“Hmm? What is it grandma?” He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was only seven in the morning.
“Kai…He…I’m sorry dear.” Grandma Byun handed Kai’s jacket, the one he was wearing the day he went to Seo.
“W-what does this mean grandma? Wha-what is this? Why are you giving this to me? Why do you have it?” Baekhyun’s heartbeat double-timed. He knew, at the back of his mind, he knew what this could mean. He was getting panicky. No, it can’t be. Please, let it be not true.
“I’m sorry dear, there was a truck driving fast and, I’m so sorry dear.” Grandma Byun cupped his face and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “They got him to the hospital but…but it was too late.” His grandma hugged him while he struggled to get out of the hug, not believing what he was hearing. He has to go out, he has to see him.
“No, grandma, no. He said we’ll spend today together. And tomorrow and the day after, until it was time for me to go back home. He can’t…he can’t be…” He can’t seem to say the word. Saying the word would make it real. Tears wouldn’t stop flowing from his eyes.
He stayed under his favorite tree the whole day, the tree where they met, crying and relieving memories. He’s lying there with tears in his eyes, waiting for Kai to come back. The tree is not as bare as yesterday, he remarks.
÷
“I’ve never experienced winter in a long time.” Baekhyun said. He looked around the bus and sat on the last row. He had spent six autumns with Kai and he missed him so much. It was the last day of the sixth autumn and he was, finally, going home.
“Is this seat taken?” A deep voice asked.
“No. Feel free.” Baekhyun replied without looking up. He was arranging his things around him. He puts his bag below his seat, hangs a plastic of food from his grandma on the back of the seat in front of him.
The guy took the seat beside him.
“Going to Seoul?” The guy asked.
“Yeah.” He answered and this time he looks up to see a guy with bright eyes and a brighter smile.
“Hi, I’m Chanyeol.” The guy held out his hand for Baekhyun to shake.
“Hi, I’m Baekhyun. Nice to meet you.” Baekhyun took it and felt electricity run up his hands straight to his heart.
“It’s a long ride. Maybe by the end of our journey we’d be best friends.”
“It’s the first day of spring tomorrow.”
“He must be great.”
“He is.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Goodbye, Baekhyun.”
“Goodbye, Kai.”
I’ll always love you.
“Ready for spring?” Chanyeol asks taking Baekhyun’s hands in his.
Baekhyun looked up at the heavens.
Sees the new leaves grow and flowers bloom.
It’s a new season.
Baekhyun grips the hand in his. “Yes. I think I am.”
One