exotic fruits i’ve ever eaten
Title: exotic fruits i've ever eaten
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: Everyone
Pairing: Baekhyun-centric, Baekhyun/Sehun
Word Count: 3,100
Summary: Life's a hoot when you're a fruit! Also, Baekhyun likes guacamole.
Warnings: Sharp human teeth, reincarnation, Excessive exoticness
Rating: PG-13
One
The first thing that Baekhyun sees when he arrives in his new home is a gigantic green beach ball with stripes. Baekhyun’s hypothetical eyes widen at the sight. “Hi,” the green ball seems to say. “I’m Chanyeol. I’m a mini-watermelon.”
Oh, right, Baekhyun nods inside his head. I’m a fruit. “Baekhyun,” he greets back, glancing up at the humongous mass that Chanyeol is. “Blackberry.” It’s kind of ironic, though, how Baekhyun’s name almost always makes people think he’s white, when in reality he’s one of the darkest fruits around.
“Cool,” says the watermelon cheerfully. “Welcome to the Exotic Fruit Basket!”
“You make that sound like a really lame band name or something,” someone drawls from the far end of the container. It’s a mandarin; Baekhyun wonders if he’s as annoying an orange as he looks.
“Shush, Chen. We should be welcoming the new guy,” a little potato says. Were potatoes even fruits? Baekhyun leaves the question unanswered with an internal shrug, since he doesn’t actually have shoulders. At least the potato seemed like he was a nice fellow.
“Sorry,” Chanyeol says then, his deep voice remotely startling Baekhyun. “Chen’s a bit snarky at times, but Lay’s usually around to help cushion the blow of his words so that nobody gets too hurt. Otherwise we’d all be bruised fruits. No one likes bruised fruits.”
“It shouldn’t matter to you anyway,” remarks Chen, the smirk in his voice evident as he addresses Chanyeol. “You have such thick skin.”
“Actually, it’s called an exocarp.”
“Wow, that’s specific,” Baekhyun says, vaguely impressed by Chanyeol’s knowledge of the watermelon anatomy.
“Ooh, you know what else is specific?” Chen suddenly starts bouncing up and down in excitement, and then rolls onto his side so that his apex is right in Baekhyun’s fruity face. “The location of my navel. Wanna lick it?”
“Sorry,” Lay says, steering a traumatized Baekhyun away from Chen, who is - much to the citrus fruit’s dismay - being rolled away by Chanyeol. “Chen was a body sushi worker in his most recent past life. He’s a tad bit exhibitionistic.”
“You seem used to it, though. You’re really calm,” replies a slightly stunned Baek-berry, wondering if he’ll ever be as unruffled as Lay in the future.
The potato chuckles. “It’s just not my thing to freak out. A few lives back, I was a very active yoga practitioner. It is my belief that all beings - fruits included - should calmly look within themselves to find their true spirits, in order to reach a greater understanding of their innermost souls. Take me for example; I’m not just a normal potato. On the inside, I’m a purple potato.”
Baekhyun jumps. “Whoa, that’s cool! I heard purple potatoes taste great.”
“Yeah, I know right-”
“Please,” slurs a gruff voice from behind them, “bananas taste greater.”
“But honeydews are the greatest,” somebodyfruit else pipes up.
After some maneuvering, Baekhyun finds himself face to face with a bickering banana and honeydew. They’re remotely amusing. They both look pretty though, what with how the honeydew is rather petite for its size and seems quite exuberant, while the banana has smooth yellow skin which looks like it would be nice to peel.
“Stop arguing about your awesomeness, guys,” Chanyeol cuts in. “Everyone knows watermelons are the best. And this is Baekhyun, he’s new!” Said watermelon makes sure to add in the last part quickly so that no one can challenge him.
“Blackberry,” Baekhyun introduces again. “Part-time singer, part-time guacamole maker. In my most recent past life, at least.”
“I’m Luhan,” the small honeydew says, rolling a little bit in the direction of the banana. “And this guy here is Kris.”
The banana sighs at Luhan’s words. “You should really call me Yifan, you know, since it’s my real name and all.”
“Nonsense,” replies Luhan. “Kris is a fantastic name.”
It comes to Baekhyun’s knowledge that Yifan used to be a model in his past life, taking the stage name Kris after receiving advice from Luhan, his best friend and manager.
“I’m not even really Canadian. I’m ethnically Chinese,” Yifan insists after explaining the situation to Baekhyun, before turning to Luhan. “Ni hao ma?”
Luhan scoffs and Baekhyun can almost see him rolling his eyes. “I can call you whatever I want. You know that your marketing as a Canadian worked so well for us last time. Hey, even now, you’re white on the inside, and yellow on the outside.”
“Appropriate much,” Yifan grumbles. “Although I must admit I probably taste great with maple syrup or beer.”
“Oh, oh, oh,” yells Chanyeol. “I like beer! A lot!” Everyone has the sense to look alarmed when he starting spinning himself around excitedly.
“By the way,” whispers Lay cautiously, having edged his way behind Baekhyun during the conversation, “Chanyeol used to be a clown, a bartender and a basketball player.” At this, Baekhyun tries to nod his head (or lack thereof); the purple potato’s revelation is enough to account for Chanyeol’s extroversive nature.
It’s admittedly fun, being able to meet so many people of different backgrounds in this single Exotic Fruit Basket, sharing one thing in common - that they’re stuck as fruits until their lives come to an end when they get consumed and digested. Oh well, at least it’s better than being a toy poodle with all those terrible hair-days, as Baekhyun had once been before.
“I think I like being here. You guys are cool,” comments Baekhyun after a while, hoping that the others detect his invisible smile.
“Oh we know,” Chen says then, “and if you already think we’re awesome, I’ll have you know that you’ve only met half of us!”
Baekhyun laughs nervously. Oh, boy fruit.
÷
“I may look a little funny on the outside, but I assure you, I haven’t gone rotten,” cheerfully pipes Suho, a friendly custard apple. Baekhyun thinks the custard apple looks a little bit wrinkly and old, but it’s probably just his appearance.
“Those two in the corner are Tao and Xiumin,” Suho continues, stem pointing in the direction of a peach and a strawberry huddled in a corner. “They both have fairly soft skin, so they enjoy hanging out together. What’s cool is that Tao used to be a martial artist, and Xiumin used to be a steamed bun in his past life.”
Baekhyun nods. He hopes he remembers the names of all the fruits, and tries not to comment on how Tao seems to be rubbing himself against the smaller fruit next to him. At least Xiumin doesn’t look too bothered. Yet. “How about you?” he asks Suho. “What were you in your most recent life?”
A bashful shrug comes from Suho then, and he sheepishly points Baekhyun towards a cherry tomato and a coconut. “See those two over there? The smaller one’s D.O., and the bigger one’s Kai. D.O. used to be a singer at a Hawaiian luau and Kai used to be a hula dancer. They’re pretty much attached, and I was their employer who had the misfortune of walking in on them a few times.”
“I’m sorry,” says Baekhyun, gently bumping himself against Suho in apology.
“It’s fine. Oh wait, there’s still one of us you haven’t met!”
For a moment, Baekhyun wonders how exotic the last fruit will be, personality or exterior or otherwise. He receives a pleasant surprise, however, when Suho steers him so that he catches sight of dark green skin. He’s seen skin of such a wonderful texture on many occasions before, and has had the honor of touching the aforementioned skin as well. Baek-berry inches just a little bit closer, but he can already feel the excitement inside of his tiny bumpy body.
Little pink heart bubbles form in his imaginary kohl-lined eyes.
An avocado, he gasps in his head. How beautiful.
“Sehun,” Suho calls out, “come say hello to Baekhyun!”
“Hello,” says the avocado, this Sehun fruit, after he rolls over from his corner towards Baekhyun. “I’m Sehun. I’m an-”
“Avocado,” finishes Baekhyun quickly and surely, too in awe of the sight before him to feel remotely embarrassed. Suho politely excuses himself upon hearing Xiumin’s cries of help because You’re sweet, Tao, but I think you might be jostling my seeds out!
Sehun raises a conceptual brow and smirks in a conceptually charming manner. “You are familiar with products of my variety?”
With that question, Baekhyun starts gushing and doesn’t know when he’ll stop. “Of course, I used to make copious amounts of guacamole in my past life! I know avocados very well! Not that I’d want to mash you up, don’t worry. It’s just that you’re an avocado. And I love avocados. And you’re just- You’re just-” he takes one more look at Sehun’s gorgeous figure, “wow.”
“You love avocados, eh?” Sehun seems thoroughly amused now; Baekhyun’s pretty sure he himself would be as red as Chanyeol’s insides if he were a human.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“That’s good news,” replies Sehun, brightening considerably. The look suits him well, making his skin look glossier. “I used to test electronic devices. Blackberrys were my favorite.”
Baekhyun keens. This might be the start of a wonderful relationship.
÷
He might’ve only known Sehun for a week, but Baekhyun thinks they could be getting as close as Xiumin and Tao, or D.O. and Kai.
He loves how Sehun talks to him about how he used to play with lots of mobile phones and appliances, but Blackberrys were the most fun to use. In turn, Baekhyun shyly tells Sehun about the tedious process of making guacamole, and feels tingly all over his thin skin when Sehun smiles and calls guacamole making an art. You’re the real piece of art, thinks Baekhyun as glances at his new love interest, not daring to say anything aloud just yet.
Baekhyun also loves sitting next to Sehun during most of the day, just enjoying each others’ presence, apart from when Kai decides to have a rolling party for the larger fruits and Sehun is obliged to join in. The smaller fruits all sit in a corner and have abstract afternoon tea.
“Do I look okay?” asks Xiumin one day, green leaves on top of his head appearing a bit droopy. “I feel as if I’m ripening way too fast.”
“Don’t worry,” D.O. gently consoles, patting the strawberry next to him. “Maybe’s Yifan’s penchant for fretting about his youthfulness is rubbing off on you. He’s been complaining an awful lot that he’s turning browner by the day.”
“Well, he kind of is,” says Chen. Xiumin sobs then, and D.O.’s imaginary eyes are plate-wide, glaring at the annoying mandarin who seems to shrink under his gaze.
“I think we should all relax. Enjoy life,” Lay drawls from the side, having been too Zen for the rolling party despite his physical toughness. “Take Baekhyun, for example. He’s certainly enjoying his new life with Sehun.”
Baekhyun receives a few nudges from around him as his already dark skin flushes even darker; lucky it’s not too noticeable. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his lovely Sehun rolling around with a handsome grin on his face, looking riper and fuller and - dare he say it - so very sexy.
Ah, guacamole. Yum.
÷
“Wake up. Baekhyun, wake up. Oh for the love of fruit-”
“What?” answers Baekhyun sleepily, having been rudely shaken awake from his regular afternoon nap. He’d been having a nice dream about making guacamole (which may or may not have involved his favorite avocado in the basket) and now it’s all ended.
“We are moving,” D.O. says, “moving.”
Baekhyun sits up and blinks. “To where? Another container?”
Kai sighs resolutely from Baekhyun’s other side. “What D.O. means is that we’re going to d-”
“Do not say the ‘d’-word!” hisses D.O. immediately. “If Chanyeol hears you, he’s going to have a panic attack.”
“Well,” Kai mutters in return, “it’s not as if he doesn’t know that moving means we’re going to die.”
“WE ARE GOING TO DIE, MY FRIENDS. DIE.” Said watermelon starts yelling uncontrollably. No fruit in the basket is physically capable of restraining him while he rolls around, so they just resort to glaring at their resident coconut instead. Kai only looks ashamed when D.O. appears to be judging him, even as an eye-less cherry tomato.
It only occurs to Baekhyun then that yes, they are indeed moving around, and it’s not because of Chanyeol’s freaking out. He looks up to what he thinks might be the ceiling, only to be met with the sight of a giant human face peering down into the basket.
“Wow,” says the female basket-bearer to herself, not seeming to care that all the fruits are cowering in fear. She’s the same woman who bought Baekhyun as an individual blackberry, oddly enough. “My exotic fruit mix looks good, I’m sure the kids will love it. Nothing like delicious fruits at an outdoor lunch.”
“NO,” wails Chanyeol in agony, although nothing painful has happened yet. “NOOOOOO.”
“It was nice knowing you all,” Yifan comments from his position against the wall of the basket. “You fruits made great basket mates.”
We’re going to be eaten, Baekhyun tells himself then. As clichéd as it is, his entire like as a cute little Baek-berry flashes before his putatively invisible (possibly non-existent) eyes. He thinks back to all that he’s experienced as a fruit in the Exotic Fruit Basket. Chanyeol’s fooling-around, Chen’s exhibitionism, Lay’s kindness, so on and so forth…
And most of all, he thinks of Sehun. He’ll never know the true extent of what I feel for him, Baekhyun forlornly muses, watching Sehun from across the fruit basket. Somehow, Baekhyun can picture said avocado nervously licking his lips if he were a human.
The basket jerks a little as the woman carrying it steps outside into her backyard. Gone is the safety of the kitchen. Adults chat. Children scream. Fruits wail.
“Oh my god, this is really happening,” Zitao says, his peach fuzz visibly trembling.
As usual, Lay tries to say something helpful. “Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe we’ll all have really cool lives after this. We could be in a boy band, or something! We could call ourselves EXO in honor of the Exotic Fruit Basket!”
Unfortunately, his words aren’t as soothing as he wants them to be. Everyone screams at their collectively inevitable fate.
“Goodbye, dear friends,” wails Luhan. “We may never meet again.”
“Stop being so dramatic,” Chen snaps quickly, although everyone is truly saddened on the inside and he is no exception. “We all knew our lives would end this way eventually.”
D.O. sniffs, snuggling up to Kai even as they all shift around in the moving basket. “It’s truly a pity that we may not remember each other.”
Nearly on the verge of crying his dark, sweet juices out (not that there’s much to begin with), Baekhyun tries to keep himself as composed as possible. As all the fruits roll around, he bumps into someone else and almost bruises himself, but blushes instead upon realizing that it’s Sehun. The young avocado looks riper and darker than usual.
“I hope I remember you in my next life, Baekhyun,” says Sehun seriously.
Baekhyun nods, fighting back internal tears. “I want to remember you too,” he replies, feeling awfully sour at the moment.
Then it happens so very fast, each of the exotic fruits being grabbed by the grubby, grabby hand of a child (or a few hands of a few children, in Chanyeol’s case, and the hand of an adult by the barbeque pit, in Lay’s case). There they all go, being devoured enthusiastically and surely by a bunch of scary human beings.
“Goodbye world!” shrieks Baekhyun for the last time as he approaches a set of young but intimidatingly sharp teeth. “And goodbye, my delicious Sehun!”
One moment Baekhyun exists; the next, his little blackberry bits are swimming in the hydrochloric acid of a random kid’s stomach.
Goodbye.
÷
“Fuck, guys,” Baekhyun calls out to his roommates in the early morning, voice still gravelly from sleep. His head is throbbing a little. “Guys, I just had the weirdest dream.”
It’s only when he opens his eyes that Baekhyun discovers he’s talking to an empty room. His hands start roaming his face immediately, and Baekhyun is immensely relieved to find that he is not bumpy like a blackberry. In fact, he is not remotely fruit-like. For that he is extremely thankful.
The other guys’ leaving him alone is admittedly atypical, however. Even Chanyeol is nowhere in sight, said rapper’s messy bed the only trace of him having slept in the room last night. Minseok and Zitao’s side is clean as usual.
Baekhyun hums thoughtfully to himself. He absentmindedly scratches his privates through his sweatpants, an integral part of his morning wake up routine, and moves to the kitchen to find out whether Kyungsoo is making breakfast. Kyungsoo isn’t there, but someone else is - someone who fortunately (or unfortunately) bears no resemblance to an avocado.
“Hey, hyung,” Sehun greets, standing at the kitchen island.
Baekhyun isn’t sure whether or not to feel alarmed at the way the younger boy is smirking. “Where are the others?” he quickly asks. This morning doesn’t feel quite right, for some strange reason.
“Half went to the gym, the other half went out for food,” replies Sehun casually. He pauses for a moment, before continuing in a quietly low voice. “Are you looking for food, hyung? I have some right here, we can share.”
Baekhyun slowly turns away from the fridge. “O-Oh. Right, sure. Yeah.” He isn’t sure why he’s stuttering, but he moves carefully towards Sehun anyway.
As Sehun pushes a bowl of thick green paste across the tabletop, Baekhyun feels himself paling considerably. He glances at the tortilla chips in an adjacent bowl, and braces himself for Sehun’s words, accompanied by the maknae’s saccharine smile.
“Guacamole for you?”
A/N:
fruit au! well not really. i mean, it is, but. erm. i sincerely hope you enjoyed this (it was kind of intended to be a mixture between 2 of your prompts) ;~; happy belated new year!/i>
One
Author: Anonymous until 1/30/14
For: Everyone
Pairing: Baekhyun-centric, Baekhyun/Sehun
Word Count: 3,100
Summary: Life's a hoot when you're a fruit! Also, Baekhyun likes guacamole.
Warnings: Sharp human teeth, reincarnation, Excessive exoticness
Rating: PG-13
One
The first thing that Baekhyun sees when he arrives in his new home is a gigantic green beach ball with stripes. Baekhyun’s hypothetical eyes widen at the sight. “Hi,” the green ball seems to say. “I’m Chanyeol. I’m a mini-watermelon.”
Oh, right, Baekhyun nods inside his head. I’m a fruit. “Baekhyun,” he greets back, glancing up at the humongous mass that Chanyeol is. “Blackberry.” It’s kind of ironic, though, how Baekhyun’s name almost always makes people think he’s white, when in reality he’s one of the darkest fruits around.
“Cool,” says the watermelon cheerfully. “Welcome to the Exotic Fruit Basket!”
“You make that sound like a really lame band name or something,” someone drawls from the far end of the container. It’s a mandarin; Baekhyun wonders if he’s as annoying an orange as he looks.
“Shush, Chen. We should be welcoming the new guy,” a little potato says. Were potatoes even fruits? Baekhyun leaves the question unanswered with an internal shrug, since he doesn’t actually have shoulders. At least the potato seemed like he was a nice fellow.
“Sorry,” Chanyeol says then, his deep voice remotely startling Baekhyun. “Chen’s a bit snarky at times, but Lay’s usually around to help cushion the blow of his words so that nobody gets too hurt. Otherwise we’d all be bruised fruits. No one likes bruised fruits.”
“It shouldn’t matter to you anyway,” remarks Chen, the smirk in his voice evident as he addresses Chanyeol. “You have such thick skin.”
“Actually, it’s called an exocarp.”
“Wow, that’s specific,” Baekhyun says, vaguely impressed by Chanyeol’s knowledge of the watermelon anatomy.
“Ooh, you know what else is specific?” Chen suddenly starts bouncing up and down in excitement, and then rolls onto his side so that his apex is right in Baekhyun’s fruity face. “The location of my navel. Wanna lick it?”
“Sorry,” Lay says, steering a traumatized Baekhyun away from Chen, who is - much to the citrus fruit’s dismay - being rolled away by Chanyeol. “Chen was a body sushi worker in his most recent past life. He’s a tad bit exhibitionistic.”
“You seem used to it, though. You’re really calm,” replies a slightly stunned Baek-berry, wondering if he’ll ever be as unruffled as Lay in the future.
The potato chuckles. “It’s just not my thing to freak out. A few lives back, I was a very active yoga practitioner. It is my belief that all beings - fruits included - should calmly look within themselves to find their true spirits, in order to reach a greater understanding of their innermost souls. Take me for example; I’m not just a normal potato. On the inside, I’m a purple potato.”
Baekhyun jumps. “Whoa, that’s cool! I heard purple potatoes taste great.”
“Yeah, I know right-”
“Please,” slurs a gruff voice from behind them, “bananas taste greater.”
“But honeydews are the greatest,” somebodyfruit else pipes up.
After some maneuvering, Baekhyun finds himself face to face with a bickering banana and honeydew. They’re remotely amusing. They both look pretty though, what with how the honeydew is rather petite for its size and seems quite exuberant, while the banana has smooth yellow skin which looks like it would be nice to peel.
“Stop arguing about your awesomeness, guys,” Chanyeol cuts in. “Everyone knows watermelons are the best. And this is Baekhyun, he’s new!” Said watermelon makes sure to add in the last part quickly so that no one can challenge him.
“Blackberry,” Baekhyun introduces again. “Part-time singer, part-time guacamole maker. In my most recent past life, at least.”
“I’m Luhan,” the small honeydew says, rolling a little bit in the direction of the banana. “And this guy here is Kris.”
The banana sighs at Luhan’s words. “You should really call me Yifan, you know, since it’s my real name and all.”
“Nonsense,” replies Luhan. “Kris is a fantastic name.”
It comes to Baekhyun’s knowledge that Yifan used to be a model in his past life, taking the stage name Kris after receiving advice from Luhan, his best friend and manager.
“I’m not even really Canadian. I’m ethnically Chinese,” Yifan insists after explaining the situation to Baekhyun, before turning to Luhan. “Ni hao ma?”
Luhan scoffs and Baekhyun can almost see him rolling his eyes. “I can call you whatever I want. You know that your marketing as a Canadian worked so well for us last time. Hey, even now, you’re white on the inside, and yellow on the outside.”
“Appropriate much,” Yifan grumbles. “Although I must admit I probably taste great with maple syrup or beer.”
“Oh, oh, oh,” yells Chanyeol. “I like beer! A lot!” Everyone has the sense to look alarmed when he starting spinning himself around excitedly.
“By the way,” whispers Lay cautiously, having edged his way behind Baekhyun during the conversation, “Chanyeol used to be a clown, a bartender and a basketball player.” At this, Baekhyun tries to nod his head (or lack thereof); the purple potato’s revelation is enough to account for Chanyeol’s extroversive nature.
It’s admittedly fun, being able to meet so many people of different backgrounds in this single Exotic Fruit Basket, sharing one thing in common - that they’re stuck as fruits until their lives come to an end when they get consumed and digested. Oh well, at least it’s better than being a toy poodle with all those terrible hair-days, as Baekhyun had once been before.
“I think I like being here. You guys are cool,” comments Baekhyun after a while, hoping that the others detect his invisible smile.
“Oh we know,” Chen says then, “and if you already think we’re awesome, I’ll have you know that you’ve only met half of us!”
Baekhyun laughs nervously. Oh, boy fruit.
÷
“I may look a little funny on the outside, but I assure you, I haven’t gone rotten,” cheerfully pipes Suho, a friendly custard apple. Baekhyun thinks the custard apple looks a little bit wrinkly and old, but it’s probably just his appearance.
“Those two in the corner are Tao and Xiumin,” Suho continues, stem pointing in the direction of a peach and a strawberry huddled in a corner. “They both have fairly soft skin, so they enjoy hanging out together. What’s cool is that Tao used to be a martial artist, and Xiumin used to be a steamed bun in his past life.”
Baekhyun nods. He hopes he remembers the names of all the fruits, and tries not to comment on how Tao seems to be rubbing himself against the smaller fruit next to him. At least Xiumin doesn’t look too bothered. Yet. “How about you?” he asks Suho. “What were you in your most recent life?”
A bashful shrug comes from Suho then, and he sheepishly points Baekhyun towards a cherry tomato and a coconut. “See those two over there? The smaller one’s D.O., and the bigger one’s Kai. D.O. used to be a singer at a Hawaiian luau and Kai used to be a hula dancer. They’re pretty much attached, and I was their employer who had the misfortune of walking in on them a few times.”
“I’m sorry,” says Baekhyun, gently bumping himself against Suho in apology.
“It’s fine. Oh wait, there’s still one of us you haven’t met!”
For a moment, Baekhyun wonders how exotic the last fruit will be, personality or exterior or otherwise. He receives a pleasant surprise, however, when Suho steers him so that he catches sight of dark green skin. He’s seen skin of such a wonderful texture on many occasions before, and has had the honor of touching the aforementioned skin as well. Baek-berry inches just a little bit closer, but he can already feel the excitement inside of his tiny bumpy body.
Little pink heart bubbles form in his imaginary kohl-lined eyes.
An avocado, he gasps in his head. How beautiful.
“Sehun,” Suho calls out, “come say hello to Baekhyun!”
“Hello,” says the avocado, this Sehun fruit, after he rolls over from his corner towards Baekhyun. “I’m Sehun. I’m an-”
“Avocado,” finishes Baekhyun quickly and surely, too in awe of the sight before him to feel remotely embarrassed. Suho politely excuses himself upon hearing Xiumin’s cries of help because You’re sweet, Tao, but I think you might be jostling my seeds out!
Sehun raises a conceptual brow and smirks in a conceptually charming manner. “You are familiar with products of my variety?”
With that question, Baekhyun starts gushing and doesn’t know when he’ll stop. “Of course, I used to make copious amounts of guacamole in my past life! I know avocados very well! Not that I’d want to mash you up, don’t worry. It’s just that you’re an avocado. And I love avocados. And you’re just- You’re just-” he takes one more look at Sehun’s gorgeous figure, “wow.”
“You love avocados, eh?” Sehun seems thoroughly amused now; Baekhyun’s pretty sure he himself would be as red as Chanyeol’s insides if he were a human.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
“That’s good news,” replies Sehun, brightening considerably. The look suits him well, making his skin look glossier. “I used to test electronic devices. Blackberrys were my favorite.”
Baekhyun keens. This might be the start of a wonderful relationship.
÷
He might’ve only known Sehun for a week, but Baekhyun thinks they could be getting as close as Xiumin and Tao, or D.O. and Kai.
He loves how Sehun talks to him about how he used to play with lots of mobile phones and appliances, but Blackberrys were the most fun to use. In turn, Baekhyun shyly tells Sehun about the tedious process of making guacamole, and feels tingly all over his thin skin when Sehun smiles and calls guacamole making an art. You’re the real piece of art, thinks Baekhyun as glances at his new love interest, not daring to say anything aloud just yet.
Baekhyun also loves sitting next to Sehun during most of the day, just enjoying each others’ presence, apart from when Kai decides to have a rolling party for the larger fruits and Sehun is obliged to join in. The smaller fruits all sit in a corner and have abstract afternoon tea.
“Do I look okay?” asks Xiumin one day, green leaves on top of his head appearing a bit droopy. “I feel as if I’m ripening way too fast.”
“Don’t worry,” D.O. gently consoles, patting the strawberry next to him. “Maybe’s Yifan’s penchant for fretting about his youthfulness is rubbing off on you. He’s been complaining an awful lot that he’s turning browner by the day.”
“Well, he kind of is,” says Chen. Xiumin sobs then, and D.O.’s imaginary eyes are plate-wide, glaring at the annoying mandarin who seems to shrink under his gaze.
“I think we should all relax. Enjoy life,” Lay drawls from the side, having been too Zen for the rolling party despite his physical toughness. “Take Baekhyun, for example. He’s certainly enjoying his new life with Sehun.”
Baekhyun receives a few nudges from around him as his already dark skin flushes even darker; lucky it’s not too noticeable. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees his lovely Sehun rolling around with a handsome grin on his face, looking riper and fuller and - dare he say it - so very sexy.
Ah, guacamole. Yum.
÷
“Wake up. Baekhyun, wake up. Oh for the love of fruit-”
“What?” answers Baekhyun sleepily, having been rudely shaken awake from his regular afternoon nap. He’d been having a nice dream about making guacamole (which may or may not have involved his favorite avocado in the basket) and now it’s all ended.
“We are moving,” D.O. says, “moving.”
Baekhyun sits up and blinks. “To where? Another container?”
Kai sighs resolutely from Baekhyun’s other side. “What D.O. means is that we’re going to d-”
“Do not say the ‘d’-word!” hisses D.O. immediately. “If Chanyeol hears you, he’s going to have a panic attack.”
“Well,” Kai mutters in return, “it’s not as if he doesn’t know that moving means we’re going to die.”
“WE ARE GOING TO DIE, MY FRIENDS. DIE.” Said watermelon starts yelling uncontrollably. No fruit in the basket is physically capable of restraining him while he rolls around, so they just resort to glaring at their resident coconut instead. Kai only looks ashamed when D.O. appears to be judging him, even as an eye-less cherry tomato.
It only occurs to Baekhyun then that yes, they are indeed moving around, and it’s not because of Chanyeol’s freaking out. He looks up to what he thinks might be the ceiling, only to be met with the sight of a giant human face peering down into the basket.
“Wow,” says the female basket-bearer to herself, not seeming to care that all the fruits are cowering in fear. She’s the same woman who bought Baekhyun as an individual blackberry, oddly enough. “My exotic fruit mix looks good, I’m sure the kids will love it. Nothing like delicious fruits at an outdoor lunch.”
“NO,” wails Chanyeol in agony, although nothing painful has happened yet. “NOOOOOO.”
“It was nice knowing you all,” Yifan comments from his position against the wall of the basket. “You fruits made great basket mates.”
We’re going to be eaten, Baekhyun tells himself then. As clichéd as it is, his entire like as a cute little Baek-berry flashes before his putatively invisible (possibly non-existent) eyes. He thinks back to all that he’s experienced as a fruit in the Exotic Fruit Basket. Chanyeol’s fooling-around, Chen’s exhibitionism, Lay’s kindness, so on and so forth…
And most of all, he thinks of Sehun. He’ll never know the true extent of what I feel for him, Baekhyun forlornly muses, watching Sehun from across the fruit basket. Somehow, Baekhyun can picture said avocado nervously licking his lips if he were a human.
The basket jerks a little as the woman carrying it steps outside into her backyard. Gone is the safety of the kitchen. Adults chat. Children scream. Fruits wail.
“Oh my god, this is really happening,” Zitao says, his peach fuzz visibly trembling.
As usual, Lay tries to say something helpful. “Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe we’ll all have really cool lives after this. We could be in a boy band, or something! We could call ourselves EXO in honor of the Exotic Fruit Basket!”
Unfortunately, his words aren’t as soothing as he wants them to be. Everyone screams at their collectively inevitable fate.
“Goodbye, dear friends,” wails Luhan. “We may never meet again.”
“Stop being so dramatic,” Chen snaps quickly, although everyone is truly saddened on the inside and he is no exception. “We all knew our lives would end this way eventually.”
D.O. sniffs, snuggling up to Kai even as they all shift around in the moving basket. “It’s truly a pity that we may not remember each other.”
Nearly on the verge of crying his dark, sweet juices out (not that there’s much to begin with), Baekhyun tries to keep himself as composed as possible. As all the fruits roll around, he bumps into someone else and almost bruises himself, but blushes instead upon realizing that it’s Sehun. The young avocado looks riper and darker than usual.
“I hope I remember you in my next life, Baekhyun,” says Sehun seriously.
Baekhyun nods, fighting back internal tears. “I want to remember you too,” he replies, feeling awfully sour at the moment.
Then it happens so very fast, each of the exotic fruits being grabbed by the grubby, grabby hand of a child (or a few hands of a few children, in Chanyeol’s case, and the hand of an adult by the barbeque pit, in Lay’s case). There they all go, being devoured enthusiastically and surely by a bunch of scary human beings.
“Goodbye world!” shrieks Baekhyun for the last time as he approaches a set of young but intimidatingly sharp teeth. “And goodbye, my delicious Sehun!”
One moment Baekhyun exists; the next, his little blackberry bits are swimming in the hydrochloric acid of a random kid’s stomach.
Goodbye.
÷
“Fuck, guys,” Baekhyun calls out to his roommates in the early morning, voice still gravelly from sleep. His head is throbbing a little. “Guys, I just had the weirdest dream.”
It’s only when he opens his eyes that Baekhyun discovers he’s talking to an empty room. His hands start roaming his face immediately, and Baekhyun is immensely relieved to find that he is not bumpy like a blackberry. In fact, he is not remotely fruit-like. For that he is extremely thankful.
The other guys’ leaving him alone is admittedly atypical, however. Even Chanyeol is nowhere in sight, said rapper’s messy bed the only trace of him having slept in the room last night. Minseok and Zitao’s side is clean as usual.
Baekhyun hums thoughtfully to himself. He absentmindedly scratches his privates through his sweatpants, an integral part of his morning wake up routine, and moves to the kitchen to find out whether Kyungsoo is making breakfast. Kyungsoo isn’t there, but someone else is - someone who fortunately (or unfortunately) bears no resemblance to an avocado.
“Hey, hyung,” Sehun greets, standing at the kitchen island.
Baekhyun isn’t sure whether or not to feel alarmed at the way the younger boy is smirking. “Where are the others?” he quickly asks. This morning doesn’t feel quite right, for some strange reason.
“Half went to the gym, the other half went out for food,” replies Sehun casually. He pauses for a moment, before continuing in a quietly low voice. “Are you looking for food, hyung? I have some right here, we can share.”
Baekhyun slowly turns away from the fridge. “O-Oh. Right, sure. Yeah.” He isn’t sure why he’s stuttering, but he moves carefully towards Sehun anyway.
As Sehun pushes a bowl of thick green paste across the tabletop, Baekhyun feels himself paling considerably. He glances at the tortilla chips in an adjacent bowl, and braces himself for Sehun’s words, accompanied by the maknae’s saccharine smile.
“Guacamole for you?”
A/N:
fruit au! well not really. i mean, it is, but. erm. i sincerely hope you enjoyed this (it was kind of intended to be a mixture between 2 of your prompts) ;~; happy belated new year!/i>
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