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I could fall into the eyes of anyone but you now...
This is a list of the things that I should have seen but I'm not seeing. Look at me, because I'm not seeing you. I don't believe in love like I don't believe in god, desperately wishing such things were real and living like I know they're not. Rid of apologies now draped in an absence of regret and who am I? No longer scared of heights for the ( Read more... ) -
Jiggedy Jigg
...as in, home again, home again. And wow, is this home. I missed absolutely everything, except that this isn't the same place any more, and I'm not the same person. Earth-Fire boy went and got baptized in wind and water, like a girl he once new and now everything is different. Places once haunted by painful memories are now home to potential for ( Read more... ) -
Surrendering the Throne.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that. I am no longer the manager, or even a resident of the Hawthorne Apartment Building. For ten years that building has been in our circle of friends, Josh and Ryan started it, and this weekend, I ended it. Cleaning out a decade's worth of scum, filth and memories, drunken girls falling over papa-san chairs, ( Read more... ) -
Stuck moving
Driving home caught between the shuddering click of my truck's aging engine and the twanging guitar of the music I gave you I am stuck. With your head on my shoulder shivering against what we'll say is the song but I know it's the wish that I didn't wish it meant more than it does I am stuck. Here I go again, forgetting how the nets get stuck in my ( Read more... ) -
How can a night so frozen be so scalding hot?
I have lamented a lack of contrast in my life. I have raged against my need for maddened bipolarity to make my life, myself interesting. Here I am again, off balance. Swollen with guilt and pain and the trauma of pain past I still rush at a joy that is always just at the edge of my grasp. I only want what I can't have. Maybe I do have a problem ( Read more... ) -
Some kind of...
I want to say, "I'm just at a place in my life when I can't really have anything for myself. I'm empty and broken and caught between who I was and who I'll be..." and not sound like a whiny brat. This, however is impossible, so I won't try. Finally understand the lyrics to "You Can Call Me Al," as I can't have much, but I can have a bodyguard. I ( Read more... ) -
Softer.
Sleepwalking today. Whiskey. Football. Future. Over one problem and on to another, the big one...motion, change. Need a doctor, or the doctor, you know, whatever. Last night sucked. Today is better. Every day is better, moving on toward the end. The Liminal Lad has an expiration date. Who am I after that? Country boy in the big city...hmm, that ( Read more... ) -
Broke
Most of the time these days I'm moved on from all the dumb and painful shit I've raked myself over, tonight was pretty bad though. I didn't want to be Mark and Vanessa, that's why I've done it twice. So now, instead of being excited and happy and blushing over some new folly, I'm just shaken to my core over the same old crap. It doesn't matter how ( Read more... ) -
Cold fingers, cold feet.
Let's be metaphorical for a moment...oh wait, where am I? Yes, that's right. This is the lunatic, liminal hell I've cast my life in, for my own good. Good, I think I know a thing or two about that, at least from a selfish, self-important sort of perspective. I have to go now. I have a ticket, not golden or anything, but it'll take me where I'm ( Read more... ) -
Chocolate Egg Cream
And just like that, I can be a superhero again, sitting at a counter in good ole Fawcett. But what was the point of all that? Change...right. There's someone on the other side of the fireplace, but I can't quite make her out. Too much sound and fury between here and there. Don't think it's anywhere near France, these days. More likely somewhere ( Read more... )